TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

@TinyPaws sending you and your partner positive vibes for tomorrow and hoping for the best outcome xx

@MistyMeow I had a lump in my left breast and I had surgery on it. It terrified me but it was all fine hun just a lump and I've had more come and go often. I'm just a lumpy person. Cysts can be drained if they are causing pain. I've had a few of them. They really are nothing to worry about. I hope your appointment comes quickly. Sending you positive thoughts

@Knitkitty Fingers crossed for you!

@Pop1234 Sorry you're back here again.

@Lilimum7 Sorry your partner has been less than supportive. They really don't know what we go through and miscarriage can put a massive strain on even a strong relationship. And sorry you had a tough day yesterday. At lunchtime at work it was all baby this and baby that, mostly from colleagues who just assume that they will get pregnant and carry to term as soon as they decide to start trying (and they probably will).

@InDreamland You're not a loser. The longing for a living child is like nothing else I've ever experienced.

@FrilleyFarmer Glad you've got good people in my life.

@AliceRR Fingers crossed those are early pregnancy symptoms, not AF.

@MistyMeow Sorry to hear your husband experienced something similar. It's so stressful. And fingers crossed for your trip to the breast clinic - if it feels like a cyst it probably is a cyst but understandable to be worried.

I am so stressed out about tomorrow it's unreal. Had a massive cry earlier this morning. So much for being all zen and calm.

@Mistymeow Yes exactly it could be really be either so it’s just annoying and confusing. I’m 26 DPO and cycle is usually 31/32 days. I have been quite regular since the birth - got first period in less than 28 says, first af lasted 8 says but cycle was 34 says and then onto second cycle where af last four says so seemed “normal” and thought this would be a 31/32 day cycle. I haven’t had spotting otherwise but it still is only my second cycle so my body could still be all over. And my cramping is getting worse...

I really hope you’re ok. Hopefully it is nothing serious but it’s natural to be worried especially if it is causing bad memories. I hope you get an appointment date asap

@tinypaws that’s so stressful and terrible timing. DH went through the same and went all out to get a new job. He got a better one and is in a much happier place. Hope she can get out of there soon, it’s such a difficult time.
@knitkitty hooray for 2ww, I am also sending good vibes towards your womb (that probably sounds quite creepy!)
@laney79 that’s very interesting, thanks for sharing. Are you going to request progesterone? I might enquire if/when I get a bfp.
@lilimum7 sorry it’s a due date and yes the obsession over the new royal baby is crackers. I just switch over the news when it comes on. What a bore.
@alicerr how many dpo? It could be an implantation bleed. Although it is quite common to have a wacky cycle a couple of months after giving birth.

I’m not really doing too well. GP has referred me to the breast clinic for an ultrasound. He said it felt very cyst like but it’s so easy to have it checked out properly. It’s really stressing me out. There is no breast cancer in the family but I lost my dad and my ex boyfriend to cancer within a year and it’s bringing back some terrible memories. I know I need to calm down but I can’t help but think the worst, as the statistics haven’t been on my side lately. At least I will get an appointment within two weeks.

@Bluebelltulip Thanks. I thought I’d test if AF late (and try not to test before then) but hadn’t considered af could come early!

I still feel hormonal so probably getting more easily stressed about this... Cue Netflix and chocolate 🙈

@AliceRR it could be early AF or implantation, I guess it's just wait and see. I hate it when things are unclear. Hope you can distract yourself while you are waiting.

@TinyPaws Sorry to hear that. It doesn’t help.

I don’t know what’s going on with my body today. Period is due in about a week. I’m always regular and don’t spot between periods usually even since I gave birth in Feb.

Yesterday had some sorry if TMI (not sure why we say this as we are all about TMI) pink spotting then brown discharge and this morning some pink spotting, all only when wiping.

No idea what to think. DH thinks period has come early and funnily enough was telling me only a day or two ago he thinks my period is due imminently as I am hormonal! I told him I’m hormonal for about a week before af and felt like this before I found out I was pregnant last time.

I have cramping too so expecting af probably early 🤷🏻‍♀️

@KnitKitty good luck 🤞 hun really rooting for you xx oh and I love the womb pep talk thing. I might give that a try xx

So yesterday was horrible. It was My due date (yep another one) and I hid indoors with the TV off. Is it bad of me to not want to hear about the royal baby every 2 minutes. Or am I being selfish. Not really feeling nice thoughts towards the royals to yesterday. But I guess with another due date and an on going loss at the same time I can't be blamed for being a bit sour about all the baby news.

How are you ladies today?

@Lilimum7 So sorry.

@fnej01 I do the same thing; trying to visualise being pregnant or having a baby in my arms. Sometimes it's difficult to imagine it.

@Mistymeow I hope you can avoid the breast clinic too, but look after yourself, if you need to go, you need to go. (But I hope you don't).
Yeah, I've been told stress has no impact on MC too. But I think that's different to deep-rooted beliefs. JUST in case it helps, I've been working on telling my womb I know it can do it and we are going to get pregnant (yes, I treat my womb like a team-mate and give it pep-talks )

@strawberrye Thank you, your words are very comforting. I don't think self-blame is at all helpful, and I know plenty of women who didn't believe they could get pregnant doing so... I guess it's one of those things were it doesn't hurt to think positive and work on your inner fears, but also knowing that it's probably all just 'luck' or 'fate'.

As for me ladies, I am officially entering my first TWW in 7 months!!!
We've had unprotected sex twice in FW (I highly recommend using condoms for a few months; sex feels amazing once you're unprotected again ) and I think I might be ovulating today from the feel of things. I think I'll be due AF around the 24th, so we'll see.
After 7 months of waiting around to be able to TTC again, the TWW doesn't seem so bad right now... Although remind me I said that in a week's time!
I also FINALLY got my medication from the hospital yesterday and started it. I'm hoping it'll be perfect timing.
Feeling really positive right now, so going to try and hold on to this feeling.
And I think I'll be OK this month if it doesn't work. I'd rather it take a while and for the outcome to be a successful one than get pregnant quickly again but lose another one.
Fingers crossed.

Sorry everyone's having such a rough time. To pile on, we found yesterday my partner is facing a disciplinary at work. It looks like her manager is gunning for a dismissal. She has no previous disciplinary record. It's all extremely stressful and if she loses this job the financial implications are huge.

@Frillyfarmer Oh gosh some people don’t know what it is to be a friend. Maybe she is worried it will happen to her but she should be a friend to you. Sorry you are dealing with that. It doesn’t help

@AliceRR I'd love to think she was, but we're both very very honest straight talking people, so honestly I think she's just selfish. When I told her about my second MC after she said how sorry she was, she asked what my symptoms were as she hoped it didn't happen to her.

@Frillyfarmer Do you think your friend is trying to be sensitive because she is pregnant? I understand as my good friend who is pregnant hasn’t been in touch for a while and I don’t know whether she is trying to do the right thing or it just hasn’t occurred to her to stay in touch. Sometimes people don’t know what to say or do

I'm sending love to everyone, it seems like this group is going through a real low point at the moment.

My pregnant friend (one of my closest) has dropped off the face of the earth since I told her about my second MC (I would have been 4/5weeks behind her). Complete radio silence - I've been there for her, wallowing in her self pity because it took her four whole months to get knocked up, and I don't get so much as a "how are you".

After a shitty stressful day I arrived home to not one but two bunches of flowers this evening. I haven't broadcast my MC but had told some friends and I'm just comforted to know that I actually have so many lovely people in my life.

I also found out today I have a friend who is in a very similar situation. Misery loves company but my concern is one of us carries a healthy pregnancy and leaves the other in this pit of misery, alone. I'm genuinely thrilled of the BFPs on this thread because I know you're all going through a horrible time. But more selfishly - I don't know you and you will never rub your pregnancies in my face. I'm angry with people around me, all happy and pregnant and oblivious. I have to live them every day trying not to be jealous.

@moonpeace @InDreamlans Yes I get it’s different for them there just seems to be a lot of unequal footing as I’m the mother and I feel it more plus he has other children and that’s making things harder for both of us. He explained to me once how he knows how much I love Ruby and it went like this: “When DS1 was born I loved him so much... then when DS2 was due I worried I would never love him as much as DS1 but he DS2 born and I loved him just as much...” I was expecting “... and then Ruby was born...” but the sorry stopped there. He said he was trying to tell me he knows how much I love Ruby as he loves his sons so much. I mean really if he feels that way, so be it, but why say that supposedly in an attempt to make me feel better?! Sorry I am rambly now and hormonal.

We are having counselling and we’ve been to Sands meetings to talk and there’s a woman whom I met online through Sands whom I exchange messages every day. We have a lot in common as we lost our babies around the same time in a very similar way and they also just bought a house around the same time as us and TTC #2 as we are so speaking to her is a big help as well as you lot obviously 💗 I’m ok just having a tough week

@InDreamland It’s hard to know when to test isn’t it as we want to know but then there are advantages to waiting... I’ve been having weird cramps and stuff so who knows

@moonpeace from what I can gather evidence is really unclear about age and egg quality. It almost seems like 35 (I am 35) is an arbitrary figure and things vary so much from person to person. Someone mentioned on the over 35 TTC thread that they’d been baby bombed by someone who is having their first at 51! 😬 But I know we all want answers for everything.

@FirstTimeMama91 I attempted tempting this month and gave up as I think you’re supposed to do it around the same time every day, have your mouth closed for a bit before you put the thermometer in, not really move or sit up before you do it... I kept forgetting and then got up to go to the loo or whatever and missed the opportunity. I know other women are quite capable though so it might just be a case of getting into a routine with it

Sorry for your losses guys- I'm coming up to a year after my due date would have been for the little boy I know it coz it's the day before my wedding anniversary! After that and 2 CPs in the last two months I really hope this one is ok and sticks around I ideally wanted to be pregnant with a healthy baby before I turn 35 in 8 months time!! Xx

@firsttimemama91 it's so hard to get those dates out of your head isn't it. And usually I'm crap at remembering dates!
Sorry for your loss too, you're right we will get there xx

@ladybirdleaf it's crap. Sorry for your loss. I would've been 12 weeks this week and had planned how I was going to tell everyone. And our booking appointment was meant to be tomorrow too. All these wee milestones make it hard.

Hoping we'll all get our rainbow happiness we deserve xx

@firsttimemama91 I'm waiting for AF too it's awful. In theory I should be about 6 weeks now but the lines on pregnancy tests are now down to almost nothing (having had strong BFPs from 10 DPO before it all started to go wrong again ). Yet I'm still not bleeding, I don't get what's going on.

@Mistymeow thank you. Had another cry today at work. I'm so emotional recently. We're away this weekend for our anniversary so hoping that gives me a lift.

@xJune88 congratulations on your pregnancy and fx all goes smoothly for the birth.

@Pop1234 I'm so sorry you're back here with us. I remember you too. I hope you are being looked after. Guess you will get RMC referral now. This is so unfair and shit isn't it.

@AliceRR @Lilimum7 sorry your DHs aren't giving the support or understanding you need. Men sadly don't have that same bond because it's not their body that carries the baby but also they can be so rubbish at showing how they really feel. Hugs for you both.

@strawberrye a trip to somewhere warm will be great, hopefully it helps. DH said the same as you about a lot of private clinics look like dodgy cowboy outfits - glad we found the Lister which is well regarded.

I need to stop crying. Crying lots this week. Am 5 or 6 dpo today and have been getting more jabbing and pulling sensations in the lower abdomen, it's driving me mad. As I went crazy and bought loads of IC I'll be poas from Saturday I think although probably a bad idea as will ruin our anniversary when I see a BFN. I'm such a loser.

Waiting for AF after mc is driving me nuts. POAS every few days for nothing. I might try temping. I've got a wee thermometer so do you just put it in your mouth every morning before you get out of bed? Then it goes high then dips during ovulation?

@Pop1234 Awk I'm so sorry for your loss. It's terrible. You will get through this xx