TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

@June1987 everyone has moved over to the new thread - see link above

Thank you everyone, sorry I posted then disappeared, I'm struggling a lot. Been to the GP today and he's signed me off until after the next scan (Friday 13th). I'm still really angry and haven't really cried, although I completely broke down at the doctors. I just feel like I've failed dh and my babies. The only positive is that my body know what to do in pregnancy as it clearly doesn't want to let them go. I feel very pregnant and no signs of miscarrying any time soon. Dh is hopeful that it means we might get a miracle next week 💔 in my heart I know it's over, I cannot allow myself to have any glimmer of hope and just want it over.

Thank you @nicola18737 how are you getting on?

How are you @ReeReeR? I'm debating going back to yoga, it really helped with my mindset last time but stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Are you back at work now, how are you finding it?

Sorry you find yourself here @MrsMc2019. Best wishes for your wedding! I bet you're so excited, I remember counting down the days to mine. I've actually been looking at some wedding pictures this morning, wish we could do it all again.

Thank you @mrslaurenbrown, smep got us our bfp this time and I would try it again, once we've got the all clear from the fertility team to try again.

Thank you @Pegase, how are you?

I'm sorry about your ectopic @LisaxMarie

I'm sorry you found yourself here too @June1987

How are you doing @Noisysparrows and @TwittleBee?

Sorry you find yourself here @Katie1109, with my first miscarriage I ovulated relatively quickly, a couple of days later than my usual. I was only mildly tracking my cm, not using opks or anything. I was lucky last time that my cycle regulated quickly. Fingers crossed its similar for you.

Thank you @Mumlili8. Oh my goodness, that must have been difficult news to hear. I admire you for being able to support your friend, I'm not sure I would be able to do that. I struggle with the unfairness and the lack of control, like we're all doing everything we can to bring a healthy baby into the world and are struggling and other people don't even need to try!

Right, I think I've tagged everyone...

Hope everyone is doing OK today xxx ❤️

@nicola18737 thank you for the info. I have started taking ovulation tests just to see. So far light lines so I know it’s not yet. I think if by my normal cycles it will be early next week.

Hope have people managed mentally? I mean I know I was only 6 weeks but it does consume me and it’s just a horrible feeling.

I’ve made a new one

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3683219-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-32-the-penguin-huddle?watched=1

Hopefully the link works

Yes @nicola18737 You get 40 pages I think and then they’re full

@Mumlili8 does it get full?

Someone needs to set up a new thread soon this one is almost full. I would do it but I can't remember how to add a link to the next one.

It is unfair @Mumlili8

I still remember my first pregnancy I was in the hospital for an appointment and there was a woman there pregnant with number five telling me she has regular growth scans because she smokes. But she was almost bragging saying her children are so big so what do they know?! It annoyed me she was so reckless but then what annoys me more now is if I’d had the extra care she had, like extra scans, which she only had cause she smoked, then my daughter might be here now. It is so rubbish!

Just do what is right for you with your friend and don’t be her birth partner unless you really want to!! Sounds like you’ve been a good friend.

I like this:

“Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.”

@ReeReeR your right it drives me mad. If I didn't love her and the children I would have walked away. It really painful as I'm usually her birth partner. I erks me she just dtd and she's up stick. Then he's like all omg I'm going to have another baby. She's never had a miscarriage ever. It seems so unfair that ladies like us have to go through what we have when we're all doing everything the healthy way. God must have a reason for all this but I'll be giggered if I can thathom it.

Oh @Mumlili8 I would feel the way you do too. It seems so unfair that some people seek to have healthy child after child without thinking about it and it particularly irks me when women don’t take care of themselves eg smoke and drink lots and who knows what else. It’s probably not a v nice thing for me to say but if it helps it doesn’t sound like she has got it all figured out!

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry hun sending you healing thoughts. I know no words i can say can possibly help. Sending you a virtual hand hold.

Welcome and sorry for your losses to all the new ladies

Well I had some unexpected news this morning my best friend us pregnant again with baby number 8. All but two of her children have different dads and this baby is just 6 weeks into her new relationship. She drinks and smokes heavily (and still is when pregnant, she has with all of them). I can't help but feel bitter towards her right now, I'm doing everything humanly possible to be the healthiest I can possibly be and I can't get passed 10 weeks. How is this fair!!! I usually ovulate cd10 but today is cd11 and not even a hint of ovulation and monitor is saying low, opks barely a line. Had a bit of a line cd7 or 8 but nothing since. Had some watery cm cd9 and cd10 but today back to thick creamy. Definitely have not ovulated as temp this morning was the lowest this cycle at just 36.11°c. I really don't know what the hell is going on. Starting to think about giving up entirely, 8 losses and now this. If there is really a god what the hell does he mean by this!!!

Thanks @nicola18737 Yes they would give me much closer care and more scans if I get pregnant again. It’s little consolation for what we’ve lost but might help set my mind at rest if I am pregnant again. I think these things do change us and hopefully for the better.

@Noisysparrows I am trying a new yoga class tonight so will see how that is otherwise I only have my Saturday class. I was going three times a week while still on mat leave. Haven’t tried hot yoga. I don’t know anywhere near me that does it.

I didn’t have what you’re experiencing but cycle is generally irregular since my first pregnant and I appear to be spotting or af has started today following mc last month

Hi all, I hope it is ok to join.
I had quite a bit of bleeding and cramps on the 21-22 of Auguts followed by a digital BFP on the 25th of August showing 1-2 weeks pregnant (it would make me 5 weeks that day counting from last period). I was so excited I honestly could not believe it. Since then last Thursday, Friday and Saturday and Monday I got BFN's. So what I was thinking was either implantation bleed or early pregnancy bleeding was actually a miscarriage. I am just devastated. My cycles were very regular prior to this, always bang on 27 days. I do not use OPKs or temping because feel like it is putting too much pressure on DTD and makes it a chore rather than enjoyable.
How soon after mc did you ovulate? I feel like I might be ovulating today, boobs got tiny bit sore and feeling some occasional twinge, but did not DTD yesterday, so that's chance possibly missed. Any success stories here immediately after very early mc?

@June1987 I'm sorry this has happened to you. I just had a MC, I finally passed everything yesterday. We are going to wait to TTC until I've had a period. As I understand it, the MC acts as a period and you should ovulate a couple of weeks after that, with a period 2 weeks after that. Have you taken a test to check that you're not still showing as pregnant from the MC?

Another yoga aficionado here @ReeReeR! I try to go twice a week minimum - although have cut out hot yoga while TTC but I love that too. Gives me a whole hour of total concentration on something totally non-babymaking-related - and thinking about what my body CAN do, not what it can't! I've been in a fitness slump since the mc but need to get back to the gym and pick up my running again (I'm rubbish at running but I do like a nice short evening trot while the weather is still nice enough!). Have been to a few barre sessions but WOW stairs are hard work the day after! 

@TwittleBee I know someone who did the Berlin marathon pregnant - as it happens on the day she didn't make it round as it was really hot and she stopped with about 5 miles to go but she did all the training. Was a strong runner anyway. Advice re exercise is that you can keep up with what you've done previously but be aware of your body. As long as you're not trying to make great leaps in how much exercise you do you should be fine - pregnancy can cause ligaments to soften and joints to be less stable so important not to overstretch yourself suddenly. But I'd definitely assume you can do it, you can usually defer a charity place until the following year if you have medical reasons.

Hello to all the new people - sorry you find yourselves here.

Am having a confusing time with my cycles - spotting started two weeks after previous bleed (?cp), lasted for 11 days without ever developing into proper af and then immediately had ewcm on day 12 🤨. My cycles are usually long and I wouldn't expect ovulation until cd20ish minimum so I have got no idea at all what's going on! (Obviously have dtd in case, but wtf). Anyone experienced anything like this? Am only two months post mc and possibly only a month after cp so it could all just be bonkers hormones but it's really frustrating!

Hi Everyone,

We have a DS who’s just turned 5 and I had a miscarriage at nearly 6 weeks just over a fortnight ago. I have finally stopped bleeding and we are desperate to start trying again. Any ideas of when I will ovulate or if u need a period or if the miscarriage acts as a period?

I’m so worried this just won’t happen for us again. I don’t know where to start.

Currently ttc #1 after ectopic surgery in July, right Fallopian tube removed. Currently 10 dpo and symptom spotting like mad 🤦‍♀️ Over the last week had a couple of days of pain in lower left abdo. Head aches, sore boobs and bloating. AF due 12th September x

@VenusStarr so sorry to hear your news.

Regarding sex after miscarriage, they recommend 2 weeks wait so your cervix closes up as I understand it. That is to avoid infection although I am just over two weeks past and cervix still a bit sore.

@nicola18737 I have found the Miscarriage Association website to be a real help in terms of well-researched advice

@nicola18737 I'm glad its over for you. I look forward to following your ttc adventure and hopefully we will.both have good news soon xx

@ReeReeR I have no words to convey what I feel and think about what you've been through, unlucky just doesn't begin to describe it. I have really been affected by your experience. Have they told you they'll monitor you lots next time just so your mind is kept at rest?

I know my experience is nowhere near as bad as what you have went through, but what I have taken from this is that I've had a horrible experience that has grown me as a person. I will be able to relate to people who have been or are miscarrying. I've had another experience that's changed me as a person and it's not nice but it's all on the path to shaping me and my sensitivity to others.

I've had some good news, I've passed the sac. So now I just need to wait for my period before we can start trying again. I'm so relieved, I feel free.

@Babbabump I am in the exact same position as you. I have had medical management which failed and I'm at the hospital now to see what the next stage is. However, before they see me, they wanted me to have a scan, I just had it and I've passed everything. I am SO relieved!!

I passed a strange looking clot this morning, but I had no pain and no gushing blood but I daren't hope it was it.

Anyway, we want to try again asap and from what I had read, it's best to wait to have a period so you can flush everything away before trying again. Once that's happened we are going to start on the Sperm Meets Egg Plan.

Oh my god I totally did not mean to tag you at all @strawberrye !!! I don't even know how I managed that as I tagged @MrsMc2019 !?

Hello all :)

Please can I join in? I have a beautiful dd already and am currently awaiting surgical management of a missed miscarriage (I did have medical management but it failed).

I am finding a lot of conflicting advice as to when to begin trying to conceive again?

Does anyone have any advice?

I have had my womb and ovaries checked and there are no problems :)

I am 30 though and its been nearly 10 years since I was pregnant with my daughter.

Thank you :)

BTW did you tag strawberrye by accident? I worried thinking she was back and I missed the post