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Original poster

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

982 replies

Lilimum7 · 13/05/2019 08:02

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

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Avocuddles · 30/05/2019 23:07

Oh @AliceRR how insensitive, I'm sorry you've had to put up with that, it hard when it feels so cruel yet the person in question appears oblivious. Two of my closest friends are expecting at the moment, they were a bit further along than me and all seems well touch wood, i was initially worried how I'd fro around them but they've been great, checking in daily which I really appreciate (even if have nothing to say other than 'yes it's still shit.....)

@bee222 sorry you've been feeling low. It's perfectly normal to feel that way, I'm really struggling to block out the heavily pregnant ladies / brand new dads in my office, but getting better at timing tea breaks for when a potentially 'triggering' conversation starts up. I hope your cycle kicks in soon. Mine was completely erratic when TTC so I'm not holding out for anything resembling regular periods but very early days yet.

@coconutlatte44 good luck for your appointment tomorrow. We will be thinking of you x

AliceRR · 30/05/2019 22:41

We couldn’t totally have a separate separate sht friend thread @frillyfarmer*

That’s exactly how I feel @thelittlepeanut She hasn’t texted in months and then when I texted her to ask how things are with her she basically makes excuses and drops a baby bomb. She should have replied first just asking me how I am IMHO. I could have said I’m really struggling and then maybe she could have mentioned her pregnancy later. I’m quite annoyed.

I wondered for a moment whether my text back was a bit mean but if it was then so be it...

thelittlepeanut · 30/05/2019 22:34

@AliceRR oh she sounds like a proper shit friend! Checking in on your friends when they're going through something so difficult isn't intruding. Also, if she'd kept in touch over the last few months she probably could've been more tactful about telling you her baby news, rather than waiting for you to reach out to her first and then dropping the b bomb on you without even checking up on you first?! Ugh. I'm so annoyed for you!

@InDreamland @Lilimum7 I can't begin to tell you the amount of people I've blocked on Instagram lol. These perfect bloggers with their perfect pregnancies. I know we don't see the behind the scenes but the fact they make it seem so easy.. makes me feel sick.

I'm CD4 - 5th cycle since MC. Feeling shit today. DP currently rubbing my feet though 😌 got to make the most of the small things in life!

Frillyfarmer · 30/05/2019 22:29

Oh gosh @AliceRR that's such a shit thing for her to do - we need a room101 on this thread for shit mates who can't support their friends. Honestly, I'm so sorry. They sneak into your thoughts and drain all of the little happiness you manage to muster over the day, or at least my shit friend makes me feel like that. I feel as though I'm mad at myself for being bitter but also her for being so rubbish.

AliceRR · 30/05/2019 22:05

5DPO (I think)

I texted a friend today who hasn’t really been in touch since the baby died in Feb. She came to the funeral so it’s not like she’s shown no support but I was disappointed she hasn’t otherwise even texted to ask how I am. I texted her today to ask how things are with her (as I haven’t heard from her). She replied saying she thinks of me a lot but didn’t want to intrude and by the way she didn’t know how to tell me but she’s pregnant.

Well she wouldn’t have been intruding by sending a text 3 months later and if she was that concerned about telling me her news, why not reply to ask how I am and waiting for the reply before telling me she’s pregnant?!

I was a bit annoyed and replied possibly letting on that I’m a bit annoyed, but not that she’s pregnant (obviously it is a bit because she’s pregnant) but because she’s a shit friend. I even mentioned I had a friend over with her newborn baby girl not long after our baby died so she knows if I don’t meeting up with her it’s only because she’s been a sh*t friend. I probably shouldn’t have replied...

🙄

Original poster
Lilimum7 · 30/05/2019 21:38

@Pop1234 if you can get in with Tommy's they will do it plus NK cells at one of the centres but I can't remember which one

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Original poster
Lilimum7 · 30/05/2019 21:37

@coconutlatte44 Fx that tomorrow is going to be good news, keep us posted hun xx
@thelittlepeanut and @InDreamland I feel the same way about how it makes me feel and about Facebook. I limit all exposure to social media (except here obviously lol)

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Pop1234 · 30/05/2019 21:35

@Lilimum7 I think I will if it's still the same next week.

They said the same to me about testing the tissue, don't think they offer the parental karyotyping as much now do they.

Original poster
Lilimum7 · 30/05/2019 21:32

@Pop1234 I'm not sure if it's darker, maybe as gp for hcg numbers to make sure they are going down.

As for the tests, they said they would test chromosomes if I have another loss so basically if I get a bfp and start to lose they will recover the remains and test them. But they will not test us.
@bee222 sorry you are feeling low hun. My 6th mc (mmc) really did a number on my cycles it took a good 2 months to go right. Just be kind to yourself. Your body just needs time hun x

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InDreamland · 30/05/2019 21:26

@bee222 can you unfollow certain friends then to avoid seeing their posts in your newsfeed?

bee222 · 30/05/2019 21:23

@indreamland I'm trying to limit it, but unfortunately I need to use it a lot for work. I definitely feel better when i'm not using it though

InDreamland · 30/05/2019 21:10

@thelittlepeanut that's exactly what I think too. It's killing me inside. I actually feel sick everytime I see a pregnant woman.

@bee222 sorry you're having a hard day. I found myself totally coming off Facebook since mc#1. Literally the only time I've been on since mc#1 was to post my wave of light photo. I've not been on at all since mc#2. I can't cope with everyone else's happy pregnancy and baby news. Can you stop going on for a while?

@coconutlatte44 fx is good news for you.

coconutlatte44 · 30/05/2019 20:22

Thanks @thelittlepeanut. Have an appointment at a new EPU in the morning. Don't feel optimistic as I've had hardly any symptoms (not even sore boobs or tiredness) this pregnancy. I know that doesn't necessarily rule me out but it makes me feel much less positive about my chances.

I'm in a weird place - I don't really know what I feel. On one hand I feel like I can cope with bad news and on the other hand I feel like another loss will throw me totally off balance and I will struggle to recover. Maybe it will be a mix of both.

bee222 · 30/05/2019 20:21

Hi everyone

Just want to have a little rant as i'm feeling a bit down today.
Its exactly 6 weeks since my ERPC. I haven't ovulated or had a period since. Had blood tests on Monday and was told hormone levels were at 8. Last week I had 4 random days of brown spotting and I keep getting little throbbing pains in my lower abdomen. EPU don't think it's anything to worry about.

I'm just so fed up. I feel like my cycle is never going to get back to normal. I'm 38 and have no children and I can't help but think this is never going to happen for me. This is my second miscarriage. Today 2 people I know who are nearing the end of their healthy pregnancies posted long social media posts about how crap they feel being pregnant. I know their feelings are valid, but it just makes me feel like shit reading that stuff. I would give anything to be in their shoes right now.

Pop1234 · 30/05/2019 20:07

@InDreamland I'm with you on the pregnant ladies and babies. It really does suck.

@Lilimum7 I will post a picture of the tests. Let me know what you think.

As for the tests I know it is difficult with the nhs as I know they can be great, but the time it takes them to get the results and get you in to see them is a lifetime. But I'm glad they have done a whole range of tests for you, they were pants with me. My GP has done more than they did.

Did they offer you the chromosomes test?This is one I really wished they'd done. But they took the blood from both of us and turns out they don't do that as a standard test at my hospital anymore so it never got tested. I'm so paranoid about it being the issue.

@Frillyfarmer I remember when this happened to you, and how shit it was. I'm not 100% convinced it's getting darker, could just be "off my head" as DH says 🤦🏼‍♀️

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's
thelittlepeanut · 30/05/2019 19:57

@coconutlatte44 fx that the lack of progression in the spotting means it's nothing serious! Keep us posted hun - you can get through anything ✨

@InDreamland nothing worse than pregnant women on the tube. They're everywhere. Every time one gets on I think 'that could've been me'. Literally every single time. It's depressing.

@Lilimum7 That woman sounds awful. People like her shouldn't be allowed to procreate..

InDreamland · 30/05/2019 19:49

@Lilimum7 that would make my blood boil. Women like her should be sterilised. Those poor children. Hopefully tests will give you answers, it's so frustrating isn't it not having an answer to fix it.

@Frillyfarmer that sounds like it could be the mc causing it but can't be sure it is that. I know mine after both mc's have been different to what they normally were and certainly the first couple after mc#1 were more clotty.

Frillyfarmer · 30/05/2019 19:26

@Pop1234 keep an eye on that - I had retained products and mine went darker, HCG rose again in bloodwork and my GP convinced me it was another new pregnancy and got my hopes up. Ended up passing it naturally but it was such a headfuck.

@Lilimum7 glad you're ok and I think it's a good idea to stop temping- I'm so much more relaxed since I let it go.

My update summary-

29years old
TTC#2, DC 20months
2 MC Jan 6wk and May 5+3 currently CD2 on first cycle since MC

I'm going to get completely TMI now - my periods of late have been gloopy, I won't have anything in a pad and then when I go to the loo it's like one continual thick, gloopy string with no clots at all. I don't know whether it's post MC or just my periods since childbirth as I BF pretty much upto my first BFP - does that sound odd? It's a healthy colour and flow compared to how my periods always have been, but the gloopyness is new!

Original poster
Lilimum7 · 30/05/2019 19:19

@Pop1234 do you still have both tests if so post a pic of them together.

As for my tests I had as far as I can tell, every test under the sun except NK cells and chromosomes tests. Just I'm a bit worried if I do fall before August and there's something wrong I'll be headed for mc #8 although I've been told to take asprin and progesterone on bfp. But I'm doing progesterone cream now just incase.

@ InDreamland I totally get it about the bumps and babies everywhere. There's a lady by me who keeps getting pregnant and the social takes the babies into care because she is a terrible mum. She likes being pregnant and the first year of the babies life then get bored and wants a new one it's awful. She must have about 10 by now it sends my blood pressure off the scale and turns my blood to steam.

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InDreamland · 30/05/2019 18:42

@Navy123 it doesn't hirt at all, just feel a little scratch when the needles go in but not painful. It's not cheap, my sessions are £60 an hour Confused

@AliceRR I agree that if people have kids they should be so grateful they've actually got them rather than be disappointed they're not the gender they wanted or born at the wrong time of the school year. Makes my blood boil.

Update from me:
Currently 2 or 3 DPO. Got next acupuncture session on Saturday (3rd one ever but first for this cycle). Really pissed off today, no I don't want to see or interact with the pregnant women in the office, I've lost 2 in the past 10 months so it's the last thing I need shoved down my throat and rubbed in my face. They're all over the tubes too. I can't f'ing escape them.

Pop1234 · 30/05/2019 18:23

@Lilimum7 I bet August feels like ages away. Do you know what tests you had done?

Sorry I pressed send too soon.

Also sending baby dust to you all xx

Pop1234 · 30/05/2019 18:21

@Lilimum7 great idea!

I am currently 3 weeks post ERPC of my fourth miscarriage since April 2018 when I had my implant removed. NHS tests have showed nothing, currently awaiting fetal tissue testing and visiting Dr Shehata next Wednesday. Really want my tests to show high NK cells over anything else. Terrified of one of us having chromosome abnormalities that keeps me awake at night.

Showed you all my test post ERPC and couldn't help but test again today and feel it could be darker. But I know I'm being ridiculous.

Original poster
Lilimum7 · 30/05/2019 17:58

Hello ladies,

How are you all. I confess I've not been keeping up with you all. If you would like we could all do a catch up summary of where we're all at right now.

I'm currently 5/6 dpo (dotted Cross hairs on FF) have no symptoms at all but my temps seem to be falling already. I'm giving temping a break after this cycle as I'm finding it way to stressful. I'm waiting for blood test results from RMC with another appointment 6th August.

Baby dust to you all

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Avocuddles · 30/05/2019 16:30

Thanks everyone for your thoughts re acupuncture. @strawberrye I'm in the same frame of mind as you re giving it 6 months. We'd been trying TTC for a year and had just been referred to fertility treatment when I got my BFP. I'm going to give it six months to see if I conceive naturally (with a bit of acupuncture on the side...) then go back to the doctor to push for another referral. In the year since I came off the pill my cycles were very long and I never saw a positive ovulation test but fingers crossed this time!

@InDreamland my interview experience was exactly like yours other than that the interviewer didn't know my situation. The feedback I got was very strong and out of 15 candidates I was a clear second, though pipped at the post by someone effectively doing the same job already. I'd almost prefer that I'd been dreadful as a very close second hurts more given I was definitely not on my best form! x

CodlingMoth · 30/05/2019 13:58

Thanks for the welcome. Ironically I started my Mumsnet life on the conception board years ago when trying for dc2. Never thought I'd be back on these boards, let alone on this thread. I have a new partner now and we desperately want a child together.

I'm pretty af has started. This is a relief as it means we can start trying again (if I can't still be pregnant)

Am following the acupuncture talk with interested.