TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

@AliceRR yes its possibel you OV;'d in between fri and sat, but keep testing for a few more days, could have been a dry run and body will gear up for it again. I only discovered this in my own routine last September, fell pregnant in November and my dates were bang on.

My CM has never been a good predictor, sometimes I didn't think I was getting any at all - until I started acupuncture then all hail mary broke loose and and my cycles sorted themselves out, again I started this in September last year and it was like everything came together with balance out my hormones.

@Laney79 just keep remember why you're doing this. It will be a small sacrifice to make if it works, and once the processes starts and you meet the actual people, you'll feel much more calmer. I'd be nervous too, its a medical procedure, so try to not beat yourself up xxx

Thanks @KnitKitty for the information. I can't believe how nervous I am. I don't have charts for a whole year only 6 months will that matter.
@Mistymeow seems I was too eager and temps dropped off again today. Chart included

@lilimum6 your chart is looking good. It seems like you had a gradual temp rise this month which is perfectly fine but can make pinpointing the exact day tricky. If you are 3 dpo the cramps could be residual ovulation pains, I get them. I would take it as an estimation this month (I’m similar, 5 or 6dpo)
@laney79 I’m also drinking raspberry leaf tea, one cup of day, as it’s meant to help regulate the hormones. I got it from Holland and barratt and figured one cup a day wouldn’t do any harm. I know what you mean about ivf and at least knowing the embryo quality prior, but it still doesn’t tell you about chromosomal abnormalities. This is what I want to find out more about. I think you’re really brave and if it helps I found the first appointment very relaxed and reassuring. I’m sorry your mum has an op, I get worried that my mum hides the truth when she is poorly and I always pick up on it. It’s good she is having it removed. They fast track anything remotely suspicious (in most cases benign) just in case, particularly post menopause.
@boboelephant how are you doing? Thinking it must be coming up to 12 weeks soon!
@myheartisbroke how are you feeling today?

@Laney79 and forgot to say, sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope that it is just a routine op and that she gets through it ok. Hugs xxx

@Laney It is odd how predominant male it seems to be. The only thing I can think is that women don't find the field as fascinating as men do because they've been dealing with their own foof all their lives? Haha!
I've had gynae issues since I was 14 and have only ever seen one female gynaecologist... I had a bad experience with her and felt she wasn't at all sympathetic. I have not once had a bad male gynae (and I've lost count of how many I've seen). I think as they have no experience of even having a period they don't assume they know how we feel and so are more attentive to easing our fears and are mindful of how they go about everything. (Just speaking from my experience). I can understand how it feels uncomfortable for a lot of women though.
You can always ask for a female chaperone to be with you, and I think they might let you insert the probe yourself if it's really bothering you? It might be worth checking. Stay brave, stay strong. You'll get through it, even if you find it unpleasant. Just think about what you'll be doing the same time the following day (or even an hour from then), and have something nice planned, even if it's just eating cake.

@Lilimum6 They will take a medical history (especially anything gynae related), ask about any medications and what vitamins etc you take and ask about your monthly cycles and ask about your miscarriages. It'll be handy to have your charts to hand, but make sure you know how long your cycles have been in the past year (maybe jot this down). If you find it hard talking about the miscarriages, or think you might miss anything out, I advise you write it down and hand it to them. They'll want to know if it was MC or MMC, and what week you lost them. Anything else you think may be relevant, let them know.
If you have any questions or particular fears, ask or tell them about it. E.g. if you have a hunch that something in particular is causing it, or is an issue, don't feel silly mentioning your gut feeling. They might be able to carry out tests or can reassure you.
I didn't have any physical examinations, but I think some places they might do an internal? Not sure what standard procedure is, but I wasn't checked over physically.
Then the doctor will probably just tell you the plan going forward. They'll do LOTS of blood tests (if you notice they haven't asked for particular ones which you would like done, again, mention this). They may order certain scans too, depending on what they think they need to find out. Then it's just the waiting game. When is the appointment? Good luck! You'll be fine! xx

Opps forgot to add chart

OK ladies I'm getting nervous about the rmc appointment. What should I expect from my first appointment.

Plus also FF app has finally decided I ovulated (chart included) which makes me 3dpo but based on opks I make it 5dpo (assuming I did actually ovulate), I have some much cramping today like AF is coming.

@fnej01 that's helpful, thank you. I will be on the phone tomorrow to see if she'll at least tell me the basic findings. I posted on another thread (plus DH has been reassuring me) and suggestion is that they probably wouldn't leave it a long time if there was really bad news that would affect another pregnancy. Hope not anyway... x

@ikphillips sorry meant to say I had 'product' sent off for analysis after my last early mc, where they asked us to try and collect tissue at home. I managed to persuade the secretary to give me the results over the phone and then the consultant followed up at my next appointment. In fairness their analysis showed maternal tissue only, so it wasn't like there was anything to discuss. I think I would ask the secretary for a telephone appointment with the consultant if I was you. July is too long to wait x

@Yukka Maybe next month I will try harder with the OPKs. This month I have tested once a day and maybe it’s not enough. So Friday and Saturday I got dark lines, yesterday and today I got much lighter lines.

Could that mean I ovulated Fri / Sat? I’m sure it’s to tell. I’ll keep going for a few more days and see

CM would to suggest to me close to ovulation but it’s hard to track CM when you’re dtd a lot too 🤷🏻‍♀️ sorry if TMI

Thanks @KnitKitty you're so right I should ask for the notes. Might find something out on the internet!
Ugh sorry you had to wait so long for your results - so frustrating. Thanks for your advice xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue congratulations, lovely to see a BFP on here. I can completely understand your worries, but please try to take one day at a time and enjoy it if you can. This is the first step for you getting to where you want to go.

@KnitKitty they increased me to the two a day with the NK cell diagnosis. Like you I am actually quite excited to try again after a long break. I am just going to try and relax and hope for the best 🤞. Remind me I said this in a months time lol.

@Mistymeow distraction wise I have been trying to do bits like clearing the garden and decorating that last year got very neglected due to the miscarriage/pregnancy cycle. Also going to do some decorating. Basically a few projects that I want to get out of the way before falling pregnant again. Also have watched a lot of Netflix - really enjoyed Schitts creek. My DH is studying for his MBA so have largely had to keep myself distracted with little projects.

Happy Monday to everyone else! X

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how you are feeling after seeing the BFP is completely normal after what you've been through, and 100% the reason this thread exists... It's an awful feeling wanting to bury your head in the sand at a time like this when you feel like you should be feeling really happy and joyful; but there are no shoulds. You deal with this pregnancy how you need to. I would encourage you to call your GP and discuss how you're feeling, and definitely get your early scan... But apart from making sure you're being sensible about looking after your body, you can totally give yourself permission to distract the hell out of yourself and attempt not to think about it most of the time (if you can). Stay strong! You can do this!

@ikphillips That does seem like a ridiculous amount of time to wait for results! Maybe ask for a copy of your results and/or notes. I'm pretty sure they have to oblige within 30 days of a written request... Hopefully you'll get a call from the consultant though. Mind you, thinking about it, it doesn't surprise me. Going through RMC I had tests done in early December and didn't get my results until 16 weeks later... So frustrating, BUT I wasn't trying at the time so didn't feel the need to know the results ASAP, which I completely understand you wanting to do as you're still trying.

fnej01 Yes, from what I've heard you have to wear a pantie-liner if you insert the pessaries in the front entrance. . I've only been prescribed one a day.

@Mistymeow We might try to get away somewhere this year...
I like doing physical activities to distract myself too. When I was recovering from my first MC I made two cushion covers, an apron and a patch-work ball... DIY isn't really an option as we rent... I'm going to think hard about what project I can start.

@InDreamland No, no one is allowed to judge you for how you cope with having lost two babies... especially babies you thought were your little miracles after so long trying. If anyone says anything and you feel unable to react how you'd like to to their face, either write them a message after (you don't have to send it to them, depending how you feel...) or find a pillow to shout at as if it's their face and really go to town letting your feelings out. (Tip: Punching pillows as hard as you can is not illegal... Just saying ) Hugs xxx

I chased up with my GP today because I handed in my hospital prescriptions the week before last and the pharmacy hadn't received anything; I hadn't had chance to chase them up with the wedding distractions of last week. They've now sent the prescriptions through to my pharmacy, so I should be able to pick them up at the end of the week. I've decided I'm going to start taking the meds to lower the prolactin as soon as I get them (was wondering about waiting until after the heart echo, but no one has explicitly told me to wait, and from what I've read it's not a routine check and I think my endocrinologist is maybe just being hyper-efficient without actually needing to be... I'm sick of waiting around, so I'll plough on instead). I'm still going to wait until my next cycle to start trying though, just to give my body a chance to react to the meds. From what I've heard they work quite quickly though. I'm actually feeling excited at the prospect of trying again. Three months ago the thought still terrified me.

Hi everyone. I'm back! I posted early on in this thread but possibly not much after as I got really stressed out last month. Appears I O'd late so af showed late despite the vast lack of symptoms! Well here we are again. 3 apps, 2 saying af due 17th one saying 12th. One says fertile period day 2, one saying O day and other saying fertile period starts tomorrow! Apps are Ovia, p tracker and Flo. Anyone else use these? Or know one reliable?
I wasn't going to OPK this month but for some reason late late last night I did one. It was close but negative. Did another today and it's possibly a shade lighter? (Pic attached) Cervix is really low and quite firm. Not sure if O has been or is coming. I'm so lost!!! Too late last night, bottom around lunch time today. Have i O'd or is it coming??? Stumped...

Good luck to those waiting. And congratulations to those with BFP. Wishing h&h pregnancies xxx

@MyHeart yes at 5 weeks they'll be able to see the sac is in the uterus and not the tube. At 6 weeks they can see a yolk sac which determines things are progressing, at 6.4 they can usually see a heartbeat. When you see them, and given the ectopic they will see you soon, explain to them how anxious you are and ask if it would be possible to have another appointment in a couple of weeks. They may put you in touch with miscarriage counselor too who I found quite helpful just to talk things through x

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - that's my plan! X

@ikphillips keep badgering!! I am so beyond worrying about if I am being a pain when it comes to things like this! Thinking of you xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I couldn't ignore your posts whilst srolling through. That line looks really good. I understand your feeling completely paralysed with fear but please try your best o relax a little. What will be will be but getting yourself in a tizzy won't change the outcome. I understand how hard this is for you but try to relax and enjoy it, just a tiny bit. Vent all you need to - this is a big thing and we're all here for you.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thanks for replying... I have badgered the poor woman today twice! I'm hoping if it was really critical they'd try to see me sooner? Who knows...

Keeping everything crossed for you this time around. It's such a tough time - this should be joyous time but sadly after MC I think that's just not possible... hope you can relax a little though x

Hi @Yukka I had one MC at ten weeks last summer and one ectopic/tube removal in February. I haven't been referred for any tests because the GP felt it was just "bad luck", but the EPU did tell me if I got pregnant again to call and get scanned at 5 weeks to see if it's in the right place. I will call tomorrow or the next day, right now I just want to crawl into bed and forget about it. And I never thought I would say that after a BFP!

Thank you everyone for being so kind  This is such a rubbish journey xxxx

@ikphillips I'm afraid I know nothing about that testing but the time frame is infuriating! Can you keep calling to see if you can speak to someone? That's what I would do xxx

@myheart this is really good news hun. The strength of the line wouldn't indicate whether its ectopic or not, its purely measure the amount of HCG in your system

Can I ask did you have 2 or 3 RMC's/ectopic's up until now? If you had 3, you really shoudl contact your GP and get down the early pregnancy unit, there is evidence to show that even just more scans and greater frequency of check points increase pregnancy outcomes.

I know exactly how you feel, but would encourage you to embrace this new pregnancy, separate from what happened in the past, stay focused on your wellbeing and how that flows into baby as strength and positivity xx

@alicerr, I would start testing more frequently form 'high' next time round. The dark line at 5pm and teh dark line at 2pm the next day could be the hormones on their way up, and then again on their way down, where you then got a fainter line in the evening. You 'may' have got your darkest line of all on a testing at 10m or 11pm. This is what I found, and didn't realise till I started testing more frequently.

But it could also be your body trying to OV and failing, and it might try again in a few days do you have any other normal symptoms to go off?

Hi @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue looks like a strong line, but totally understand you wanting to bury your head for a bit... I'd be the same!

I also need to hijack the thread to ask for some advice! I had an ERPC back in March and at the time they took some tissue for chromosomal testing. I've just had a letter asking me to go to the gynae clinic in Mid-July (?!?!) in relation to my results. Such a ridiculous timeframe! Obviously I phoned the consultant's office and asked if I should be worried as we're TTC again and the secretary said the consultant would phone me back some time...
Has anyone else had this? is it ever going to be good news/the all clear or always that there's a problem? So petrified... any advice gratefully received x