TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@InDreamland So sorry you find yourself back here so soon. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you as bleeding does not always mean a loss. Have you considered doing another test to make sure?

Really sorry I haven't responded to everyone individually. I have been ill with the most horrendous tummy bug and gone back to work to a massive stressful backlog. Had a work trip to London yesterday which turned into a 14.5 hour day. Not doing that well emotionally as things have been difficult with partner's job loss (she got a new job fairly quickly but now she is now stressing that she's going to lose this one too). Hoping to do embryo transfer in July but that might get pushed back to August if all the admin isn't done in time.

I had my third counselling appointment yesterday and the counsellor said she was struggling to keep up with the amount of worries I have, they're all feeding each other and I'm jumping from one worry to another. She said it seems like I'm exhausted. Which I am. I've got this weird sense of desparation to be pregnant but I'm stuck.

I went home and reflected that I'm still exactly the same as I was a month ago, I haven't moved on at all emotionally or mentally. We're not even ttc this month because of the hsg so I've enjoyed not tracking anything but still 100% focused on 'being pregnant'. One thing that stood out was apart from my folic acid and taking ubiquinol, I'm not really doing anything else to help myself. I'm really iphappy with post miscarriage weight gain, no exercise and I'm not giving myself any time to switch off or relax. I think it's because I don't really believe I will ever have a baby, I can't visualise it and it scares the life out of me.

I feel like I'm just existing :( sorry for the long all about me post...

Hopd everyone is OK xx

Hi ladies, so drs appt this morning and given my mums history of lupus they will run a load of bloods - have to wait for first appt which is 5th July. He had no advice on anything else I could try when ttc and said the main thing is to relax and avoid getting stressed about it. He reckons the average time is 18months to get pregnant (I though less than that) so it's avoid sign it only took me 6/7 months even though that ended with mc.

I completely forgot to ask about spotting before AF I'm afraid, I got carried away in the conversation, was a really down to earth engaging gp

Hope all is well with everyone else

@Avocuddles exactly the same!! I just thought ooh AF on her way. Ironically the month we didn't OPK use preseed or anything! X

@MrsH497 the daft thing is that in the few days leading up to my BFP I felt convinced that AF was just about to start as the symptoms were initially so similar - tender boobs, cramps, general crazy hormonal moods! So even once things do settle down I know I'm going to drive myself crazy analysing every twinge. Its hard feeling this anxious, and hard knowing that the anxiety will only get worse if and when another BFP comes!

@fnej01 I'd second everything you said about acupuncture. Like you're describing mine too. So far today no more bleeding but I've had an episode of really raised heart rate.

@AliceRR I've never tried reiki but heard good things.

@Lilimum7 you have been so good to the ladies here too. I'm sure others will join me in thanking you for being so supportive. Interesting advice about stopping coQ10 once you get BFP. I wonder if it helps men and their swimmers. What techniques do you use to help with the anxiety?

@Avocuddles it's so hard. I just want to feel normal again know when I'm "late" when I'm ovulating it's all too unpredictable at the moment! Can't work out if I feel pre AF at the moment, then I try and remember how I felt before I knew I was pregnant and compare to how I feel now 🙄😩

Thinking about it it must be 20 years since I had what you might describe as a 'real' AF - I never realised how desperate I would be to experience those teenage style periods again!

@MrsH497 it's a stressful time isn't it! I tested negative last week then started bleeding again yesterday including passing a large clot. Touch wood it seems to have stopped again (though still light spotting), I rang the EPU when I was bleeding and they just said to test again on Thursday (in spite of the negative!) which will be three weeks after the mc. My cycles were c6 weeks prior to falling pregnant so I'm not expecting things to return to 'normal' any time soon unfortunately....

@Lilimum7 I'm hoping that reflexology lady will move that more into the fertility space this time now I have actually ovulated and had real af. I think I will have closer together sessions for a while (we both had holidays so it's been about 3 weeks).

I too would do anything, though have to accept that try as I may it might not happen, i am blessed with a Hormonal 15 year old son, awesome DH and two dogs (one is only 13 months and my baby substitute).

@Lilimum7 I had a negative about 2 weeks ago and bleeding stopped after about 4 days but was never heavy

@Avocuddles @MrsH497 my period was about a week later than normal after all my miscarriages it was around 5 weeks. I think I was told go to gp after 6 weeks but for some women it can take up to 12 weeks.

Advice on aspirin is mixed I have had two different consultants for RMC both Tommy's both different views one yes from bfp and one says not until 8 weeks despite having an aps diagnosis heparin only until then. I think aspirin can impact the lining and cause the egg not to implant early on. Like all mc advice seems to vary person to person x

@Avocuddles you read my mind was about to ask the same thing! MC was 17th May and still waiting but also wondered when I may do a pregnancy test as well. Such a confusing time

@Avocuddles my first af was about 30 ish days after my mc. I hadn't ovulated so was not painful and not particularly heavy. It was a very huge trigger and I found it very emotional. Currently having my first proper af and it is being really nasty and painful. I hope in some way it's symbolic and that my body will do its thing this cycle and give me a BFP.

Has anyone else tried proceive max? www.boots.com/proceive-max-women---30-sachets-10256641. I tried my first sachet this morning and it made me want to vomit! Am going to try mixing with orange juice in the morning and see if it's more bearable. Its a conception supplement for women over 35 or under 35 and ttc for over 18 months. Not cheap but I'm willing to throw the kitchen sink at this as I know DH is not interested in getting any help, he is taking a what will be will be approach

@Lilimum7 sorry you are having a stressful time, my af is slightly calmer today but still in some pain. I'm worried because mine is heavier for longer than normal. I suppose we are so conscious of our bodies after a mc that anything that could impact fertility is on our minds.

@AliceRR I'm having a bit of reiki in reflexology session (have second one tomorrow). She is doing the reiki to help my grief to move in the right direction so it doesn't stagnate. It made sense at the time, she laid her hands in my neck area, my heart and then my feet and then did the reflexology.

@Lilimum7 it's definitely worth discussing your family history of early menopause with your doctors - although it's unlikely that you're experiencing it yet it may make them progress treatments with more urgency?

@fnej01 I have an initial acupuncture consultation booked next week so interested to see your positive endorsement. I have always had a needle phobia but managed to survive daily enoxaparin injections for three weeks before / after my MC (administered by DH as I was too anxious to do it myself) and will have to have them for a year if I conceive and carry to full term so I figured I will make it through. Slightly nervous that I'll run out the room when the needles actually come out but trying to think positive thoughts!

I've seen a lot of references to aspirin on this thread but don't quite understand the implications. What does the aspirin actually do and is this different to the effects of enoxaparin / clexane?

@Avocuddles After my MC it took 6 weeks for AF to arrive but everyone is different x

@AliceRR
I have had reiki before but not since my losses. I always found it very relaxing.

@Lilimum7 is reflexology an option? I did find one that specialised in fertility and it was good but decided that the acupuncture was for me.

@InDreamland hope you are ok, and bleeding has settled

X

TWW is driving me nuts been staring at IC's the last 3 days praying for that second line to appear. Hate this bit!!

Have any of you ladies tried reiki?