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Conception

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Original poster

The Hut of Gl/Doom Part V- for the unapologetically despondent

986 replies

duchesse · 01/08/2007 08:56

The new hut. Ta-da!

This one is a snug little basement World War 2 type nightclub, with dim lighting, snug velvet sofas, red walls and certainly no politically correct smoking bans. Occasionally certain selected men may be admitted at our convenience.

Sit down, make yourselves at home, and never, ever apologise for feeling like shit. That's about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 05/10/2007 08:39

Yep, I'll glug a quick one down, seeing as I'm now officially out of the ftc game. Am frantically busy irl today though, so shall run in at periodic intervals, throw a swift something down me neck, and run out again.

Glug

hic

OP posts:
lissiethevampireslayer · 04/10/2007 20:55

thank you.

anyone want to drink with me?

Ready · 04/10/2007 20:28

I'm off out for a real drink liss but big hugs. Hope you are ok? (daft question) Thinking of you chick.

lissiethevampireslayer · 04/10/2007 19:39

duchesse, whats wrong? or is that a stupid question?

can i join you? found out that my friend had a little girl, guess when! go on, guess!

thats right, monday.
anyone want to join me?

Original poster
duchesse · 04/10/2007 13:14

Hi girls. Can someone point me in the direction of the Barren Old Crone commemorative booth please?

OP posts:
ronshar · 04/10/2007 10:14

Hi lissie. I love Buffy. But I love Angel and Spike sooooo much more.

I'm pretty ok. 2 days to get through and then I can draw a line under the whole sorry affair.

Thanks Kensgirl. How are you getting on?

Ready · 03/10/2007 22:46

Loving your Halloween name lissie - I think the thing with ttc again, only you can decide what is right for you. I can't imagine it is easy to decide. Have you been given any medical advice (or is that a daft question?)

kensgirl · 03/10/2007 18:49

Thinking of you, Lissie and Ronshar xx

lissiethevampireslayer · 03/10/2007 18:38

how are you doing ronshar?

thanks for all your good wishes, feel relieved that its over but disappointed. dont know whether to keep trying or wait for a bit longer. hope everyone is ok x

Ready · 02/10/2007 21:21

Thinking of you ladies who are having EDDs to cope with. I can't even imagine how painful it must be. Warm wishes

ronshar · 02/10/2007 21:15

Lissie I hope you got through a truely horrible day. Sending lots of love to you.

Impatience · 01/10/2007 19:40

Lissie, just wanted to wish you whatever it is you need on your edd xx

ronshar · 01/10/2007 12:31

Lissielou. I am thinking of you today. My little bean was due at the end of this week so I know where you are in this horrible nightmare.
I dont want to upset you at all but have you thought about Fostering? You sound like such an amazing woman and there are so many children out there who need love and security. Please dont take it the wrong way as I know it isnt for everyone.
i am raising a glass to Lissielou.

lissielou · 30/09/2007 08:56

does everyone else find themselves surrounded by that bloody kerry katona "oh no im pg" headline everywhere they go? i want to scream, "you ungrateful b*tch, if you dont want to get pg, dont have sex" at it. got massively drunk last night and sobbed for 2h about my baby, sorry you are going thru this too sybil. im just sick of all these EDD's coming around now, we have been ttc for 2y now (exactly) and duchesse, i dont know how you've managed this far. eclipse youre right tho. my mc's are easier to cope with because there would have been something wrong, with my ep the little bean held on through 2 big bleeds and even had a heartbeat before my tube ruined it all by rupturing. i know that my baby had to die so ds could have his mummy, but why? why did it have to be one or the other? doing this course in holistics has got me wondering if it happened because i had a swedish massage the day before i found out i was pg. if that somehow stopped nubbin getting to the right place. i feel so guilty. my baby should either be here or getting ready to come, all safe and warm. instead he/she is all alone. didnt even have a chance.

sorry, v maudlin selfish post

Original poster
duchesse · 30/09/2007 08:18

Imp- me too. That's why I'm kind of scarce here now. I'm stopping at the end of this cycle anyway- it'll be a nice round 50 cycles ftc (plus three actually pregnant, but I'm lying to myself about those), and that is enough. I'm starting not to be too bothered any more. I wish I could be here more to support others, but don't want to be in limbo. When my head's straighter about it, and the decision is made properly, I'll be around more, spouting nonsense.

Edds are not nice, sybil, lissie. And generally we're the only ones who remember them at all. Menfolk don't seem too bothered.

OP posts:
eclipse · 29/09/2007 22:56

Hi, Lissie and Impatience,
Feeling much more cheerful again, thanks. It just comes and goes, as I'm sure you know.

Lissie, I haven't been there but I personally would have found an ep much harder to get over than an early miscarriage. I don't think my embryo was ever really okay so I don't feel I lost a baby. I would feel very differently about an ep which might have been a potentially fine baby. I'm so sorry no one else seems to be aware why this time is so important to you.

Impatience, don't fade out yet. Surely adding to your family through adoption can be carried on this thread? You might be the only success story for ages.

sybilvimes, sorry for your sad day. I have found myself avoiding a particular pregnant friend (her second easy conception, she giggled to me) because she won't stop moaning about being pregnant. You're in good company here.

PiggyPenguin · 29/09/2007 19:42

My edd was today I have had a crappy day. DD was up at 4.45 and refused to go back to bed so felt exhausted all day and then had to take her to a birthday party where one of the other mums was hugely pregnant. I could hardly bear to look at her.

lissielou · 29/09/2007 12:13

impy, i really hope that it works out for you. what type of career move?

eclipse, how are you today?

well on monday my ep bean would have been due and everyone seems to have forgotten. i know life goes on etc but cant believe that noone else seems to have remembered.

Impatience · 28/09/2007 20:23

Hi girls. I'm slowly slipping out of here, as my emotional investment in FTC is dying. I'm looking into adoption, although I'm trying to change my career so that won't be viewed very positively. I don't know what will happen with us, but I just keep trying to focus on ds and the amazing intensity of our little triangle of relationships.

Lissie, I hope your stopping helps you to get your life back. It's been a tough time, and it makes a lot of sense to stop. But I know it's hard, so I hope you continue being ok.

Eclipse, sorry you're feeling low (or were on Monday!) I hope you feel better soon. x

eclipse · 24/09/2007 20:11

I'm feeling a bit sad too right now. Like most people, I was hoping to get pregnant again straight after m/c and that hasn't happened so now I'm back to wondering if it ever will. I'm okay, but it feels like I'm really back to square one. When we started to ttc no. 2 I was 36, now I'm 38 and it just feels like it's only going to get less likely to happen with each passing month rather than 'oh, it's bound to happen eventually'. Ho hum, guess the hut is still the right place for me.
I also really don't want my last pregancy to have ended in a miscarriage.

lissielou · 24/09/2007 13:05

i actually feel a bit sad and as tho i have let my lost babies down by giving up. but in my heart i know ive made the right decision. how are you doing?

eclipse · 23/09/2007 19:15

Hi, Lissie,
It is very quiet these days, isn't it. I read your news about giving up the ftc/ttc stuff. I guess if you do get well contracepted up it really does give you a break from all the watching and waiting so you can do some ordinary living. And I can certainly understand not wanting to risk another mc. I've just had a look at your profile (gorgeous little boy) and you've got years on me (where 40 is getting to be a scarily real prospect). If you ever did want to give it another go in the next ten years, science may have moved on a bit.
Do you feel relieved at your decision or undecided?

lissielou · 23/09/2007 17:48

how is everyone? all very quiet here

lissielou · 20/09/2007 22:02

no such thing as worse, just different where ttc is concerned. i no longer use the ttc boards. sick of the bfps and realised that i am one of longest serving ftc-ers. not a nice title, so we are officially giving up. dh asked if we should sort some contraception out, i just said "why bother?" but dont want to mc again so its off to the docs with me i think!

Ready · 20/09/2007 21:55

Hey lissie - Hope you are ok. I am just cheesed off that cramps have started, so I know this cycle is out. And I am just fed up with trying and failing each month. Like I said, I feel bad, when in the presence of people who have really suffered. But today is just a bad day.