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Original poster

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

986 replies

Laney79 · 24/03/2019 10:09

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
51
Bluebelltulip · 08/04/2019 11:04

I think you are perfectly entitled to sulk and rant @lillimum6 I hope you get something useful from the rmc clinic. Also completely understandable to feel worse when af arrives, I wish our bodies had a nicer way of telling us we aren't pregnant.

Lilimum6 · 08/04/2019 10:54

Hello ladies sorry I've not been around. I've been sulking tbh.
I'm starting to feel like old cheese. I joined this group at thread 14 after my 3rd mc but first mmc. I've been here for another 2x mmc and a cp. Really starting to lose all hope. I have rmc appointment in May 14 just 4 days after my due date, its just so unfair. I am praying they can fix me. I think it's just a bit raw as I started spotting this morning and by tonight it'll be full flow. Not to mention every media outlet is banging on about Megan markles baby, Facebook baby bombs and prams and bumps everywhere. Sorry I'm being so down probably hormones. Rant over - sorry

Bluebelltulip · 08/04/2019 09:29

@Newbie21 AF is due Thursday but 14 DPO is tomorrow as CM predicted ovulation was early, I think I'm going to wait until Thursday if I can.

Newbie21 · 08/04/2019 08:51

@InDreamland I totally understand the want for a Xmas/NY baby and the frustration of having cycles passing by but it is really positive that DH has had his appointment and that you are getting care and a plan of action. In this whole journey one of the hardest things, I find, is the helplessness we feel. Being able to try and do things to help and having appointments and tests, whilst annoying, do provide small milestones which I find helpful.

@Bluebelltulip fingers crossed this is your month! When do you plan to test? Are you waiting for AF to be late? I'm only at DPO 4 so the waiting and frustration has begun.

@Laney79 well done you for facing your fear! I had acupuncture to try and bring on Labour with my DS. I hear a lot of talk about it being helpful with TTC. What aspects does it help with?

Bluebelltulip · 08/04/2019 08:40

@Indreamland glad your DH has had his appointment and you have a plan of tests. I hope the results appointment goes well in a few weeks. Good luck for this month TTC anyway.

@Laney79 I know other people that have found acupuncture relaxing but I can't imagine it being and I don't mind needles. Well done for trying it.

I'm now in the final days of my cycle, AF due Thursday, trying to hold off testing until then.

Original poster
Laney79 · 08/04/2019 08:33

Morning ladies. Quick update on the acupuncture...as most of you know I have a pretty extreme medical/needle phobia so paying someone to stick needles in me (and not for a test) is something I never thought I'd do...

I was very nervous as you’d expect but I managed to go through with the whole treatment. Some of the needles I didn’t feel, some I did but it was just a little uncomfortable but a couple did hurt and made me grimace/shout ow!

I can’t say I enjoyed it, certainly not in the way I enjoy my reflexology sessions but I suspect a lot of that is to do with my fear of the needles and everything else that’s going on. It hasn’t put me off, so I will try again but as I said it’s not easy for me-but it’s worth a try if it might help so I’ll persevere.

@InDreamland sounds like at least there's a plan to help you - but I get the sadness of no Xmas/new year baby.

@Dimblebimble I'd echo @Frillyfarmer and get checked at the gp just in case.

Thanks @TinyPaws and @Boboelephant for the DM's re: ivf. So much to think about.

Private specialist appt tomorrow, hoping my progesterone results will be back this afternoon. Is it only me that resents how hard this is? I know it's mean but I'm so jealous of the women who catch and have successful pregnancies so easily. X

OP posts:
InDreamland · 08/04/2019 08:24

Morning ladies. So sorry I dropped off for a week. I had the busiest week at work and weekend was no quieter. Also had a lot of thinking to do and just needed some time out from here since getting DH's results. He had an appointment on Friday with the private doctor which unfortunately I couldn't make because work was so busy. He says that things maybe don't look too bleak and apparently it's really common. He has more tests lined up then another consultation in a few weeks time which I'll go to with him. Hopefully things will start to improve but think that's all my hopes dashed for a Christmas New Year baby. Still TTC but in all honesty being realistic now about getting pregnant again for another few months. Am CD15 and got my static smiley on OPK on Saturday night. DTD lots.

Hope everyone is well. Will try and catch up on the thread.

Frillyfarmer · 07/04/2019 19:21

@Dimblebimble I would call GP re the discharge, just to be safe and get swabs done and catch any infection early. It took six weeks for me to get a BFN after my early MC in jan so it's to abnormal.

I'm just back from a weekend away with friends - lots of drinking and fun and I feel completely like me again.

CD15, just had a positive OPK so I'm going to find DH!

Dimblebimble · 07/04/2019 10:35

Hmm I just did another one from the same urine and it's clear 🙈😩 guess I will wait a week and check again.

Dimblebimble · 07/04/2019 09:48

Hi ladies, I had my d and c on the 8th March and have only just done a pregnancy test (never got round to it and was really stressed at work) and I've got a bit of a line still (see pics). Very faint but it's an internet cheapie so not that sensitive.

It was twins, could that be why? I've noticed darker (yellow, slightly orange) discharge but no smell at all. Should I phone the epu?

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!
TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!
TinyPaws · 06/04/2019 21:25

@Laney79 DM me re: IVF. Happy to talk though. We can connect on Facebook if that's easier for you.

Boboelephant · 06/04/2019 20:51

@DaisyMay25 good luck for your scan on Monday! I hope you have lots of growing follies in there!

@Russkispy yes one day at a time. That's been my motto too. Hope acupuncture helps on Monday.

@MissMaxwell be kind to yourself. It's a tough old journey. Just take all the time you need, it's a grieving process.

@Keyboard91 I'm so sorry you've had another loss. Sending hugs.

Keyboard91 · 06/04/2019 15:24

Sorry I’ve been poor on this thread. I will catch up and get to know you all a bit better now it’s the Easter break (teacher)

Miscarriage in February at 6 weeks.

Today confirmed chemical pregnancy

Feeling really wobbly. DP and I went shopping yesterday for some distraction and I cried in Paperchase because they had all the new baby Peter Rabbit stuff I wanted. Being as amazing as he is, DP and I went to Hobbycraft so I could buy rainbow yarn (he helped pick it) to crochet a rainbow blanket for when we finally get a rainbow baby.

MissMaxwell · 06/04/2019 11:32

@Lilimum6 thank you so much for your message....yesterday was just a bit of a crappy day. I realised on the way home from work that yesterday was supposed to be my doctors appointment to let them know i was pregnant and get my midwife referral so it all caught up on me. I also had to take a pregnancy yesterday (as requested by EPU) as it had been a week since I miscarried and having to wait for a negative was absolutely heartbreaking!!

But I have stopped bleeding and am feeling so much better so I am hoping to start TTC after my next period.... Confused still don't know how I feel/ how I should feel about moving on yet

ale2992 · 06/04/2019 10:01

@Russkispy
@Boboelephant
Yes I think I'm going to have to do that

Russkispy · 06/04/2019 08:53

@Boboelephant thank you! It was only one put in. I stopped thinking about the frozen embryo and just concentrating on this pregnancy. On today! One day at a time. Seeing my acupuncturist on Monday for regular sessions to help me getting through till 12 weeks scan.
@ale2992 sorry it was another BFN. Perhaps stay away from testing and see what happens next

DaisyMay25 · 06/04/2019 08:16

@Boboelephant I'm currently on stims, had a scan on Wednesday and yesterday and back for one on Monday, they're thinking Wednesday for egg collection. It's all a bit overwhelming for me though, everything is going so fast! So happy you're nearly into the second trimester!!

Boboelephant · 06/04/2019 07:47

Thanks so much lovely ladies!! It is very exciting. Funny how it works out- two losses, two miserable years of trying and then two babies!

@DaisyMay25 that's exciting. Whereabouts in the process are you?

@Russkispy I wonder if you might have two in there as well. They are very high hcg levels. Either way it's a good sign of nice strong hormones. I'm so sorry about your frozen embie, I have everything crossed it was a one off.

@fnej01 I'm sure all the diagnoses must be hard to process but it is a good sign that they have found some answers and can put the right support in for when you get pregnant again. Fingers crossed.

@Lilimum6 I'm so sorry for the bfn. Take care of yourself. Hope your cycle regulates quickly again.

@Laney79 well done for emailing the CCG. What a positive outcome. Hopefully this is the change you've been waiting for. I'm happy to answer any ivf related questions if you want to DM me.

@ale2992 I'm sorry for the bfns. Sounds like perhaps it's best to step away from the tests especially if you had a chemical last cycle. It can take a while for your body to get back in sync. One thing I can say is after 2 years of staring at tests and hoping I saw a line and convincing myself there was something where there never was one, when finally I got a bfp, the line was unmistakable. Good luck for next cycle.

@Newbie21 Haha yep it is significantly worse with twins! I have been struggling alot but it's a good sign of strong hormones and only 16 more days until first trimester is over!

ale2992 · 06/04/2019 07:13

Still no af and tested again not sure if it's bfn(think it is) or if there's the faintest of lines, I really don't know. I felt sick from the moment I woke up today

Bluebelltulip · 05/04/2019 21:29

@Laney79 I'm glad you seem to be getting somewhere with referrals, shows how useful ringing people can be. I hope it helps you.

Original poster
Laney79 · 05/04/2019 20:55

Hi everyone. I've lost track of the thread a bit, so sorry not to reply to all individually. Thanks for all being so lovely. It's been a really hard week.

Welcome to the hurdles to all the newbies xxx

@Boboelephant what wonderful news!!! So pleased for you. Keeping everything crossed

@Lilimum6 sorry for the bfn. It's so hard. Hope AF behaves for you.

As for me... So obviously I’ve been feeling let down and lost after being told it was either the pill or pay to see a private dr. I was umming and ahhing about the private guy, partially because I was worried about being fobbed off and paying for the privilege, but also what would happen if he recommended tests-would I have to pay for those too or could I have them on the nhs...so I emailed my ccg. I explained that I knew I wasn’t eligible for fertility treatment as the policy was clear you had to have not conceived for a year, but would I be eligible for fertility testing of any kind. Ended up speaking to someone pretty high up who told me that in fact we are eligible for treatment as well testing!!!...but only until my 40th birthday...which is July 24th. So I need the fastest gp referral I can get. My gp was awesome and it was all done by weds morning. Apparently my fella needs to request a semen analysis test and I need a day three blood test but then we are under the fertility centres care.

She recommended I still go to see the private guy as he may be able to suggest tests or treatment that she would be able to action and it may help us catch naturally again or at least speed the process up.

Then weds night we went to the open evening at the fertility centre-got nearly half hour with the man in charge! He’s an embryologist and was so helpful. Reckons our chance of conception each month at my age is prob only 10% and ivf would make that more like 20-25%. He said he’d inform his team to keep an eye out for my referral and that he’d ask them to expedite it too!

So I’ve gone from feeling quite alone and no plan to having suddenly lots of medical support and a possibility of fertility help, and possibly even ivf if we want it and I can cope with it...and that’s the big if. Can I, with my horrid medical phobia really handle ivf? Arghhhhh. Any one who’s been there and had ivf, I really could do with details of exactly what it entails (injections, scans, treatments, investigations etc that I have to have. ) to go through...I need the brutal truth people! Prob best to DM I guess?

I've got the acupuncture on Sunday, private consultation on Tuesday.

Oh and I had more bloods yesterday, vitamin D and progesterone...only vitamin D is back. Sadly not what I wanted to see-I'm taking more than double the standard 10micrograms a day (25) and my level is actually worse than it was before Christmas! I'm now at 55 nmol/l and I was 58 nmol/l. My target is 75nmol/l as that appears to be optimal for pregnancy. Annoying as I did a private test about 5 weeks ago and that showed level of 76 nmol/l so who knows what's going on there.

I just wanna feel like me again! Everything always comes back to miscarriage/TTC at the moment. Definitely taken over my life.

OP posts:
Newbie21 · 05/04/2019 18:43

Hello ladies, I'm only just joining thread 29, had a break for a few weeks and have not caught up properly.

I did see one piece of very exciting news though - @Boboelephant - 2 little Bobos!!! Amazing! Fingers and toes crossed that all continues to go well. Out of interest, do you get worse morning sickness etc with twins? (I hope you are not suffering too much from it) xxx

Lilimum6 · 05/04/2019 14:54

@MissMaxwell welcome and sorry for your loss xx this group is super supportive, I wouldn't have gotten though it with out the wonderful ladies on here.

As to when to try. It depends on how long ago you mc'd and if you've had a negative pregnancy test since. Medical people prefer you wait one full cycle for dating purposes. But it mostly depends on when you are ready hun. The ttc journey is a mine field of ups and downs hun and can really pickle your head.
Were here for all the good, the bad and the ugly. Together we support each other, give advice or even come here just for a rant.
I hope you will feel this is a safe place to say how you really are and know there's no judgements. Xx

MissMaxwell · 05/04/2019 14:01

Hello,
I hope it is ok if I join this thread, I am 26 years old, TTC since July 2018 with baby #1.

I unfortunately miscarried at 6 weeks, am feeling extremely overwhelmed about everything from when I can start trying again to how I am actually feeling.

I only told close family and feel like I haven't got anyone I can talk to.

Raincart2017 · 05/04/2019 12:51

@Boboelephant congratulations on the wonderful news!

@InDreamLand how are you feeling? Has DH has his appointment d as yet?

@KnitKitty thank you for the book recommendation I have downloaded on to my Kindle to start reading!

I'm due to ovulate any day but I'm not testing anymore!

We have a fertility follow up appointment on 16th May to discuss us going for IVF later in the year but I have 1 and half stone to lose by this date and would need to maintain this weigh for 6 months to be able to get IVF I just hope we can fall pregnant naturally before this!

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