TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

Thanks everyone, it really is the worst thing ever.

I can't seem to get passed the 8 weeks 5 day mark, has anybody else had this? I've seen heartbeats 3 times now but baby has never measured bigger than 8 weeks 5 days. I think I read somewhere that if it was chromosome related it wouldn't get that far but who knows. I'm having ERPC and they will send the tissue off for testing so I guess that's a 'positive' in all of this.

Sorry for your loss @Pop1234 It’s devastating and life is cruel

@Pop1234 I remember you hun. I'm so so sorry this has happened again. There are no words. Sending you healing thoughts xxx

@strawberrye I would have assumed it was that except period is due a week today. It’s possible it will be early I suppose

@Lilumim7 Thank you & hugs to you

@Mistymeow It is hard but I understand it. She was real for me from the moment I know I was pregnant and I felt her move soon into the second trimester so I did know and love her. He felt her move a few times but it’s not the same. In “normal” circumstances it doesn’t matter as the baby is born healthy and everyone loves the baby. I know her cares and I know he’s have loved her if she were here. I think he is trying to protect himself as he finds it hard to see her pictures etc and wouldn’t hold her. I think we’re doing ok x

@Pop1234 oh I'm so sorry. Sadly very similar to what I went through in my second mmc (positive scan at 6 weeks, heartbeat gone at 10 weeks, died two weeks earlier). It is cruel and heartbreaking. I'm very sorry. I hope you have a good support network around you and that your EPU are being helpful. Sending so much love x
@lilimum7 yes I may call my GP up to see what he thinks. That's very difficult behaviour from your partner. It must be so hard for you to deal with when he reacts in such a way. I hope you're able to have a heart to heart.
@alicerr gosh that's hard to hear. But they don't feel it like we do. He could well be stopping himself from loving her because it hurts too much. That's not an uncommon reaction. Whereas our love is automatic because we are so physically and emotionally connected. I hope you are both getting help. I hear lots of good things about SANDS.
@strawberrye California is definitely a special place. We went last year too, it really made a huge difference to my mental state (my husband has work in SF, I tend to tag along!). Yes I know what you mean about seeing the specialists. They say for recurrent miscarriage sufferers in 50% of cases no known cause is found. I'm prepared for that. But I need to make sure there is nothing medically wrong with me before we do IVF- want to give it our best shot. When I saw our ivf doc she didn't even do any tests on me- she said to her colleague "there's nothing wrong with her, it's him". And pointed to DH. Out of context it sounds mean but it was actually very funny (DH has known about his condition since he was 19). Humour is needed at times during this long slog! I really hope you get some positive news and there is plan. I haven't done a pregnancy test since saturday but more should arrive on friday.

I may post my chart up as a new thread, see if any other mumsnetters can help. Now I'm getting EWCM and ovulation pain, totally crazy. Maybe I didn't ovulate before and my body is trying again.

@Pop1234 I remember you and am really sorry to hear your devastating news

Big hugs @Pop1234 I have no idea why life is so cruel

Hello everyone.

Don't know who will remember me, but I'm jumping back on. After two really positive scans at 6 and 8 weeks, I've been for a 10 week scan today and had miscarriage number 4 😢 everything seemed so positive compared to before and I was measuring exactly to my dates. What is life so cruel? 😢

@AliceRR I had that 4 out of 7 pregnancies
Might be a good sign hun x

@lilimum7 really sorry to hear your news and that DH isn't being supportive. I really hope that the RMC will be able to bring you some hope and peace

@Mistymeow I'm interested to hear what Prof Quenby has to say about IVF. I am pinning so much hope on this appointment but am terrified of being let down again so have been feeling quite anxious this past week or so as it draws nearer, not sleeping as well etc. I think I will feel better if I have a back up plan. DH and I agreed last night to go private if Coventry is a let down. I work in the NHS and I feel some of the private recurrent miscarriage specialists are quite sketchy (bordering on cowboyish) based on what treatments they offer but I don't think we'll have any other option. Hopefully we won't need to go down that route but I think having a contingency plan is helpful psychologically.

I'm off to San Francisco too in the summer, lets hope the Californian air works some magic for the both of us! Regarding your chart and symptoms, have you taken a pregnancy test at all?

@AliceRR I had traces of blood like that from 12dpo-14dpo last cycle, never had it before but might be something similar? I was hoping it might be implantation bleeding but it just turned into a period

@moonpeace Men are on the outside when it comes to pregnancy and carrying a child. It’s not just recurrent loss it’s any loss. I carried a child to term and held her and everything but still DH has admitted he doesn’t love her as he does his other (living) children as he didn’t know her and he never knew her alive. We had her with us for a bit after she was born so he saw her and everything but it’s very different for him and it’s hard for me as he has two other children whom he loves and I feel I have nothing. He has been good in lots of ways but I feel alone in my grief x

I think I’m 11dpo and had traces of blood when I wiped this afternoon. I don’t usually get they between periods and didn’t have implantation bleeding with my first pregnancy. Haven’t dtd for a few days either so it’s not that - anyone had this? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@moonpeace I'm the same - my DH had no fucking idea until he was born. TBF I think he has been a lot more sympathetic to these losses because of my first pregnancy - he understands a bit more about it now he's done the whole doting father thing. But he's still on the outside of the mindless research and questions that go round and round in my head.

@xJune88 I'm glad you've posted, gives me a bit more hope, just finished my second MC and I am feeling a bit desperate about everything right now.

No @moonpeace it was all very shocking just presumed at 24 I'd have a healthy pregnancy, first was a natural mc at 7 weeks and second was missed at 14weeks baby died a couple of weeks earlier, was booked in for surgical but all failed and was very traumatic. Got pregnant 6 weeks after mmc and had bleeding with clots until 17 weeks and was positive I'd lost this one too but was a extra chronic hemorrhage which had gone by 20 week scan. Shes wiggling away right now and I'm due in 5 days. Didn't do anything different at all was just offered alot of scans by epu x

@Lilimum7 so sorry - praying this isn't the worst for you but we're here for you if it is

Sorry @Lillimum7 it’s a massive generalisation but I think men don’t know how to deal with these things sometimes or what to say and it could be as simple as he’s tired and moody

Vent on here if you need to!

Sorry to hear you aren't getting much support at home @lilimum7, linking into what moonpeace said I don't think it seems as real to them but it doesn't mean that he can't support you.

Hi all, sorry you all find yourself in this shit situation I remember it very very well. Just been having a tidy and I have about 100 opks and 4 one step pregnancy tests. I've had 2 losses myself and am currently heavily pregnant so they are no good to me. Let me know if you would like them and I'll post them to you, don't mind splitting them if people are happy to share. Leanne x

@Mistymeow definitely worth a chat with epu or gp hun even if it just for reassurance.

Thanks ladies for all your kind words. Shame it's not the same at home ( I basically live with Sheldon Cooper from big bag) not what I needed, resulting in a huge argument and we're not even speaking now. When I informed him that the pg had failed he said sorry and then proceeds to tell me how bad his night at work will be and that he's going to go snooze on the sofa. Which he did all day and then he explodes when I accidentally woke him. Needless to say not the best situation at the moment. I know he's up set be he only knew for 24 hours, I didn't tell him until I was sure. I so cross and upset with him right now.

Any who how are all you ladies doing?

Oops, forgot to add my chart

@strawberrye your Tommy’s appointment sounds promising, really hope you get some answers. It’s also very good you are eligible for ivf. Our fertility consultant is waiting to see what the rmc say before we start ivf but so far my blood results haven’t shown anything abnormal. I’m off to San Francisco so it should be very relaxing and positive for me, really looking forward to it.
@lilimum7 I’m really sorry. It’s very timely you have your appointment soon. I know you were concerned about your low bbt this cycle so that would be worth mentioning. I hope you’re coping ok.
@laney79 symptoms sound promising!
@indreamland sorry you are still feeling so upset. I wish there was more we could do to help but I think it’s very hopeful now that you have had treatment for the infection your dh had. Fingers crossed this cycle.

Sorry to see new joiners but between us all I think we have a wealth of advice and support for you.

I’m worried. 8 weeks now and no af since erpc. Cramps, but nothing. FF has taken my crosshairs off. Still have the breast lump. My chart does look ovulatory to me. Any ideas? I scrapped my temps earlier in the month because I was abroad and the room was hot, and I think it was a failed ovulation attempt.

@Lilimum7 I’m so sorry. Look after yourself xx