Crushing disappointment 2

Feeling so deflated today. This whole journey is just becoming so draining. This was only my first month on Clomid but I was stupidly hopeful that I may have been lucky enough to get a bfp. AF arrived today, two days late. I'm just so tired of it all, when I first started ttc I was so positive and hopeful but as times gone by I feel like each month I'm losing more and more hope. To make matters worse if this treatment doesn't work in 6 months the next stage would be IVF which OH won't do as he feels like it's too 'forced'. Great. Sorry for the rant but just need to get it off all off my chest

Hi @MummyBearBoo I really hope you are doing okay and are in good hands.

Thank you both I have a number for a genetic counsellor but I need to get a bit better physically first I think! Xx

That all sound awful for you, have you been offered any kind of counselling to help you process it all?

I've just got out of hospital today the placenta didn't come out properly so they tried for hours to get it out but it got stuck in my cervix so eventually I had to go the Theatre -for the TFMR I declined pain relief coz I wanted to be able to go home that was a mistake it was so painful that I was delirious and being sick! I lost so much blood that I had to have more blood transfusions!
I had to stay in for 4 days and they've let me come out today but my O2 levels in my blood are still low but they've given me iron and told me to rest!
It depends how my bleeding goes now but the scarring in my womb can make the placenta attach to it so it will not come out properly so they've recommended that we do not to try again naturally in case we have to have another TFMR as my womb couldn't take it and I don't think I can either- but we can't realistically afford PGD so we may not be able to have our my much longed for 2nd baby😭😭 xxx

Thanks for asking @TheChineseChicken but not great tbh - I'm coping and keeping it together in front of DD but that's about it - I've got the second part of the TFMR procedure tomorrow and after the experience I had last time I'm totally dreading it -I had a really bad reaction to the tablet(s) and had to stay in all day and overnight! I'm hoping it doesn't disrupt the vessels that caused me internal bleeding for 4 weeks last time for which I had to have 3 emergency blood transfusions! 2 TFMRs in 1 and a 1/2 years with added complications is really hard!! Xx

They've called to say I've got to go in tomorrow! Yet another day of being pregnant knowing my baby is poorly!!! Then back in Thursday for the 2nd part! Xx

Thanks all for your kind words think I'll be starting the TFMR process tomorrow. They couldn't do anything any sooner as the results came on a Friday - I'll be 13 weeks tomorrow I hate still being pregnant knowing my little boy is still growing but that I can't keep him! 😭 xx

@MummyBearBoo I'm devastated for you...please be kind to yourself and take as much time as you want to heal, so so sorry 💗

@MummyBearBoo I'm so sorry x

@MummyBearBoo I'm so sorry to hear such awful news. My heart goes out to you.I can't imagine what you are going through but don't give up. I really hope you get your happy ending.

I'm utterly heartbroken my little boy, again, is too poorly for me to proceed with this pregnancy I will be needed another TFMR - he had to genetic conditions which would make him too poorly!! Not sure yet if I'm strong enough to try again after this my second TFMR -good luck to everyone else xx

Hope it works out for you @liveinhope100
Thanks for you wishes guys I'm absolutely terrified!!! X

@pinkstar01 Thank you. I've been an emotional wreck since taking my medication. I suffer from anxiety and depression and apparently Clomid can make this worse but I only have to take them for 5 days a month so i'm feeling better now!

Got a scan next week to see if the meds are working. Then I may have to get a trigger shot to get me to ovulate so will see what happens then.

How are you getting on?

@MummyBearBoo so far so good, realy hoping you get positive news with the other results! Keep us posted ❤️

@liveinhope100 nice to hear from you and sorry about your loss, how are you getting on?

So I had a 1/100 chance of Down Syndrome coz my last baby had this and a lower risk of Edwards and Pataus and the results came back clear for these - but the biggest hurdle is the results I get on Friday/Monday where I have a 50% chance of the baby being too ill to keep!! Found out it's a boy which is what I thought coz last time I was having a boy (who I had to lose) I was sick loads same as this time - whereas with my DD I wasn't sick at all! Xx

@codenameduchess -I feel the same I just want a healthy baby two girls or one of each would be nice!! Xx

Not at all @MummyBearBoo I was really happy when the midwife said 'it's a girl' when dd was born, hadn't realised that I had been picturing a girl until then!
I'm not really bothered with this one, I'd like one of each but also 2 girls would be nice as I know what to do. Dh and dd have both said they're hoping for a girl though.

@TheChineseChicken I know what you mean about the sick, it always seems to come from my throat and it's weirdly dry. Or if I've not eaten it's like beaten egg whites 😷

I was really glad I had a DD first too- if this baby is ok I don't mind what it is as long as it's healthy I just didn't really want two boys does that sound really bad?!xx

@MummyBearBoo yes this is my first! Everyone was adamant it was a boy, all our family members and friends. They were certain! They were so shocked when we told them girl haha but I’m SO pleased!