TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@VenusStarr sorry about your BFN. You're not at all unreasonable to be frustrated, it takes two so if you feel like one of you is not 'pulling their weight' then it's perfectly understandable to feel a bit hard done by. Do you think your DH would be willing to go for counselling - I know it's not always an easy sell but talking therapy may help in this instance?

Hi ladies just wanted to drop in and say hello. Been reading through the thread, still the supportive penguin huddle as always ❤️🐧🐧

Just to comment on acupuncture @Avocuddles and anyone else, after last mc I had 6 months where periods just weren't right. Some months not sure i ovulated, medically cycles were 'normal' but I knew they weren't normal for me. Started acupuncture and cycles sorted within the first month which led to bfp in the second month. Everyone responds differently to treatment but there was a physical change that occurred for me with ewcm, ov symptoms, and my own emotional well-being etc. It's one thing I swear by and still going today. I'd never been before so had no pre- conceptions.

Anyway just wanted to share that I think it does offer improvement in fertility but we all respond in different ways - which is right given it's about balancing your body and your hormones.

Xx

Hi All. Almost the weekend!

@fnej01 Sorry about your MIL. Hope she's ok.

@VenusStarr Glad you've been inspired to look after yourself. I'm planning on starting yoga after my holidays. Between that and the acupuncture I'm hoping that I'll be a changed person!
I'm certain that your Nan will be looking after your little one and glad that you felt a sense of closure in spite of having such a hard and emotional day.

Baby cuddles are a weird one aren't they - when I was trying and failing to the conceive the first time round I felt a rollercoaster of emotions each time I held a baby, hope and sadness and love all at the same time.

Tomorrow is the day for the bbq at ours and the 15 guests include two pregnant ladies (both 6+ months), three babies / toddlers and two slightly bigger boys so I'm preparing myself for the weird emotions to kick in! I've been trying to stay away from alcohol but think a wine or two might go down well tomorrow. I stopped ovulation testing this morning after two weeks of flashing smilies but no solid one, and have resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to ovulate this month. It's 5 1/2 weeks since my MC so I'm just eager for AF to arrive now, but based on my pre pregnancy cycles it could be a long time yet as they lasted anything for 42 days to 4 months.... 

@fnej01 @TinyPaws thanks for the advice, Professor Quenby said to use the front door so that's what I'm doing for now although as you say it's quite messy! Thankfully had read about that so am using old pants 😂 will ask her though about the back door when I have my results telephone appointment next week. When did you first notice preggo type symptoms on them? How are you both otherwise?

@venusstar sorry to hear about the loss oof your nan, sounds like you were incredibly brave at the funeral

Hope everyone is OK. Said goodbye to my nan yesterday, during the funeral service I said a little prayer to her to ask that she take care of my little one, feel like I got a bit of closure.

It was a hard day anyway but my uncle and his wife have just had a baby, 6 weeks. I struggled a bit at first but I did find some strength to give the baby a cuddle. It's strange, holding her made me feel that it could be me holding my own baby in the future. Feeling positive this cycle, had a big load of ewcm on Wednesday and think I ovulated yesterday.

I was reading your comments @AliceRR and @Avocuddles and you inspired me to go to the gym on Wednesday. I did a short run and went to yoga after. The class was great. We focused on our breathing and the teacher was really focusing on our energy and being open. Felt like it was quite a healing process so I'll be going back next week. Thank you both ❤️

Sorry to hear about your mil @fnej01

How are you @Lilimum7?

Hope everyone else is OK xx

@strawberrye hiya, I did morning and bed time so definitely not exactly 12 hours apart. I found back door in the morning and front door in the evening worked best for me. As @TinyPaws said back door is a lot less messy. Just to forewarn it gave me lots of symptoms in the 2WW but I wasn't preggers.

It's all glamour isn't it 😂

Still reading folks but just carrying on quietly TTC. Lots going on with a sick MIL etc

Baby dust to you all! X

@Avocuddles That’s a lot but I do think if it works then it’s worth it to have a family. Yes if you think you haven’t ovulated then it might be worth speaking to the gp. You might have ovulated even if you haven’t managed to pick it up on an OPK but I think there’s no harm in speaking to the gp even if only to set your mind at rest.

@strawberrye If you put it in the "back door" rather than the "front door" it really is much less messy. I don't think it has to be precisely 12 hours apart, either.

@Kayjay2018 @AliceRR no harm in trying anything I guess. I'm taking pregnacare max, + ubiquinol 300mg, add in a weekly acupuncture session and you're looking at £250 a month! Cheaper than fertility treatment I guess but I still hope it doesn't drag on too long. I'm already beginning to question my six month rule - I think if I haven't ovulated at all within three months then I'll get back to the doctors. I really hoped that the fact I'd managed to get pregnant once would kick start my body but doesn't look that way so far!

Question for those of you on progesterone after ovulation - mine is prescribed twice daily, do you take yours literally 12 hours apart? I've read it's best to lie down for half an hour afterwards so I was planning on doing the morning dose when I wake up at 6 but I often don't leave work let alone get home until way after 6... Not sure whether to attempt it whilst at work? I hear there is a lot of leakage...

@AliceRR yes very expensive, I got it on the three for two deal, made me feel slightly better about it. It took us 6months to get pg in the first place, it's now been over 2 months from mc. I am hoping I won't need the full 3 months worth of them.

DH has already said back at the start of our ttc discussion that if it doesn't happen then we won't seek help, so I'm trying my hardest to get it to happen naturally

@Kayjay2018 It’s expensive isn’t it? But included on 3 for 2 at Boots and I suppose if it works then it’s worth it. I just take Pregnacare at the moment

@AliceRR Holland and Barrett and boots do them. I could only find the max version as a sachet. They taste vile with water but I can stomach them mixed with orange juice!

Thanks @Avocuddles You are kind. I don’t mind children and baby bumps a lot of the time but sometimes seeing children (even a bit older) just reminds me of my little girl and how I’ll never see her do X and Y. And seeing my friend’s baby is lovely but makes me think of what Ruby would be like as they’re the same age and maybe it will always be that way. I do get comfort from seeing my friends though and I’m glad I can still be around them as I know people in my position who won’t. It’s so brave of you to have your friends over and it’s good that you’re treating it as a positive thing, which it is as we shouldn’t underestimate the value of our friends, even though it might be a little sad for you

@Kayjay2018 I’m googling proceive max now...

@AliceRR that's good to hear. It's so important to have friends around you. We've got a few friends and their children / baby bumps (6 little ones in total!) coming round at the weekend and weirdly it doesn't phase me at all, even though I'd kind of planned the get together for this weekend as it was the point at which we supposed to have had our 12 wk scan and were going to break the baby news.
I admire your strength, you have been to hell and back but you are such a valuable and supportive member of this group. It's great that you're trying to stay positive but when you have those down days never forget that there are plenty of people here to support you too xx

@Avocuddles I've been trying proceive max sachets this month, bloomin expensive but I figured I need to give everything a go. I'm also having reflexology sessions to try and ease my anxiety. I seem to have become much more highly strung about everything since my mc.

I'm 38, so older than you and @AliceRR by a few years, the new sachets are for people over 35 ttc so thought I'd try them. DH is 51 so neither of us is bringing any young dna to this baby making lark!

Reflexologist thinks I'm quite healthy (apparently I can tell a lot from feet).

I got my first af 30 days after mc but I didn't ovulate that cycle. The next one I did ovulate (few days earlier than the norm) and af was absolutely awe full, very painful and heavy and the suddenly gone. This cycle seems more stable (temp wise), I don't drink caffeine, never smoked and don't have alcohol. I have switched to brown rice pasta etc and my bmi is good I really don't know what else I can try.

Fingers crossed this cycle is a good one for us all

So we are about the same age. Thing is I feel like I got what was in the water as I was third to get pregnant in the team last year and obviously worry if / when it will come around again but it is early days for us trying again so I need to not go down that mindset. With other people being pregnant sometimes it doesn’t bother me and I want my friends and family to be happy but other times it just reminds me of my pregnancy and how it ended... I try to stay positive but it obviously gets me down sometimes. I’m seeing my friend with her baby girl again tomorrow though. I’m looking forward to seeing my friends.

@AliceRR I hope that the something in the water works it's magic on you soon.... I'm also 35, 36 in a few months. I work in a large office with over 2000 people in the building. I swear there are hundreds of pregnant people at any given point in time. A routine trip to the canteen feels like running a gauntlet past endless big bumps, I wish I could wear some kind of blinkers so I didn't have to see them all! A colleague who is working alongside me on a project told me about her pregnancy yesterday - I'd already figured it out as she's a slim girl and already showing but it was still a case of saying 'oh congratulations' through gritted teeth. I wish them all well, I just wish I could join their club....

I’m 35 @Avocuddles You are right in that our friends tend to be a similar age and / or similar stage in life to us so you’ll likely have a period where you’re all settling down, getting married, having babies etc but this guy who posted on Facebook is just a random guy from work whom I know but isn’t in my friendship group. There are three floors in use in my building and two wings on each, so six wings... well at the time when I went on mat leave in Jan there were two other pregnant women just in my wing and now this guy(‘s wife) who also sits on my wing. I’m not aware of any other pregnancies in the building so there’s something in the water! Also in my team of about 20 there are three of us on mat leave (including me) plus another women is now pregnant and due to go on on mat leave soon. It does feel odd sometimes to say I’m on mat leave BTW. I do think it’s worth making the best of things and doing things we might not be able to do if / when we have a family.

Hope everyone is ok today

Hi everyone. Sorry to hear that @CodlingMoth (though enjoy the alcohol!). Just been for my first full acupuncture session. Expensive but I really hope that it can help get things regular (or even better pregnant!). Five weeks post MC now and still no sign of AF though not surprised as my cycles were 6+ wks before hand. Holiday in just over a week so kind of hoping that AF arrives before then so that I can relax a bit knowing where I stand! Pretty sure I haven't ovulated - have been testing for over two weeks (started a couple of days after I finished bleeding) and lots of flashing smilies but no solid one. It would make me feel far happier to know that I was ovulating even if it didn't result in a BFP!

@Kayjay2018 what vitamins are you taking

@Lilimum7 don't beat yourself up, you're not insane and I'm pretty sure everyone here can sympathise with how you're feeling. 8 DPO is still early, try to resist for another couple of days and fingers crossed you might still see that second line....

Well it was just an evaporation line. It was also just a very faint one yesterday morning. Today it's af trying to start, def no line and much alcohol consumed.

I'm relieved really as I haven't had a normal cycle this year, just losses. I need a break. But damn I want to be pregnant.

Hi @Lilimum7, 8dpo is very early so don't feel bad about a BFN. I think most of us probably beat ourselves up in one way or another through this TTC process. I think I'm 1dpo today, feel like I DTD at about the right time and enough times this month (I thought that last month though). This month I'm on my new conception vitamins which I think delayed ovulation by a few days (typically day 14 and I think day 17 this month - was day 13 last cycle).
I would have been 17 weeks this last Monday and can't get it out of my head that I should have a bump and possibly feeling him/her by now. I'm trying to focus on other thing a this cycle and be more gentle on myself (works better some days than others).

When are you due AF?

@AliceRR I definitely eat too much sugar. I work in an office environment where people are always leaving snacks around, I've already grazed on a penguin biscuit and some haribo maoam this morning, whoops!

I know entirely what you mean about all the announcements. I think it just comes with reaching a certain age - i think you're about the same as me? Out of my ten or so closest friends I'm the only one who doesn't have one or more children, or one on the way. Much as seeing their lives unfold can be upsetting sometime, I do frequently make them jealous of the life we lead with two incomes and no dependants! I guess I should make the most of it whilst we can! x