The Hut of Gl/Doom Part V- for the unapologetically despondent

Oh duchesse Did she change her mind or was it unplanned? Either way, doesn't change how you feel does it

Glug...........cheers.........hic

yep, it's crap. crap. crap. crap days all around.

Ronshar - I don't blame you at all. I am now at the stage where I don't feel I could be genuinely happy for a close friend if she got pregnant. That is a horrible realisation, but at least I am prepared for how I might feel if it happened. You are not a horrible person (neither am I - at least I don't think I am!) it's just one of those things.

Glastochick - what a bitch your mate's gf is Bet you felt like jumping across the table and ripping her head off. I do and I don't even know her!

I am feeling shite today. I bought some clearblue digital opks this month and despite being on CD15 I still haven't had a smiley face. Don't know if that means I've stopped ovulating or whether the tests are unreliable.

Evidently "but" was buy! That's what happens when you're typing and seeing red at the same time.

Ronshar - I don't believe your a horrible person by any stretch of the imagination just going through a tough time and at least you managed to say all the right things. I've just being avoiding the woman I know who is due on my first EDD date. So far I haven't even seen her to offer my congrats and the baby's due in March!

Anyway I think bitch / horrible person of the day goes to the woman that poor glastochick had to have lunch with. What a bloody nerve [fangry}, I'm amazed you didn't dump your dinner on her lap, your drink on her head and make for the door. It must be nice to live in a world where if you really want something it always comes true, baby , Ferrari and a house in the Bahamas for me please! Stupid bitch, but her a dictionary for her Christmas and ring Empathy in red pen, maybe she'll take the hint

it is bloody marvelous. It blocks out all those bloody horrible pregnant ladies who stick their bellies in your face when you are least expecting it.

Oooh, absinth sounds nice

I would reply but the Absinth has gone straight to my head today.

Afternoon all.

Never popped in to the hut before but the title sums up my mood exactly.

GRRRRRRRR!

So, I went to meet my best friend and his girlfriend for lunch. I don't particularly like this woman, but it's the festive season and for my best friend I will go to the end of the world and back if need be.

He knows we've started TTC and it cropped up in conversation. She's got 2 children from 2 different previous relationships and of course she fell really easily. She had the bl**dy cheek to say that if I really wanted it I would have fallen straight away (ffs, we're only on cycle 3!!!) and I must be torn between wanting a family and wanting a career.

Oooooh, she made my blood boil!!! I really had to bite my tongue, but I wish I hadn't now.

DH has said before he's convinced she's jealous of me in many different areas, but that's no excuse to behave like a prize bitch.

Sorry, bit of a rant but she really made me very very angry!!!

Feel better for sharing now (taking deep breaths and thinking calming thoughts)

Hi Herby , life can be pretty shit at times and it,s difficult to always be happy for others, I think it's a perfectly normal reaction. Is there no way you can avoid your sisters for Christmas? If I was you I'd be tempted to book a few nights away for a champagne fuelled break with dh/dp/friends and say bugger off to the family approach . We all deserve a little selfishness if it helps you get through.

I tell you Ladylush, just the memory makes the balls of my feet throb again. I've been in flats every since and may well be until the new year.

I am also going to ruin the mood.

My best friend has just told me she is 13+3. I get the feeling that she didnt really want to tell me. This is number 3 for her. 1DD 1DS. She is due two weeks before I would have been had I not MC'd in October.

I was very brave said all the right things, smiled, was very enthusiastic. But when I drove away from the house I had to get my self together as fell apart.
I feel like the worst friend in the world. I feel selfish. I feel numb inside. I feel just like it has happened all over again. I am back in March having the ERPC done.
Why is it that I thought I was ok. I thought I was over all this crap. I am very obviously not. Even now I want to cry.
I have been so strong and positive recently and now I feel like I have been hit by a ton of bricks. I am no longer positive as feel like a failure again.
Its not bloody fair. I do not begrudge her her baby. But I want my own. I am a horrible person.

Thanks LL. I had all the tests done after my third mc. The last two (numbers 3 and 4) both had chromosonal problems (trisomies), just down to bad luck. And age.

Feel for your herby Have you had all the investigations done?

Ouch Mich - your poor feet

its shit herby. i wish i could take it away for you xxx

Can I just bring the hut back down to its non-festive level of glum.

It's now nearly a year since I last conceived. I just had my 42nd birthday. I think once again I missed the boat this cycle, as my boobs have that post-ov ache they always get. My period is due on Christmas day, which I'll be spending at my pregnant sister's house. She has two boys already, and conceived this one first time trying. Even if I do conceive, chances are I'll miscarry, as I did the past four babies.

Now a friend has just announced she's 15 weeks pregnant. And I've turned into such a bitter old cow that even though she's had two miscarriages, I can't be pleased for her. Just jealous. And even though I fill my life up with work, hobbies and friends, and have the most wonderful DP, whenever anyone gets pregnant it just highlights my emptiness.

I'm sure you all know how I feel. Outwardly in real life no-one would know I'm not the life and soul...

Hi all, I can see it's been a fun and upbeat week all round.

Santamissus, glad to hear there is nothing seriously wrong, though I'm aware how frustrating that must be. Luckily with the tempreture dropping even without lucky Ronshars sking holiday on the horizon you'll need to find someway of keeping warm .

Do you think if we all had our DH's dress up as Santa and believed as much as we did when we were Children, we could cause some sort of cosmic force that would make Santa deliver . Though to be fair in my situation it's Mrs Clause that's defunct .

I've had no MN time this week as I've been stuck in the London office all week. Did manage to alleviate the boredom slightly by drinking my body weight in Champagne at the
office Christmas do on Wed night. I know I should't, if it happens this month the wee soul is probably still pickled but as Ronshar say's sometimes you just have to relax or you would go mad.

Did however manage to cover myself in glory at self same do, by drunkingly texting both my BF's to tell them about m/c's of which they were unaware , subsequantly ruining two completly innocent bystanders evenings and leading to lot's of we're completly shit friend recrimminations from both of them (not true as one has a 9 month old, the other has being trying to pull her wedding together in 6 months and I now live 250 miles away).

Ah well, evening ended with a 3 mile walk in 4 inch heels as there was not a taxi to be had in the bloody town, so it's fair to say that by the end of the night my feet hurt more than my heart .

Hi Wheely, nice to meet you and I hope you don't mind that I've kind of gatecrashed this thread.

hello all. well, CD2, rang dh from the loos at college in tears yesterday. still if nothing else it shows that the last mc hasnt fucked my body up that much!
i take baby asprin on the recommendation of our specialist in the 2nd half of my cycle

hi cheeses i had heard that too but my consultant is reluctant to prescribe aspirin til 12 weeks due to risk of bleeding that it presents. however, she says i will have to take it from then to try and keep the pre-eclampsia at bay.

I had that test too after mmc at 9 weeks long time ago (1st ivf) if you do have hughes syndrome you take baby aspirin until you get pg and then you may have to have heparin injections. I took baby aspirin until 20 weeks, as my ivf consultant said that some studies showed that it helped with implantation.

hi wheely i had tests for a blood clotting disorder, that can cause both pre-eclampsia/ premature births and early miscarriage. it also can cause a number of other non-obstetric symptoms, some of which i coincidentally do have. it's called hughes syndrome. but i don't have it - thankfully, as it's not that cracky, particularly the non-obstetric symptoms. i just had hoped that with the obstetric symptoms, treatment might help. seems it's just not to be at the moment but there is nothing underlying which is "wrong" exactly, so i guess it's just keep on trying.

Hi Santasmissus ! Sorry to meet again in such circumstances. Can I ask though - what were the tests you had ? I too (probably) had pre-eclampsia in my pg with dd and caused all sorts of problems so I have often wondered whether there is some link. I asked this at the EPU when I had the scan which confirmed my m/c and they poo pooed it but you wonder don't you ?

(I say probably because my BP didn't rise until 37 weeks by which time they had decided to bring dd out because she wasn't growing and hadn't been growing very well all the way along).

I can't believe people ask 'when are you having another one' - Actually I think people have stopped asking me given that dd is almost 3, I'm a SAHM and dd goes to pre-school so I think anyone who has any ounce of sense realises either I am a) a bit lazy or b) having a 'bit of trouble'. Funnily enough though one of bestest friends doesn't know - she is single but quite astute and doesn't ask about number 2 so I'm certain she's twigged and I wish she would ask so I could tell her but it never comes up in the conversation.