TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

I don't track anymore, well I use a couple of apps and monitor cm, but anything else stresses me out. I can understand that it helps you feel in control though.

@Lilimum6 sorry you are feeling so anxious and stressed. I am sure you are not broken though, our bodies just do weird things sometimes. Have you talked to your DH? xxx

@moonpeace I used to spot before I had DD for a few days before AF. Weirdly my cycles were always 33 days with spotting from 31, but after MC last year went to 28 with no spotting. Anyway, my point is I don't think spotting is an issue, I read loads on it and freaked myself out when TTC DD but that was my only successful pregnancy! xxx

I'm officially an idiot today. CD 25 and I decided to POAS. It's negative which isn't surprising but I keep holding it under the light and trying to convince myself I can see something and now I am sure I can feel AF pains 🤦🏼‍♀️ Why do we do it to ourselves?!

Thanks @moonpeace @VenusStarr I am in two minds about tracking as I think it can be counterproductive if it is causing stress. I think it’s a good idea to take a month off tracking if you think it will help at all even if it just means you’re more relaxed

Hope your appointment goes well @Laney79 🍀

@AliceRR same as @moonpeace, I've got a little plastic pot I wash out in the sink for use when I poas.

I did read the other day that couples who don't track bbt or use opks have more sex when ttc. I don't track any more, just keep an eye on my cm. I was reassured that I was ovulating after tracking bbt for a couple of cycles and when I went for my cd21 blood tests confirmed. I found tracking massively stressed me out. @moonpeace I don't think there is any harm giving yourself a cycle off, perhaps you can review next cycle?

I’m thinking of trying OPKs this month mainly out of curiousity as this is my first cycle of TTC since the baby but on a very mundane practical note what do I use to test in? As in I have read to pee in a sterile pot. What do you use? And what is “sterile”? Can I just used a plastic tub and then wash and reuse it daily. Sorry it sounds gross I know. I’d have preferred something I can just pee onto rather than dip.

@Mistymeow I think you are right still no temp rise. So that's two cycles back to back with no ovulation. I'm terrified I'm broken now 😭
DH will not go for ivf as he's Catholic xx
I'm so down its making me feel ill. What the hell do I do now

@InDreamland my cycles are short 25 days on average and I tend to only bleed for a couple of days, with a couple of days of light, only there when I wipe spotting after. Will raise this with the clinic when we see them in a couple of weeks. But I saw a gynecologist a couple of weeks ago after my miscarriage and she didn't seem concerned.

@Mistymeow hope you're OK, I saw your chart the other day and thought your ov may have been a couple of days after when ff said it was. Have you tested again? It's so horrible being in limbo.

Sorry to have been quiet for a while. I'm feeling better in myself, its nearly 3 weeks since my miscarriage. My dh seems to be struggling a bit though. It's been tough. If my cycle comes back straight away my period is due on Monday. I've come a bit obsessed thinking about being pregnant again. I've no idea whereabouts on my cycle I am but did have ewcm last weekend. We were given the go ahead to ttc when we felt ready but haven't actively been charting, just dtd whenever. I've become hyper aware of my body and any twinges.

Hope everyone else is OK xx

@Mistymeow I know right!? Any other day but today, or even tomorrow as even if we dtd tonight after the analysis his sample might be lower in quality. I'm tempted to dtd tomorrow morning instead if I haven't got a bbt rise so we have a shot if it is Wednesday.

I really hope you get some answers too. It's so frustrating not fully understanding why such a traumatic thing has happened. How low was your DHs SA? Is IVF the only option for you do you think?

It's understandable your hormones are out of whack after all you've been through but so frustrating. What is your chart looking like? I really hope you get a rise soon or at least AF. I've attached mine.

I'm pleased about the longer LP but boy is it a long wait. I know it doesn't mean I'd get a bfp any later as last time was 9 dpo but if not it's a long time to wait to start again. Then my longer than normal FS which can range from 14 to 34 days.

There's so much waiting involved in ttc. I don't blame you for asking DH to stay home with you. I sometimes feel being alone makes it worse. Xx

@InDreamland Well since I posted that we have dtd twice so that’s something but it might still be a problem... Think it’s too early in my cycle to have made a baby but would be good to keep dtd every other day. I’d be frustrated if we did it now and then he couldn’t dtd in my fertile window!

The fear of never having a living child is huge. Losing my baby was heartbreaking but I feel I’ll be ok and will be able to get along with my life ultimately. She’ll always be part of my life. But if I can’t have another child then that’s a future I can’t come to terms with right now.

Re your cycle being lighter, my cycle changed a few years ago for no real reasons. I used to have periods that lasted about five days and were fairly heavy and then about 4-5 years ago they got lighter and were about 3 days. There was no real reason for it. I saw the doctor as I also was struggling with my hormones and worried it was early menopause or PCOS but they couldn’t find anything wrong so maybe our cycles can just change and I did conceive and carry a baby to full term several years later. Also things like exercise and stress can affect your cycle.

It’s not for anyone to tell you how to feel or deal with what you’ve been through so try to just stay away from people who make you feel bad x

@catconfusion that's frustrating the SA is during fertile week but sounds like you may be covered. I hope he gets good results. My DH is on medication to improve his but he's not meant to be on it long term (pushes testosterone levels quite high). I'm hoping we will get some answers from the rmc in July so we can press ahead with IVF. I'm cd 42 today and I'm finding it hard to tell if ovulation is about to occur, or af. Maybe it will be anovulatory. I can tell my hormones are all over the place (mood swings, breasts up and down with pain, cramps, ewcm). It's to be expected but very draining. I asked DH to work from home today for more support. 17 day luteal phase sounds long but much better than a shorter one!
@laney79 I really hope that it's not that, I'm hoping because you are still having regular periods (even though the cycles are on the short side and light) that it's not early menopause. I'm sure you will have some answers soon. Good luck with your test results today.
@indreamland I was told a three day bleed is completely normal and periods change after miscarriage. It's hard being around people who have not experienced what we have been through, it's so lonely. I've lost friends over it because I was so hurt that they would witter on about their baby without a second thought to my feelings. I don't want a friend like that. Fortunately most of my friends have been kind and sensitive, and I enjoy playing with their babies because I find it healing. But it's the insensitivity that I can't bear. I would distance yourself from those who are making you feel bad.

@AliceRR that sounds painful. Hopefully he gets it seen to soon. I feel that hurt of losing my 2 babies (although not as far along as you were) and worrying about never having a living child. I don't have any step children though so DH is in the same situation as me although men process it differently. Hope your counselling does help.

@Mistymeow thank you. I haven't had a lump but please go see your GP, you cannot be too careful about these things.

@Laney79 fx for you this cycle.

@Lilimum6 I agree with Laney79, it might be worth getting checks done although maybe it is just taking a few months to settle down.

I'm CD4 and AF is almost non existent now. That's another lighter and shorter AF all since MC#2. Think my body has given up now. I am also finding myself feeling sick and really upset when people I know are all happy with their perfect families and talk about it almost feeling like they're rubbing my nose in it. I hate this feeling. Just feel like noone understands what I'm going through and just make out it's not important and I should just forget and get over it.

@Laney79 I have a cyst hun on my left ovary, it hurts like hell on the run up to ovulation but I feel nothing after ovulation. Dr Collcot told me at epas that they don't worry about them if you have two ovaries and it under 3 cm. He said it doesn't effect ovulation.
@Mistymeow and @moonpeace I will be asking for every test under the sun when I go for my appointment on 14th

@Mistymeow it's looking like a case of snap. I just got a peak Opk today cd 35. DH has his sperm analysis tomorrow so it is typical but we managed to dtd yesterday morning so might be covered. I just hope O happens for us both. Then I have a 17 luteal phase to get through.

Are you getting any other O symptoms? It makes sense it's come later than usual. Fingers crossed! Xx

@lilimum6 very difficult but looks like your body geared up to ovulate but didn’t quite manage. It may well try again but can understand your frustration (I’m going through similar!) Sorry if you already said but have you had your day 21 levels checked?
@catconfusion sorry you’re having a tough cycle, it’s a real bugger after what you’ve been through. But glad you are getting things investigated. I think I’ve worked out what’s going on. No af and my temp is now at pre-ovulation levels. Fertile cm and cramps, plus an almost positive opk makes me think my body is gearing up again to ovulate. Cd 40

Massively panicked today because I found a small hard lump in my breast. I was very scared and had visions of me attending the breast clinic and getting bad news. But the lump has now gone so I think it must be hormone fluctuations. Has anyone else had this?

Hi everyone, hope everyone is as ok as they can be.
@Laney79 sorry to read you're having a hard time.
I'm still not tracking and feeling good about it, about to be in my fertile window, I know this without tracking haha. But going to go with the flow and not put too much pressure on myself

@Laney79 hope your OK hun. I'm starting to think I might have the same problems as you hun. But will have wait and see what Mr sizer says at my appointment mext month x

Well ladies I'm out this cycle for sure. Opks started to get darker two days ago so I started testing 2x a day and they got dark but not positive yesterday but back to pale again by 10pm last night. My cbfm has not found a peak just highs. So now I have to wait for I don't know how long for AF to show up. I hate not knowing when to expect it. Last time I had an anovulation cycle it was 5 1/2 weeks long it drove me insane. Also my last cycle looks like my progesterone was very low too. Not sure I ovulated then either. I've attached my chart so if any one has any insight please let me know what you think 🤔

Hope everyone is finding time to relax or do something nice over the Easter weekend 🐣

Good plan @Mistymeow and good luck. I'm doing ok thanks just now having the cycle from hell after my mmc and chemical. I'm on day 34 with two failed ovulations. It's so frustrating! I love DH but I'm so tired of dtd after my three week fertile period. If it's anovulatory I just want AF to come. I've ovulated this late before so hoping it will come. DH has his SA this week so I'm going to book in with the Gp so we can get results and hopefully get a cd3 blood test for me when AF finally comes. I have a history of pcos so just hoping the miscarriages haven't made me symptomatic again! Xx

@bee222, sorry for your loss, I also had a mmc at 8 weeks but my erpc was a month ago now so I'm just a bit ahead of you. For me, I have felt much better with time, I hope you find it's the same for you.

Thanks @catconfusion that’s what I thought. Still no af! I’ll see where I’m at on Tuesday, might do another test then. How are you doing?
@indreamland I hope my hormones settle and I don’t have a repeat of last year with crazy cycles. Sorry af arrived but glad you are both getting treatment- fingers crossed for this cycle.
@bee222 sorry for your loss. It will feel so raw right now. I hope you have good support. It does get easier, I promise. Give yourself plenty of time to recover.
@laney79 what a pain, but glad it’s getting sorted. No idea what those hormone levels mean but I’m sure the consultant can explain at your next appointment.

Happy Easter everyone! I’m looking forward to sunshine and devouring an almighty Easter egg :p