TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

Hi everyone, I'm back from a great work trip feeling much better in many ways. So sorry to see so many new joiners, you will be well looked after.

@strawberrye I'm no expert but your early post O temps look quite low. That with the spotting could indicate low progesterone- have you had this checked? I have zero medical training so this might be a completely wrong suggestion. You could also be poorly with your cold which is throwing things off (feel better soon!).
@laney79 Wow, super impressed with your resilience and drive! Sounds like things are getting better. It is reassuring to know you can take some action.

I've had my appointment through for Dr Shehata's recurrent miscarriage clinic but it's not for another 3 months (as expected). I'll try to get a cancellation. I'm 9dpo waiting for first af since erpc, the progesterone symptoms are really strong.

What really upset me was another couple in our friendship group is now pregnant and due at the same time as I was. That's 3 out of 4 of our friends who are expecting. It's so hard because not only do we have the loneliness of recovering from our recent loss, but we can't even turn to our closest friends because it's too painful. The worst part was when my DH said to the couple that we had another loss, his friend (who was his best man at our wedding) turned to him and asked whether I'd been taking folic acid and vitamin D. What a thing to say. I wasn't present thankfully but my poor DH had to deal with it all :(

Hi ladies, just declaring myself from lurking to see if any of you have any advice. I have no idea what my body is doing to me. I am currently 15dpo, due on yesterday or day before. The past two days I have had pinkish red spotting, and for about 5 days have been really tired, nausea etc. My temp as you can see has shot up and I was starting to get hopeful for a BFP this morning. But I've taken an IC and a FRER and both white as freshly laid snow! I have had cold type symptoms the past couple of days which could explain my temp rise (although not had this in the 15 months I've been charting...and on this sodding thread. Say hi to the mouldiest cheese of all, prematurely aged at only 27!) Gah I'm so confused and disappointed. I was really thinking this was finally our month. Have any of you had anything like this before or have any words of wisdom?

I got a faint positive on an OPK yesterday afternoon

@Laney79 That’s amazing! DSis is massively needle/medical procedure phobic, I have no idea how she managed the IVF. She has another round left but she’s taking a break at the moment, she’s all over the place If I could bloody have one for her then I would, in a heartbeat. She knows we’re TTC again, I felt like I should tell her before it happens so she’s not railroaded by it. We had a few tears but she adores my DC and practically moved in with me after her loss because the chaos distracted her.

I had about 3 cycles between my first and second loss. After the second loss it was well over a year before I could stomach it again. I was absolutely terrified of getting pregnant again and couldn’t stand DH going anywhere near me. Caused a few issues but we worked through it somehow.

@Laney79 that's absolutely fantastic, sounds as though you have a great consultant and fingers crossed the scans and testing have a positive outcome for you.

@FirstTimeMama91 I've had one period before TTC again but only because I just had no idea where I was in my cycle as the mc dragged on. If you want to try, I don't think there is any reason not to, other than they will struggle to date a new pregnancy without a LMP to go on.

AF has arrived, shouldn't have been too much of a surprise as we didn't manage DTD at peak but was in the range of a chance. Now had a 23 day cycle but AF did come 14 days after ovulation was predicted from CM so taking that as a positive and hope next cycle is better.

Did everyone wait for atleast 1 cycle before ttc again after miscarriage? I dont think I can't wait that long. I want to start trying again maybe next week. Any tips or advice?

It’s sh*t when people don’t think before they speak. I get annoyed with little things people say and try not to react because then I look like the overly emotional one but it’s easier said than done sometimes.

I’m still (very) hormonal so I have a bit of a cloud over me because of that.

Even my DH says the wrong thing. Sometimes I can see he’s upset about losing the baby but then other times, he talks as if he barely saw her as a real person as she wasn’t born alive. He said something like she was never really here. I know men don’t feel it all as we do as we carry our babies and I carried Ruby to full term and felt her move and kick and hiccup. Even before that she was my baby from day one - that’s how it is from when we get the BFP. I talked to her and played with her every day. He didn’t have that with her and I get that but it seems odd he’d feel that way. Maybe it’s his way of coping. I’m trying not to react emotionally to it but it’s hard not to feel alone while I mourn the loss of my only child and he seems to be getting on with things and can only talk about his other two (living) children.

Sorry for ranting. I’m that way out. I get severe PMT and I’m feeling a bit down for obvious reasons...

Hugs to all of you

@BlueBellTulip What is wrong with people? Why do they think these things are helpful in anyway? Baffles me.

@BlueBellTulip What is wrong with people? Why do they think these things are helpful in anyway? Baffles me.

@Sophie1983 that's awful about what your mum said, I can understand her being upset about not knowing but it's up to you when and what you share with people.

@MyHeartIsBroken and @AfterLaughter I had someone say that to me on here days after my DD2 was stillborn when I was asking advice on looking after a toddler while grieving.

Looks like this cycle has been unsuccessful, have started spotting.

Hello ladies

I'm nervously dropping in here! I had a miscarriage almost 4 weeks ago, I had to have surgical management and have only just stopped bleeding. We will hopefully start ttc again in a few months. I'm sure it will take my body a few months to settle down but at least I can get to grips with my cycles until then x

@MyHeartIsBroken someone said that to my SIL after her miscarriage. She doesn’t have DC of her own but has my brothers DD. The miscarriage came after 2 failed IVF rounds and 1 successful one that sadly ended in a loss.

I’ll be honest. I wanted to throat punch them I’ve held her hand through the last 6 years of unexplained infertility (diagnosed when she was 24 after 18 months of not falling pregnant) and I’ve never felt such utter rage towards someone before.

@sophied1983 I'm 37 hun. I'm sorry about your mum hun x

@Lilimum6 @InDreamland I totally get feeling like 'old cheese' as one of you said! Lost my first in April 2018 and gone on to lose 2 more. Still we keep trying.

Ok second attempt!!!

Sorry for completely dropping out, partly due to the fact that I couldn’t log in and also partly due to the fact I have been really struggling and just wanted to bury my head in the sand.

@AliceRR sorry to hear you have been having a hard time with your mum. I can imagine it’s very difficult for people to know what to say but sometimes nothing is better than insensitive comments! I hope you are doing as OK as you can be.

@InDreamland the results must have been a shock and I understand your feelings towards your husband. I am hoping that things start moving for you now you have some answers. Totally understand the feeling of cycles passing you by and counting key dates/milestones. The helpless feeling TTC brings, even without, what you and all of us have been through, is just horrible. Please hold on to hope and if you can’t know that we are all hoping for you. You will get your baby, you deserve it so much xxx

@AfterLaughter hello! Do not worry what people say about your lovely family. And also, I think that no matter how many children you have, loss is still awful and sad and I understand your desire for another. I have one DD (had a MC last summer at 10 weeks and ectopic in Feb at 8 weeks) and when people tell me I “am lucky to have one” or to be grateful for what I have, it fills me with rage!

@Dimblebimble did you call EPU? Thinking of you xxx

@Laney79 well done on overcoming your phobia for the acupuncture!

@Boboelephant how amazing! Your news gives me hope that things can turn unexpectedly and that even better things might be coming! I hope you are doing OK and aren’t feeling too sick/tired etc.

@Russkispy pleased to hear things are going well for you too! I hate announcements and (as bitter and jealous as I am) pregnant friends in real life, but hearing good news on here is just fantastic.

So now for the ‘me, me, me’ part… My cousin had her second baby last month, her due date was the same as the baby I lost last summer, and I have stayed off all social media as I just can’t even bear to see her and him. I was feeling really low yesterday and stupidly logged back in and started looking at people who I think will be announcing their second, literally torturing myself trying to guess who would be next…No one had but I know someone will and I am waiting for the horrible feelings it will inevitably bring up.

I had my period just before Mother’s Day (first one after the ectopic) which was horrendous and actually reminded me of the first MC. It left me feeling really low but at the same time I was happy that my body is “working” after the ectopic. It’s now approaching my fertile week and I feel really down as I want to try, I want another baby so much, but I have realised I am petrified. Please don’t judge me but DH and I haven’t even had sex since February when I found out I was pregnant, obviously part of that was recovery advice but I also feel so scared and weirded out by the surgey and my one tube…I can’t explain but I am not even sure I want to try and then I just feel like I am letting another month go by…

Sorry to anyone I have missed xxx

Have asked MN to remove my post as have obviously had a cut and paste fail!!!!

My mum wrote this to me last night...

This is what she sent me by message last night, talking about the day we found out about the miscarriage:

I rang him (my hubby) the day you had the news about the baby not developing and said sorry to him and he said Sophie's sitting here, she'll ring you soon, I had to message that evening to find out what the problem was, hard when I knew from day one that you were pregnant and shared the upsets of each scan, it was cruel and thoughtless that neither John nor you just dropped a text to say the problem.

I'm actually speechless.

@Lilimum6 - how old are you if you don't mind me asking? I only ask as my colleague in her early 40s had a m/c recently and said her periods were 2-3 days long. A lot shorter than before the m/c.

@AfterLaughter I'd love a big family. Sadly I left it too late and at 37 and 6 mc's ill be looky if I get 1. I bet your super proud of your beauties though. Don't listen to negative people like that hun. I bet your a excellent mum xx

@Lilimum6 I do yes They’re 10/8/3/1. It took me a while after the second loss to want to try again. We had planned 3, DC4 was a total surprise. I know people sneer at big families, but we have the money, space and the time so, why not? In for a penny, in for a pound at this point.

@AfterLaughter my mum said the same.

She had me, then my brother whom died due to being born early (she was in and out of hospital the whole pregnancy) then my sister. So I guess it's possible. I take it you have 4 beautiful little ladies then 😊