The Hut of Gl/Doom Part V- for the unapologetically despondent

at the stories on here. I am always gobsmacked that the infertility/gynae-things-going-wrong wards and clinics are always next to the antenatal and maternity wards and clinics. Why?!?!?
We didn't have NHS for fertility treatment, so avoiding the antenatal clinic, but they instead put the infertility stuff next to the creche.

Ladylush, that's reminded me. Whipps Cross also phoned me up at 13 weeks to tell me off for not having gone for my nuchal fold scan. When I said that miscarried the baby two weeks ago in their own hospital, she said 'well why haven't you sent us back your antenatal notes then'. Silly me - I should have had their complex internal admin at the top of my priority list.

GNNNNN. I kind of hope that all this shit (of which I've described only a small part) means I've got something great coming to me.

Well it's my birthday, 4am and I can't sleep. Had some pretty weird dreams, woke up, took my temp (am temping)and here I am. Was just reading some of the horror stories re. insensitive/inhumane clincians. Terrible. Ronshar - v glad you educated your dh

Maybe we should publish a collection of our hospital memoirs to educate the medical profession.

Popsy - what's the St Pancreas champagne bar like? Really want to go there.

Yes sort of. I didnt want to hit him to hard as needed said goolies in good working order. It would seem I could have hit him as hard as I liked as I'm still not bloody pregnant!

Yes they could all do with some sensitivity training. I was treated like I was about to die. They all tiptoed round me. The nurses couldnt get away fast enough. In the theatre the staff were messing about with each other saying they were going to leave a trainee to do my gases. If I hadnt been incapable I would have told them all to Fuck off.

Sorry makes me mad. Then DH came in and sat down and read the paper. Tosser. We are better now he has had some re-education

I loved the comment my MIL made. At least they have scrapped it all out my dear, you dont want horrible bits inside do you? Yep I wanted to punch her too. I didnt as had no fight left in me.

Thank you Pops. I would make a crap councillor as I like to talk too much. You know what I am like once I start thats it no stopping me. How was the Champers? I have decided no alcohol for me so I can dry from christmas and also because I really want it to work this month and if it doesnt then I want to fall off the wagon in style.

How was your birthday Duchess? Do we need to ask what you wished for.

herb hugs to you, what an awful experience - made worse by stupid people. I know there are staff shortages etc but there is no humane explanation for your treatment. Pregnancy and m/c are as much mental issues as purely physical but we are made to feel like cattle.
I was put in a room with some bint having an abortion. I am not against abortion but wanted to punch her lights out - one night stand apparently!
People don't get it do they? My mum said, "it was for the best" and most people were about to say you can just try again but I could see the words die on their lips. Girl at work attempted to tell me about her cravings today - I could feel the wave of venom in the look I gave her. What have I become?
Rant over - as are hopes for pg - af here.

oh my god so much to read and am late home and sure to get a divorce but just hadta write and say hi
and yes yes yes I agree with everything everyone is saying. I hate my nephews parties cos it is just parents and kids ranging from still in mummys tummy to 13 arghhhh
i cried at last one and made pregnant lady so uncomfortable she left ....well it was my bloody sister and newphew (that my sister didn't warn me hurt the most)
if anyone needs an up by the bootstraps message just ask ronny she is great at reminding me not to be so depressed and mean-spirited (should be a councillor!!)
I am ashaed to admit i spent yesterday evening back at St Pancra champagne bar - one glass led to two bottles and a rather large head ache and credit card bill this morning
I am so bad and yet it felt so bloody good!!!!!!!!!!!!
off home to make pita pockets and rescue marriange

My god, I got a phone call after my ERPC asking why I hadn't attended the nuchal scan despite me ringing them the day before the ERPC to tell them the baby was dead and therefore could they please note that I wouldn't be needing the scan due the next day. I thought that was bad but it's not a patch on yours Herby.

Oh! And then they sent my ante-natal forms the next week, which said 'congratulations on your pregnancy!'. Yeah. Thanks for that.

Oh, sheer incompetence. I stayed in overnight, and they wheeled a woman with a new born baby into the bed opposite me. Everyone gathered round, cooing. I thought I was going to die.

I complained to the powers that be, and the woman actually had the nerve to say 'we find some ladies like to see the foetus'. They didn't in fact ask at the time, however.

OMG Herbaceous Apart from the emoticons I am speechless

I've had two MCs at Homerton, and believe or not, it is vastly better than Whipps Cross. Admittedly, I haven't been into the maternity bit. Obviously!

At Whipps Cross there were blood stains on the floor, I was given the miscarried foetus to carry on my lap, and they forgot to test it.

The last one (mc at 11 weeks) had trisomy 13 (patau's syndrome), and the one before that (13 weeks) had trisomy 18 (edward's syndrome). Both just random 'old egg' problems, but still quite rare - about 1 in 200 chance. The mc in Jan 06 (11 weeks, into doctor's hand) wasn't investigated. It was at Whipps Cross, quite possibly the worst hospital in the Western World.

I've had every blood test under the sun, and our karyotyping done, and there's nothing wrong with either of us. I also have low FSH and LH, so there's no reason for not conceiving, either.

Does anyone find childrens' parties, etc, a problem? My sis, who I've ranted about before, has two boys, another baby on the way, and has complained that I'm not a good enough aunt because I don't go to parties enough. But I can't stand them! All those smug mothers, avoiding me like the plague (and me avoiding them)... I feel like I'm having my nose rubbed in it.

Sorry. I seem to have gone off on one. What I meant to say was that losing hope - through ftc or mc - drains the will to live in even the most hardy of people, and we shouldn't feel ashamed of feelings.

Luckily for me I have experienced all the many facets of the horror: sudden bleeding and passing the baby into a doctor's hand, finding out at 13 weeks that the baby had died, though it had been fine at 10 weeks, and now failing to conceive for a year. The main feeling at all times was the loss of hope, one of the hardest thing for anyone to deal with.

Triggles, are you me? I'm 42, have had four miscarriages in the past two years (three of them after 10 weeks), and have just been told by various 'experts' that I've just been very unlucky. But it's now been nearly a year since I last conceived, and while I know I should go to the GP and beg for Clomid, I just know he'll say 'what do you expect at your age'. Admittedly my periods are regular, I appear to be ovulating, but I want to do SOMETHING.

Perhaps I should just 'let go', grieve over the fact that I'll never have my own child, and move on. But I can't.

It's v hard when it's a close friend . I think they just expect us to move on after a while and I don't know about you but I just feel stuck and unable to move on. So after two years she probably thinks it's ok to behave completely normally inc. making reference to her pg, whereas it's still very painful for you.

For triggles, asgoodas, duchesse, erm myself and anyone else on the wrong side of 35. When as a student nurse I had a midwifery placement, I went to visit a lady who was 43 and 7 months pregnant. She had a 23 year old daughter, was with the same husband and had been trying to conceive ever since. She stopped trying about five years prior to getting pregnant and was completely shocked - but delighted once she got over the shock (as were her husband and daughter). I try not to think about how likely this is statistically - and besides I was told statistically I was very unlucky re. m/cs so maybe it can work the other way too