TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

Also, I wanted to ask you ladies if you believe there is a psychological element to your losses (mainly for those who have had recurrent MC).
I've just been wondering because I've been doing a lot of thinking about it myself. Some of you may remember that I had two wombs and one of them got taken out.
When I was a teen a gynae told me the womb I still have wouldn't be able to sustain a pregnancy and so I would need IVF to have children, to implant into the other womb. This was actually wrong because they misdiagnosed what my womb deformity was, and anther gynae told me a few years later (when the other womb had been removed) that I could have children naturally.
I've just been wondering if I have a mental block about being pregnant with the remaining womb; or feel like I don't deserve it or something?
Anyway, it's something I've been thinking through and trying to work on.
Just interested to know if any of you have had similar insights or thoughts?

@Mistymeow How are your boobs? If you don't mind me asking...

@frillyfarmer What your GP is saying doesn't sound right. Can you get a second opinion? Surely they still do RMC tests even if it's not your first????

@InDreamland It's hard to say yet whether it has helped with fertility. I guess technically I was perfectly fertile before as I was getting pregnant easily; it's more the keeping a pregnancy which has been a problem. Hopefully I'll have an answer in a few month's time. I do definitely feel I have benefited from it though. I think it has helped regulate me and balance my body. Some others on here who've started acupuncture have got pregnant quite quickly after starting it. I figure, it's worth a shot?

@Strawberrye I'm sorry you're struggling. I can understand why. Remind me when your chemicals happened? (I hate that word, don't you? I prefer to call mine early miscarriages). Getting the thyroid sorted is very positive and the first step you needed to take to have a successful pregnancy. But remember, you were back to square one in January, and perfectly healthy couples can take many months to conceive and that's perfectly normal (although maddening). These stories of other women having something fixed and then BAM! are encouraging and give us hope, but remember we're all different. This will happen for you when the timing is right. I believe it will happen for you. And I really hope it happens soon. I also think these women who have these amazing miracles happen are a lot more likely to share their experience online, so it gives a skewed idea of what's normal. Stay strong. Don't feel defeated. xxx
Oh, and it's so annoying and disheartening when people make that comment about "in the old days it wouldn't even be a recognised pregnancy"... Well, we don't live in the olden days, luckily, so we can make steps to stopping this happening, surely. Women back then were left with no support or advice, surely that's not how they still want to treat us??? It's like telling someone with fibroyds or something, well in the olden days they would just think you had bad periods. Maddening!!! Who cares what they thought in the past? We know better! And surely if they were having recurrent chemicals they would then be investigated for infertility anyhow... so what's the difference really? I should probably go and calm down now; rant over.

@Squiff70 Hugs. Are you getting help? Counselling? xxx

@Lilimum6 Yes, I see a line. Good luck xxx The line strength will depend when you implant. Your previous ones may have implanted a lot quicker than (hopefully) this one...

@ladybirdleaf Welcome to the thread and sorry for your losses. I would go to the GP and ask them about it and especially ask that your thyroid is checked out. xxx

I'm curious; those of you taking Vit D; is this on top of a multi-vitamin, or as well as?

I had disappointment yesterday; my pharmacy didn't have my prescription, so I'm still waiting to get it.
We may have accidentally had unprotected sex yesterday though! It sort of just happened... I think it's too early for it to result in anything. I was CD8 yesterday. Just hoping I've not done something stupid. I'm not going to think about it now, and I won't get my hopes up - it was early in my cycle. I have to say though, after months of using condoms, it was very nice.

@AliceRR af should be due in 5 days as my LP is around 15 days according to FF.

With me last 2 pregnancies I had a really good line by 9 dpo.

The pro to all this is at least I'm ovulating which until a few days ago I thought I wasn't.

@Lillimum6 I don’t think af is due for you get though, is it?

When I got pregnant with my baby girl last year I had a feeling I was pregnant as I had symptoms but the test I did a few days before af was due was negative (or line was so light I didn’t see it)

Once af was due it was a clear positive

Your tests seem to be getting darker

@frillyfarmer done frer just now but it made me none the wiser. With other pregnancies I had a much darker line. So not at all confident xx

@ladybirdleaf welcome and sorry for your losses. I also have hypothyroidism. It can definitely cause miscarriage and infertility if not treated properly. Have you had your levels tested recently? Might be worth it because pregnancy is a known trigger for making thyroid function go a bit haywire

@Lilimum6 that deffo looks like a line to me!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how are you getting on?

@ladybirdleaf my Fertility specialist told me that thyroid problems can have an impact on mc and decided to medicate me with 25mg of thyroxine to help prevent mc. However I still had a mc in February, but without testing didn't know if it was thyroid linked or poor egg quality. If you are being medicated for your thyroid I wouldn't worry too much just make sure you take it at a different time to other meds including conception vitamins as they can stop it working. It wouldn't harm having a chat with you gp if you are still concerned xx

@ladybirdleaf

I’m sorry for your losses. This is a really supportive thread.

I don’t know how it works with consecutive early mc as I had a full term loss (my baby girl was stillborn in Feb) but I’m sure some of the other ladies will be able to help

I would have thought it is worth speaking to your GP anyway to get any support you can but I believe they do take into account that you’ve had a successful pregnancy xx

Morning everyone! I've come over to join you if that is ok as I've just started miscarrying I was about 5.5 weeks pregnant.

This is my third miscarriage, I also had one at about 6.5 weeks pregnant and one at about 4.5 weeks. Happily I also have a wonderful DD who is 3.

I haven't had a chance to read back the old posts yet so apologies if this has been covered, but is it worth going to the GP yet for testing? I know they don't test until you have had 3 miscarriages but do they need to be consecutive (my first was before my DD was born)?

I also have an underactive thyroid, diagnosed after my DD was born, and I'm wondering if that might be complicating things.

@Lilimum6 I can see a line in the inverted one

@AliceRR what do you think

@Mistymeow Thank you. That’s so wrong about your friends with the car v mc! It must be quite difficult with so many of your friends pregnant too.

Thank you @fnej01 Hope you are ok

@Lillimum6 I think I can see a faint line on your 10dpo one. Can you invert the picture like some people do and then it often shows up more clearly (I don’t know how to do it)

@Lilimum6 I can see a faint line on the 10dpo. 🤞x

@Laney79 congratulations wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

Sorry for those of you having a tough time. I haven't managed to keep up with the thread but thinking of you @frillyfarmer @Russkispy.

@Squiff70 @AliceRR Ladies you are so strong!

@Mistymeow I completely get the challenges of pregnant friends at the moment. I am having to avoid a friend who is due anytime as her dates fall between mc 2 and mc3 and I just can't cope well with it.

@KnitKitty I completely get the prescription excitement. Have found it really hard this month now we have a diagnosis not TTC. DH put his foot down as doesn't want to ruin honeymoon. Ovulated yesterday so counting down to CD1 and being back in the TTC game.

Sorry to anyone I've missed. I hope you are all having a nice relaxing long weekend x

@Mistymeow I'm sorry your low hunxx
Maybe your time away will help you heal.

OK ladies waiting for frers to arrive today. But the in last 3 days I've done hpt from savers. One 8dpo and 10dpo. I see a line on the 10dpo one (it looks loads pinker in real life and my camera is rubbish ) what do you think. Second pic is 10dpo (today)

@strawberrye that must be very disheartening. Are you eligible for ivf? What’s the news with your Tommy’s referral? It sounds like you need more support from the healthcare professionals. It helps so much to know the doctors have a plan for us, rather than saying “just keep trying.” Do you have a good GP?
@frillyfarmer what a lovely gesture from your friend. It makes such a difference. When I lost my second I got the “I’m sorry” and a wall of silence. At the same time my friend’s cat died (which is very sad of course) but the reaction to her losing a pet was such a contrast to how I was treated. “We shouldn’t send pics of our cats on the WhatsApp group etc” yet people continued to talk and send me pics of their babies. It’s so hard. I hope you are feeling ok today. I really enjoy your swearing!
@alicerr @squiff70 you have both been through so much. It’s such a difficult road but your strength amazes me. No advice but I have a few penguins to send your way 🐧🐧🐧🐧
@indreamland thanks for asking, I’m ok just waiting for first af which is due tomorrow! Planning to celebrate by aggressively digging up the garden :p
@laney79 all ok today?
@myheart hope the pain is subsiding.

I spent the day with a couple and she is one week ahead of where I would have been. She had a little bump. They were very sensitive and I asked a few standard questions. I felt ok but it was a constant reminder. We told our friends we can’t see them all together (because they are all pregnant) but it’s ok one to one. I don’t want people to pity us as that poor infertile couple who keep losing babies but at the same time it hurts to see them all bonding over baby stuff. I’m so glad we are leaving the country for a month, it’s what we need.

@frillyfarmer, thank you for the much-needed hugs! I'm so glad the flowers from your friend gave you a bit of a lift at what is such a crappy time for you.

@AliceRR, I hear you completely. I'm so with you on this journey xx

@Squiff70 Thank you. I’m 35 with no living children and have had similar thoughts of it taking time to conceive and what if more goes wrong before it goes right?! It’s scary but I really want to have (living) children so I’m on for the ride and hoping for the best.

@frillyfarmer Thank you and hugs to you too. Sometimes its when the worst things happen that you see the best in people. In a weird way even though I’d lost my daughter I have felt blessed to have the friends and family that I have and my husband. I think most people go through some kind of loss and pain in their lives but not everyone has real love and support around them. It’s good that you can be grateful for what you have at a sh*tty time xx

@Squiff70 and @AliceRR hugs to you both. I have no advice or helpful things to say, but I'm thinking of you both and sending my love.

I arrived home today to a beautiful bunch of flowers from a friend and it really lifted me. There are a lot of selfish cunts in my life and I've spent too long this year focussed on them, I've forgotten how many genuine friends I have, trying to build me back up again.

Four days bleeding and a negative pregnancy test for me. I've spent hours down a worm hole reading research papers on hyper fertility and I wonder whether I could be experiencing something like that. I've decided I'm just going to continue tracking CM and crack on again now. My GP won't do anything until I've had three losses so I might as well face this head on and hope third time lucky - it'll either be a baby or an RMC referral. I'm not bitter or angry today, I've had a good day in good company and I'm absolutely fucking blessed to have my toddler and my husband.

Love to you all tonight penguins 🐧

@AliceRR Thank you for your reply. Your thoughts, feelings and emotions around TTC again are completely understandable and justified. I'm nearly 37 and have no surviving children so the pressure is on to get cracking, if you see what I mean. I keep thinking what if it takes 6-12 months to conceive and God forbid the same thing happens - that's another one to two years out of my life. Sometimes in life, when we're ready to, we have to scrape ourselves off the floor and carry on no matter how hard it is.

Don't put pressure on yourself but equally don't beat yourself up about it being "too soon" - it's only too soon if YOU feel it is and screw what other people might think. Having another baby would not be replacing Ruby - you could never and will never replace her, but hopefully you will be able to give her a little brother or sister in time... at the right time for YOU.

@Squiff70 I’m sorry you have had a difficult few days. I have too actually. For me I feel it has taken this long (baby was born in Feb) for everything to sink in and it feels like, whilst it was hard before, to some degree it hadn’t sunk in and so didn’t hurt as much. Now I feel a knot in my stomach and sometimes I feel like I’ll never feel ok again. I share this in case it stinks a chord with you. Try to be kind to yourself, don’t put pressure on yourself and surround yourself with people who support you or help you feel better (if there is anyone like that) and try to avoid anything you can that make sense you feel worse. That’s what has helped me. I’m still on mat leave and I know I’m not ready to go back to work. Tonight I couldn’t even bring myself to go shopping and make dinner so we had a take away (I do cook most days so it’s not so bad).

I have mixed emotions about conceiving too. I worry it’s too soon but I also worry I might have difficulty conceiving and more so if I wait. I worry I’m just trying to replace Ruby as really I want her but I know she’s not coming back and I always wanted children. Some days I feel laid back about it and other times I worry I will never have a living child but I don’t think that’s so unusual xx

Hi ladies,

I'm sorry I've not posted for ages. I am watching but really struggling. On Monday it finally hit me that I'd lost my twins (in January at 19 weeks gestation). I cried for about 4 hours straight and since then I've felt hung over. I wasn't and haven't been drinking but it feels like my head is full of boiling water and I'm finding it hard to drag myself out of bed in the mornings.

This week is my FW and we're going through the motions and I'm trying my best to put my heart in it but I just feel so... lost. I AM ready to conceive again, but I'm full of different emotions right now.

Huge congrats to those of you who've had BFPs. I wish you all a very healthy and happy 40 weeks and beyond!