Page 28 | The July 19ers - The rollercoaster continues, scream if you wanna go faster

Frazzlerock · 2019-02-26T07:35:48+00:00

We can do this ladies. We can take on anything

Original poster

Frazzlerock · 27/02/2019 18:51

@Pegase I'm glad your out and feeling okay, physically at least. Also it's good the hospital staff were kind. How are you feeling about it all? Emotionally?

Yes I agree, education on this is so important. What makes me so sad to see is announcements on social media. There's one on my Instagram now and everyone is saying congrats and he'll be a great dad and responsibilities to come etc.. I am biting my fingers not to post "I hope you get to meet your baby". As far as I concerned it is more of a given that they won't and it breaks my heart to see so much expectation and excitement. I was the same. Never in a million years thought I'd be affected by one MC, let alone multiple.

I am 40 so in TTC terms pretty past my use by date. Though I know women have babies into their late 40's these days. I feel that my PCOS delays things as it is so my age is just another thing. I wish so much DP hadn't left it so long to change his mind. But hey, it looks like he is changing back to no baby again so fuck knows.
Since I've got home his mood seems crap again, despite lots of perky text messages today. I don't know what's going on. I just hope it passes soon and things go back to normal. I'm sure if he gets a job soon he'll be happy again and we can get back to it. I'll probably write this cycle off though 😢

@InDreamland That sounds positive right? How long will you wait for AF before testing?

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InDreamland · 27/02/2019 18:27

Okay, so every single cycle since mc#1 has been 12 days between my OPK going static smiley and then AF starting 13 days later. Only 1 exception was BFP in November which sadly turned into mc#2. Based on that, AF is due today.

InDreamland · 27/02/2019 17:24

@Pegase glad you're home now. Hope you're being well looked after x

InDreamland · 27/02/2019 17:23

@Frazzle good about your DP, hopefully the good mood continues. Please don't apologise, we're all here to support each other and you support all of us.

@DartmoorDoughnut hope you get a BFP next week.

@Rose thank you. I'm half hoping and half realistic. Someone on the other thread I'm on said generally LP is same so I'm gonna work out what they had been in previous cycles as i have the dates and then work out when AF is due as I did ov a couple of days later than usual.

Pegase · 27/02/2019 16:48

Also Tigsy so exciting about your house- love house shopping!

Pegase · 27/02/2019 16:48

Sorry Frazzle that you are having such a bad week. Sorry to ask but I can't remember - I know you have children already but how old are you? Is time a big pressure on top of everything else?

ERPC was fine- did feel a bit scared when I went through to the operating theatre areas but everyone was so lovely and kind at least. At home feeling exhausted now.

Going through this, and seeing my friends suffer prolonged infertility, has made me realise how important it is that we have honest conversations with young women(and men!) about their 'biological clock'. Not to scare them but there is such an attitude of 'you can have it all,' career first etc (Google offer egg storage for female employees!) that sometimes people forget that you might not get pregnant in one year, or two, or however long and you need to leave enough time for having problems. For this hoped for baby, I put off trying as was enjoying life, everything back to normal after last pregnancy 6 years ago and now I am cursing myself for not getting on with it earlier! and then you have the problem of needing your partner to be willing also! It's a nightmare!

ratherbeshowjumping · 27/02/2019 16:25

Thanks everyone. My DSis has a lot of drama going on herself, I guess she didn't think, but it did really sting😕 god knows why or how she got herself pg again. I understand accidents happen and not everything is 100% but surely after one incident you'd take even more care to ensure you're protected?

@Kinsters perhaps a little too early, but a girl can dream... 😬🤞🏼

@Frazzlerock I'm so sorry you're feeling so sad. Wish I could just reach out & give you a big hug. I'm glad your little rainbow band is still hanging out. I agree with @tigsyboo, it seems men can only deal with one stress at a time & it may be the sense of rejection not having a new offer on the table is likely amplified by feeling like he's failing you by not getting you pg... just a thought xx

@DartmoorDoughnut I've been ok thanks, how have you been? This group has been a lifeline for me... how did you deal with the mc when it happened? Hope you had lots of support.

@Rose68 thank you, I hope DH has lightening quick little swimmers 🤞🏼

How did you get on today @Pegase xxx

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/02/2019 15:37

@Frazzlerock I think it’s more likely to be an indent line but a girl can dream 😄 I am 99.9% sure I ov’d on Friday, had a static smiley on CB ov digi test and ov pains.

Original poster

Frazzlerock · 27/02/2019 14:35

5dpo does seem early. Could you have ov'd earlier than you thought?

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DartmoorDoughnut · 27/02/2019 14:21

@tigsyboo congrats on the house!

@ratherbeshowjumping sorry to see you here too how have things been since then? Hope your sister hasn’t given you any more news re friends today!

Hope everyone is doing ok and enjoying the sunshine ☀️ I’m trying desperately not to symptom spot but can’t help myself, bought a cheapie test from Lloyd’s earlier and can see a shadow of a line which obvs isn’t actually possible (5dpo) but fingers crossed it actually is correct 😂

Original poster

Frazzlerock · 27/02/2019 14:07

Thank @tigsy I'm just super sensitive today, not even a run could sort my head out today, in fact it made it worse as I spent the whole run overthinking everything. Sorry if I seemed like I was being brash x

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tigsyboo · 27/02/2019 14:02

@Frazzlerock ... I didn't mean relax as in 'chill out will you' I meant do something to make your self more relaxed.... not to shelve the ttc, just a different focus ie looking at wedding venues, dresses etc that's something positive and different to focus the main attention on while your DH sorts his head out a little (which I'm sure will happen!)
My DH was the same throughout our court process - he couldn't see past that and it sounds similar to yours and his job issues. I don't think men can deal with more than one stress at a time! X

Original poster

Frazzlerock · 27/02/2019 13:39

haha, @tigsy if only it were that simple eh? I'd have sorted myself out during all that time DP refused to TTC after our first two losses. I could have just relaxed about it
I was quite relaxed before DP started pulling the plug again this time, excited to be TTC and to have that chance of a BFP and possibly a baby to hold at the end.
In all seriousness, I do understand where you are coming from when you're not in it and I appreciate you saying that, but relaxing is not the easiest thing to do when you have been in so much emotional pain for such a long long time and then have to endure it yet again. There is only so much one human being can take. I've tried meditation and breathing techniques, counselling, CBT, and life coaching. I've taken up knitting (and failed), reading loads, watching box sets, and my latest is sewing - I want to upholster the nursing chair we bought when we were expecting our little boy. I will still decorate the nursery. It's the only thing I have left to cling onto.

I'm glad you're not suffering too much with early pregnancy, nausea is good though, even slightly.

Oh and great news about your house! It is an exciting time to be looking for a new place. I hope it isn't a long process. When we were expecting Emily we decided to sell both our flats and had found the house we're in now. Apart from problems with the legal stuff on the lease on my flat it was pretty pain sailing and it was the best thing we have done. If it weren't for the fact we were expecting Emily we'd never have moved.
Do you have a house in mind?

@Rose thank you, I have my fingers crossed too. How are you getting on?

@InDreamland you're like me. I don't bother testing as I would rather see AF than a negative test. I hope AF never shows up for you

I'm sorry to everyone that I have been so self focused lately. If DP makes that decision to break my heart again (and I will know when we next BD if he pulls out or not) I will slip away from this group quietly xx

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tigsyboo · 27/02/2019 11:38

Thanks all

@ratherbeshowjumping I can't believe someone would tell you that....

@Frazzlerock dreams always feed from your subconscious- I really do think you need to try and relax
I can't imagine being as stressed as you are, perhaps a month of a different focus - even if it's the wedding of something. You can't make yourself ill hun and all this stress will not help anything especially not baby making!!

@TwittleBee any more issues or pains??

I'm 5 weeks today and apart from feeling VERY slightly queasy for a few mins each morning I've got no symptoms. Actual gp should be calling soon x

Rose68 · 27/02/2019 09:27

@Tigsy that’s amazing about your house! We put ours on the market a couple of weeks ago, but no one has even stepped foot inside! We had a couple of viewings that were cancelled and one where they made it to the house, but then our neighbour decided to tell them they couldn’t park where they had parked and that was it, they left 😬

@Buggles how many weeks are you? Have you managed to get an early scan?

@Indreamland it’s good your LP is a bit longer this month, but hopefully it’s longer because you are pg!

@Ratherbe even if they were O pains last night, this morning is definitely not too late. Some sperm can get to the egg really quickly. I am sorry to hear about your friend & I completely understand why it upset you, I guess she regretted her decision.

@Kinsters, sorry to hear about your cold, that sucks esp as you’ve just had thrush!

@Frazzle good news about DP! FX it stays that way until after ovulation.

Original poster

Frazzlerock · 27/02/2019 09:10

@rather that is a pretty shit thing to tell you. Fair enough she had to terminate but you really didn't need to know that right now.
Hang on, if she aborted in December then why is she even preg again? That's a rhetorical question btw. I don't understand the human race

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Original poster

Frazzlerock · 27/02/2019 09:06

I had a dream that I got a positive pregnancy test. It was so real. I woke up feeling completely let down when I realised it wasn't true

DP seems in a better mood... I don't know what to think about whether we are TTC or not. I guess I need to wait and see what he does when we next BD.

My rainbow on a string around my wrist is still hanging on. It seems to be the only thing right now that isn't letting go of all this. If I believed in stuff like that I would see it as a sign, but I know it is BS.

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InDreamland · 27/02/2019 08:25

Thanks @ratherbeshowjumping. Why on earth does anyone think telling someone who's going through what we are things like that.

@Kinsters I don't think I'll test now unless AF doesn't arrive by Sunday. I can't cope with more disappointment.

Kinsters · 27/02/2019 08:17

Rose weird, mine must just be a coincidence.

Kinsters · 27/02/2019 08:15

I'm only 4dpo rather so don't think my symptoms could be pregnancy related much as I wish they were!

Why would your sister think you need to know all that?!

Indreamland not chancing another test?

Rose68 · 27/02/2019 08:13

@Kinsters I always get thrush after ovulation, a year ago I was getting it every month after ovulation, it drove me insane & I did research it. It seems that it is a thing for thrush to occur during the LP.

ratherbeshowjumping · 27/02/2019 07:58

Hi everyone,
Sorry I've been quiet, the WiFi here is rubbish and I've been using it as an excuse to leave social media alone.

@Frazzlerock thank you for the new thread & I truly am so sorry that it looks like DH is pulling the plug on it. I guess he's just worried financially but the pain you were clearly in last time... sending lots of hugs to you x
Also, watched abducted in plain sight on the plane with my DM. We were looking at each other very other minute like 🥴 WTF. Very, very odd (and sad of course!).

@DartmoorDoughnut I remember you from the July thread, I'm so sorry to see you on here 😕 fx'd this will be your month!

@Pegase sending lots of love today, good luck, I hope it goes as well as it does xxx

@tigsyboo that's fab news re the house! Have you looked at one yet? We are passively looking and went to see one on Friday before we went away and fell in love, so I read your post to DH this morning 😂

@Buggles1 I can imagine it would hit you hard. It's bound to. I'm sure this will turn out much more positive and hopefully you'll have little ones a few months apart with a close bond x

@Rose68 ouch, sorry about the thrush. Hope you're ok x

@Kinsters the cold is a great sign! And even better that your temp has remained steady... how many dpo are you now?

@InDreamland the waiting game is so frustrating isn't it 😫 sorry it doesn't sound like it's your month.

DHs thrush has finally cleared up a bit so we managed to dtd this morning. I had a cb digi fixed smiley yesterday and usually O within 24hrs of that so fx'd it isn't too late. I had O type pains last night so hoping and praying it was just indigestion and I'll O today. Not holding out for this cycle.

DSis informed me yesterday that a good mutual friend of ours is pg, she apparently aborted twins in Dec and has been off/on seeing the guy since Sept. Already has a lovely DD from her previous (long term) relationship who she split with after 15 years in the summer. Really upset me... and really upset me that my DSis thought it would be a good idea to tell me too but that's another story!

InDreamland · 27/02/2019 07:06

@Buggles1 sorry lovely don't know how I missed your post yesterday. Sorry you're finding her pregnancy difficult but I can totally understand and would be the same.

@Kinsters hope that cold goes soon. I've got another cold too. DH gave it to me. I wonder what the link is between ov and thrush clearing up, do hormones affect it?

CD29 for me and 11/12 DPO now. AF not arrived yet, based on last couple of cycles since mc#2 AF was due on Monday but given I ov'd later than usual who set off that's caused a longer cycle this month, or cycle going back to what it was before.

Kinsters · 27/02/2019 06:39

No, that makes sense Buggles. You have to protect yourself. How far along are you now? Fingers crossed for the early scan.

Buggles1 · 27/02/2019 06:15

Hope the cold gets better soon Kinsters. Sorry to hear about that thrush as well Rose. Is it worth seeing if the doc can suggest something other than the regular over the counter meds?