35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

Well how any of you understood my last message amazes me 😂. Between my grammar and predictive bloody text.... that essay was shocking 🤦‍♀️

It’s so hard isn’t it @Laney79. I just wish there was more advice and support on a regular basis..... waiting weeks to months between each appointment or general advice is a killer! I need to get rich..... I bet Kim Kardashian doesn’t put up with this 🤬.

Although I do feel the need to say that the nhs is wonderful and we are lucky to have it! But as @Bambi said, It’s just extremely over stretched!

I get confused with the opks @Laney When I used the CB advanced I had a flashing smiley for 13 days and a few BFP IC in that time. But when I did have the static smiley I also used an IC Opk with fmu and also had a bfp on that. It’s all so confusing
Lol. Sounds like your in with a chance though 🤞 ❤️

Oh no @BambiOnIce80 sorry your having a shitty start to the day ❤️

But I can completely see why. I would be more than angry and frustrated with that. It does just take away all sense of trust doesn’t it? Not to mention the personal side of things. It’s never only £500, especially after that amount of money. It’s so disheartening that you get 2 options...... free nhs (huge wait and not great communication) or huge amount of money, why is there no in between for us in the middle kinda folk! It’s such a big decision and I wish we could all do something to help you make it 😕 ❤️

Your Birthday get away sounds lovely and I bet it is just what you need. A break away from all this overthinking and guessing is so refreshing and I’m sure you will feel so much better having had it 😘. Me and DP are in such a better place having had some time away in the country. No TV or internet to google absolutely everything 😂 and no people asking why we don’t have children or imposing on us, just us doing exactly what we want to when we wanted!

Loving your fur baby @VenusStarr 😍 what a cutie. I hope you get you counselling through soon and I hope it helps.

Glad your staying @QuantumnGIrl 😊. Wow NY amazing. I loved the place. Make sure you have your walking shoes. Please try the cheesecake (it is amazing on every level).
We didn’t get chance but the helicopter over the city is supposed to be worth a go (best to book in advance). Also a little Cliche but the city tour bus is fab, it helped us find our bearings and plan where to spend our time.
An absolute must for us though was the World Trade Centre. The views from the top are amazing and the whole area is an experience.

Ah forgot @VenusStarr your fur baby is gorgeous 😻😻😻

Oh girlies, @BambiOnIce80 @Laney79 @Carley32 you are all so lovely 🧡😊. You convinced me, let's do this ivf beast together 💪.

@Laney79 The NHS in my area has a long waiting list and from what I've been reading it's 'one size fits all' so I don't think it will suit my low AMH needs. On top of it I am one of those people that procrastinate a lot and then panics and now that I understand what my test results mean, I’m truly in panic mode.

@BambiOnIce80 I’m like you also had doubts about whether or not have a child is for me until I realised how much I ‘prepared’ my life for one without even realising. It was little things like the spare bedroom, the savings for mat leave, slightly changes in job role etc. I have been ‘projecting’ for a long time and only now I realise it. It feels sad just to think about it 😢 and on top of it I’m obsessing with ivf and what to do to get my period back 😢.

I’m off to the US soon so hopefully it will take my mind off things for a while. The ivf open day is after my trip. I’ve been to NY before but just for work and this time I’m going a few days earlier with DH and I don’t know where to go or what to do so any advice from you lovelies would be very much appreciated. I love fashion but my favourite brands are all British so I’m stuck for options (first world problems, I know 🙄).

@VenusStarr I’m with the girls re. Counselling. Sometimes only a good chat will do. If there are any colleagues doing counselling course near you they might be able to help for a small fee. The main thing is to keep positive which I know is easier said than done. Sometimes we all fall into our own black holes and is difficult to get out 🧡🧡🧡

Thank you @Carley32 @Laney79 and @BambiOnIce80 ❤️ I have looked a bit on the miscarriage association previously. I'm still waiting for my nhs counselling! Got an occupational health appointment this week so may get something via them. Dh said he's not been thinking about it but what I've learnt is that doesn't matter, how our minds and bodies process grief isn't linear.

On the plus side, my little fur baby is super clingy. Enjoying these cuddles 😊 (that's my arm!)

@QuantumGirl sorry about your test results lovely. I have a feeling I may be joining you with similar news when my AMH result is back looking at my results so far. I don't get the mild ivf either-surely they need to throw the kitchen sink at our nethers to get the maximum possible quality/quantity? If it helps the open evening we went to locally was brilliant-very helpful. Are you past the cut off for nhs funding in your area? As @BambiOnIce80 said there's several of us now starting the ivf journey by the looks and this feels like a safer space to chat at the mo. Hand duly held out for a hold!

@BambiOnIce80 It was lovely thanks. The b&b was just north of loch ken near castle Douglas in Dumfries and Galloway. Really beautiful area and we were very lucky with the weather! I do love Scotland anyway, but had never been to that area-always went north to St. Andrews, Edinburgh, Inverness, aviemore, Elgin etc. As for being conflicted, it's a really tough one. Part of me desperately wishes I could go back to before I fell pregnant the first time and not allow it to happen-we were happy with our lives and weren't desperate for kids, but as soon as I fell pregnant a switch flicked on us both and now both of us really want it, and I would go as far as to say I need it to happen-such a strong deep down feeling. Very hard to explain. Hope you get some clarity soon.

Hugs @VenusStarr Wish there was something we could do to help xxx

@Carley32 Sounds like a nice weekend. I too wish there was some sort of guarantee -doesn't seem fair we have to go through all this with no idea of if it will even happen for us. Bloody law of the sod!

Well-I think my body is playing tricks again -has first flashy high fertility sat morning, did cheapie opks later that arvo and before bed but no sign of a positive-but Sunday I got a peak on clear blue and a positive cheapie with fmu! -and my temp went up! So I guess my body must ovulate as the surge starts, rather than the 24-36 hrs later for most women. Thankfully DTD Thursday eve and when I got home yesterday so fingers crossed we're in with a chance. Another short cycle for me though-ov cd10 so likely a 23 day cycle. Got to see the consultant tomorrow as a result of my chasing last week. Bricking it as I have to go solo (oh is at work and couldn't get time off at such short notice) -my medical phobia is such a bloody battle on top of everything else. 🙄😔

Hope you enjoyed your weekend @BambiOnIce80 it certainly has been the weather for alcohol and visitors. ☀️🥂 all we’ve done is eat and drink (probably not the best idea I know).

Don’t apologise for an essay! I think when it becomes as real and as soon as it is for you right now, it can be more than a little terrifying! I panic if absolutely everything to do with actually conceiving and the future after. But alway end up feeling a little down at the thought of missing such a magical experience and of growing older without a family.

Hi @QuantumGirl completely understand you through process. Although I do hope you hang around, as @Bambi said there are some of us that has been here for a good while who’s care and advice would definitely be missed ❤️

I wish there was more help and advice available, but everyone’s answer seems to be.... it can take years so just hang on and hope for the best. Which is fine if I was able to be sure it would happen by then. It’s a hard old slog.

@Laney79 getting away and opening your mind really does help take your thoughts of ttc. Sounds like a lovely win dad! I wouldn’t mind a visit to Scotland myself 😍.

Oh @VenusStarr big hugs to you. We are here whenever you need ❤️

Thanks for the link @BambiOnIce80.

Sorry I've been so quiet, things aren't so good here. Dh has become really withdrawn and low 😢 just wish we could wake up and it all be OK.

Hope everyone is doing well xx

Hi ladies, hope you are all having a great Easter Sunday. I've been quiet, have had a lot of background reading and decisions to make. My tests results are back and they are surprisingly bad AMH is 0.7 and FSH is 12.9) it really took me by surprise. On top of it DH SA came back as low on quantity (36m) and 'normality' is 1.5%. On top of it I still haven't got a period. I must be perimenopausal.

Because my AMH is so low, not many clinics will take me on even though I'm under 40 so the message I've been given is ivf is my best bet and get on with it. So here we are. There is clinic open day coming up soon which I will attend but they only do the 'mild' ivf which in their sales pitch seems to work better with those with low AMH but it doesn't make sense to me. If my AMH is low, shouldn't I be on a 'high' one? Also where fo you draw a line financially? The Lister clinic has a 'pregnancy calculator ' on their website which in reality is a pregnancy statistics and no one with my levels conceived on the first trial.

I've been hanging around the infertility board for a while as I feel my issues are better suited there but if you guys want to start a parallel thread in there I could really do with some good handhold from you lovelies 💛

@79andnotout I completely understand your position and I miss you on this thread. Hope things start to look up soon 💐

Sorry for the silence from my end. It’s been quite a week. I’ve ended up having huge amounts of stress due to the nightmare that is the health system. I’ve had the wrong birthday on the private blood forms, oh’s referral for a sperm test returned by the assessment service saying it has to be In my name, and then to top it off I was told my nhs fertility referal had been cancelled on the system and no reason why...which bearing in mind the deadline I have of starting ivf by 24th July was devastating. Thankfully I chased it up and spoke to a very helpful secretary who has sorted it out for me, and we think we’ve got the sperm test sorted too but they really do not make it easy!! It feels like some kind of endurance test, how much do we really want this and how much s**t can we take before we crack!

As a result of the probs the issue of fertile week and the sperm analysis is no longer an issue! got My first flashing smiley today so hoping we can give things a good try over the coming days.

Also has another day3 test but done on day 4..my oestradiol is way too high for day three (729 pmol/l this time 798 pmol/l) FSH is higher than it was when I did the first day3 test (8.7 v 4.91) so I’m thinking my hormones are screwed. My oestradiol is three times higher than it should be at that stage of my cycle. I’m a bit worried that maybe that is what’s caused my losses. I’ve Always assumed my progesterone was ok as I had two missed miscarriages and my body wouldn’t let go but now I’m not so sure. My progesterone test (the 21st day test which was 7 days after ov) was 29.4 nmol/l which is borderline to prove ovulation. AF did arrive as expected 7 days after the test. So now worrying that hormones have caused my mc’s and will stop me from catching/having ivf...arghhh

So pleased to hear your scan went well @Russkispy

@BambiOnIce80 So pleased the open eve went well, love the free pen! I'd deffo use it just to freak people out.

Glad you've had a good weekend away @Carley32 -I'm currently in Scotland. My dad won a competition for a two night stay so I've driven him. Gorgeous weather and scenery and although I can't stop thinking about TTC/ivf etc it has helped stop me from obsessions to the level I normally.

Good news about the open evening @BambiOnIce80. Who doesn’t love a free pen, even if it is best used only at home!
I’m glad you got some positive vibes there. It’s good to know you have options.

As for the RHR I have also noticed a spike just before af then it dips right back down. Iv noticed this for 2 cycles. As for My fertile window, I haven’t been paying to much attention to that in previous months (with all that was going on) but according to my app and a bfp OPK along with a few mini cramps, FW is maybe here and my RHR has indeed began to rise. Although I have been away and probably had a few more wines than I should have 🤦‍♀️ Sorry not to be more help lol.

Well me and DP had a lovely time away, it turns out that it was exactly what we needed, and some time away from stress certainly did us both good. So I’m feeling like things are looking up 🤞.

Anyone have any plans for this lovely bank holiday weekend?

@Weathergirl1, my pregnancy twin 😉 Harmony test is on the 7th. Booked st the London Fertility clinic where I had it before with my DD. And yours?
Feeling very tired and nauseous every day. But not complaining. Just glad these are the signs of progression as I had a MMC last year and one day I had nausea and literally next day all symptoms stopped and the scan confirmed the bad news. So very apprehensive this time around. And how are you feeling?

🤣🤣🤣 at your free pen @bambionice80 - seriously, who do they expect to use such a piece of marketing?! Sounds like a good appointment though 👍

You're about the same as me @russkispy (give or take which dates I use 🙄) - waiting for Harmony test too in about 3 weeks - on the same page regarding hurdles.

Glad to hear your manager is looking out for you @venusstarr - goes to show there are some nice people about 🤗

Thank you for the link @BambiOnIce80, do you notice any side effects? Do you take them every day too?

Your open evening sounds like it was worthwhile, who doesn't like a free pen?! (that you'll only use in the comfort of your own home ) sounds like you're well on the way to making an informed choice xx

Wonderful news @Russkispy 💜

I wanted to ask if anyone has taken / been taking ubiquinol? If so, can you post a link to what you take and what your dosage is please? Some I've seen say 100ng and done up to 300mg per day. Also, some are white expensive, so don't want to waste money! Dh is getting back on the wellman tablets. We aren't going to actively time dtd (especially as I am still having positive tests so no idea when my cycle will go back to normal and I ovulate) but want to give us a fighting chance when we're ready.

Today is better than yesterday :) have a good day everyone x

Jut finished my early Scan which went very well and all progressing well and according to the dates! 7w3d today! And only 1 baby! Strong heartbeat! tears of relief about everything! Booked for another reassurance scan in 2 weeks! Then harmony test in 3 weeks and anxiously waiting for its results. In the meantime time, still feeling tired every night and nausea kicked in last week, and boobs are still tender from the day of transfer. But I'm not complaining. Just feeling blessed we've gone that far and still more hurdles to overcome

Just popping in to say hi. Thanks for your lovely messages of support. Having a pretty bad day. Got sent home from work as I was so upset. In hindsight I may have gone back too soon. My manager is being really supportive though and is happy for me to do as much or as little as I want.

I thought I might go for a swim this afternoon but then I remembered its half term and I just don't think I can face it 😔💔

I am still keeping up with you guys, hope you're all OK xx

Morning @BambiOnIce80 hope you had a good weekend.

Yea i feel good about. Trying not to let the concerning hiccup get to me just yet. I’m CD13 fw was around CD20 last month. So 🤞 for more average length cycle. Not get getting my hopes up though. No cf at all just yet 🙄.

Maybe ov early was meant to be for that 1 time 🤞. Your in with a chance. But I understand how much pressure it all is. So maybe just go with the flow for a bit 🙈😂 easier said I guess.... I’m like a women possessed around this time of my cycle 😳.

Well I don’t know if this will make anyone feel better but, my sister in law had unexplained fertility troubles so she had IVF, it took up until the 3rd round for her healthy baby girl to be born who is now 10 months old. Sis in law is now 10 weeks pregnant from a natural conception. Maybe taking your mind of it really does help 🤷‍♀️

Happy Monday ladies x

I’m sorry you’ve not felt great @79andnotout and completely understand you needing a break. Take some you time. I hope it helps xxx

Sounds like a positive plan @beverlymarsh.

Hi @Laney79. Well it doesn’t sound that your any the wiser... communication can be so frustrating when it’s just so poor. I guess it’s good you have things moving but just a pain in the arse that you can’t get any sense out of anyone 🙈.
Sorry about af. Ovulating around those days should be fine though shouldn’t it? I’m so clueless with it all, I can’t be much help to anyone.
I went through the same when booking my appointment, I tried to avoid af week then fw so it kept dragging out (as I obviously can’t plan when those times are) but inbit the bullet and it worked out well in the end. The doctor I spoke to said sperm can most definitely last up to 6days, so if you app is in fw just bang one out 2.5 days before the SA then a day or 2 after 👍😁. Hope your staying positive xx

My appointment.... firstly The whole experience was very warm, welcoming and not at all rushed or stressful. SA came back in perfect nic, In fact it seems that DP has super sperm (i hope this will give him some bloody confidence).
I had my internal, it wasn’t as unpleasant as I was expecting. He didn’t find anything of concern while roaming around my uterus, although it seemed to take him a while to find my right ovary, but when he did find it and was poking around there seemed to explain the weird pain Iv been having in my side, because I felt it starting to niggle during the exam, not sure what it means, he didn’t have much to say about it.
He did on the other hand say that there was a nice juicy follicle there, is this a good sign?
So no worries with the SA or the internal.
He didn’t seem worried that my periods were light but did seem a little concerned that they vary between 31 and 40 days. He wondered if I was ovulating regularly. He was annoyed that my doctor wouldn’t give me my bloods and he is writing to her to ask for them. He is also writing to her to advise that I have more bloods done throughout my cycle.

Other than that he did say that the pill is a bit of a body 🤬 and it can in fact take 12 or more months for it to get going properly again. He is writing the letters to gp, but suggested that in the meantime I just relax and carry on ttc. He said to go back for a review in 4-6 months (this was also included in the price) to see where to go next. But hopefully by then my cycles will regain a little normality.

I’m feeling ok about it. Good I guess but still concerned over the cycle length. But at least someone has listened and taken the time to explain different scenarios to me. Which helped me prepare for next steps if necessary.
He didn’t try and sell me anything at all, in fact he said that i can go back and forth and jump on the nhs train at anytime.