TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

So I have a test for the morning, worried it will be bfn now though as I've had mild cramping

Name essexgirlupnortj
Age 38
TTC#2 since September 2016
MMC Jan 19 baby 13 weeks baby measured 7

Cycle two since my miscarriage now in two week weight after getting a peak on my monitor Sunday and Monday.

Not getting my hopes up as was inconsolable when AF turned up last month just want to be pregnant again and scared it will.newver happen. Also two pregnancy announcements in last week one having twins who already has two girls and one who was adamant she was never having any kids but has changed her mind which must be really hard on her best friend who is desperate for a child and unlikely to have one because of endometriosis.

Hope I'm OK joining

37 TTC #1
Miscarriage at 7weeks Dec 2018

TTC since then with fairly regular cycles since although last month was a short one at 24 days so didn't really know when ovulated this month (not been tracking).

Did a bit of secret POAS this morning and pretty sure I got a BFP although don't think I read it in time so can't be sure. DH came upstairs so hid the test in wardrobe and by the time he went back downstairs it was over the 5min window.

Going to test again in the morning but just wondered how everyone else copes with the anxiety after a MC. I know there is nothing that can be done to prevent it happening again but can already feel myself starting to worry. I run regularly, do I need to ease back on this or just carry on as normal?

Was really sad/disappointed that only one friend recognised that Mother's Day might be hard for me. Not one family member acknowledged it.

Bled for two weeks thinking it was happening naturally, but it didn't... so then had the op. Bled for two weeks after. Then got put on antibiotics for suspected infection.

Had really sore boobs last few days -flipping agony, noticed EWCM yesterday, but then some bleeding yesterday arvo/eve. Nothing overnight, but bleeding again today. I am so very confused by my body right now!!!

Pregnancy tests are coming back negative.

I just want to get back to some sense of normality. This has all been so dragged out.

Hi,
Can I join...
30 TTC number 1
Miscarriage at 12 weeks in July 2018

TTC since then, cycles have just returned to a consistent length.

1st month of using ovulation test.
Currently 5dpo

@ale2992 fx for when you do test.

@Mistymeow @Raincart2017 thank you. We had a long chat last night and I think he is finally understanding why I'm so upset and angry. He says he feels terrible so I have to trust him that in future he'll listen to me and everything will now be a proper team effort.

@Keyboard91 sorry you find yourself here. It's a very supportive group. Your feelings and reactions are totally normal and natural. Mc is a very traumatic experience. I hope you find this thread a support but also that you have support from others around you. Try find time to properly talk to your DP about how you're feeling about it all but also give him a chance to say how he really feels too about your loss. Men have a strange way of coping and sometimes need to feel they are allowed to voice and show their grief rather than feeling they have to be strong.

@AliceRR don't apologise. 7 weeks is nothing when you've lost your baby. Don't pressure yourself, just do what feels right for you and take things one step and day at a time. Have you had any counselling? Yes men can be right idiots at times and need a wake up call, think mine has finally had one.

@Frillyfarmer @InDreamland I’m ok thanks. Mother’s Day was a difficult one but I know it is for many people. I’ve started thinking of all the first I’ll have without my little girl and the milestone days like mother’s day, Christmas and birthdays will always be hard but perhaps once the first year is out of the way it might all be a bit easier to handle. And maybe before then I’ll be pregnant again all being well.

I’m still not TTC yet though and still haven’t DTD - I feel like this is a joke now, I’ve been on the TTC thread for weeks and won’t DTD 😬 A big part of it is being scared of it after having had a baby!! And ironically I’m scared of getting pregnant too soon. It’s the worst irony ever - I don’t want to have sex as I’ve just had a baby (well 7 weeks sho now) but then I don’t actually have a living baby and I want a baby. But I’m scared of getting pregnant too in case anything goes wrong and I’d blame myself for now waiting long enough. And I’m 35.

I tried temping but I found it such a hassle. I forgot two days out of the three and the time I did do it I didn’t note the temp as I thought it had a memory function but not sure how that works...

@InDreamland your OH seems to have the same slightly arrogant attitude that mine has. When I was pregnant I was so anxious and careful and I wanted him to stop smoking so he wouldn’t be exposing the baby to it (although he didn’t smoke around me directly) and he just didn’t seem to accept anything he did could affect the baby. He’d be the same about TTC. He has two children from a previous relationship so thinks he is super fertile but they are teenagers so things could have changed! It’s not the same but I can imagine him being as you’ve described 🤦‍♀️ That doesn’t help either because I’m the only one of us without a living child. Anyway your OH shouldn’t have made you feel like that regardless of whose “fault” it was that you had difficulty with conceiving.

Sorry feel like I’ve just let out everything that’s ever been on my mind there.

Hi, can I join you ladies? I’m 28 and TTC #1

I miscarried in February at 6 weeks. Bled for 6 days. AF arrived 4 weeks later. I was convinced I was pregnant again because of symptoms but I wasn’t which AF confirmed. Now I’m CD24 and swear I am going mad as symptoms are massively noticeable but bfn.

Before the MC my PMS was barely noticeable, odd dull ache and some bowel symptoms, so this is completely messing with my head.

Top it off, it’s causing tension with my DP as I’m emotional and snappy and he’s retaliating by sulking and ignoring me (being a complete child!). This is out of character for him.

It’s just awful and I just need some support :( I’m a teacher and it’s the holidays which is making life a little harder as I was due to have my scan this week and DP is working so I’m home alone and dwelling.

I’m really sorry that you’ve all gone through this and more :(

@Mistymeow I'm trying to wait until Friday 😓

@InDreamland you have every right to be hurt and angry with your DH and it will take time to heal X you both just need to start talking about how your feeling and hope he's made you feel over the last 5 years. It will be the only way you can move on from this X I hope you get to know more at his appointment in Friday x

@ale2992 good luck, I’d be tempted to do an ic if you have one!
@catconfusion how are you doing? Where are you in your cycle?
@sophie1983 sorry for your loss. Did you have surgery or a natural miscarriage? It’s quite normal to bleed for a number of weeks after a miscarriage. Have you had a negative pregnancy test? If you’re still testing positive after 2 weeks you should let EPU know in case you have some pregnancy tissue (that may become infected). Is the bleeding heavy with clots or light?
@indreamland can understand your anger. We sort of feel that my miscarriages are down to dh’s sperm, but we will never know for certain. Your dh clearly has some making up to do but really it’s also a wider problem that so much of the testing is focussed on the woman, so in a way I see how he was influenced by this. It’s very unfair. However, you know now and he’s doing the right thing. I know you’re angry but it won’t do you any good to look back. Give yourself time to recover from this new news and start working on being a team again. Have a pact that there will be no blame going forwards (I have this with my DH) and focus on the future.

I think af might make an appearance soon three weeks after erpc and without ovulation. Did anyone else have this? It’s a shame but at least we will have a starting point soon.

Sick on Sunday sorry

Was sick Saturday twice and have felt sick all day but I'm getting some slight cramping/pain around my ovaries on and off this evening which makes me think maybe I'm wrong and af is coming but I don't know I feel sicker than I did when I was pregnant prior to my MMC

@InDreamland cd29 13dpo

Welcome @Sophied1983 sorry you have joined this club. I've got a DD that's just under 2.5 and think she would make a great big sister.

@Frillyfarmer he has been nice to me and trying to sort out appointments. He has one with GP next week and the private specialist on Friday which is tentative depending on whether the private referring to him can get paperwork over in time.

I'm just so hurt and angry he's out me through so much the past 5 years and taken no responsibility at all and put everything on me making me feel like the biggest inadequate useless loser there is and blaming myself for the 2 mc's. 5 out of 6 years I've been made to feel like this. When I tried a few times to suggest it might be him and he should try supplements and cutting down on alcohol he just totally refused point blank. Even after mc #1 he said well I got pregnant so it can't be him which makes me feel like he must therefore think it's me. So many other things that he said which made me feel like it's all just me. Like I am the one responsible.

I am not sure how I'll ever get over that. How can the man I love do this to me?

I'm sorry you've all been there too.

Only one friend recognised that yesterday might have been tough for me.

Did anyone else find their bleeding was prolonged after miscarriage? I'm so confused today by what my body is up to.

How has be been with you since you had the results @InDreamland? Hopefully he's pushing to get an appointment xx

@moonpeace I'm tempted to try acupuncture but wouldn't know where to start with finding a reputable practitioner.

@Mistymeow you done well to handle seeing the baby. Not sure I'd cope well at all.

Thanks @AliceRR. I'm just still so mad at him, I'm really hurt about how his behaviour has made me feel and what I've been through. How are you?

@Lilimum6 I think there is no good time for pregnancy bomb. Fx you're still in this cycle. Remember you're not out until the witch shows.

@Sophied1983 sorry you find yourself here. It's a shit experience but everyone here is so supportive. Don't know what I'd have done without these ladies.

@Fillyfarmer fx for this cycle!

@ale2992 where in your cycle are you?

@Frillyfarmer nope, I'm too scared to.

Sorry ladies, gonna be selfish for a moment. I just need to offload. Saw a colleague this morning (from a few meters distance in the office) who I haven't properly seen for a while and I swear she is now sporting a very obvious baby bump. I really don't need this. I thought a few weeks when I saw her that she looked like she had a little belly she never had before but thought that it was just the top she was wearing but now I think it's very obviously a baby bump.

I found yesterday so hard celebrating Mother's Day with my family for my mum and seeing them hand out flowers to all the mums at church.

After the most shitty March I just want to curl up at home and never face the world again.

@sophied1983 welcome, sorry you find yourself here. It's a great thread with some great people. I hope you're doing OK, such a shitty situation x

@Lilimum6 I don't temp as I know it would drive me wild, I hope you got lucky this cycle.

I'm CD9 and I've started OPKs yesterday as I don't know where my cycle is - this is my first one post MC. We're away with friends this weekend when Ovia is predicting O, hopefully she comes a bit earlier.

How are you getting on @Laney79 @AliceRR

@ale2992 Have you tested yet?

Hi

I'm Sophie (obvs!). Found out six weeks ago that we would miscarry. Been a rough few weeks.

Have a 2.5yr old daughter. Really want her to have a sibling.

I have so many questions for you all... will come back to this and respond properly.

Morning ladies, I'm glad yesterday is over I can't handle another pregnancy bomb 💣. Why do they do it on mother's day.

Well as for me I'm 5 or 7 dpo fertility friend app can't make its mind up. Not feeling confident though. My temps are already on the way back down. Low progesterone? I don't know. Want this cycle over so I can plan the next one better.

How are you lovely ladies getting on?