TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

@Bluebelltulip yeah maybe but not holding on to any hope at all. These been no progression in the line darkness either. All symptoms have gone and I just have AF type feelings now.

In future I'm not testing until after I'm at least 3 days late.

@lilimum6 sorry to hear that but aren't you still before AF due? At this stage HCG is very easily diluted. I'd wait to see if AF does arrive and test in a few days.

All changed x

Well that was really the shortest pregnancy I've had so far.

Negative cbfm test and frer rediculously lighter than yesterday's. So just waiting for the bleeding to start now.

I truely don't know how much I can take now I'm so sad and fed up of this journey now.
Needless to say I am changing my name to lilimum7 now.

@InDreamland I'm glad you had a good evening but I'm sorry it was bittersweet for you. How are you and DH getting on after his appointment?

I'm angry today, just wanted to watch the news before work but obvious bother GMB and the beeb have got a load of fusty royal correspondents to comment on inane aspects of the royal baby.

I've stopped bleeding, so my job today is to get another appointment with my GP, push for another set of swabs to rule out an infection and then see what else he has to say. I don't want to wait for this to happen a third time before I'm taken seriously, especially as the attitude is that I can't be broken cos I've got one child already. I'm going to request a different GP I think.

@Mistymeow how's the garden? Hope you didn't need to aggressively dig. You're very strong, I'm not sure I can cope spending any time with pregnant friends or colleagues or babies.

@Lilimum6 fx this is the start of a stronger line and a sticky bean.

@Laney79 those lines are so lovely and strong. Hope this one sticks.

@Frillyfarmer @Russkispy thinking of you. Sending lots of hugs. Hope you're being looked after.

Sorry not to mention everyone I'm rubbish at keeping up with a fast moving thread. Sorry not been on for 48 hours, it's been a very busy long weekend. Had a lovely late lunch with a friend yesterday before we went to see Take That at the O2. Gosh I love those guys so much, amazing evening, I enjoy every concert I see them. So had a lie in this morning to recover from the concert and then had lots of house stuff to sort out and did a bit of holiday planning. The news about the royal baby has hit me hard and made me all angry and upset again. It's just so unfair how some can have it so easy, get married and within a year pop out a healthy baby. We'll be marking our 6th wedding anniversary on Saturday and will again be well aware of the fact that we've been trying since we got back from honeymoon........only this year not only will be say we have no baby but that we've also had 2 losses now. Life sucks! I hate the world sometimes. Even last night at the concert I couldn't help thinking this would probably have been the first evening I left what should have been our 14 week old baby with DH and I'd be all anxious about it .......or I should be at the concert almost 30 weeks pregnant and maybe not exerting myself so much waving arms and jumping around. Why me?

@moonpeace Dtd twice in fertile period and then a day either side.

This month I think I ov on CD14 so my fertile period according to Ovia is cd9-14. We dtd in cd 8, 10, 13, 15 but that was partly by accident because I didn’t realise til CD13-14 that I think I ov then (earlier than I thought) but I could have got my ov day wrong!

I like Meghan and I loved watching their wedding. I think I would have been so excited about the royal baby if my baby had lived but in the circumstances I’m just not! I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Have they said why they're recommending it @moonpeace? It's a difficult one because it's a decent chunk of money especially when your NHS consultant hasn't recommended it? Can I ask what other tests you've had done and what the outcome was? My GP seemed really dismissive of doing anything at this stage as I have a living child with the same partner and I've "only" had 2 MC so it could just be "bad luck". Have you found any resistance to testing etc because of your DC?

And the royal baby has arrived and my phone has already started sending me breaking news story. Deleted the shitty bounty app who also had the audacity to send me a notification on it.

No doubt everyone's news feeds and social media will be filled with it, how do you avoid the world whilst they get over baby mania?!

@Lilimum6 that's looking good - I'm hoping and praying this is it for you!

@Lilimum6 I had a stinking dark line at 10DPO this last MC, and my DS was a squinter until after AF due. Try to relax, hope this is your sticky! X

@Laney79 AF is due Friday hun. I'll just have to wait and see. Mantra ' I'm pregnant today'

@Laney79 yes hun clearblue monitor. But the frer are still vvl so I'm not feeling confident

So this happened this morning. I'm not convinced yet as it's only 11dpo and the lines on frer aren't getting any darker. I'm just praying it's not another chemical.
Really thought I'd be excited and desperately wanted to be pregnant before my due date it 2 days, but all I can think is how will it end this time. 7 pregnancies and no baby kind of kills the joy. If I can make it to 12 weeks I'll celebrate x
I'm sorry to sound so ungrateful, I am happy but mostly scared if I'm honest.

Oh and yes @Mistymeow I think we should be eligible for IVF, we are both late 20s, non smokers, BMI 20-21, no children. I will be interested to hear what professor quenby has to say about if/when we should be pursuing the fertility route.

@KnitKitty they were January 2018, April 2018 and November 2018. It seems like it is taking us longer and longer to get pregnant so I wonder if there is some immune aspect of it? Thank you for your rant, it has made me feel better that I'm not the only one frustrated by those comments.

Interesting points about the psychological aspect. I don't think you can think yourself into having miscarriage if you know what I mean - when we started TTC I believed we would get pregnant quickly and easily haha!! But I agree I think there is an element of intuition. I am a bit skeptical about the visualisation aspects as I always can see myself being heavily pregnant, breastfeeding, giving birth even - though I have never experienced any of these things - and it hasn't got me success yet! However it can't harm to positively reaffirm to ourselves - unless it makes the disappointment every month more difficult. I agree as well it is important to acknowledge there is no evidence stress causes miscarriage, because there is enough self blame in loss as it is.

Thanks for the nice words, I feel a bit better today.
@knitkitty don’t mind you asking at all! Nowhere near as painful and lump seems to be going down, so I’m hoping to avoid the breast clinic.
@lilimum6 can see that line quite easily, tentatively excited for you!

The psychological aspect is interesting. I think I agree with @fnej01 in that there is an element of intuition. Or perhaps we look for these things with the benefit of hindsight as a way of trying to understanding that seemingly impossible question- why me? I found it fascinating when the sonographer told me that when my miscarriage was confirmed, the mind has a way of catching up to the body and I would probably start bleeding. There is a connection. I have also read (might be nhs site, so reputable) that women with a history of miscarriage who have extra scans in early pregnancy generally have better outcomes. But then I have also been told that stress in itself does not cause miscarriage, which is very important to realise.

@Mistymeow it is really disheartening. I think I have been pinning a pot of hope onto acupuncture and my thyroid being normal now (and a recent holiday) but it seems literally nothing I do is helping. Thankfully our Tommy's appointment is next month - my GP is generally good but I had a nightmare with the secretaries getting the referral sent. It was written for 6 weeks before they sent it to the right place! Frustrating because I would have been seen by Tommy's by now otherwise. Anyway sorry I'm being a Negative Nancy. I really feel though that life could cut me some slack and give me some luck in this TTC game for once!

I totally understand what you mean about feeling like that poor couple who everyone feels sorry for because they can't have a baby, and everyone else is. It sucks and I'm sorry you are feeling that way. Where are you off to for a month? Sounds like a lovely opportunity to get away from it all

So many bfps since I was last on! Congratulations! Fingers crossed all goes well this time for you all!

@Laney79 that is such good timing before you started IVF! Your line progression is looking good too :)

@KnitKitty I understand where you are coming from with the psychological. After MC one I was convinced I would end up having 3 and being at RMC, low and behold 6 months later I was there. I do think sometimes you attract your future. On the other hand now with two diagnoses I wonder if my intuition was just telling me
I had something wrong as I am generally fairly in tune with myself. I do think that the mind is a powerful thing tho, and do sometimes. try to visualise myself with my baby in my arms, just in case I can attract it. All a bit hippy I know x