Still TTC your first baby? New thread for toomuch's mobile!!

Hi ladies

I know it is normally quiet in here over the weekend but I just need a chat so to speak.

I am thinking about giving up ttc for a time. This month my cycle is all over the place and it is driving me mad. I think from my charting my luteal phase may be short but my doctor is crap and wants me to carry on without help for a bit longer.

I have turned into a monster (which is seriously unlike me, Im normally laid back) my DH was tired the other night and his wilson did not want to play (we have been bding none stop) but instead of being understanding I fell out with him. What is wrong with me I love him so much and that was so wrong of me!!!

I don't want this to cause us problems and I am scared it is changing me, my life and thoughts revolve around it!!!

Sorry for being down guys as I know some of you have been trying for longer than me.

I didn't ask whether that was 22 months after a treatment break. If Im honest I do not know that much about molar pregnancies.

I live in Manchester, I commute to Sheffield everyday for the shop.

I seriously do not know what is happening with my hormones this month. For the past six months my cycles have not changed this month I've had positive OPKs for the last week!!!! and my temp is up and down like nobodies business. I think I might just right this month off as I do not think I have ovulated. My bust is not sore or anything. But I was ill the other weekend when I had a fever.

BB, well, as you're only in Sheffield, I can recommend someone in Leeds if you want to go to someone with a recommendation. Let me know!

I wonder why I don't come across as a northern lass? Surely my accent (or lack of distinctive regional accent - very boring really) can't come across in writing?

22 months - obviously didn't have to have th same treatment as I had to put a stop on everything for 12 months after treatement after 1st mc....

Hi Ladies hope you are well. How funny Mistlethrush I to did not have you down as a Leeds lady, I have not idea why. I think I assume everyone on here is from the South.

I used to date a guy in Leeds - Pudsey to be precise.

I was talking to a lady who had had a molar pg we did not go into too much detail but she now has one child which took her 22 months and she is expecting her 2nd which took her 18 month to conceive. Funily the 2nd one came as she left a job she hated.

It took my DH's mum seven years and then she had 5 one after the other. It gives you hope.

It makes me smile that I spent years trying to not get pregnant and now I want to it wont happen.

My doctor is not the best and not very supportive but the nurse is lovely so I talk to her alot.

I really fancy accupuncture I've heard great things about it.

Ds post mp. That's why I can say that it can happen OK - as it has for me. Got very early scans as as result of mp. Unfortunately midwife didn't seem to consider that had already had mc and fairly lousy time previously and that I might not need to be told that there was a problem when there might not be, or that she was expecting me in with preeclampsia in the next few weeks (didn't happen ).

Accupuncture got me through pregancy - without it I wouldn't have been able to walk dog to day before ds arrived, etc etc etc. Also helped out hugely with stress.

Went to accupuncture Tuesday (not been sleeping well) - had the best 2 nights sleep since then that I've had in months. Come out of session completely relaxed, unworried, floating on cloud9....

We were lucky - having got to top of IVF list before mc, kept on seeing same consultant (who effectively was consultant in Leeds for mp as well) and saw him shortly after being formally allowed to start trying again - he gave us 5 months - got BFP at the last minute.

I think I must have slight psychic tendencies then! (as apposed to pyscho, you understand ).

S0 far I have avoided Sheffield, the support nurse there says they only see around 5% of women referred to them, and that the risk of needing chemo or getting metastatic GTD is smaller after partial mole as apposed to complete molar. I think my 6mnths is coming to an end, as I had my Ist clear test in Feb, but currrently still on fortnightly monitoring. Hey ho!

I do think you should post a pic of your ds though, I bet he's a cutie! Did you have him before or after MP?

We had the big talk about going for tests last night. It went OK, and I think dh is now seeing that I am feeling a bit desperate, but he is lovely and supportive. He doesn't think accupuncture is a great idea though, labelling it a load of old hocus pocus .

Hope everyne else is doing just fine...!!

Ah... well, I quite like being fairly anonymous (sp!!!???) in many ways, so have not got anything on my profile! So you'll just have to keep guessing. Although I would like to put a pic of ds on in someways as he's so smashing (apart from when he is being 2yo from hell of course).

Gloucester - in someways not far off, as originally a southerner, although I've been up in Leeds now for about 15yrs.

Referral for IVF, well conception probs - quite quick referal really as I think that we left it 18 months before going to Dr. (We just thought that it would happen at some stage). Then various tests, then consultations with IVF team, acceptance on list, but suggestion that we try naturally and wait for the NHS list for the 1st course - probably 6 month longer wait that private at the time. Then got BFP just as I was told that I was at the top of the list and called in for the last minute tests etc - then mc, 3months later 2nd erpc and 4 months chemo (last injection on my edd which I didn't realise until I saw edd on screen at Drs when there for injection - completely floored me again - then had to wait 1yr....

Very lucky with nice consultant which is good - and after mp you do tend to get ref for early scans without too much trouble, unlike in normal circumstances (eg before I was properly diagnosed).

Did you ever have to go down to Sheffield or did you manage to avoid it?

I didn't know you were a Leeds lady !! I thought somewhere like Gloucester....don't know why! Thanks for being so encouraging though, I saw a friends wife at a wedding on Sunday, and they had been trying 16 mnths, she is now 22 weeks, so all is not lost. I think I'm being impatient, and as a self confessed control freak, don'tlike that helpless feeling.

How long did it take you to get an ivf referral etc?

Now, I tink its time i ent to see who has got some pics on their profiles! I keep trying to guess what everyone is like, esp Mistlethrush, so ...

Kensgirl - if it helps, I ended up with 2 erpcs - 1 following initial mc adn one 3 months later when I finally got diagnosed - by then mp apparently made it difficult not to rupture during erpc (sorry if tmi). However, despite that, here I am with lovely ds.

I'm not that far away either! Leeds. Although Sheffield is not my favourite city following multiple visits to Weston Park Hosp.

Probably worry and stress worst problem for you - I had resigned myself to the IVF treatment so was not remotely considering that would get BFP before treatment started - so I suppose I wasn't worrying about it. I also resigned from job which I wasn't enjoying and got BFP during working my notice (crap timing from that point of view, but very welcome from the not needing IVF after all).

Also, when you do get BFP, you should be able to get some additional early scans - I got one at 6wks and one at 9wks just to make sure everything OK. 1st scan waited about an hour after appointment time - didn't have any nails left.

Thanks Mistlethrush and BabyBratt. It just feels unreal that it is me who is having problems conceiving, you laways think it will be fine.

I am going to go if this cycle doesn't work after our holiday, due to ov (if I am doing...) while we are away.

I'm a it worried that as the last one was so very wrong that I have someting wrong with my eggs, and that the ERPC has somehow damaged me, in that I could get pg very quickly, but now nothing, or that my hormonal balance is wrong.

Sounds a bit irrational when I write it down, but I'm sure you'll know what I mean.

Babybratt, I don't live too far from you, in Droylsden, we looked at houses in Wodhouses, and I passed my driving test in Failsworth! sorry to see you are having the added trauma of your business and partner, must be dificult at the moment.

wWas your GP enouraging?

Good Morning ladies, I am trying to stay positive about this whole ttc thing I do not think I have ovulated this month. My temp does not seem to be going up.

Wedding dress shopping is great when you own a shop, you get to go to a big trade fair in harrogate held next month. Most of the designers are there. Our dresses are plain because that is where we thought the gap was and it seems to have worked for us for now. I have decided to take on one issue at a time with the shop. Next years financial forecast is first and then business partner.

Kensgirl go to your doc, I have been ttc for 9 months with no joy and they are going to start me off on blood tests etc. I am really struggling to believe this will ever happen for me. We had our first anniversary in May. I go on holiday in 4 weeks and I am hoping that may help but who knows.

Have fun, and plenty of practise when away I hope! It took me 6.5months after being allowed to start again ie 23 months after initial mc and later diagnosis of mp followed by treatment. Don't get too down. What you have to tell yourself is that it happened before - this is great as it means that eg its possible for implantation to happen naturally - a major positive. After all, this sort of thing is really helpful even if you end up having to consider other assistance such as IVF. And it took me 4 years to get to top of IVF list the first time (since starting TTC) - before the mp, so I do know exactly how you're feeling right now.

Given history, don't think it would hurt seeing the Doctor early anyway - they can only say wait a bit longer, but if you don't ask you have no hope of things progressing a bit more quickly. But don't give up hope - look at me. I know I mope here a bit, but do have fantastic ds to cheer me up too. That'll be you one day!

(ds managed to recite a large part of the alphabet this morning - everything from j onwards, although a bit mumbled in places. I don't know what he thinks it is - I sing it as a song to him and I think he probably gets it at nursery too!)

Hi mistlethush! hope Dh does decide to get on with things for ou this month, it must be so frustrating for you!

I'm not too bad, a bit up and down thh, as it has been 7.5 months and 10 cycles since pmp, i truly thought we would be pg by now, so feeling a bit barren.

We are going on hols next week, to the Dominican republic, so I hope this does the trick. If not, we are now starting to talk about going to see the gp, to put the ball in motion, but not sure if he will just tell me to keep trying till 12 months are up.

hve got lots do this holiday though, 2 weddings, our 1st aniversary, sorting out a remortgage, bits in the house etc, so i'm sure I can keep busy, if can get my backside into gear !

Hiyah Kensgirl - HOw are you this morning? Still revelling in having done all school work? Are you going away somewhere sometime so that your summer holidays don't seem too long? Rather of course!

How are you feeling? I'm waiting to see if dh is going to cooperate this month or not. Not got my hopes up, but we'll see!

Good morning lovlies!

Sorry, meant to say, Hi pixie - can't advise I'm afraid, but fingers crossed that its good news for you. Do try to stop yourself testing too soon, otherwise we'll have another visit from the BlueFairy with some strong words for you.

Had 2 good news stories on this thread last month, so possibly a reasonable place to be, although some veterans might have a moan now and then - please excuse us!

BB - choc allergy doesn't seem to have helped, still need to lose quite a bit (but 3lbs down on last week this morning - probably a combination of things, but still going in the right direction at last - hurrah!).

Choc allergy unfortunately doesn't make me ill - I could probably live with that and still enjoy the occasional bit of really dark chocolate and suffer the consequences - it totally changes my mood to the extent that I become effectively another person - and the real me isn't in control. The trouble is that this has become much worse over the years and I now have to avoid all chocolate - otherwise I might end up with no job, no dh etc. And the stuff I crave is the really dark, bitter chocolate (not after the sugar or the milk - just want the bit that I'm really allergic to!).

Because of this, ds (2.3) has not yet had any chocolate - leaving him off it as long as possible to try to avoid the problem! He talked about a cake first thing this morning - I think he dreamed of making the cake that they decorated at nursery yesterday (which is rather nice, but as he could only eat a marshmallow as it was covered in chocolate icing, a bit sad too).

BB when are you going shopping? Where do you go for that sort of thing (particularly if you want more unusual 'plainer' dresses). How long do you think your BP will carry on working.

I know how hard it is when you're struggling to conceive and other people just seem to manage straight away - been there. Had the worse issue that, having had mc and molar pregnancy, then was not allowed to even try for a year - while lots of people around at work were all falling... Its difficult. Hope mumsnet helps you through.

Going to keep going with the shop and sell it as a going concern in a few months or so. At least the hard work will be worth it then.

My temp only goes up 0.2/0.3 oC. Not sure what is happening to me this month but I think I am may have been reading my OPK's wrong because I have been getting faint lines and reading them as a positive but yesterday I got a line exactly the same colour as my test line. Im not worried my cycles have been regular so I am putting this months down to stress. Fingers crossed.

I would love to have a chocolate allergy, it might make me lose weight.

Hello,

I went to the doc's on Friday have been having a lot of cramping and pain and AF is late. I did a pregnancy test at the doc's but it was negative. Apart from the cramping I've no other symptoms that I could be pregnant. I'm driving myself crazy though I'm starting to think that coz it wasn't my first morning wee then maybe it was a false negative. I'm trying to make myself wait until this Friday before testing again but I'm going nuts!

MT - Serves me right for rushing.. I got your names mixed up in the response - sorry!!

[skulks away in shame]

MT - allergic to chocolate!!!!! You poor thing!!!!

Toomuch - not my BP - BB's!

Good news is that although my cold sounds worse, I feel better than I did yesterday. Weather fantastic. Need to be at home mowing the lawn rather than doing invoices!

And I need to cut the neighbours hedge and cut away some excess soil that is against our garage that's making it leak. And I need to do some gardening in the veg garden, oh, and some weeding.

That and tidy the house, but I know which I'm more likely to do, particularly on a day like today! Not that I'm going to get to do either though.

And I'm cooking two chocolate recipies tonight, which means that I won't even get a small bit (violently allergic to chocolate). Didn't think of that when I offered to do 2 choc recipies - but its probably best for my diet.

MT -sorry to hear about your BP - at least it gives you a chance to take stock and decide what you want out of life - rather than being stuck a BP you no longer get on with..

BB - Sorry to hear about your crazy cycle this month.. I started temping this month - how much of a celcius increase is an increase IYSWIM?

The weather is fab today so feeling a bit more cheery however, like you two I am coming down with cold

Wish I'd know about a shop like you when I got married!

Mind you it was even worse for a friend that got married about 15 yrs ago - at a time when there were lots of big hooped dresses that were very flouncy on the skirts - and lots of strapless tops. She was a small size 4. Went shopping with her for dresses and she'd come out of the changing room holding top saying 'how do you keep this up?' - not a problem I have ever had I may say. Ended up with something I think was probably meant to be a bridesmaid dress although white which was much less ott than anything else.

Did like choosing silk for dress though - ended up in London at Broadwick Silks - fabulous! Also bought silk for dh's and my father's waistcoats there (same pattern, different colours - very different appearance).

At least you can sell shop as going concern - do you think that there will be much interest?

We can't afford to buy her out without taking on more debt, which we do not want to do when we are ttc.

We need to stock the shop if we want to sell it, because we still need to earn money. So I still get to go shopping.

We will get some extra money from insurance for Business interuption which would pay all the shop debt which will mean we are free to sell.

I just feel silly because everybody warned me about my BP but I trusted her but that is me all over.

I think I have almost made my decision. I will not be able to give up work if I have a baby. I wish my business partner had told me this before we started the business.

Our wedding dresses are expensive because they are all silk but they are plain because We were same when we were shopping. The service was terrible and we could not find what we wanted. Hence we looked for a gap and spotted one in Sheffield and opened the shop.