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Conception

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Original poster

The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread

986 replies

Frazzlerock · 31/01/2019 10:32

Brew Cake

The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread
OP posts:
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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 10:49

I can't believe how long you had to wait for yours @Twittle. My first one was offered next day but I declined as I wasn't ready to let go of my baby. So it was booked for a few days later. It was up to me really. This was NHS too. With our most recent one I was offered the surgery for a couple of days later. And these are two completely different areas. My first was in SW London and my recent one was in Tunbridge Wells.
I don't understand why some hospitals procedures are so different. It's unbelievably cruel to be left waiting Sad

OP posts:
tigsyboo · 22/02/2019 10:38

NHS PROCEDURES SUCK!!!!!!!! 🤬

TwittleBee · 22/02/2019 10:30

Ah that is good they can at least book yo in so quickly for it though Pegase (I had to wait 2.5 weeks for mine). I am so sorry though that you are having to go through this Sad I am so heartbroken for you. I hope you can have a good weekend despite everything

Pegase · 22/02/2019 10:18

Well apparently as only 3 days since last scan, they are not allowed to officially confirm miscarriage despite the fact I am over 7 weeks with empty gestational sac. I managed to get provisionally booked in for surgical management next Wednesday when it will have been a week, after having a scan first on Tuesday however as I said to the nurse we both know this is hopeless and you are just following procedure.

Rose68 · 22/02/2019 10:16

I told them I wanted to go the fastest route & she straight away booked me in for an ERPC x

Rose68 · 22/02/2019 10:14

@Pegase I am so so sorry. They really can’t make you wait it out if you don’t want to xxx

TwittleBee · 22/02/2019 09:57

I am so so so sorry Pegase - they really might not tell you to just wait it out, my sac only had a yolk in and they were very supportive of my ERPC decision. It is so hard that they then make you go and sit with pregnant women isnt it - the EPU just hasnt the right balance at all, really should be separated better

Kinsters · 22/02/2019 09:57

So sorry Pegase, that's really horrible and unfair.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 09:56

Why on earth are you apologising @Pegase!

As @Tigsy has said, we are all here for you. Please ask to be seated somewhere else xx

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tigsyboo · 22/02/2019 09:52

@Pegase we are all here for you 100% xx

Pegase · 22/02/2019 09:49

Thanks for the tip @tigsyboo - will do that when I finally get called. I thought there was some sort of best practice where people suffering miscarriage are not sent back to sit with people who are still pregnant but yet here I am waiting.

Sorry for massive negativity being the first repeat loss since we joined this thread.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 09:47

Oh @Pegase! I'm so sorry lovely, This is all so shit Sad
If you are not happy about waiting it out then you don't have to. My first loss they recommended being operated on, they should not be sending you on your way! They should be giving you all the options of management. Shit, I am so so sorry xxx

OP posts:
tigsyboo · 22/02/2019 09:44

Oh @Pegase
My heart is breaking for you 💔
Be firm - tell them no. As soon as you tell them your mental health will suffer they have to do something xx

Pegase · 22/02/2019 09:38

Thanks everyone for remembering. Empty gestational sac confirmed so now waiting to discuss next steps. I suspect they are going to ask me to wait it out which I will not be happy about!

Rose68 · 22/02/2019 09:20

@Pegase thinking of you today x

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 09:08

I've dreamt of being able to disappear from all the pregnant shit for so long. I see where you get your name from now - Dreamland is an island exactly how you described...

@Pegase how are you getting on?

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InDreamland · 22/02/2019 08:59

I hate it when people tell me "things happen for a reason" @frazzle and like you I'm still waiting to find out what it is. Why do people have to post pics of newborns. I just have to try avoid them otherwise I just break down. All I'm reminded of is losing my two. I wasn't this bad when it was just "unexplained infertility " yes it hurt but my reaction was not this intense.

I think we should all club together to by an island where we can all escape it when we need to. Pregnant bellies and pregnancy/birth announcements are banned unless its us who've been through this horrid journey.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 08:46

@InDreamland I've been crying everyday since we lost the first one. Well maybe a week or two without. Like when DP finally agreed to TTC again last June, then again when we got our BFP. But other than that, it's been tears everyday. I keep it to myself, hide in the loo at work or disappear to another room at home. It is tiresome.

I managed to not see any preggos on the commute in this morning. But lo and behold, on my friend's group chat on messenger, one of my friends has just announced she is an auntie and then uploaded a picture. I have muted it for today but seeing it has triggered all sorts of shit. Great! Just when I was starting to feel a little more positive!

Why can after 5 years my body suddenly get pregnant twice within 6 months but can't keep them? I have no idea, it makes no sense does it.
I wonder why, after not wanting anymore children (which were hell to conceive and I vowed I'd never put myself through that again) did I get pregnant by complete surprise only for that baby to die, then two more die. Then I'm left with this gaping hole I never had before. What was the point? I was perfectly happy before all this. "Everything happens for a reason" apparently, well come on then, what is the reason? I'm waiting!

What do we do? Sad

OP posts:
tigsyboo · 22/02/2019 08:44

Is today your epu apt @Pegase?? Thinking of you xx

InDreamland · 22/02/2019 08:34

Oh FFS every morning, another pregnant woman on the train. I can't escape it. It's like they follow me everywhere.

InDreamland · 22/02/2019 08:28

Oh @Frazzle I didn't realise you have been crying every day. It's shit isn't it. Had another cry this morning getting ready for work. I don't know if it's because AF is due between Sunday and Wednesday........I've no idea what my body is doing anymore. Why can after 5 years my body suddenly get pregnant twice within 6 months but can't keep them?

@rather thank you hun and right back at ya. I think you and all the other lovely ladies here will make amazing mums to our rainbows, I just wish they would hurry up.

Seeing my nieces at my SIL tomorrow, I love those girls, just wish they had a baby cousin.

ratherbeshowjumping · 22/02/2019 08:09

Totally get you @InDreamland xxx
Life is so, so unfair.
You will get your beautiful chubby baby, and you'll be the best mother 😘

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 07:29

@InDreamland yep, I totally get you! And I'm sure we all do. If it's any consolation I cry most days. I never was a cryer before all this, not even when my heart was broken by a stupid boy. I tried to cry and couldn't! These days I find I can't stop. I wonder where all these tears come from, I mean how much water can I bloody have!

I hope you feel a little better today xx

OP posts:
InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:23

*part not okay...... stupid auto correct.

InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:22

@Frazzlerock that is what I think is okay of the problem, it's everywhere shoved down my throat. I just can't escape being reminded of how inadequate i am. I go to work it's from the moment I very too the train station. All over telly, bossy Meghan and Harry with their insensitive announcement on wave of light day to that ISIS girl being able to have them to just absolutely bloody everything and everywhere. I just want to scream. Instead I just cry lots.

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