TTC First Baby Thread 18 Already!

@1990shopefulftm - no worries at all! I think it’s a good resource, especially as it’s tailored to your cycles instead of the generic 28 days!
I’ve made a pact with myself that I’m only going to test on the day AF is due (if I get that far!)

@ELW85, thank you for sharing that calculator, i certainly tested a bit too early at least the first test i took last cycle so will try to follow that calculator this time. Although i've got 15 cheapy sticks hidden in a drawer so it'll be difficult.

Can I join??

TTC #1
Age 29 nearing 30
Cycle 4
DPO 2 (according to my app - I forgot to start back temping last month)
MC 2 years ago when we weren't TTC - makes me so worried about future pregnancies.

DTD Friday, Saturday and Sunday as DP works away from home so we needed to make the most of it. Knowing me I am going to start symptom spotting now during my TTW. It is such a pain TTC.

Fingers crossed for BFP for everyone soon.

@LikeTheFruit - be kind to yourself, we all do it :) and I think that calculator is helpful; it keeps me grounded.

@ValidUser - great news on 2 x follicles!! And for the week off :)

Thanks @Bettythecat @cupcakesandglitter @ELW85 and @ValidUser for being so kind. If I'm honest I'm more annoyed at myself for testing than disappointed it was BFN. Especially after using that website about - less than 50% change of a true negative.

@ValidUser oooh could be twins!!

@LikeTheFruit - sorry to hear about your BFN but this pregnancy test calc shows that (from what I remember) about 80% of people who tested on 9DPO got a false negative. I’m sure you can tailor it to your cycle too for a more accurate view :)

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/pregnancy-test-calculator.php

@Bettythecat - you’re more than welcome, and I totally hear you about the nervousness for going to the docs if they aren’t able to address things.

We all put ourselves through so, so much; from the anxiety of POAS to never ending internet research and (I’m speaking for myself here) convincing ourselves we’re broken. I did about 3 hours of reading this morning and I’ve convinced myself I’ve got low progesterone.
It would be so nice to just relax and enjoy it but honestly, that’s the hardest thing to do.

I’ve got nothing but love and respect for you ladies and what you balance on a daily basis.

I don’t think this stuff will necessarily get easier, but we WILL get there.

Sorry for the BFN @LikeTheFruit maybe wait a few days xxx

@Bettythecat oh god I get that definitely!! We got married, and saved bloody damn hard to be able to get our family home. I was actually on Mn before we bought a house because I was ready to start TTC then, but DH was adamant we needed our own house first (sensible and I'm glad we did, but I almost wished we just started trying then 😂) everything in my life has been sorted so that I could be in the position to have kids. God I know exactly how you feel, so thankful to have you all here x

@cupcakesandglitter I know how you feel lovely. I'm exactly the same feeling like it's all on hold. I've always wanted a family that's really been the one constant I've known for sure my whole life. I did it all "right" to get myself into a place where I'm ready and can support a baby and now it just won't happen and it feels so empty.

@LikeTheFruit Sorry about your BFN 😟. Im also annoyed with myself for testing too. 9DPO but only have a 11 day LP generally so would have thought it would have caught it for me if I was pg. I'm also feeling so emotional the last few days. Have been short with DH all day, cried yesterday and feel so so flat and knackered today it feels like it must be af. I'm never normally this bad though so don't know what to think about it all. 😭

Sorry that everyone seems to be having such a touch time at the moment.

I stupidly did a FRER this morning at 9/10dpo which was bfn. So annoyed at myself. Need to give any remaining tests to FH to hide. Boobs are sore, but very spotty today so guessing this is all pre-AF. Feeling very tired ab yesterday burst into tears after trying to make tea and coffee with cold water. AF due fri/sat so have promised myself to not POAS until 1st June - that's if AF doesn't come first

Thankyou @Bettythecat @FlapJackered interesting reading your last post Betty, I was reading something yesterday about TTC and depression and it did resonate with me for the same reasons. I don't go out, or drink, I don't want to see anyone or speak to anyone, I don't care about my job anymore either. Brings the money in so that's enough really - i feel like my life is on hold until I have kids, almost like that's what'll complete me and it's what's missing from my house and relationship. It's torture isn't it 😩

Thankyou @LokiCat ❤️ xxx

@cupcakesandglitter oh I'm so sorry to hear how your DH has been feeling. I'm glad you guys had an open conversation. Men do seem to hold their feelings in a lot and sometimes suppress their own thoughts to put us first, which can be so unhealthy. It's good that you can both take steps forward together. Best of luck to you both xx

@ELW85 thank you 💜 yes maybe I could explain it's making me feel so low but i don't want to waste their time or open myself up and get turned away.

@Kiza I'm sorry to hear about your mcs and your struggle too and thank you for understanding. It's such a tough journey and it's so hard to know where to turn.

@cupcakesandglitter poor you and poor DH. It's such a painful and emotional process for all involved and it's probably massively knocked his confidence. I'm so pleased you have managed to speak about it before he got himself even more worked up in his head.

@FlapJackered That's the hardest part isn't it- the not knowing. I know I don't want a life without a family so if I was never going to be able to have a natural family I would adopt for sure. I just don't know what we would do if we had to go down the ivf route- financially it would be incredibly hard and I think it's probably very difficult to manage with work too. It's just so painful that every month you have to do all the right things then be positive and hopeful and allow yourself to dream only to have the hopes dashed for yet another month and have to start the whole exhausting thing agains. I just feel in limbo- my life is on hold for this. I barely drink anymore, I don't go out partying anymore, frankly I don't care much about my job either. I just want to start my family.

Thankyou @Lottiepink @Kiza @MrsH497 @ELW85 fingers crossed we can move forward - I don't ever want him to feel like her has to leave me because of the situation, I won't let him. I've spoke to him re preseed and we've agreed to try it as a last resort (even when we SMEP I'm usually okay - mini cupcake is always ready to go 😂)

Thanks @FlapJackered I couldn't tell you 😩 the doctor was laughing throughout the whole appointment. He said numbers were okay, motility was low - DH had a virus maybe a month or so before and the GP said that probably affected them 🙄 I then asked about morphology, and again he said it was low, but then said "you know, it only takes one to do the job so when you've got millions it's a bit weird to start focusing on one or two" .... I was a bit gobsmacked, but we can't really do anything until his next SA I guess. I'm gonna get him started on CoQ10 as well as making sure he is taking pregnacare religiously. I'm glad GPs aren't worried about your DHs number, I'm guessing if there's a lot then motility won't really matter but honestly I have no idea, and I don't think I'll know until we're referred either xx

@cupcakesandglitter - so sorry to hear that DH felt like that and that you had the night that you did, but it sounds like you got to a really positive place with it, and have .org got something to focus on to take you forwards together xx

Oh @cupcakesandglitter love your DH bless him. I do think men get awfully forgotten in this process. I've really tried to make sure DH gets as much support as me during the MC.

Glad he opened up to you even though it took an argument. Sending you loads of love and hugs xx

@cupcakesandglitter I am so sorry. It is so hard to know what the DHs are thinking half the time but it's so good that it is all out in the open now. What was the actual result if you don't mind me asking? My DHs morphology was fairly low too but his sperm count is high so the doctors didn't seem worried. I am hoping when we get our referral appointment the consultant will be able to tell us a bit more.
I have got DH on coq10, zinc and a conception vitamin which he grumbles about but I am hoping will help with the morphology!
We use preseed as I am not sure I produce enough cm all the time. Apparently it can't hurt.

@Bettythecat It is so hard isn't it. I am finding it harder with every cycle that goes by. I just wish I had a crystal ball and could see if it was going to happen as I think either way I could come to terms with it.

@cupcakesandglitter so sorry to hear your partner had been holding that in for so long but that in the end he was able to share it with you. It's such a difficult journey and I'm very much for changing diet and supplementing with vits/mineral if need be.
There's tons of research now to substantiate the claims so worth giving a go!
I also agree with only using lube if need be (I had to near the end of our last fertile window 🤪 we had been trying the SMEP method and whereas the mister had no problems I was lagging 😆🤦🏼‍♀️

Aww @cupcakesandglitter that's so sad, good though that you both got everything off your chest. Fingers crossed now you both know where you are with everything it's a positive step in the right direction 😘

@orangeloo definitely keep on top of him for it - it took DH 5 months to finally get it done, but it's reassurance regardless of the results. I've read it's easy to improve sperm too, tried to explain that last night, it's a very hard situation to be in I guess. I'm glad your BIL has been able to have kids naturally, I'm sure you and your DH will be fine it's just pushing him to find out I guess. Good point re the pre seed, I don't ever need lube so I'm going to leave it for the time being xx

Thanks @Delilah7 baby steps (ironically) but we're getting there xxx

@cupcakesandglitter very glad you and OH have sat down and he's opened up. First steps hun ❤️

@cupcakesandglitter that is really sad. Feel for you both, but it's good you've now talked it out. I'm currently trying to get my DP to go for SA as both his father and brother had motility issues and quite frankly it's already a struggle and I'm dreading the result so honestly, thank you for sharing and wish you all the best. I've read studies that supplements really can help with sperm issues and diet and exercise, so definitely worth a go. Also I should say his brother now has 2 kids naturally. Re preseed it may not hurt but I did read nothing is as good as natural fluids so should only be used when lube is needed. Maybe pay extra attention to your ewcm and make so you dtd whenever you have it. Good luck x

@Bettythecat @Dollywilde @Kiza I'm with you guys, it is so disheartening 😩

So I had a horrible evening last night, followed by a (I think) BFN this morning. I say think because I now have the ability to make up lines with my eyes just because I know where they should be 🙄

DH and I had a massive argument, because his mood has been really miserable. Sat down to talk it out because he's completely shut me out since his SA results. Turns out he was thinking about leaving me so that I could move on and have babies with someone else, and that he can't look at me because he knows how much pain he causes me every month. I was very honest and actually as much as every bone in my body wants a baby, I have to remember that it's not an entitlement and I'm not guaranteed to ever have kids - he's enough for me, and if we can't have kids then so be it. It was so heartbreaking to see him break down and sob, I know he feels exactly how I've been feeling and actually I think men don't often know how we feel, so I'm glad I guess that he understands. I've put a plan of action for us to absolutely try everything before we go back to the GP to refer us. We've both got some weight to lose, can definitely eat healthier and actually remember to take our vitamins.

I'm also thinking about buying preseed - I'm thinking if the number is okay but the motility isn't great then maybe preseed will help? Does anyone have any idea?

Thanks if you've made it this far, just really needed to get it off my chest.