Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

Hi thank you for the reply. I discussed my blood test results with my dr today and she said my levels are high and that i may be having menopause.

How can you tell if you are ovulating if you do not have periods

Yes fair enough @BooseysMom. I certainly wish the pp well as I said. I guess I was just being honest expressing those feelings of resentment you identify, as it is hard sometimes, and I hope I did so respectfully.

@CouldBeaGreatMum.. that's a lovely msg thanks. I also can't get my head round wanting a 9th child as seeing as I've only managed to have one it's difficult not to feel resentful. But I will say this is a non-judgmental space and I know another lady who has been on this thread since the beginning who is trying for a 5th I think. She's a lovely and caring person and has given me a lot of advice and support.. So I don't think it's wise to judge anyone from what they are hoping for in life. Sorry I don't mean to be nasty or anything, just we want to keep this thread as supportive as we can

Thank you so much @PetraRabbit for your advice. Wow, it's really uplifting to read your story (despite your past sad MC) it's great you are 9 weeks! Congratulations and really good luck. Thank you for sharing and offering your thoughts on IVF. I know what you mean about the whole IVF thing what with the price and the odds of success versus age. It's so tricky to make that judgement. I am so sorry to all those giving away baby things and accepting it won't happen. Incredibly sad, and I hope the joy of having one child will soften the blow for some of them.
For those who have reached a place of acceptance that they will not have any children at all, I completely take my hat off to them. I can't imagine what that's like and how to move forward as a woman or a couple when that last sliver of hope of ever being a parent is completely gone. At my age, I am praying for one, but would love two one day, but then you think, based on age and timings, one might not be possible, let alone more than two! But keeping hope for now, and thanks to pp on here it really helps.

@Meredithdorothy2016 I am sorry, it must be hard for any woman TTC and not being successful, but to be honest with you I couldn't believe it when I read your post (if not a typo) that you already have 8 children and want a 9th?? I wish you well, but I'm sorry that I can't get my head around that for many reasons.

Hello.i am Kim at 42years old i have a 6 year old son. Were ttc with baby no2. I have not had a period since 6months. I had endometriosis polyp which i recently got removed. We have done all checks both of us and said all clear its just the age.
The dr gave progesterone and clomid but not yet started. Taking folic acid too. I really would like to give my child a sibling. Any advice ladies thanks

I'm over 9 weeks now. Nervous but glad I've got this far.

I came on here really to help Couldbeagreatmum. We conceived our DC when I was 41 after 4/5 months TTC. I was nearly 41 when we started TTC. And although I suffered a miscarriage when my baby was still young I'm now as I said 9 weeks pg and will be 44.5 when (hopefully) it is born. I think at 40 and with the clean bill of health from the doctors, plus a younger partner and the list of healthy things you're doing, you are in a really strong position. I think TTC gets much harder after 42 but you have a couple of years. I wouldn't waste money on IVF until or if you are trying longer than a year. I've read quite a bit into it and I think the medical opinion tends to be that older women get pregnant more easily naturally than through IVF maybe because the body is clever at pushing forward the right egg by itself, so often it's just a matter of time and a matter of time might mean a year plus. I waited nearly a year for this BFP. Also, sadly there have been as many miscarriages via IVF on this group as there have been miscarriages from natural conceptions and it must be extra hurtful to have spent a lot of savings. For me Ubiquinol, accupuncture, reflexology and fertility massage made a difference this time, but I also believe luck and timing play a huge part. I wish you all the luck in the world. X

@hellenbackagen.. I had to do the same a while ago. I hung on to my maternity stuff and all DS's baby clothes then I did a couple of NCT sales then donated the rest. It's just the hardest door to close. I can't say much more without reducing myself to tears atm! Anyway good to hear from you and @Hobbes39, you too x

Just catching up after a most horrific AF...

@alwaysredlips...welcome. you're not a fraud! Why do you say you that? I had DS at 41 so you have every chance of conceiving. Great your coil is out. Mine was alot more painful going in than coming out! Good luck and baby dust x

Welcome to @KediKat & @CouldBeaGreatMum

So many new ladies on here lately!

My news is I went to the doc about my recent very bad AF and fluctuating hormones and the urine sample I did was normal whatever that meant. The GP I saw was my favourite lady doc and I did end up in tears when I told her we have been ttc dc2 for years now but I'm a scared due to my age (47) and instead of being negative she said 'well it does happen ". I was convinced I had a very early chemical as i had been nauseas for 3 weeks and very emotional but no, it must have been a particularly bad cycle. She wouldn't do my hormones which I can't understand. I had them done a year ago. She would only do bloods as I'm getting so tired all the time. I think that's it for sure now. It's time to call it a day but like other long timers I'd like to still be here to see how everyone is doing

Good luck & baby dust to all x

Hi all, posting for advice. We have 8 dc (between 15 and 2) and all conceived easily with no issues. We decided we would try for number 9 in January 2018 (I was 40.) I'm now almost 42 and in the last 17 months of trying I have had 4 consecutive mc. All 7 week or less. It seems odd since I have previously had no issues. Is it simply my age and poor egg quality? Pelvic u/s clear and cycles are regular and normal. I'm wondering if we give up. Thanks all.

Thanks so much @Hobbes39, appreciate the advice. Sorry if my post was unclear - but yes I think I was saying that I will have missed the boat of NHS IVF due to age, as 40 soon. So just wondering what next step is really (if i don't get pg in next 2-3 months).

My private test results were all normal or good for my age. Same with DH. They also said I was in good health so "all looked good".

Just wondering when (jn the future) we ought to bite the bullet and go for private IVF initial steps...

Hi all - just checking in and hoping you are all ok. Welcome to the new people too. @CouldBeaGreatMum - the advice is to go to docs for the basic tests ( which it sounds like you've had already - what were your results like?) after 6months if older if no luck by then, a year of younger as time is more on your side. I don't want to be a bearer of bad news but I suspect if you are 40 in the next couple of months that you will miss the boat for funded IVF already, as most places (but not all) cut off at 40 max when you start treatment, and sadly waiting lists mean that it's u likely you'd be able to start straight away. It does depend where you live tho... x

EvelineUK - thank you, I'll give it a go!

Hi ladies
Still read occasionally.

russ so sorry to read your news 💐.

I am using up the opk, got a peak today but aren't getting giddy. I have given up really. Just don't see point in wasting the sticks and at least I know I'm still ovulating . Reassuring to see a peak as didn't get one last 2 months so I might give up on a high 😆

I have today bundled up my maternity wear that I was hanging on to after the last disaster and am advertising it on FB for a donation to ARC. I feel like it's time to let go of it all.

I'll check in now and then to see how everyone is tho.

💐 and ❤️ to all . hope to see lots more bfp S here! X

@kavanaughkj thanks so much for your kind advice

It's so helpful and interesting hearing other people's experiences and journeys.

So far I think I've been "ok" and not too stresshead about it, in spite of my list of healthy habits! I kind of wanted to implement those anyway, eg lose weight & exercise due to turning 40 soon and fear of turning frumpy! But of course I knew they could help my fertility. During the TWW I am not using pregnancy tests or anything and figured I will just know as and when I don't get my period. So I'm trying not to be obsessive, however with each month you do naturally start to wonder...

Having said all that, following guidance I'd read on here, DH and I said we would try for 6 months and then go to the GP after that if nothing happened. So far we have tried for 4. But is that the right advice? There are people on here saying they tried much longer. We have both already had private fertility checks including all the tests so there's nothing "known". Also when I turn 40 in a couple of months I won't be eligible for IVF on the NHS. So what should be our next step?

Should we continue trying for a few months and then seek help??

@CouldBeAGreatMum - I don't think there's anything else I can advise you do ... except perhaps (and I know this is virtually impossible when you want something so much) just try to relax a bit around it all. After 11 months of trying I got pregnant with my DD after a ton of stress in the first few months. I was temping every day, on all the supplements, second guessing every twinge of my body, and it did me no bloody good at all. It wasn't until I'd booked in to see the GP to ask about fertility treatment (and my DH had managed to get a job after 5 months of trying, which was a HUGE relief) that I'd relaxed enough to almost forget about trying to get pregnant and just get on with daily life ... and it was then that I got my BFP. I'd naively thought that if I tracked all my fertile days and took temps and so on that I'd fall pregnant in a month or two - life taught me otherwise!!

Also, frustratingly, DH seemed to be ill the first time we tried virtually every month around my fertile window, but was totally up for it when I wasn't fertile. I began getting paranoid that he didn't want a kid and got very grumpy with him when he wouldn't or couldn't perform! Now the boot is on the other foot as it's me who's ill constantly instead ... and he's mad about our DD so I needn't have worried on that score.

I guess all I'm saying is - be kind to yourself, don't forget to enjoy life, and try not to let conceiving overshadow everything else. Good luck. xx

Hi Samk79 I take rainbow light one prenatal vitamin, 5mg folic acid, 600mg of CoQ10, an omega 3 capsule, and a vitamin D spray. I also have a shot of wheatgrass juice most days, and at least 3 times a week I have a fertility smoothie. If you google ‘molly sims fertility smoothie’ the recipe comes up but it has things like bee pollen and maca in it. I was doing all this when I got pregnant with my son, so I’m
hoping it will all have the same effect :) I have also completely given up caffeine and have only a rare alcoholic drink x

@CouldBeaGreatMum
I've got a younger DP and first time trying too!
I need to check out some of the stuff you've described.
There's so much information out there it seems difficult to know where to start

Hi all, do you mind if I join? Been lurking for a while but nothing much to say in terms of news. I guess a bit of a supportive boost would be great as I haven't been sharing with friends IRL.

I'm 39, 40 in a couple of months. Was only married very recently- a second chance at life (first marriage) after numerous abusive relationships and subsequent therapy. DH is younger- 28. We are really happy. We know we have to try immediately and have done so last 3 months.

I'd love to hear any tips from TTC / Mums who had their first over 40. As I'm sure we all know, every month I think this could be it, but so far not. Some days I can't help but feel so sad my chance to ever be a mum might have gone, but I also know I need to stay calm and objective. I have tried to make lifestyle changes to boost our chances as far as I can. The steps I've taken so far are:

• private fertility assessments (AMH, follicles, etc etc)
• husband fertility check
• lost 1.5 stone - got BMI down to 22.5 (still going though more slowly)
• no sugar, refined or processed foods
• no alcohol during the week but can't resist a consolatory wine at weekends
• daily uniquinol, folic, wheatgrass & pregna vit
• Maca root
• trying to get better / more sleep
• yoga and mindfulness to try and de-stress
• Fertility apps, OPK, BBT

When I write it down it looks like loads! But is anything else I should be doing?? Any advice or tips?

Husband has also lost weight and been eating healthily and taking pregnacare.

Fingers crossed for everyone.

Evening!
It's done! Coil is out. Was really easy in the end although there was a small panic about where my strings had got to, hidey little buggers are normaly always felt even if my cervix is super high so God knows what was going on today. Anyway a few tugs and it was banished to the clinical waste bin! AF due in 2 days and then I'm taking my first step on this journey.
I hope everyone is doing great and it's so nice to have company.
@Samk79 I'm curious too. I'm just starting out so just folic acid, iron and a vow to give up coffee so far for me.

Hello ladies, I can't keep up with their thread! I wondered what supplements everyone is taking to boost their fertility? X

Hi Ladies, I hope you don't mind if I join this group, I feel I am in the 'over 40's boat' going no where! I am 43, 44 in June and TTC since last year July and a MC in Feb at 8 weeks. I feel time is not on my side, AF came today, so this month is out again.