Choose the sex of your baby?

I think it's perfectly natural to want children of both genders and I find it difficult reading criticisms. It is clear that you are just trying to tip the balance and I wish you lots of luck with it. Those parents who have chosen extreme methods of selection are giving very innocent parents a bad rap.

I would suggest though that you think about the prospect of having another DS and try to picture the future with three lively lads. I have 2 DS 4 and 22 months.

2 Boys are wicked fun, mine are 4 1/2 and 21months both completely different personalities and seem much more loving than my friends with girls. Thye also seem simplier and less complicated than girls. Mine both get on well and spend hours teasing each other and gigling. My DH is very blokey and plays rugby so I have a feeling my house will always b full of boys!

Good luck and congratulations!

oh please keep us posted susan as i saw that site recently. Although i am expecting ds2 at the moment so wont be trying it any time soon but would be good to hear from someone who has. Perhaps having two children will put me off having any more but you never know-wots it like having two boys im sared witless never been in a houseful of boys?

I dont think its anything wrong with tipping the balance in favour of having a girl personally just as long as you keep an open mind and dont build your hopes up.When your trying to concieve and use an ovulation calender to work out your fertile dates you are just tipping the balance in your favour of falling pregnant sooner. I think we all know the most important thing is the baby is healthy.

Popi is right. Women have XX chromosomes, so the egg is always X (girl). Men have XY chromosomes, so it is the man's sperm that determines sex of the baby.

X sperm are larger, swim slower, but live longer. Y sperm are smaller, swim faster, but die sooner.

So what you need to do is try to make sure that Y sperm that get there fast don't have an egg to fertilize, and die before the egg shows up.

That is, make love 3-4 days before ovulation.

[DD was conceived 4 days before ovulation.]

SusanL,
a very good read is 'taking charge of your fertility' by Tony Weschler and among other things she explains what women can do to increase the chances of conceiving a girl or a boy. In summary: if you want to have a boy, you should have intercourse on your Peak Day, as well as the following day; if you want to maximize your chances for a girl, then you should have intercourse several days (4-2) before your Peak Day but preferably not closer than 2 days before ( this is why conceiving girls is trickier). All these require charting your BBT and testing cervical fluid.

Instead of giving your money to 'experts' to tell you what to do, buy the book and you'll find out for yourself how everything around fertility works, really simply things we take for granted.

i feel your reasons are pure and you would love your child no matter what!

i do however have a problem with gender selection as a whole......as already stated some people would use it to 'decide' wether to have an abortion or not.

good luck!

I too have no problems with people stating a preference for gender. I have two fantastic boys and am currenty pregnant with dc3. Would be very surprised if it's a girl as I've always thought if we had another it would be a boy but will be thrilled with either. Just hoping for a healthy baby like all other pregnant mums out there.

I do have a problem with these sites charging money claiming they can provide 95% accuracy on gender selection. As far as I'm aware the dates they provide you with are standard dates for all ie not tailored round individuals ovulation. So I can't see how this can sway gender. Also op said they would get a refund if they didn't get a girl - how could you prove you followed the plan properly. They could just say you must not have followed the proper dates. It seems like these sites are taking advantage IMO.

Good luck to op anyway.

i'm with you, SusanL but would never have paid for it...thats someone taking advantage of you IMO. but anyway...

aside: find it interesting that the support for gender preference thing (on this thread so far, anyway!) has all been about mothers of boys wanting a girl next time. wonder if whyowhy has a girl already ...

Well Done SusanL, seems lots of unfair critism about this. I also have two goregous boys who are my world. My dh and I have always talked about having 3 children if we can afford it, we can't really but with DS1 starting school soon we have decided to go for it (wink)

Anyway we're doing the ovulation thing to see if we could have a girl next time, not bothering with pH thing as I'm to lazy but charting and using LH strips. We're not doing this for any other reason other than we want another baby and if we can swing the balance and maybe have a girl that will be great, if it doesn't work and we have a boy thats whats meant to be! (grin)

I love boys and can't really see myself with a girl but in a very rugby house it would be nice to have a girl.

So good for you SusanL and please post to say how you get on.

I also have 2 boys and if I could sway it naturally to have a girl this time it would be fantastic but I'm 38, and this I feel is a now or never situation so I'm not intending on getting too hung up on it. I'd love to hear about how you get on next week!

And by the way, the point I was making about the soft furnishings was that for some people, gender preference is not a big deal, just something they fancy trying. I get a bit fed up of people criticising on these posts about how terrible it is to have a preference - it doesn't necessarily mean you would be devastated and not love a baby of one gender, of course the most important thing is a healthy, happy baby. Having had a mc before ds1 that is why I, personally, don't really have a gender preference. But I understand why others do.

And apparently there are some men that have a disproportionate amount of one gender sperm or the other so as the previous poster said, even if you follow the timing / ovulation method there are of course no guarantees - all you are doing is attempting to influence it in one direction or the other. there is also some research about making your vaginal mucous more unfavourable to the passage of sperm which would also have the effect of making it more likely for a bigger, stronger female sperm to get through. You would need to check but i think it was something to do with the pH and eating lots of dairy food.

Of course you have to remember that both these methods of swaying towards a girl are actually discouraging conception as a whole so you may find it takes longer to get pregnant - I wouldn't recommend it if you have any sort of fertility issues or want to get pg quite quickly. It took me a long time to concieve the first time and by the second time (quick) I had become very adept at timing with ovulation so it makes sense that I had 2 boys as both were conceived bang on ovulation.

SusanL, try looking for info on the Billings Method. Its a way of working out your own cycle to predict ovulation and can be used as a contraceptive or to get pregnant.

(It is quite technical and you have to map your cycle of a few months but it apparently has a very high success rate if it is used properly).

One of the findings was that generally speaking if you want to conceive a girl have sex a few days prior to ovulation, and for a boy at the time of ovulation. Basically 'girl' sperm last longer and 'boy' sperm swim faster. Fairly high success rate - 90% or something.

BUT there is absolutely no guarentee because there is no way of knowing because you can't know what your DH's sperm are like IYSWIM.

So you have to be sure you want another baby before proceeding because it could still be a boy....

Comparing soft furnishings and babies... Now I've heard it all.

If I wanted a specific pair of curtains... and when I got to the shop, they didn't have the ones I wanted, I would be disappointed. I would probably buy a different pair, and every time I opened and closed those curtains, I would think about the pair I wanted but couldn't have.

If that is the comparison, then I stand by my thinking that having a gender preference is sad.

It's human nature to have preferences - doesn't mean you will necessarily be devastatated if your preference doesn't work out. I think that is very different from actual gender selection (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis) and cultural extremes where babies would be terminated for being the "wrong" sex. They are very extreme cases and pretty rare in this country - I don't think it is fair to tar the OP with that brush as that is not what she was saying at all. I personally don't have a gender pref and have been v happy to get 2 boys, but I probably would try and influence towards a girl next time just to try out the other flavour so to speak - I would in no way care or be upset if it was a boy though. If you go out to buy new curtains you will have a preference for the colour you fancy to match your sofas maybe - doesn't mean you are going to start tearing the shop apart if they don't have the right colour!

SusanL , I have no idea whether this method will work. I have heard that altering Ph can make a difference and that there are certain dates on which preovulation that is it is more likely to concieve a girl.

By the way, you might find you get a number of negative responses on your desire to 'choose the gender' but I am with you all the way. I have two wonderful boys whom I love to death, but if i could guarantee a girl I would have another one tomorrow.
Good luck

wannabe, that is awful about that couple wanting a termination if it was not a boy. this whole gender preference saddens me.

gender preference is worrying. if you feel strongly about one gender over the other, enough to try different methods, pay for advice, change your diet etc to get one gender over another, then if it doesn't work, there will be disappointment.

There should NEVER be disappointment over the gender of a baby. It's sad

you can try all this stuff, but i don't think having a girl can be guaranteed by any means