The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread

Hi guys, I’ve been lurking but hope everyone is ok

I had another MC in December at 8 weeks which fucking sucked and I’m currently 4dpo and keeping everything crossed that we’ve managed it this month as DH is booked in for the snip at the end of March so this is probably my last chance ... so yeah hopefully third time lucky?!

I couldn't get hold of anyone after work so going to try again on my lunch break. Guessing they really are over stretched here.

Good luck Kin ! FX.

Thanks Buggles! How are you feeling?

Good luck @Kinsters, fx.

I think I ovulated as my temperature was up this morning plus the opk I did this morning (a non-IC) was resoundingly negative so I think last night I just read too late. Whichever day it was I'm quite happy with our timing this month and think we definitely have a shot.

So now I'm in the TWW at 3dpo according to fertility friend. Anyone around the same time as me?

Did you manage to speak to a midwife Twittle?

I also find it a turn on too! (actually so does DH... which is why I think it was post Ovulation that he suddenly realised maybe we shouldnt have been TTC...)

Frazzle I think you have hit nail on the head actually, he does sound like he is putting the pressure on himself. Maybe he feels as though he isnt performing well enough as you two havent had any luck yet (it is common for us women to feel like that after all?) and that is why he gets so reluctant to actually BD? No clue how you get him out of that hole though!

Frazzle I don't think you saying in the heat of the moment that you'll stop TTC is a viable solution. You and your DP both know it'll make you seriously unhappy.

Is there any way you can get to the bottom of what he has against baby making sex and TTC "stuff" like OPKs and temperature charting? As Rose I think it was said, if he could just be relied on to BD at the right time that might take at least some of your stress away.

Maybe I'm weird but I find baby making sex kind of a turn on. Would your DP follow your lead if you went down that route or would it just put him off?

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6739479/EastEnders-star-Lacey-Turner-announces-shes-pregnant.html

Fair play to her speaking out about 2 miscarriages before a successful pregnancy. 👏🏼

That is true though! I'll see if I can get hold of anyone after work! x

Maybe you wouldn’t need a scan if the mw could find the heartbeat on a Doppler x

Tbh no I havent spoke to anther MW - last time I had bleeding though not even my MW could get me an app earlier than 5 days with the EPU! And even then I never was offered a scan! I was told to come back on another day for the scan!

@Twittlebee have you spoken to a midwife? I know yours is on holiday, but there must be others covering. They should be able to get baby’s heart on a Doppler by now, or you could try to get hold of a Doppler and try yourself? I used one with DS2, and I do understand you have to be careful with them, but bloody hell did it help put my mind at rest on a few occasions! I used it from about 10 weeks until when I could feel him kick, which was very early (about 14 weeks I think).

@Frazzle has DP actually pulled the plug or have you just suggested it? FX he won’t listen to you. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t doing this ttc lark, it would be so lovely to get back to a normal life and not feel so bloody depressed all the time. A switch to switch off broodiness sounds fab, how do I get me one of those?

@Kinsters maybe thrush has messed up your cm? If the test line is the first line on the left, I don’t think it looks darker than the control line, but the control line does look dark. It does look like you might be close though.

It really isn't Kin unfortunately, money is seriously tight as DH is unable to do any Extra Shifts currently and we just had the whole car issue to sort out plus we are trying to do our house up.

In some good news though, my mum and step dad announced their engagement to us last night! So that is pretty sweet.

That sucks Twittle. Is paying for a private scan an option?

keep trying to type and then a colleague comes over! right...

Frazzle - firstly, those bloomin eye worms, i thought i was gonna go blind when I first got them when I was in my teens (optician laughed at me and told me its stress) but they arent unbearable imo, kind of used to when they appear now (I actually hallucinate spiders when I get too stressed and that is something that is real horrid). I am so so so sorry you think you have dug your own grave! It is so fricking frustrating! Why cant your DP just agree that you guys will DTD on the days required, and yes okay those will be about BM but all the other times you have sex can be those romantic ones where he isnt "just a sperm donor" to use his words?

Kin Oh not too sure! Do another one when you can, tbh you could just do another one in a couple hours and see if it gets darker then you'll know? Try and see it after 10 minutes though rather than waiting 30 minutes if you can! I find IC OPKs so confusing sometimes for how they seem to get darker outside of the window.

Yup - as suspected. The next available spot they have isn't until Monday unless its an emergency and apparently I am not bleeding enough to be seen on their emergency scans on Friday. I cant see them on their walk in clinics as I havent been referred by my MW (who is away) and havent had enough MCs (only had 2 on their records as I didnt know CPs counted FFS) to self refer for them. So I have been told to wait till my dating scan on Monday as they cant do anything anyway.

Oh Frazzle I don't know what to say. It's just an impossible situation. Do you think it would help for your DP to go and see his GP and look into getting therapy or maybe medication? Really the solution to both your sadnesses is for you to be pregnant and happy so I guess medication and therapy won't really help the root cause

I wish we had a switch to turn broodyness on and off. Scratch that, a switch to get pregnant...

It sounds like loads of us are having a really shit time at the moment. Hugs to you all. TTC and miscarriages and just life can be so shit and unfair sometimes.

Do you think this OPK is positive? It didn't look positive when I first did it so I left it for thirty minutes now it looks like this! I'll do another one tomorrow morning. Idk why my body is doing this. My vag is dry as a bone but apparently LH is rising! Whyyy?

I added my chart too. Thought maybe I ovulated CD16 but perhaps it'll be tomorrow (CD19) instead.

@Indreamland 8/9 dpo is way too early to test! There is still time. x

Thank you for the supportive comments, we currently aren’t speaking to each other and I guess that will continue for ages. @Frazzlerock my DH is also constantly having a go at our boys, but I do undermine him and he gets really pissed off about that. I know it’s bad to undermine but he snaps at just about anything and everything, and I am trying to protect them.

@Frazzle you don’t need to apologise, we all get it, tbh I could have written your post, except for the bit about DP’s health problems. I am so sorry and I pray that it’s not something like a brain tumour! I don’t want to say ‘hopefully it’s just stress’ because obviously stress isn’t great either, but at least it’s not a brain tumour, if you get what I mean.

And it looks like I’m joining the thrush club 😩