The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread

tigsy eeeeek! Good luck with the house sale!! Good luck with selling it and finding a nice new home! Btw I didnt get any symptoms this time round till 5 weeks and didnt feel them properly till 6 weeks! 4 weeks is still super early xx

Morning all!

Rose certainly not unreasonable at all! You all only get so much time and money for holidays and if you've already been away why do you need to go again wit them! No doubt though, PIL will be bitter about it and say you are keeping their son from them (or am I just projecting my own in-laws issues?)

I am so sorry how upset you are InDreamland although it isnt surprising, this whole journey is shit. I really hope that if AF does show up then you can at least have a decent AF visit. FX though that you might get a BFP tomorrow and a sticky one at that.

Kin oh how our bodies like to fuck with us ey? Jet lag really does seem to mess it all up doesnt it! I know if I am tired then I always have lower temps though?

Well I am cramping something rotten this morning and it doesnt feel like ligament pains but rather those horrid pre AF cramps. I'll call EPU during my lunch break - found their number on my previous paperwork.

Morning
Sorry you got a negative @InDreamland. It's like you expect it but it still hurts to see. FX you catch the pesky egg next month.

Re all the language stuff .... I don't have that issue so can't relate but can say I find it incredibly rude.

So if TTC isn't stressful enough, this weekend we put our house on the market!!
DH made a valid point that if we don't secure a mortgage on my full time wage now it might not be possible in a few years so we have bitten the bullet and it's now for sale!! 🙈

Still feel like I have NO symptoms of PG... I'm now 4+3 and yesterday did a clearblue digital and it's moved up from 1-2 to 2-3 in past 6 days so I'm trying to be positive. X

Thanks @Kinsters. I hate that mc is a thing, stupid thing to say I know but it's just so cruel. I hope that for you in a couple of weeks you'll have a BFP and it's just your body throwing a new symptom at you.

AF due today (or in next few days - I really don't understand my body anymore) and I certainly don't feel pg and after last night's stupid decision to waste a FRER I'm definitely out this month ......again. How could I ever think things would actually work out for me. All my positivity is zapped.

Rose totally not unreasonable! We see loads of my FIL but sometimes I just need a break and DH tries to respect that, it always has to be give and take on these things.

InDreamland so sorry that you're upset and got a negative test. It is exhausting. I wouldn't worry too much about the luteal phase length if you can help it. Even a 10 day luteal phase is OK and that's all I had when I got pregnant (I'm hoping that it's not indicative of a problem that caused the pregnancy to fail).

Twittle I love that comic! Good plan to speak to EPU today, hopefully they'll be understanding and helpful.

Rather no, not you with thrush as well! It's the worst.

Frazzle hope you're OK!

As for me, as usual I'm not sure whether or not I've ovulated (not helped by jet lag and illness). My temperature is still fairly low but my CM has dried up and my nipples are really tender (this is a new one for me! I feel like last cycle my body picked nausea as my 'gotcha' unusual luteal phase symptom to make me think I've got a chance, this cycle I think it's sore boobs). Even though I'm being ridiculous cause my boobs have been sore for the last few days even when my temperature was solidly, solidly pre o (36.0).

Why on earth did I just waste a FRER knowing it is way too early to test???? 😞😖 I'm such an idiot!

*you not got

@Rose68 I'm not surprised you're digging your heels in. A few hours every couple of months with my in laws is enough. Well actually, I could spend loads of time with my SIL because she's great but my FIL and his weird toxic girlfriend I'd happily never see (my DH and SIL feel the same way towards their dad). Don't give in. Got deserve quality family time (not with the in laws).

I can't stop crying, so fed up of everything. Maybe I'm just hormonal, CD26 and 8/9DPO. AF due tomorrow if cycle is the same as has been since second mc in November but that should mean very short luteal phase which is worrying me. I'm just exhausted by it all.

I’m just catching up too..

@Twittlebee how are you now? I’m sure everything is fine, but it’s worth a phone call to the epu in the morning.

@Ratherbe are you still on holiday? Has DH changed his mind about dtd on holiday?

@ Indreamland sorry your DH is being a pain, I think it’s definitely a man problem generally, and it is well annoying about the SA. If it was us I would be well pissed off.

@Pegase I’m so sorry you had to go through that yesterday

I’m sorry about the language problems everyone is having, that must be tough, thankfully I don’t have any such issues now, but I have had people talking in different languages at work.

As for me I continue to drift in no direction at all, time ticks by and I get older by the second. DH has upset me quite a bit this weekend, it all started over a holiday his family want to book for the summer. We seem to have to go away with them every year, DH didn’t even want to go this year, but now I’m the one dragging my heels he has been quite aggressive towards me. Is it unreasonable not to want to go away with your in laws every year? We only just went away with them last weekend.

Just catching up through..
@TwittleBee I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this 😫 are you able to book one privately?

@Pegase ffs that's awful. How are you holding up?

DH really up to dtd but he's got fucking thrush 😫 & it was painful for him to wee all day. Literally slathered ourselves in canesten & hopefully we can dtd in the morning 🙈 cd13 tomorrow & I usually O on 13/14 so hopefully will be ok.

@Twittlebee that is exactly how it is!! Hope it's not what you fear and things will be okay x

InDreamland totally understand that, DH can be similar. I always end up sharing him this cartoon to remind him how he needs to think too and not just me: www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic

Tbh that's the best attitude to have Kin

Oh I feel for you edidxb - really can't imagine how frustrating it must be to do a sports day, let alone in the heat!

So only a little more spotting but having awful cramps. This all coincides with my loss of symptoms too over last week, they've been getting better and better. Now I'm worrying that rather it's due to placenta kicking in its because I'm MC again.

I'll give EPU a call tomorrow. I must have the number somewhere on my previous paperwork.

@kinsters - gosh work sounds awful if you can't speak to people/vice versa normally. I am lucky in that my colleagues as a whole are really great. I might hate my job but the people get me through most days.

There is only 2 hours time difference between here and S.Africa so that's something!

@indreamland - I get it on the husband front. Although mine was so good on holiday and did most things for me which is very unusual! But now we are home I will be back to laundry, cooking etc!

@tigsy and @pegase - we really are all here for each other. It's the way it has to be!

We had sports day today - literally my least favourite day of the year. It was really hot and sunny, there was no shade, students were rude and I get really annoyed with other staff who sit and do nothing! What a first day back after half term!!

Hope everyone has had a good weekend xx

@twittle - how are you now?

@Kinsters he is taking those proxeed supplements now but he really needs to get a grip and start acting like a responsible adult. I am never switched off, I work full time and then sort everything out at home, as soon as he gets home from work he switches off and turns into some kid who needs his back side kicking into gear.

It's difficult at work, if it's an office over here then I would expect English to be spoken in a regular office, especially when it's everyone's first language so I find it incredibly rude to constantly talk in another language. Guess in Malaysia it's less straightforward, so many languages are spoken there, guess Malay should be the primary language but if you work in a predominantly Chinese office whichever dialect is most widely spoken will likely be used but it is hard because not everyone will speak it. Like in Penang most Chinese will speak Hokkien, in Sabah I think there's a lot of Haka speaking Chinese, Cantonese speaking are all over the place. Think the whole language thing in Malaysia is more complicated than here. I remember a Malay lady at a Hawker stall started speaking to me in Malay, I said I couldn't understand and she looked at me in total disgust.

Argh that's so annoying InDreamland, I do feel like a lot of men lack the initiative to be helpful. That's pretty bad with the Sperm test though. Is he at least doing things to improve his sperm like taking vitamins etc?

I can never tell if my colleagues are rude and unfriendly or just shy or maybe tactless. I've stopped caring too much tbh, it's not worth the head space.

@Kinsters it is just rude if that speak English. When I visited HK to see my cousin we hung out with her friends and they all made the effort to speak English all day because my Cantonese isn't great - even though they knew I can understand some (had a conversation with a market stall owner where she spoke to me in Cantonese and I answered back in English, we both oddly understood each other). My point is it is polite to make the effort when one person in the group doesn't speak the language.

Aaarrrggghhhh my blasted DH. I wish he would just engage his brain, it is like living with 5 year old who just creates more work for me, he's more of a hindrance than a help. All I find myself constantly doing is going round the house fixing his mistakes and where he just leaves cupboard doors and drawers open, takes things out which are in his way then doesn't put them back, rips open big bags of things just to get 1 or 2 bits out and so the rest of what's in there falls out everywhere ........he drives me mad. It's never ending.

Sorry for the rant but but I feel like I just can't get anywhere with him, constantly picking up after him. It's like our private clinic appointment was almost 3 weeks ago, do you think he's arranged his second semen sample test yet? Do I have to do everything? He desperately wants a baby, feel like he doesn't take it seriously enough, of course as usual everything is down to me.

Oh no Twittle if Epu won't see you could you book a private scan?

InDreamland yes it's really annoying because I know they do all speak English. I understand them not wanting to have lunch with me everyday or be my friend or whatever but at the rare events when I do come I wish they'd make a small effort!

Oh no Twittle- do you have a different EPU you can go to that does same day scanning?

@edidxb travel in early pregnancy is exhausting. Do make sure you get plenty of rest.

@Buggles1 keeping fx for you that your bean sticks. Your sister's bf sounds like such a catch

@Kinsters it is really annoying isn't it when people speak in another language and effectively exclude you from the conversation. I hate it, a couple of colleagues do it at work. My family in Malaysia do the same - I understand some of what's going on with my limited Cantonese but my sister has no idea as she just never learnt much. My cousin's wife only speaks mandarin and a little English so never understands anything the extended family say as it's all in Cantonese. I can understand the older generation (grandparents generation) who can only speak Cantonese and the basics of Malay but all our generation and aunts/ uncles speak English (Manglish/Singlish).

@tigsy I couldn't have said it better myself. For some reason it doesn't sting when I see pregnancy announcements on this thread and the TTC after pregnancy loss thread. It's only the outside world it hurts like hell. DH and I agreed when we found out we were pregnant the first time that we wouldn't do any social media announcements but would just break it to people as we saw them or call/ text those we knew the news would upset them because I knew how much announcements hurt because it took us 5 years to get pregnant. I think unless you've been affected by infertility or pregnancy loss you are oblivious that your happy news is actually devastating for others.

@twittle please get yourself seen, go straight to EPU tomorrow if they're not open today. I hope things are still ok though. Our EPU here lets you sit and wait to be seen and can try fit you in that day for a scan.

@Pegase

@rather I hope your flight wasn't delayed much more.

They've made me wait previously, it's just different area to area. Usually it's between 5 to 7 days to get seen.

When I started bleeding last time the EPU booked me in straight away Twittle (even though we had the 12 week scan already booked in for the following morning). I don’t think they should make you wait.

I'm 10+4, next scan in 8 days. I know they'll just tell me to wait till then anyway even if I do just phone EPU. They take ages to book you in for a scan anyway, it's not something they offer same day. I guess it's just gonna be a waiting game. I haven't told DH, can't bring myself to.

Ooh @TwittleBee you poor thing you must be so worried. How many weeks are you now lovely?