TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Just want to say hi. I had my 12 week scan last Friday but was discovered I'd had a missed miscarriage. Baby had died at 8+4, i had suregery a week ago today. I feel like im on a rollercoaster of emotions right now. Desperate to start trying again.
I have a 5 year old daughter (nearly 6) and this was my second pregnancy.

@Frillyfarmer that's weird - I added af to mine today too (now it's finally here rather than stupid spotting which I literally never get) and it shifted my fertile window as well, even though today is when it said af would start. Mine is cd 15-20 though, 12-20 seems like a long window!

Ovia users - I've just added details of AF in for today (CD4) and it's shifted my fertile window from starting at CD12 to CD20! I ovulated on CD16 this cycle and usually CD15 do I have no idea why it's done that?!

@Laney79 that's amazing news I'm so pleased and I have my fingers firmly crossed everything progresses as it should - you're giving me hope on this third time lucky story 😊

It's 1st June and I'm using it to draw my line on the first half of this year - our fortunes have to turn at some point?

@Avocuddles Ovusense has been amazing for me. Would really recommend it, especially with longer cycles. You wear it internally overnight and it records your core temperature so really accurate. When you get a sustained rise it confirms ovulation. Here is my last chart...

Wow this thread is flying!

Sorry not to reply to all individually. Huge penguin huddle hugs to those who need them. sounds like a tough week for some of you lovelies xxx

I feel very lucky right now. had my scan on weds and everything was as it should be! I'm further along than I've ever been before successfully and we saw a heartbeat which was just amazing - I sobbed! Little one measuring 14mm (only ever got to 3.1 and 4.2mm before) and so they put me at approx 7+5 which is around what I thought from ovulation, but almost a week ahead of LMP dates!

It's still very early days, and there's still lots that could go wrong, but finally having a good scan and seeing that heartbeat was just incredible. We have another scan booked for the day we get back off hols on the 19th June so I should be 10+5 by then.

I'm hoping we can still go on hols but my ma is suffering post op complications after her hysteroscopy so it's a bit up in the air at the mo.

Glad all is going well for you guys too @hayleyfx @ale2992 @Bluebelltulip @coconutlatte44

@Catconfusion we were TTC for just under a year. I'd tried to track ovulation for a few months but never had a positive result which was one of the factors behind our fertility treatment referral, although I clearly did ovulate at least once! I'm hoping that now my body has managed to get pregnant that maybe regular ovulation will kick in, though I'm not optimistic.
How does ovusense work?

@Avocuddles my cycles are very long too and usually 40-50 plus days. My periods only last half a day. I've been told this is fine. I do ovulate on my own though. My mmc pregnancy was the first cycle we didn't use contraception and then we had the chemical. I'm therefore trying not to worry too much about having problems falling pregnant again.

Are you tracking ovulation? I use Ovusense and it's amazing. I used it for three cycles before our wedding and was shocked I was ovulating as always thought I'd need medication to conceive. I've had poly cystic ovaries on a scan years ago but my mc scan showed they've gone. Also blood tests normal.

How long have you been ttc? It's so frustrating with long cycles and trying to pinpoint O. Dtd every other day is exhausting! You never know it might just happen for you naturally. I really hope it does! Xx

Ps the only thing the hospital said was to do a test for them in three weeks time and they'd give me a call to check that it was negative. I've felt very 'not pregnant' for a week now and the systems were pretty decisive which is why I decided to test early. I also thought it would be constantly on my mind whilst we were on holiday if I didn't. A couple of glasses of wine may have also contributed to the impulsive behaviour...

Hi @Catconfusion. Yes mine happened naturally. I'd had some spotting over a couple of days then it all happened fairly quickly, though I had some bleeding (like a light period) for best part of a week.
I think I'm highly unlikely to conceive naturally anytime soon, unfortunately. My cycles were very long (40+ days) and my periods were very light so I had actually been referred for fertility treatment at the point I fell unexpectedly pregnant. Neither of us are the biggest fans of condoms so I'm not sure what to do - when I first came off the pill it took almost three months before I had any bleed at all! x

I'm not sure @Avocuddles I had an ERPC with mine and then had a chemical pregnancy straight after probably due to not being fully recovered. If you'd had surgery I would say wait for a period based on my experiences. I seem to remember yours was natural so I would have thought no danger in trying again straight away. What did the doctor/hospital say? Do you feel recovered? Xx

@ale2992 that's fantastic news about seeing a heartbeat, amazing!

So I was told to wait three weeks after my MC to take a pregnancy test, however just over a week on I couldn't resist and just produced a 100% negative one. I never realised it was possible to be so happy over a single line! I'd just made DH buy a box of condoms to use until I'd tested but now I know that everything has gone surely that means we're ok to DTD without protection?

I'm sure you'll see more then @ale2992 all in all great news! Xx

@Catconfusion yes they have booked for me to go back Sunday 9th

That's great news @ale2992 I was wondering how you are. They saw a heartbeat which is the main thing and it sounds like the monkey was hiding. will you go back for another scan? Congratulations! Xx

Hi everyone just checking in,
Hope you're all doing ok! Will catch up on the thread after I've posted this.
So I went to my private early reassurance scan this morning, my bladder wasn't full enough and my tilted uterus made it impossible to find the baby at first, after two attempts and a litre of water. The technician had found the gestational sack but couldn't see what was inside because of my bladder and uterus. She asked me to come back this afternoon with a full bladder.
Three litres of water later at 2pm my bladder was then too full!! Three short trips to the toilet later after emptying a bit of my bladder each time she had found the sack and a little speck of a baby with a heart beat but again baby was hiding and difficult to measure. Measured around 6 weeks when i am 7.
Trying to stay calm and not panic over the measuring behind but I'm happy we found a heartbeat as with my blighted ovum and chemical it had never got to that previously.

That sounds like a good idea @Pop1234 and good luck for the appointment with your doctor.

Enjoy the wine @Navy123 it's definitely a silver lining. Hopefully next cycle is your cycle.

Congratulations on your scans @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx and @coconutlatte44 It brought me a lot of joy today imagining what it would be like to be pregnant again and see the heartbeat. You give me hope! Xx

@Hayleyfx my midwife said a similar thing to me today that she knows I won't feel confident until I have a baby in my arms. I didn't have a scan or anything today but just seeing her has helped for now.

Thanks girls, was such a relief to see the heartbeat. Should be about 6+1 today and morning sickness has hit me hard! Haven’t been able to do anything today but hoping this is a good sign. I’m still so nervous all the time, considering I was in the second trimester when I lost my son I don’t think I’ll feel confident until I (hopefully) have a baby in my arms.

@coconutlatte44 congratulations! I did the same, tears of joy at seeing the heartbeat 😊

@AliceRR that's exactly what my brain does too - part of me is still trying to say it's implantation! If it was though then I wouldn't still be getting bfns given how long ago I ovd! Just trying to ignore it and looking forward to my wine!

Congrats @coconutlatte44 , hope all stays healthy for you.

@Pop1234 definitely get signed off if you need it - I went back to work way too quick when I lost mine before DS was born and it was such a mistake - and not fair on colleagues etc as well because my head wasn't in it! Everyone grieves differently, and I hope you've got a sympathetic gp.

Thanks everyone. Think I am going to visit the doctors again and hopefully get signed off. Even if it's just until I get my results, I think I would feel better.

@Avocuddles I also found myself in the toilets a lot googling after MC number 3. I feel at the minute I would be pretty useless at work anyway.

@AliceRR I also finding planning house stuff distracting and provides a good positive attitude. Currently sat drinking a hot chocolate whilst looking on Pinterest at new kitchens lol

@Catconfusion I'm glad you had time off to make sort your head out a little.

Feeling really appreciative of this group today. So thank you ❤️

That's the thing isn't it @AliceRR we all need money. My DH has been amazing supporting me but I feel so bad about it all, especially since we can't afford a holiday or to have date nights because all his money goes on our bills.

It is an odd feeling just being at home but I've had very little concentration for anything until recently. I think it's done me good after a crazy couple of years.

It sounds like you have your hands full with the house and I'm sure you'll know when the time is right to go back to work. I guess it's a case of feeling capable enough and needing the money.

I've been thinking about work a lot more and I think that's how I knew it was time. Plus the guilt of DH supporting me has built up.

Keeping busy definitely makes ttc again less stressful too. I've done some work today and I know I'm ovulating so it's really taken my mind off the panic of whether this will be our cycle or not and generally overthinking everything! Xx

@Catconfusion Yes I’m trying not to pressure myself but I am aware of the finances too. I’ll be on half pay very soon and DH isn’t working so I have to take that into account. I’m going to just concentrate on working on the house for maybe a month. We moved in end of March and builder starts bathroom and bedrooms on
Monday and then see how I feel and what DH’s job situation is.

I’m a bit like how you sound, very hardworking and ambitious usually, rarely take a day off, so it’s strange for me to be sitting at home! I think if we are similar in that way you probably will benefit from keeping busy.

I am trying to think about work also so that getting pregnant again isn’t my only focus.

I admire your attitude towards it all xx

Thank you @Avocuddles It's just such a difficult position to be in isn't it? If I were 29 I know mentally I'd feel stronger because there would be time. Pregnancy loss takes such a long time to resolve. It's around six months since I got pregnant for the first time. Today I think I'm ovulating and it feels like our first proper shot at it since the second loss. When we're older we don't have as many 6 month periods to recover should a loss happen again. It's feels very pressured and a bit of an all or nothing situation.

My DH said to me yesterday he thinks I've spent the last few months waiting to be pregnant again. I think that's so common from what other ladies on here have said but I don't want to spend any more time waiting. If it happens, it happens and I'll be a bit apprehensive though happy but I've got a life to lead in the meantime.

Like you say grief can feel like a weight stopping us from enjoying the life we've already build for ourselves. It is really hard though to go back to that life after walking so far down the road of becoming a parent. I'm determined now to start taking opportunities that come and enjoying my time on this planet again. There is a gaping hole like all of us on here but hopefully we'll all get our rainbow babies soon! Xx