TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@InDreamland I can see lines on all three yes both IC ones are the strongest. You are still very early on, try not worry about progression on the frer. The important thing is that they are positive. If you hadn't previously had miscarridges you would likely just accept a positive result. In my previous 2 pregnancies I only did one test in each, this time I've done loads. My fingers are crossed for you, try to relax and take things a day at a time.

@InDreamland I totally understand that this is all a manifestation of the (understandably) huge levels of anxiety but....I think you need to step away from the tests. Urine hCG tests are designed to be yes/no for pregnancy, they aren't designed to show progression. I know its really hard but I think you'd put yourself through a lot less anguish if you were able to repeat to yourself that you have a whole bunch of positive pregnancy tests, and today you are pregnant. As horrible as this anxiety is there is literally nothing you can do to change the outcome, and stressing about it is just going to be torturing yourself. Can you give your DH all remaining tests and have a preggo test amnesty? And plan something nice to attempt to take your mind off it? I highly recommend going to see Aladdin!

Sorry ladies to be selfish and do another post about myself. This anxiety is ridiculous, why the F* did I test early? So this morning's tests, I did all 3, IC stick, IC dip mini stick thing and a FRER. FRER to me hardly looks like any line progression from Friday, maybe a smidget more but not that noticeable. The IC stick you pee straight onto (although I dipped it into the pee pot) is a very obviously stronger line which is good (and why I opened another FRER). The IC that you have to dip has now come up with an obvious line which IMO on Friday was negative. No idea how sensitive the FRER is but the IC stick is 10 mlu/ml and the IC dip stick is 25 mlu/ml which may explain the negative on Friday if it's not as sensitive and is only now picking up hcg. Here's a pic. What do you think? I'm panicking about the FRER not progressing like I though it would. I used the same sample, dipped the IC stick first, followed by the IC dip stick and then FRER last.

@AliceRR the GP is a good call as at least you will either have your mind put at ease that it is normal or you'll have hopefully an answer.

@AliceRR- I am so sorry for what you have been though- I can't even imagine. Kind of felling a bit bad that my username is a constant reminder- not that your feelings for your little one will ever go away.

@InDreamland Yes I might see the GP depending on what happens in the next few days. I can understand you’d be worried, I think it’s almost impossible not to, after a loss, but hopefully this one will stick for you. Line darkening is still a good sign.

@AliceRR I think I'd be considering going to see my GP, I don't know whether because you carried full term whether it takes longer for AF to settle down. Really hope that you feel back in sync soon. It must be so frustrating. Thank you for asking, I'm still really anxious, in so aware that AF is due in the next 48 hours so the better line this morning means absolutely nothing. In fact with mc#2 my line progressing was really good right up to 1 hour before bleeding started.

@moonpeace glad you got out and had your hair done. I love having my hair done, always feel better when I do. Also helps me as my hairdresser has had 3 mc's in the time I've had 2 so we talk about that a lot and how we're both feeling, like a therapy session for both of us. Bet the lie in was nice, it's good to rest. Hope you start to feel more confident about your pregnancy soon but totally understand the worry given your/our experiences.

@Bluebelltuilp hope the headache has eased up now and you're being well looked after.

@moonpeace sadly we are all here because we know that a bfp doesn't always equal baby to bring home. I'm glad your scan went well and that you got out this afternoon. Hopefully things will continue well. I've spent most of the day in bed being grateful that DH is home as I have had an awful headache all day.

@AliceRR bodies can be highly frustrating especially when we want things to be predictable.

I meant by worrying, not working 🙄

@moonpeace Hopefully everything is fine and I’m sure it’s anxiety (which is understandable) but you can’t change anything by working. I know it’s easy to say.

I thought just now I might be having cramping but I don’t know if I’m imagining it 😬🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

@InDreamland Thanks for replying. I think I’m 14DPO. It is unusual for me to spot for this long but then last month I had two days spotting following by two days lift af followed by three days spotting. Maybe I should speak to GP as I don’t know whether my cycle should be regular by now and it’s really confusing when you’re TTC. I don’t think I have a HPT either.

How are you feeling?

@AliceRR that is difficult to tell. Do you know how many dpo you are? Strange to spot for that many days. You're not out until the witch shows.

@InDreamland Well I don’t even know because cycle before baby was always 32 days but then my first cycle after having the baby was 34 days, second was 26 days and now I’m on CD30 and this is my fourth day of spotting so it could be af any time now 🤷🏻‍♀️

@AliceRR when is AF due? Fx she stays away and spotting is implantation.

@moonpeace I agree men just don’t know how to deal with these things sometimes but it must be difficult for you if you don’t feel you have enough support. Have you told anyone else?

@rubyroot Every time I see your username it reminds me of my daughter’s name - we named her Ruby but always called “Ruby Roo” ❤️

Sorry those of you feeling down. We’re all working towards the BFP but we know that in itself isn’t the happy ending we’re after. I can only imagine how scary it must be to be pregnant after loss @bluebelltulip @moonpeace @InDreamland

I’m still spotting but assuming it will be af. Haven’t bothered to test

Awww @moonpeace I think I know exactly how you feel re miscarriages, heartbeat etc.

I don’t think men are very good at coping, your partner probably doesn’t mean to be a nob- they just hide away from it all as they’re not strong like us. Guess we as mothers/women have no choice.

Sending thoughts your way- feels like being stuck in some time warp doesn’t it.

Of course it could turn out well, but I know it’s feels like it’s not worth investing in that thought to ensure we are not crushed once again.

One day at a time- for all of us. It’s all we can do

@Russksipy yay! Good to hear you can properly start TTC again. Fx that this cycle you fall naturally and bean sticks. Goodness you really deserve it after everything you have been through.

@moonpeace your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so so sorry you're feeling this way. It is positive news though that you have seen a heartbeat. I'm keeping fx for you that baby goes the full 40 weeks and you get your rainbow to bring home.

I took another IC this morning, not using anymore FRERs (I have 4 more in a drawer) until after AF is due, so Tuesday, if SF doesn't turn up. The line on the IC is definitely more pink and a little stronger than yesterday. Head all over the place. Going to gym class now, headache from yesterday gone but I feel a little shaky. Strange.

Woke up to AF. Finally here! CD1 and TTC naturally this cycle and if nothing we start preparations for DE next cycle, with potential embryo transfer in August. Onwards and upwards....

Thank you @InDreamland x

@Bluebelltulip I can imagine the 4 weeks feels like a million years away. Do make sure you sleep as much as you can, rest is important.

@InDreamland I'm 8+2 now. Got my 12 week scan date through for 4 weeks today. Tiredness definitely doesn't help my emotions, heading back up to bed soon.

@Treaclepie19 I haven't had potato waffles since I was at uni but they are yummy, especially with those beans with sausages in them. I also got cravings for salt and vinegar chip sticks. Strange I went off harissa. Pregnancy does weird things to taste buds and appetites.

@Bluebelltulip how far along are you now? Fx that baby sticks. Hoping lots and lots for you. Could tiredness be affecting emotions? Sending hugs x