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Conception

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Original poster

Should I tell my bosses i may ttc??

81 replies

sjess2019 · 21/01/2019 18:51

Sorry in advance for the essay! Looking for advice!

Started a new job last may as a manager with my own client portfolio (I’m an accountant), got married in August and we had agreed to put off trying for baby number 2 until I got my feet well under the table with my new job.

To be honest hubby also wasn’t sure he wanted another, he had sort of come round to the idea and we decided we’d try for another baby in 2020, to give birth 2021, which I was happy enough with.

Hubby has now said maybe we should try earlier as our first born will be 6 when we have number 2, that’s assuming we conceive straight away as well so could be older!

Anyway now hubby has made a hint at trying this summer, I’ve gone all doolally and can’t get babies out of my head!

My problem is I have a client portfolio, which ultimately the clients are my responsibility, but my thoughts are that I have a window of opportunity to conceive, in hope that I can give birth in our quiet period at work, then have a relatively short period off work and then work from home, so that in theory it shouldn’t effect them too much. I appreciate this however is in an ideal scenario that I will actually conceive!

I’m just wondering what to do, and wether it would be better to sit down and explain that I don’t want it to effect my position there, and that I don’t want to piss them off! My thoughts are that it would be better to get it out of the way, before my client list gets too large for it to be manageable, and hope that they agree!

One of my bosses sort of hinted the other week when we were discussing other staff, and said it was obviously a consideration when hiring me, and I said it was one of my concerns also. He pretty much said that it’s the ‘suprise’ ones that are hard to deal with, but if we knew it was happening we could plan for it and we would work it out.

If I don’t conceive at the time I need to, I would wait until the year after, and this is what I would want to explain to them.

Any thoughts? Kind of wish hubby hadn’t put this idea in my head! Is it daft to have this discussion with them when I will have only worked with them for 12 months or so? Or will they respect me for it and the fact that I want to do it in a way that impacts them the least?!

P.s they do seem happy with me - told me before Xmas pretty much that I’m smashing it so I’ve no worries in that department! And all in all I’d be planning to be off for 2 months propper maternity, then working from home say 2 days a week for a further 3 months (in the office for occasional client meetings), and back properly after 5 months ready for the run up to the busy period.

Would really appreciate someone’s thoughts.

Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
sjess2019 · 21/01/2019 19:10

Maybe I’m just too honest, but I feel they have given me this huge opportunity and don’t want them to think I’ve thrown it in their faces, or been sneaky by not being upfront with them, especially when a retiring consultants workload is going to be coming to me this year and that’s been the plan from the start.

For any employer to not consider maternity would be ludacris! Yes they aren’t allowed to ask etc these days, but they are a business at the end of the day and I can’t blame them for not wanting to be left in the lurch, which some people would do.

This is a form where I intend to spend the rest of my career, and the long term plan on both sides is partnership, so I just don’t want to mess that up.

Part of me thinks that if I did tell them, and they were to discriminate against me in any way (I don’t think in the slightest they would do this), then they obviously don’t appreciate me, and therefore isn’t where I would want to be long term anyway!

OP posts:
CurlsLDN · 21/01/2019 19:02

I would say that telling them, basically, that you're stepping up the shagging will make them view you in a worse light than bringing the 'problem' to their door only when it is a 'problem'.

I am a manager and have had a team member tell me she was TTC, that's because she was beginning IVF and wanted to make me aware of the increased medical appointments. I was pleased and surprised she had confided in me, and supported her wholeheartedly through her journey.
If the circumstances were 'normal', ie she was getting busy but nothing to report yet I'd have thought she was mad to tell me, and it would have put me in a difficult position, as she'd basically be asking me to forward plan when there was nothing to plan for, no idea of timings etc

JustHereForThePooStories · 21/01/2019 18:57

Absolutely not. You have no reason to discuss your sex life with your employers.

Onandonandons · 21/01/2019 18:56

No don't say anything. You might not conceive. It will just cause anxiety for them and even could lead to them discriminating against you.

5FullFathoms · 21/01/2019 18:55

You’d be absolutely mad to do this. Don’t even consider it.

ShirleyPhallus · 21/01/2019 18:53

Don’t say anything until there’s something to say. Would be madness.

Incredibly unprofessional of them to hint that they considered pregnancy and work load for others too

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