The Hut of Gl/Doom Part V- for the unapologetically despondent

Oh Eclipse, that's rotten news. I hope you get a definate answer whichever way it goes. I can't advise on alcohol, although I'm sure a couple of glasses to dull the immediate torment wouldn't hurt. Take care of yourself x

oh shit eclipse, im so sorry. if you still test positive i would hold off the booze until you have had a scan. wish there was something else i could say, but i'm thinking of you x

Eclipse - probably not what you want to hear, but I was still testing +ve 2 months after mc last autumn. 2 months blind panic that mp returning - so blood test might not be as conclusive as you might hope. Fingers crossed for more positive outcome though.

Hi, Lissie and everyone,
Sorry to show my ugly mug back in here after signing off for a bit. I'd be lying if I said I haven't checked in from time to time, I'm always on the look out for good news, even though it's the Hut.

Unfortunately the Hut is the only place to go right now. The good news is that I got a bfp a week ago, closely followed by the bad news of copious bleeding (and I mean full on horror show to the extent I was confined to the bathroom for some hours) starting yesterday afternoon. As anyone who remembers me will know, dh and I have been trying for a second child for about 15 months now and so we're very sad to lose this one. Given the quantity of bleeding I hold out no real hope for this pregnancy but there was no pain and after 12 hours, the bleeding has now stopped. I'm off to the GP for a blood test on Friday. Is it safe to assume it's all over and I can drink my way through the next few days, or should I still exercise caution. Dh is away for a week so I'm a bit on my own with this one?

quiet in here!

Just dropping in some homemade chocolate muffins and more supplies of pink gin. Thought I'd better treat you and the caravan the same (though you get the booze too as you need it)
LNO - and I know exactly how you feel re people who are horrid to their kids for doing nothing wrong.
I'm not feeling too low at the moment, so am going now.

Hello All, is it just me or are we all sad and fed up at the moment? Is it lack of Vit D (the sunlight one)? It's like Autumn here. I am so sorry, LNO, that the IVF was such a big disappointment. It could still happen. I watched 'Children of Men' with Clive Owen recently, now that'll make you cry. I bawled.

LNO, not sad to hope, just human. im v lucky to have ds but i was totally paranoid thoughout my pg and im probably too soft on him now. i feel guilty for wanting another so badly and not being able to give him a sibling. i feel guilty for not being there for him thru my mc's and the ep, but mainly feel guilty for failing my family so badly.

Hi Lissie no not evil just normal - I too am fed up of being happy for everyone who announces they are PG, especially when they say "it just happened" and shrug it off like a bit of dust on their shoulder...if I ever got PG I would tell everyone that we have tried for over 10 yrs and defied medical science and proud of it!! ....there I go hoping again - how sad is that...

I was in Boots the other day and a woman was really shouting at her little kiddy (aged around 2) and it was doing nothing. I just stood there and stared at her! I was dying to say - Look either shut up or give the kid to me! dont you realise what a precious gift you have there....but oh no....then it made me think - would we be like that, if we did get BFP and carried it to full term, would we quickly forget the pain we had TTC and be like all the others?????

Think I need an early drink!

ikwym, i hate the person that ftc has made me. i cant get excited about bfps anymore, mine or someone elses, i cant have sex without obsessing about whether or not we have concieved and whether that potenitial bean will stick. but even worse than that whenever someone i know announces that they are pg and it was an "accident" i half hope that something will go wrong, just so they feel a fraction of what i've been thru. does that make me evil? its the first time ive admitted it

thanks Lissie and Impy - what I cant understand is how my mind works over this TTC business..... Like last night, I know that I cant be pg this month cos the clinic took my eggs but cos I feel so bloated and (.)(.) hurt I keep thinking that I am. I know logically I cant be but some where deep inside I keep hoping something messed up like he missed one egg, somehow it got fertilised by BD 3 days before and now I am....quite frankly aliens landing on earth stand a better chance...so why does my head do such things???

Im sure all of this TTC is slowly making me mad . The worst thing is no one at work knows except my boss and she doesnt understand/doesnt really want to know except what time will I need off and does this fit in with other schedules ..so thanks for being there folks!

BTW - where is Duchesse - havent heard from her in a while - not off with the camels again is she???
LNO x

Oh LNO, I'm so sorry. What a complete disappointment for you. This lottery is so cruel. Don't worry about eating/weight/just lying there turning into a miserable whale: You can sort those things out later on. Do whatever you need to do to get through this tough bit first.

What a sad shame.

oh LNO. thats truly shit. i wish i could say something to make you feel better or (better yet) wave a magic wand, but know that i'm here for you x

Hello Dear Hutties, well Im well and truely back in the hut after a desperate attempt to stay positive for all of about 2 weeks.....

I should have come in here on Saturday but DP was trying his level best to cheer me up and I couldnt but just go along with it so that it made him feel good.

We had our second round of IVF this month - only 2 eggs and both were of such crap quality that they didnt even bother inviting me back for Egg collection on Sunday. Now I just feel so empty. I thought I would try and go to work today to get my head away from all of this but all I keep thinking is 'now what????' I just can't seem to raise my spirits from this set back - must admit I havent had any alcohol yet (for fear of giving me an even worse headache) so have just sat on the sofa and eaten, and eaten and eaten til now I feel sooooo sick. Why do we put ourselves through this. Now not only can I not conceive but will have to try and lose the extra stone that I have put on due to the drugs (and all the food this week end)....Im sure Bridget jones didnt have to put up with all of this..

I havent got a clue which way to turn. I am at the end of the TTC road I feel cos Im now 45 and I cant see my eggs getting any better. It really F*@ks me off when you read in the newspaper that a woman gave birth naturally at 59 - what is all that about .
Is it okay if I just sit here and eat my way through the virtual chocys - that way hopefully I wont gain many more pounds...

i always give them a blow by blow account of everythging thats happened since ttc. building your hpes up, the intial excitement then that feeling when i start bleeding and i realise that my oct/nov/dec/jan/feb/mar/apr baby just isnt going to exist. shuts them up pretty quickly.

oh and i f*cking hate packing!

Good luck Gracie x

Thanks Impatience, I was having a bad day yesterday and needed to vent. If I didn't have mumsnet I don't know what I'd do.

I'll definately try your idea instead of just saying nothing and hope that she understands not to ask me again. Thanks again

Hi Gracie, welcome. Sorry you're feeling so down. It's hard, isn't it. If it were me, next time that colleague asks I'd say it's taking longer that I thought and I'll tell her when I'm pregnant. That's a gentle way of saying STOP ASKING ME. If she fails to pick up the hint, try the second way!

I find it embarrassing when people know I'm ttc and then month after month there I am with no news. But you are an embassador for all us FTCers: break the myth that is bloody easy to get pregnant! (Hmmm, silver lining anyone... )

Hi all, I've never actually ventured in here hope you don't mind me coming. I recognise a couple of you in here but for those of you that don't know me this is my 11th cycle ttc my first. Feeling down today (seems to be the story of my life at the moment )

Have really been trying to relax more this month but the last few days have been hard. I've had about three people this week ask me when I am going to have babies!!!(Including my 8 month pregnant friend) Are people just plain bloody stupid is it really any of their business anyway!!!!

I had told a couple of people that I was TTC when I started nearly a year ago (I know I must of been mad - but was extremely excited at the time) one of these people was a collegue (who I'm not that close too but was upset one day and it all came flooding out) anyway every other month or so she asks me if anything has happened now if I was pregnant would I not announce it and be the happiest person alive!!! How do I get her to stop asking before I end up clobbering her with the nearest bit of office equipment!!

On that note, I will summon the energy to go cook... and in true slut form, I will add some chilli - that oughta heat it up a bit

You see... where else could you have such utterly mental conversations? The Hut Rules All.

now sausage in the hole I can work with!

i had toad in the hole . possibly you could call it sausage in the hole

everyone ok?

how to slut-up a pasta bake? let me think...will you be cooking it under a red light?...or adding any 'extras'?

We are having a pasta bake (from scratch-smug!) - how can I make that sound filthy.