TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Best of luck to those with the BFPs leaving the thread🤞

Thanks for those asking after me. I’m on CD2 (although af already seems to be easing off) and have a cold so feel a bit bleurgh)

Just sat reading the thread and look up and the weather presenter has a huge baby bump. Can't escape it anywhere.

@Lilimum7 sorry you are feeling down, sending hugs.

@Frillyfarmer I don't know if you saw my post the other day but Dr Shehata also advises low dose aspirin to all patients from their first appointment. I told him I took it in my third pregnancy and still miscarried and he said that if I took it from BFP it wouldn't have made a difference as it takes 6 weeks to get in your system, so good that you are taking it already.

@AliceRR how are you doing?

@Mistymeow Dr S just said to hold off ttc until we had our results at the end of June. I think sometimes the nhs say about the full thrombophillia test as it can sometimes throw up a false positive if you have been pregnant in the last 12 weeks. But when I saw Dr S last week it was only 4 weeks post MC and he did all my bloods including thrombophillia. Hope that's helps.

Oh dear, just to clarify when I suggested a new thread I meant in addition to this one. No one should feel like they have been bumped off, please do stay here if you need a hand hold in early pregnancy. We are here for you. It’s just there was always a Pregnant after loss thread on mumsnet but it seems like that has ended. My suggestion was so that you could all support each other going forwards throughout your pregnancy. You are all welcome here but you also need your own space to support each other and talk openly without the worrying about upsetting anyone who has recently miscarried, or excited newly pregnant women in the antenatal clubs. I feel terrible that people may not feel welcome, absolutely the opposite of what I meant. Apologies if I’ve upset anyone, very sorry.

@Lilimum7 I’m sorry you feel so down. Cd1 is the worst but you will pick yourself up. I’m awaiting the same and it feels crap, but we will do what we usually do- dust ourselves off and try again.
@fnej01 yes I’m seeing him mid July for the first time, but it’s an NHS appointment. I’ve heard that one of the tests means you can’t ttc for 2 months- is that correct? That would be a bit depressing but if it’s necessary we will do it.
@Avocuddles hmm I have heard of this happening post miscarriage. I don’t think it’s uncommon but perhaps you could call your gp for more reassurance? It could be an infection.

Hi ladies. I've been absent like @TinyPaws as I just wasn't in the headspace for all the BFPs on this thread. I'm so so so thrilled for each and every single one of you, more than any of my friends in RL because you have ALL been through the shit. It's just a defence mechanism I can't control and I hate feeling jealous so I've been skimming a bit.

I'm CD13, it's my first month of using easy at home and premom after @Lilimum7 recommended. Just got a blazing positive on OPK after two days of EWCM and the physical back ache suggests I will probs ovulate tomorrow, DTD the PST dew days, this afternoon and will try for tues and weds as well 🤞🏼

@Navy123 I've decided to take baby aspirin without being told to. I had PE in later pregnancy with DS and took it then from 32weeks. I was REALLY dubious because I was so so so careful with DS and I didn't want to take drugs so my consultant gave me loads of research on how it affects baby/mum and I've found that helpful to read through. I have a friend under RMC and her consultant prescribes everyone baby aspirin at first meetings so I figured why not. It's a controversial one so I'd do a bit of your own googling and see what you think?

Hope you're ok @strawberrye @AliceRR @fnej01 xx

Distressing day today. 18 days on from my MC and 4 days after taking a very much negative pregnancy test I've started bleeding a fair bit and (apologies for tmi) passed a lump of something about two inches wide. I rang the early pregnancy / miscarriage unit who just seemed confused at the fact I was experiencing this after a negative test but way too early for AF. They've just told me to test again (???) on Thursday when I'm up to the three week mark and then give them a call. Not quite sure what this is meant to achieve but just wish I could get on with life and start to TTC again! We DTD yesterday so not sure if this is what made this happen?
Has anyone experienced similar?

Thank you to everyone that has given me support on this thread. I understand that hearing about pregnancy can be upsetting but try not to push people over to the other thread too soon. I would also like to say that the pain of losses doesn't make any of this easy whether you have a living child or not and just because parents moan about there children it does not mean that they are not loved and appreciated. Summoning the strength to look after my toddler after my stillbirth was the hardest thing I've ever done and yes I have moaned about her as most parents of toddlers will at some point. Yes I am lucky to have her but it doesn't make the grieving process any less painful. I wish you all the best of luck and hope to see you all on the other thread soon.

I'm so sorry some of the pregnant ladies feel forced off this thread. I in no way intended anyone to feel that they are not welcome to post and I wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancies. I wanted to explain why I had been quiet as I feel this thread had mostly moved on to early pregnancy chat which I didn't want to interrupt with my same old boring TTC situation.

Good luck @InDreamland - hope the next time we see you is when we all hop over to join you x

@Lilimum7 how frustrating! My DH has managed to be away for 4 out of 6 of my mcs, given that he hardly ever has to work away it is quite annoying how badly timed it is! That does sound really tough though having to go through everything alone so much of the time. Do you have other rl support?

@InDreamland In the nicest possible way I hope we don't see you back on here!

Ladies. I'm sticking my toe into the new graduates thread but will 99.9% likely be back here in the next couple of days/ weeks once I've lost this one too. After DHs results on Tuesday it's highly unlikely we will not get past the first trimester or even first couple of weeks. So until we meet again (probably tomorrow as that's when AF is due) I wish you all the luck in the world for your BFPs to come. Thank you for all your support x

@Lilimum7 I am so so sorry af has got you again. It really is the toughest journey, and I'm so sorry your appointment is so far away. I know we are lucky to have the nhs but it really does move so slowly and when every month counts it is so difficult to wait. Is your OH supportive and making you feel better tonight? Definitely agree about people complaining about their kids or, worse, how difficult being pregnant is when they are feeling tired or sick - what I wouldn't give to be feeling like that! Hope you are taking care of yourself.

@fnej01 I see him again on 26th June. You are totally right, as long as he gives me some answers I'm not too bothered. It is a very long way it took us 5 hours to get home when we went on Wednesday, but seeing him has given me some hope.

This thread does move so fast, but I do keep reading.

@TinyPaws I am also one who has been here a while and currently not pregnant, but I do have hope. Although I do feel like I'm in the minority because of how many MCs I have had, it's been 4 now. But hopefully we do all get our happy ending soon.

AF showed up properly yesterday 30 days since ERPC. Feel better that hopefully my cycles are ok. But won't be trying this month as I will ovulate before my results appointment with dr Shehata.

@AliceRR I have also been spotting a few days before AF and it has happened after my other MCs too, more so after my natural miscarriage. It's never happened to me before, so it probably is just our bodies 'regulating.'

@InDreamland I do think the FRER was darker today than Friday, keeping everything crossed for you.

@Kayjay2018 thanks for your kind words. This was the first pregnancy for both of us, but we hope there will be another to come with a better outcome. Fingers crossed that we all make a move to the graduate thread sooner rather than later! x

@AliceRR autocorrect can be a minefield can't it? I remember in my younger days texting my mum that I was waiting for a bus, the message she got was that I was waiting for a cup!

My mc was in April at 7 weeks and my body in not totally back to normal, definitely shorter lp phase than my old normal cycles this month, plus I had loads of pg symptoms and obviously wasn't. My reflexologist thinks your body will settle down when it thinks you are ready to get pg. last month I didn't ovulate so part of me hopes what she says is true, so I can look back on my may cycle and see that whilst not successful, my body is getting there.

I will definitely ask the question of the dr (and reflexologist as she does fertility reflexology which is why I'm seeing her).

I think I may need to get some king of counselling to sort my head out a bit if the reflexology and reiki she does do not help.

Do you think it's worth me asking the dr for any other blood tests whilst I'm there? Given that I'm 38 and been trying for 9 months?

Wow this thread moves so fast! Sorry I can't reply to lots of people, I really can't keep up. Got my fingers crossed for everyone who has had a bfp though - although I see what people mean about it being hard to read about, it does give me hope and I don't begrudge it so much to people who have been through this too!

Fw seems to be taking ages to come round this month, I don't want to wish time away but equally time needs to hurry up! Also taking raspberry leaf tea capsules this month. Anyone else used it? Since my first mc in January I've had constant milk cramping/stretching all through each month, which finally seems to have settled down since taking them. Don't know how long to take them for though as I know you shouldn't take them while pg.

Also wondering about taking baby aspirin - anyone else taking it without being told to? Not had any advice back through yet from my gynae referral.

@Kayjay2018 sorry for the typos there, I meant dtd regularly and not track but see you’ve tried that before.

There’s so much cr*p in the Internet. I was reading all sorts about spotting earlier.

Would be interested to know what your dr says about spotting before af. I suspect it’s not a problem but it’s just different for me and I worry about everything right now. It is mostly likely for me that my cycle just hasn’t settled down yet x

@AliceRR thank you! Tried not temping etc over Xmas with no luck. So went back to temping in January, got my BFP on my feb cycle. No one in the two world knows we are trying and google has so many suggestions of supplements etc that I get baffled by it all!

For info I had a day of spotting yesterday before af arrived today (and have had spotting before Af on several other occasions) I have the doctors on Wednesday so will ask if it's something I should be concerned about and post back on here

@kaykay2018 sorry I don’t know what to suggest except that maybe if tracking everything isn’t helping then how about (8; you’ve been TTC and tracking for a while) trying a cycle without tracking and just dye regularly?

@Mistymeow Yes it think you’re right. I was reading all sorts online today and one thing I read was that if it’s spotting just before af then it’s to be counted as af but I don’t think that’s right. I think I just need to calm down tbh 😬

@VenusStarr It’s good to hear from you but I’m sorry you’ve had a tough few weeks. Sounds like a good time for a holiday for you x

Hi everyone, just popping by. I have been trying to keep up but had lots going on outside of ttc. Congratulations to all with bfps. Really hope I get to join the new graduate thread 🤞

I haven't been ttc this month as had my hsg. It was awful, it was completely triggering for me and the pain was so bad 😢 one of my tubes is fine, the other they aren't sure as the dye went in but they aren't sure it came out but due to my pain and discomfort they didn't want to continue. Still have the hysteroscopy to go in August, but after my recent experience I'm dreading it. Back to the fertility clinic in September.

We're off on holiday next week, desperately need the break.

Hope everyone is well xx

@Avocuddles i think most a lot of things nowadays can be managed with medicine as long as you can get a diagnosis. I'm sorry to hear about your mc, it's heartbreaking and soul destroying, I've found I feel like a failure and this is even impacting how I feel about myself at work. I'm lucky to have a hormonal 15year old son, my husband has no kids, the one we lost was his first and I had so many hopes for the future. I really hope you get your BFP soon and can get started on the medicine you need to have your rainbow baby.

Hi ladies,

I was wondering about setting up a new thread for those who've had their BFP as I couldn't seem to find the old one which was set up. The recent posts have made up my mind.

Here's a link to the new thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3608075-The-Graduates-of-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-thread?watched=1
Please link to it when you start thread no.31 and hop on over yourselves as soon as you can!

It's really tough when you've been on this thread for a long time and feeling left behind. I joined the thread in April last year and felt like I'd never be one of the ones graduating. Please don't lose hope. I am rooting for all of you. I have absolutely everything crossed for you all; and especially the long-timers. Every month is a month closer to your rainbows. I shall be checking up on you regularly.

And for those of you who are newly pregnant, we all know how scary it is and that our pregnancies can't be taken for granted; I know the very act of leaving this thread might seem uncomfortable; but I think the others a right: that we need another safe space we can be totally honest about our anxieties on without worrying about hurting other people's feelings.

@Kayjay2018 definitely best to find out so you can take any appropriate measures, both in terms of helping the pregnancy and for your own health.

I have a history of blood clotting which is most likely hormone linked so I when I fell pregnant I was immediately referred to an consultant obstetrician / haematologist and started taking daily enoxaparin injections about a week before the MC. Next time round I'm to start taking them as soon as I get my BFP which I hope might make my body more likely to hold onto the bean, though only time will tell I guess. The consultant told me that without treatment my blood clot risk was 1 in 10 compared to less than 1 in 1000 for most pregnant women. These stats were a bit scary when I first heard them but I'll feel more prepared for those challenges if and when I get my rainbow.....