TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

@Lilimum6

7 weeks with the first one and 8 weeks with the second one.

Not a clue. My Great Aunt helpfully suggested that they were boys and my body doesn’t like boys

@AfterLaughter hello and welcome.

Hope you don't mind me asking how far along were you with your mc's and did you ever find out why they happened?

Good luck for baby #5 fingers crossed for plain sailing

@Dimblebimble did you cal epu in the end.

Thanks ladies for your kind words. It seems I was wrong about af. She still hasn't started yet and the spotting has stopped starting to wonder if that was it all I'm getting this cycle or maybe it's early menopause. My family has a history of early menopause. The last af was so short it lasted a total of 2 1/2 days, I've never had them this short before.

Thankyou

I stopped taking my pill (Cerazette) at the weekend. Haven’t had a period in months; no idea what’s going on with my cycle No period as of yet.

FertilityFriend has been downloaded and OPKs ordered. My other DC were conceived in my 20s; I’m 33 now so I feel I should be more proactive?!

Thank you @Laney79 @Bluebelltulip @Newbie21 @AliceRR. I really want a family so much but I also want my babies back. The one that was due January and should now be 10 weeks old, and our second that I should be about 26 weeks pregnant with now. I am struggling to focus on much else in my life but I feel like no one really understands.

@Lilimum6 sorry you're feeling low. Keeping fx for you that you have a sticky BFP very soon.

@Laney79 hope the appointment/consultation goes well today and there is a way forward.

@AliceRR sorry people are being insensitive and saying things without thinking. I reckon we've all had the wrong things said to us about our losses and having another one. People don't get that it's more than wanting a baby, we're grieving the loss of a much loved and wanted baby that we had plans for. I try to ignore the comments but it is really hard isn't it.

@Boboelephant congratulations! Amazing news. Twins is so exciting. I'd love to have twins.

@Russkispy how are you? Your HCG levels sounds like it's a good sign.

Sorry if I've missed anyone. Hugs to anyone having a rubbish time at the moment.

I think I've resigned myself to the fact I joined in July last year but will still be here for a year longer at least. Joined after mc#1 but have since had mc#2. Given latest results and my age I think it'll be a very long and painful journey to getting a family if we ever have one. What if we can never have a live birth?

@AfterLaughter yes of course! We're all here to support each other

@Frillyfarmer fingers crossed.

Awk yes keep yourself distracted. I've taken the week off work just to give myself time to rest and heal.

What a difference a week makes eh

@FirstTimeMama91 that sounds positive, hopefully your HCG continues to drop off quickly.

This is my first proper cycle since MC, I'm on CD 17 and fairly sure I ovulated on Sunday - not sure I'm ready to put myself through the hope of the TWW but luckily I've got a big valuation on at work this week which will distract me from the mindlessness of my own thoughts!!

Hi all. Can I join?

We’re TTC #5 (madness, I know!) and I miscarried twice inbetween 3 and 4 (so not recently) but I could do with the extra support whilst we’re TTC, if that’s okay?

@frillyfarmer It is strange because my mum is probably the person after me who has felt the loss of Ruby the most, maybe even more than my DH, because she is a mother and she understands and she held Ruby in the hospital. She says she cries about Ruby every day and she visits her in the cemetery. So she does understand how awful it is for us I think. Maybe she just doesn’t think or maybe because I seem ok and I don’t cry constantly she thinks it’s fine. I had my friend over with her four week old baby on Saturday so maybe she thinks I’m stronger than I am 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know she doesn’t mean it but I will say something if she does it again. I’m hormonal anyway so... 😬

@Frillyfarmer thanks lovely you too. Just can't believe it. Yes had a scan and bloods done on Saturday. Nothing could be seen in womb then back to hospital today further scan deff morning just blood in womb and more bloods. Hcg has gone down from 1900 to 400. Hoping to get passed this soon. Have you got your bfp yet? X

Hi @FirstTimeMama91 sorry you find yourself here. Did you have your MC confirmed by scan?

You need to have a negative pregnancy test before you start TTC again, to ensure everything is out. I had retained products so MC 17th Jan at 7wks and didn't get a BFN until 3rd March - it just depends how quickly your MC completes - I hope it's sooner than later and I hope hope hope you get your BFP soon x

And reading that back - that's not minimising anyone else's early MCs at all. Everyone copes very differently and on a practical level that mindset is how I'm getting through shit day to day. Hope I've not offended anyone xx

Hi everyone.. have had the worst weekend. My world just feels upside down. Started bleeding on Friday, miscarried on Saturday. I was 7weeks and 2. I miss being pregnant. I miss everything about it and just want to move past this horrible, hurting part.

How long did everyone wait before starting TTC? I think I want to start soon after the bleeding stops. I need to feel hope again x

@AliceRR I think sometimes mums want to put the conversation out there because "you've got to talk about it some day" as my mum told me. And when they haven't gone through it, it's a difficult connection to make.

My mum and my DH don't really get it - because it was an early MC. I understand where they are coming from, I'm a practical person, for me it will be the milestones and the missed due dates that cut me deepest.

But for you and Ruby things were very different and a million times harder and I think it is worth having that conversation with your mum so she knows how she is making you feel.

We purposely haven't told our mums that were trying as they will constantly ask how it's going! When we fell pregnant/had MC we only told a few close friends who are either trying themselves or had MC as they pain were going through x

I had a blazing row with my mum on Sunday over the way she has handled this miscarriage. I'm so upset about it. Sucks when family disappoint you doesn't it?!

@Bluebelltulip My mum has been very supportive since we lost Ruby but she also says things that are not helpful! The thing that has got me most is when she’s asked me twice whether my cousin is expecting (for no reason other than that she got married six months ago and is 35 like I am and she knows I met up with her) and I just didn’t want to hear that or think about it. If she is fine but I don’t really want to discuss that especially when no one has any reason to think she is 🤷🏻‍♀️ I didn’t say anything but if she mentions it a third time then I will

@sophied1983 cycles can be totally random for a few months after MC/D&C etc so it may just be that but I would recommend contacting the EPU and they may do a scan to check and/ or put your mind at ease.

Sorry - I'm so rubbish at keeping up with this thread. I have a question.

Had the op on 8th March. Bled for 15 days. Since then, bit of spotting on and off. Period, or what I thought was my period started 1st Apr, bleeding stopped Friday.

Today I've started bleeding again. I'm worried this means maybe it wasn't my period and it is linked to some of the pregnancy being retained?! But I've had a negative pregnancy test.

Thoughts?

Sorry your mum didn't think before she spoke @AliceRR try not to feel under pressure from her and do what's right for you.

Good luck for your new cycle @ale2992 I hope this one behaves itself.

The witch finally showed up this morning! Actually happy to see her as was worried, and can try again for this cycle again now

@Lillimum6 Sorry you are feeling that way. I’m struggling with hormones too (I get severe PMS) and it doesn’t make anything easier. I cried today after I missed a delivery! I was crying because of that but I just sort of spiralled. I’m having that sort of day. Know you are not alone

@Laney79 well done for giving the acupuncture a go. Do you think you’ll go again? Would you recommend reflexology

@InDreamland Hope you feel more positive. It’s so hard. I’m trying not to focus on being pregnant by a certain time.

My Mum has said again “hopefully we’ll have another baby by this time next year”. Well yes that would be amazing but doesn’t leave a lot of time and it’s not always as easy as that. Sometimes I wish she’d think before she spoke. I wasn’t actively trying when I got pregnant with Ruby but by the same token I hadnt been using contraception of any kind for at least 3 years before that so I really have no idea how long it would take me to get pregnant again. I could do without the pressure.

I hope everyone else is ok. Sorry I haven’t replied to everyone. I find it difficult to keep up 😳

@Lilimum6 that's so normal, and AF brings back unpleasant shitty feelings for a lot of us with MCs - I hope she buggers off quickly for you.

I can't imagine how you feel, being on these threads for so long with not much feeling of progression. I'm the most impatient person ever and the ongoing process of waiting for my body fix up and get back on track has given me some quite dark feelings.

I've found a lot of comfort in this weekend's break from reality and for anyone struggling, I'd recommend somewhere remote and beautiful for a few days away. We went to Exmoor and a weekend in the middle of nowhere with friends - I just feel like I've been reset after a few days away from my constant thoughts.

I hope everyone is doing ok xxx