I feel so broken.

How are you feeling, OP?

@raspberrylime123 I remember hitting the 6 month mark and feeling very down. Yes it isn't long but it's often the timeframe most people have in your head like by x (6 months) I'm sure I'll have fallen. And you start thinking this Xmas i have had said baby or at least the pregnant etc.

Others are right 6 months isn't a long time but that doesn't invalidate your feelings. It's okay to feel down and broken and if it's really affecting you seek support but i say have your down moments, have a good cry and then try to keep your chin up and keep bedding and staying positive that it will happen!

I meant DH sorry I really should check before I post on here!

@raspberrylime123 I'm in the exact same position as you I'm on Cycle 5 expecting AF on weds I don't test until AF is late mainly because I will just get myself in a massive mood if I test and it's BFN, what I find helps too is DG always asks when I'm due AF because he likes to know if I'm late I guess and I always tell him I'm due a couple days after I actually am so he doesn't ask of AF has come yet, I also find that going to the gym helps me I take all my anger and stress out on the treadmill and then i feel like I've turned it in to a positive, I read a couple of books called the secret and the power not sure if you've heard of them or read them but they really helped me change my way of thinking, It will happen for you! And just keep telling yourself that, I thought when I came off the pill in sept that I'd be pregnant by March and here I am not pregnant so yeah some could say I'm a bit disappointed but then I thought what the heck I'm not pregnant I don't need to save money so I'm getting my teeth done instead, treat yourself! And please be kind to yourself! You can't do anymore than your already doing. Book a nice holiday give you something to look forward too xx

@raspberrylime123 - I found around the six month mark really hard. Felt like I should have done it by then. Genuinely, stopping testing really helped. It didn't stop me feeling sad when AF came along, but it did stop me feeling quite so hopefully and so less crushed. It meant that it didn't feel like I was trying to aim for something and 'failing'.

You said in your OP that you felt like you're near a breakdown over it. If you really are feeling that distressed, I second the suggestions for counselling. It may help too. Also, if you haven't, think about telling a friend. I told one of my best mates, and she's been there through all of the initial excitement that we were trying, the feeling of 'fuck this shit', the excitement when I got my first BFP and support when I lost it. It also helps that she's not TTC and isn't planning to. Watching friends get preggers is very bittersweet.

Good luck - really sorry you're having a rough time.

Hi op

6 cycles really isn't long? Can I ask how old you are?

I do think you seem to be obsessing a bit, do try to relax. The best thing I did was purchase some cheap ovulation tests from ebay, then you can time your shags just right. Just forget the pregnancy tests, you will either get pregnant or you won't, wait until you are a few days late for your period.

Maybe yous should have ask how long she had been trying before mentioning yourselves having to end up going to fertility clinic, as she's going to worry that she may have to do that.

No one suggested she go to a fertility clinic though. Clearly a few of us who replied have experience of infertility and have been trying a lot longer than the OP so are at that stage to seek medical support / advice / intervention.

Good luck OP.

@ivf2019
I'm not asking or care if you respond to my me 🤷🏼‍♀️.
There has been mentioned of a medical help and going to fertility clinics which wnt be helping OP and will get her think that she will have to go dwn that route. I think it's better me saying try to relax than talking about doctors and medical help and fertility doctors. She's only been trying for a short time!

@Loveskaka I won't be responding to any of your messages any more. Nobody has mentioned IVF to the OP. Have a .

OP, I'd assumed you'd been trying for longer. It can take a year for healthy couples with no issues to conceive so you're relatively early on and chances are it'll happen soon. Just keep having regular sex, no smoking & cut back on booze (if you drink). Good luck.

So it does sound like ur stressing and obsessing as you've not been trying long. So please, I know it's hard but you could have another couple of months of this and you will end up miserable if u keep worrying. People are talking about u going to the docs without even asking how long you've been trying! So to me that would worry me if I have people saying that and talking about ivf etc. There's nothing to worry about ur still in the very early stages of TTC. Where you on the pill?

Ok then dnt stress?? Oh I am not allowed to say that either

The OP doesn't actually say that she is taking multiple tests or is stressing particularly. She's just down (understandably) and has had some good advice.

OP, hope you feel better soon.

Ok, keep stressing and being uptight. 🤷🏼‍♀️

How kind.

I am not saying stress stops you from conceiving but it certainly dsnt help!

Ok, keep stressing and being uptight. 🤷🏼‍♀️

But, do stop testing, if you are several days late then that is when to test

Hi all three times I conceived I was on a break from work (only one led to a baby) But, that may be coincidence, there have been studies that confirm there is no link between conception and lack of stress

Mine didn't either. If stress stopped women from conceiving then nobody with high-stress jobs or living in warzones would ever get pregnant.

Stress is unhelpful for your mental health I agree, and trying to conceive is particularly stressful, but there's such an element of underlying blame to saying that "if you stop thinking about it it'll happen".

Mine didn't say that @loveskaka. He said make sure we're dtd regularly and that it can take the average couple up to a year. Luckily he didn't blame my stress levels on my inability to conceive. Like @ivf2019 said, telling someone to relax and it will happen is unhelpful.

How long have u been trying for op?

Doctors will say trying stop stressing and thinking about it aswell .

So sorry you're feeling so low @raspberrylime123, it really is awful.
I don't think that "stop obsessing and worrying" is helpful advice - if someone had a health concern nobody would tell them to stop worrying about it. It feeds into the idea that you're doing something to stop yourself from getting pregnant which you're not.

Good suggestion from @VenusStarr about counselling. I haven't had proper one-on-one counselling but did manage to get a 5 week group CBT course through a local service that my GP recommended which helped a little. Could you look into local services or speak to your GP?

Also, I've found that I find it a little less difficult now that I have a plan in place - have you had any fertility investigations? If you've been trying over a year (or 6 months if you're over 35) you can speak to your GP about it and they'll likely arrange some blood tests to check you're ovulating and poss a sperm test for your partner. It's a good first step.

I'm sure you've already thought of this too but is there anything you can do to help relax? Colouring books, knitting, reading, massage, walking... any hobbies that give you a little "you" time to try and switch your brain off? Knitting and acupuncture have helped me in that respect.

Good luck and hope you find yourself feeling better (and preferably pregnant!) soon xx

I agree with the others - stop testing. It's horrible. Getting AF is still a bit rubbish, but it doesn't feel as awful as seeing the negative and then have that brief flicker of hope stamped out. Xx