TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Ugh. I'm sorry to come on and moan but I'm feeling so low today.
AF is about a week away. I just feel like it won't be a bfp and if it is there are so many hurdles to get through.
I've not helped myself either as I was meant to be losing weight.

Hi @DuvetCaterpillar and welcome. Sorry you've found yourself here, you've had a rough journey so far but don't give up hope. This is a really supportive group and no question is too daft so pull up a chair and hopefully you won't need to be here for long x

@DuvetCaterpillar

It's a lovely thread. Please do join us, but I'm sad that you find yourself here, if that makes sense.

It sounds like you have had a really bumpy road. Nothing ever works out the way you expect. I hope you have some good support around you an it sounds like the counselling is a good outlet. Is it something you can keep going to?

Xxx

Hello, please may I join the penguin huddle? I've been lurking here a bit but not quite picked up the nerve to join in before. I'm so sorry for all of your losses - it's the club no one wants to join.

I'm 34, TTC #1 since Sept 2018, and had an ectopic pregnancy and left tube removal in Feb 2019. We're trying again, but no luck so far. I've been rather low this last fortnight or so, because we started trying about nine/ ten months ago - had things just worked out differently and I'd conceived first try (like so many other people seem to) I would already be holding our son or daughter. Instead I'm a tube down, heartbroken, desperately missing my little one and fearful it may never happen at all for us, and that I'm too old and we've missed our chance.

Am just going into the start of yet another TWW and just can't quite see the point of it all at the moment. Plus I entirely agree with the poster who said she's scared to be pregnant and scared not to be - it's terrifying either way, isn't it?

I've had some counselling through work which I've found unexpectedly helpful, but it's uncovered how lonely this all feels for me, hence joining the huddle. Can I pull up an ice block or something?

Evening ladies.

I did POAS and BFN so at least Its not like last month. So back to CD1 I am. I really don't know if I should do OPK this time or not.

WRT GP I guess my 6month of trying clock has been reset given my m/c last month and one month we missed the fertile window.
My BMI is too high, despite being a size 14 and cycling 40mins a day 4 days a week (more active than I ever have been). So they will just tell me to loose weight. I'm not sure I'd ever get my partner to agree to any sort of fertility treatments or investigations anyway. He has 3 kids, 1 with me. He thinks the only reason I'm not pregnant is that I'm too highly strung. 🤷‍♀️

It's so confusing what treatment is available and when and it's different in each health authority.

Xxx

@AliceRR September sounds sensible - though fingers crossed the summer will bring you a rainbow BFP. I'm thinking I'll give it until October / November - I'll have passed another birthday by then and it will be 18 months since we started trying. Though of course hoping to be sporting a bump by then!

@Frillyfarmer i also worry about being 'difficult'. I went for a meal with a couple of friends on Saturday night, one of whom is 6mths pregnant, and I couldn't help but feel like I was bringing the whole situation down. Ended up having a fair bit of wine which made the atmosphere less frosty but did nothing for my head on Sunday morning! That's great news about the promotion. I hate that we live a world where pregnancy is a barrier to profession but unfortunately it's the case in most workplaces. Keep ignoring the bitching and relish being an awesome working mum!

Has anyone ever had a late AF, loads of BFN and then a BFP? Trying not to get my hopes up. AF is nearly a week late and still getting negatives

@Lilimum7 thanks that's good to know.

I'm not obsessed with my own cycle this month, for the first time in forever, but just obsessed generally. I feel like the months we're flying by, it's the 17th June and so far 2019 has brought me 2 miscarriages and a shittonne of heartache.

I feel as though I'm becoming quite difficult to be around at times - one of mums friends made some inappropriate comment about "getting on with no2" and I replied to tell her exactly what I'd been through and how her question was rude considering I hadn't seen her in a year. My mum just eyerolled and after we walked on, asked me whether I wouldn't mind "behaving" myself.

I get it, people think it's easier to politely smile and chuckle and my husband has told me several times I shouldn't divulge our personal lives - but apparently it's friendly banter for others to enquire about it.

My silver lining is a promotion at work which I absolutely wouldn't have got if I were knocked up - I'm a fee earner in a senior position, the only one who has a child and I'm sure whenever I leave work on account of him, they all bitch about it.

@Avocuddles I’m 35 and on third cycle of trying again since my baby’s stillbirth so I’ll be speaking to someone if I’m not pregnant again by about September. I’m paranoid I won’t get pregnant and then worry about what will happen if I do so I don’t want to waste time really

Thanks @AliceRR that makes sense. I'd been trying for a year (during which I turned 35) prior to conceiving, and had been referred from treatment as it appeared that I wasn't ovulating. I'm thinking I'll give it five or six months to see if things happen naturally and if we have no luck i'll start the fertility treatment route again. Every day seems to pass so slowly at the moment!

I think from 35 they say to see someone if you’ve been trying for six months (not a full year unless under 35) - if I haven’t misunderstood what you mean

@pinkoi sorry to hear AF has arrived

@pinkoi sorry to hear AF has arrived.
No harm in seeing the GP. I'm same age and had been TTC for a year before my loss. My fertility clinic referral was cancelled when I fell pregnant naturally and I'm not sure how long I'll need to leave it before they'd consider referring me again. We have friends (in a completely different area) who have been told they would have to wait another full year after the MC for an NHS referral, but given my age I'm hoping I wouldn't have to wait that long? Has anyone else had similar and if so how long did you have to wait for a referral?

Thanks everyone. Seems like AF arrived now. I might still POAS this eve so I know it's neg. Last month I got a BFP after 5 day AF. I'm thinking I might need to see the GP as we have been trying since the start of the year and I'm 36 😢

Thanks for listening to my wibble xx

@pinkoi I understand how you're feeling, I veer between being terrified of not being able to get pregnant and fear of actually being pregnant again. I want it so badly but I'm also terrified of things going wrong again, it makes me sad to think that I'll never be able to be one of those women who actively enjoy the experience of pregnancy.

Pluck up the courage to POAS when you're ready. Once it's done at least you'll know where you stand. Fingers are crossed for you xx

@Lilimum7 I don’t track it religiously but if I notice then I record it on Ovia. I use the Ovia app mainly

Hey all,

I'm driving myself a bit mad. I should probably POAS now. Think period was due Friday based on opk tiny bit of pink and brown spotting but no need for a pad even.

I'm just so scared. If it's positive I'm terrified it will go wrong again and if it's negative I'll be terrified it will never work again. What a mess 😢

I feel really nauseous and have done since Thursday last week. That is probably just worry.

So much for me just being chilled about it

I had ewcm at 5DPO yesterday, I did an ovulation test and it was negative which I thought it would be. Honestly just not sure what my body is upto these days, another friend announced she was pregnant yesterday, same due date as my latest loss, sent me into a pit of despair yesterday evening.

@Lilimum7 I'm with @AliceRR on that one! I've never really got to grips (so to speak!) with EWCM though I'm always keeping an eye out.

Flashing smiley from clearblue this morning! Not getting hopes up as in around five months of testing prior to my short lived pregnancy I never saw a solid one, but who knows, this could be the month? I miscarried almost four weeks ago but my cycles prior to that were at least six weeks so might make sense from a dates perspective. Only thing that worries me is that we're off on holiday in three weeks time so if by some miracle we were lucky I would be travelling (short haul) at 4-5 weeks pregnant. On the plus side if this isn't our month we have a well timed break to look forward to....

Hope you all have a good week. Personally am dreading going into work this morning but needs must!

@Lilimum7 what I've done before is when DTD every other day is record cm on the days in-between.

Tmi question can you ladies tell between left over semen and your cm

Nope, once we’ve dtd I have no idea what’s going on with cm either