TTC First Baby Thread 18 Already!

Aww well BFN for me today at 10/11dpo 🤷🏼‍♀️ hope other people have some better news this weekend ☺️ x

Morning ladies, just checking in but this thread moves so fast I can't keep up!! You all like to talk! 😂

@Lola871 between now and Thursday seems like quite a big range. Do you know what your usual luteal phase is? Don't give up hope though- cramping is common in early pregnancy and can be a sign of implantation!

@Fivebyfive2 So pleased to hear its all going well. Have you got any early scans booked?

@FlapJackered That must have been so hurtful about your friend not telling you. Did she eventually tell you herself?

On the chat of who to tell after mc I told my three best friends who hadn't even known I was pregnant. It was such a huge relief to tell them and they were such a massive support that I know next time I'll tell them I'm pregnant straight away in case it happens again. I have found it impossible to talk about with other people though (apart from mum and DH). I will sit there thinking it but I just can't seem to find the words to say it. Interestingly I went on a girls weekend with some friends where there was loads of talk about pregnancy and babies and I wanted to say it- the same weekend my friend did some reiki on me as she is training and she said there was a blockage round my throat chakra which can mean there is something you want to say but can't! Obviously she had no idea what I had been thinking all weekend and I was like woooaahhhh!!

I've gone full hippy this month girls- bought some fertility crystals and have done a couple of visualisations holding them and have don't my two sessions of accupuncture 😂. At this point I'll try anything!!

7DPO for me today and the madness is slowly creeping up on me.

Morning ladies, hope everyone has a nice bank holiday weekend planned. I've woken up with mild cramps, so I think AF is coming. Due any time between yesterday and Thursday. Was thinking about testing this morning but will probably hold off now and see if AF arrives over the weekend.

@ELW85 😂 good idea!
Weirdly the opk was negative yesterday until the evening and then positive again this morning? Not sure what to think, ah well we will just keep DingTD and keep our fingers crossed!
Good luck with resisting poas! At least you have some distractions this weekend.

@Dollywilde - I’m in the same boat; awake at 5.45am as if it’s work. WHY?! DH is en route to Starbucks so we can have coffee in bed, haha!

@FlapJackered - congratulations on your anniversary!! I hope he gets you some flowers :) offer to book the restaurant yourself and just make sure it’s your favourite and he pays, haha!

Re: the OPK/temp thing, OPKs can also catch the tail end of a surge if it’s short, which might mean your temp has gone up as well as having a positive OPK if that makes sense?
Mine were a bit weird this month; positive OPK on 13, temp rise on 14 so I can only presume it was a short surge in between!

@Marleym28 - I think a couple of us are due to test Monday. It’ll take all my will power to not do it today or tomorrow though...

Do you think opks or temp is more reliable? I have just got a positive opk but my temp is already high, above cover line? It was also high yesterday before the positive. I did wake up feeling really hot both days. Is it possible to ovulate before a positive opk?

@Tashdreams eesh cd57? I am sorry I have been there with the long cycles and it isn't fun! Do you think you have ovulated yet?

@cupcakesandglitter glad to hear your mum is feeling better.
God those dreams are so cruel aren't they.

@ELW85 I am so jealous, I would love to go to Harry Potter studios!
It's mine and my DHs 2 year anniversary this weekend, 2 years married, 12 together. He says he hasn't booked a restaurant yet 🙈... romance is truly dead 😂

@Kiza I am totally with you. I have told more people than I would have naturally wanted to tell because I don't want to contribute to the stigma around it. It was very hard to do, so I understand why women don't talk about it. It is hard to deal with people's pity. My best friend didn't tell me she was pregnant as she didn't want to upset me, she told everyone else and I heard it from another friend, and that hurt quite a lot even though it came from a place of love on her part. People just don't know how to react.

Morning all! Good luck testing today @flossy12! I’m awake at 6.30 for no apparent reason... of course this happens on a Saturday as opposed to during the week when I have to be up at this hour...

@Marleym28 testing in the morning! Getting very excited/nervous now

@FlapJackered urghhh yes! The age old 'well at least you can conceive, you know you're both working in that dept' comment after MC. Doesn't stop me feeling a failure for not being able to keep hold of the pregnancy though. I know rope mean well but jeez sometimes I wonder where their common sense is.

You're all totally right - I was amazed at how many relatives and colleagues had gone through MCs when I told them, again I've been open about it, clearly stating that I didn't need sympathy (that would've made things worse somehow) but that I didn't want it to be a taboo subject amongst people I'm close to 😊

CD57 tomorrow & counting... 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Hi all just checking in.
CD16 2dpo (which already feels like it's been ages).
Trying to keep busy and ignore the TTW as much as possible.

Anyone due to test soon?

Thanks for thinking of me @MrsH497 ❤️ mums on the mend thank god and is back home.. I'm okay, I had the most beautiful dream last night that I got a blazing BFP and it was so perfect. Woke up and felt pretty shit, I've only had super squinter BFPs and even then they didn't last very long. God knows how long we're going to have to wait for DH's SA again. Feeling pretty defeated!!! How're you? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 nice to hear from you, how lovely that you're starting to show!! I can't wait to have a bump 😂😂 glad all is going well xx

@MrsEG god people can be so insensitive!!! I'm sure I've read somewhere that there's really not much we can do to 'lose' it, it's one of those things. Hope you're doing well xxx

@FlapJackered I'm with you, I would've lost it a long time ago!!! Xxx

@MrsEG - this weekend DH is taking me to the Harry Potter studios, so it’s going to be an amazing weekend by all accounts! Just getting to spend time with him is magical (I’m sounding soppy, but he’s really been looking after me and supporting me) :)

@Kiza agree. We've come on so much taking about smear tests, our bodies in general, grief but miscarriage is still taboo. As you say we keep pregnancy a secret until 12th week but means we then do risk feeling alone.
Love to you all x

Of course totally respecting women and partners who would prefer to grieve in private. I just hope that as time goes on and we share more then more women will know they have the choice rather than feeling it's a taboo subject x

@MrsH497 absolutely ❤️

@MrsEG very true!
@Fivebyfive2 it is so good having people here that understand, I think I would have gone crazy without you ladies on this thread ❤️

Sorry don't know all your names to tag you in but sorry to hear of all your losses too.
I made a conscious decision to be open about mine from the start (I'm a psychotherapist so big believer in encouraging gentle discussion if people are able to) and found the same as many of you ladies. Quite a few of my friends and work colleagues had MC that I never knew about as they kept it private.
When we talked about it most said that society encourages us to keep the pregnancy 'secret' until 12 weeks in case of mc. However I feel that means we grieve in isolation when instead we can seek comfort and support from other women who have been through similar experiences. 💜

@MrsEG, good point!! We'll be pros at it 😜

I cannot believe how quick this thread fills up these days. We're like a proper little community!! It's ace I think xxx

@FlapJackered @MrsH497 @Fivebyfive2 Glad it’s not just me!! My sister made the good point though that it sets us up for when we do have babies - she tells me that’s when you get totally unsolicited ‘advice’ left right and centre!! So at least we’re developing our stiff upper lips now in preparation!!

@FlapJackered yup there is no silver lining. Yes we got pregnant but it sucks beyond belief that we had a MC I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

@MrsEG @Fivebyfive2 you ladies are fab you really are x

@MrsH497 so many people have said that to me 'at least you know you can get pregnant' as if that makes it better. I know it comes from a good place but there isn't really a silver lining to a mc, it is just totally shit.

@MrsEG I can't believe someone said that to you! Someone said to me 'I bet it was your thyroid problem, apparently that causes multiple miscarriages' really helpful! 🙄

@Fivebyfive2 Yep I had that one too! It just boggles the brain sometimes that folk even think to ask - but like you say; they only mean well. And I agree that 90% of people have been fabulous with us. I found it nice to speak to other friends who had been through it, especially those who quickly went on to get pregnant again!

@MrsH497 Ugh yeah I hate that one too I get ‘Well at least you’re nice and fertile’ - no harm is meant but it’s the WORST isn’t it!!

@MrsEG, cross post! I actually had a lady ask me if I think my weight had something to do with it (I'm skinny but not underweight or anything?!) It's bizzare. Most people have been so lovely though, makes it feel worth it.

@MrsEG noooo someone seriously said that?! Like you really needed someone to say that. I've had 1 person say well at least you know you can get pregnant.

How are you doing?
@cupcakesandglitter checking in with you lovely how's your mum?