Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

@Cleozeta I have a 17 year old still at home from a previous relationship. DH has no children and using a donor egg kind of feels like it defeats the whole point of us having a child together. I have read loads about it and certain things can pass to the baby as it is growing but in reality when it comes down to it l, genetically it wouldnt be mine.

Reality - yeah I think it will take a lot of getting your head around. Some people say as you grow the child within you it does pick up some of your genetics, but yeah there are a few things you'll need to think about. It nay end up being oyr only o option too, but as Iwe already have genetic children I don't think we would. However if I were in this situation with no children I would withput hesitation

@Hobbes39 I’m not sure if it’s the same as embryo glue but that’s what they called it at the clinic. I did have that say it’s a nutrient rich substance they add to the egg. I will ask them at the next round. How are you doing? Hope all good with you.

@Cleozeta I’m still not sure about DE till have this stupid thing in my head that says the whole point of this is for me and DH to have a child together and DE will mean it’s a child of his with someone else. He is ok with it as long as I am but I’m not sure. He says I will love it and it would still feel like mine but deep down I have all these thoughts about when people say oh doesnt the baby look like you and I will know it just can’t look like me. We’ve even had the whole conversation about would you tell the child 👶 I think we should he says no. Apparently counselling helps and I have spoken with the DE team and they say lots of women feel that way in the beginning.

Hi all - I keep checking in on you all to see how you are doing and just wanted to say hi to @Realitysucks - I'm sorry your last cycle didn't work either 🙁. One thing we did different on this cycle (which I obv have no idea if it was the key to it working r not, but worth considering?) was that the consultant decided to throw everything they could at it for me and they used 'embryogen' - a different embryo culture from their standard - that they had had some signs of being better for older eggs... might be worth asking if that's something they could try? My clinic gave it to me as a free added extra , but it's usually a couple of hundred quid extra I think? You clinic may already use this tho... mine is relatively slow on the uptake of things like that as it's an NHS clinic with self funded option, so they don't throw in loads of extras unless there is some clear evidence it could help...
Good luck for your next round xx

I had some really long peiodsa few years ago when everything first changed (one period was over a month long, I had to take medication to stop it) after that they were over a week for quite a while, with a long period of apottimg afterwards (right up until ewcm so it was always coloured. Now things are much more stable my period is usually around 5 days with 2 or 3 days spotting.
Did uou ever get the results back from your tests? I can't remember if you told us?

Mimosa - new device is opk, but it has an attachment that you put on your phone to read it. Takes all the guess work out of reading a line. I really like it

Reality - it's good that they think it's not something that ends your chances. I think you are doing the right thing having one more try then DE. At least you will know you have done all you can and the chances of success with DE are so high

Hi everyone.

Ellie - thinking of you.

Welcome back Reality. Sorry to hear your last round wasn’t successful. It’s so hard. Don’t give up hope yet though, you’re still relatively young. Have a look at Fertile Heart website and her books for inspiration.

Chat - me too 😂 the myth of the horny 40+ woman is obviously not a myth! Thanks for posting about Liz Earle too. Loved the inspiration.

Cleo - good to see the new device (?) is working for you. Is it opks?

Afm had a very long period again. Seems to be a thing now. Full bleed for like 6-7 days then 3-4 days of spotting. So annoying and actually very tiring. I think it’s making me a bit anaemic. Anyone else getting heavier/longer periods in their 40s? Anyway, it’s over now so as Chat would say we’re busy getting swimmers up in them tubes😊

Hi Reality, so sorry that sounds really tough xx Fingers crossed for you x

@Realitysuck....so sorry to hear your news....keep positive...it can still happen hopefully...have u tried reflexology or acupuncture???

@cleozeta I don’t remember the exact name but after an egg fertilises some kind of nodule ( not the technical term) separates to the out side of the egg in all of mine this showed as abnormal. They said they have still seen healthy pregnancies come from the abnormality but I don’t feel it and I feel like I’m running out of time. It’s been a big decision and still a long way to go. Originally I said I would do donor egg but when faced with the reality I have struggled to accept it. We are going to try one last time with my own. If it doesn’t work the look at a donor for middle of next year. I will be 42 then and they say there is a 60% chance of success. Lots of counselling to do first though 😬

What was the flaw?

Welcome back reality

Thanks girls x All eggs that have been transferred have had the same abnormality. The quality of them was always good but same flaw in all 😞

Welcome back @realitysucks - glad you're doing ok. Sorry to hear about your second failed IVF round - did your clinic consider trying testosterone gel to improve egg quality for a cycle before moving to DE? We used it on my successful cycle.

Sorry it hasn't worked yet reality, don't give up hope yet. Good that you have a back up plan so you WILL get there, one way or the other x

Hi Girls !!! How are you all!!! So I found you at last lol! I’m sorry I just vanished but I just really needed a break. I’m not sure how many new threads I’ve missed or what news I have missed there seems too much to go through as everyone is so active. The one thing I did I see was @Russkispy I am sorry sorry Hun. I really hope you are as ok as you can be x x

I hope everyone else is well? AFM so we had our second failed round and I didn’t cope well at all. It transpires my eggs are well and truly f**d! Well they keep telling me it can still happen but I have resounded myself to the fact this isn't gonna work with my own eggs! In the meantime we have bought a house ( yup a 4 bed family gone opposite and under 5s playpark) talk about sting in it ! However, I’m in a bette replace than I was at the end of March. Work is less stressful, holiday in 4 weeks to Kefalonia and last round in September ( last ditch attempt at own eggs) then I’m on the list for a donor ! Talk about rollercoaster ride! I have missed all you ladies though !

Chat..i feel the same. I figure it has to be nature's way of driving you to have one last bash at ttc and then occasionally she'll throw in twins for good measure!

@Chatbash72.....well done thats good to hear....get cracking lol xx

Hormones shmornones.. I might be in my mid 40's but I feel like I'm in heat... sorry if that's TMI.. 🤣🤣🤣
Deffo ov 👍

Thank you evelineUK, very useful info. We dtd 12, 14 & 16 this cycle so hopefully we have done all we can. After 2 years + trying, we'll take any gender

Thankyou evelineUK. Does ovulation usually occur nearer to the LH and the temp takes 2-3 days to rise after or do you think the temp starts to rise as soon as ovulation has happened? Just trying to work out weather ovulation would have been cd13 (day of peak) cd14, 15 or 16 (day of rise) I think we covered all bases bus as we van only dtd every other day it would be easier if we could pinpoint. FF always assumes it's day of temp rise but that just doesn't seem to fit. Also it would mean that my LP wasn't as short as I thought it wS if ovulation is nearer to LH! Always so confusing!
Love the opk's by the way, the lovely peak alert is very satisfying 😍