The July 19ers - STILL never beaten, and rocking our FJs for a lucky thread

@Frazzle have a read of this. An interesting article all-round but if you have a look at the What Causes Miscarriage section, it does say that chromosomal abnormalities, namely Trisomies 16, 21 and 22, are the cause of 50-85% of miscarriages.
So chances are, yes, Emily was likely to have had this too, but chances are, most of our poor little ones also did.
It's really shit Frazzle, but certainly doesn't mean it will happen again. Keep your hopes up xxx
www.bmj.com/bmj/section-pdf/187929?path=/bmj/346/7913/Clinical_Review.full.pdf

@Prosecco AF threatened for a good week before she made any appearance, I kept rushing to the loo too feeling "wet"... I was cd31 before anything actually came. Hang in there, it's really shit.

Welcome back @Buggles!

Good luck today @Betty, hope it goes well. Hope you don't break down... always hate the pressure of knowing you can't break down, it makes it so much harder. Rubbish that it's not someone you feel comfortable with - are you able to switch?

Oh @Frazzle that's awful. I did some work on this at uni (a long time ago now), it's a complete lottery and the chances of another with this are unlikely to be high.
As harsh as this probably sounds (although I certainly don't mean it to), at least you can take comfort from the fact that there's absolutely nothing you personally did wrong. Babies with Trisomy 16 can't possibly survive.
I hope the blood tests come back as reassuring to DP as there is likely to be nothing but bad luck on your side there. Sending lots of love to you xx

Woke up with a horrible cold again this morning. Luckily working from home today so spending it wrapped in a duvet

Oh Frazzle I suppose in some way it is useful to know that it was a random thing and in no way your fault (not that it ever is anyway). Am I right in thinking though that the chance of having Trisomy 16 in another pregnancy is uncommon as that is what I just read or is there something you have read which suggests otherwise?

Betty good news about the bfn! It sounds like you have made a great start to the new year!

Tigsy, try not to stress, I’m sure ovulation will happen very soon.

Frazzle, I’m so sorry about the trisomy 16. I’m sure DP will be okay, he knows how important this is for you and therefore for your relationship. Do you know what the blood test will tell you?

As for me, I am now 9 dpo and I feel shattered, and my mouth felt dry when I woke up, but I’m pretty sure that was my mind playing tricks on me. I’m meant to be sorting out my house ready for estate agent photos tomorrow, but I can’t be arsed. Yes we have finally got round to getting it on the market (hopefully).

I went to acupuncture yesterday and my acupuncturist was talking as if the baby I’m going to have is a done deal. But then last week he said to me if it doesn’t happen this month or next then to stop going to see him. That got me down a bit, 2 months post mc doesn’t seem very long to try esp when DH is likely away next month, so it would only be 1 month of trying 😞

Nice result with bfn Betty

I'm still 'high' on cbfm and temps all over the place :(

I'm convinced it's another anovulatory cycle :(

Cd17 today and nothing 😥

ahh I shall be exploring these settings!

FF has a few different options for how you want it to determine ovulation.

Advanced is the default and based off all signs and their database, research is incorporating changes they're thinking of making to advanced to make it more accurate (I guess it's a beta advanced?) then you have OPK which just looks at OPK data, FAM which is the old school "three temps higher than the previous six" i.e. only looks at temps and manual input where you select your ovulation date manually. It's all in settings - - > detector/override settings.

Kin you are right, tbf when I first saw the BFP that ended with us having DS I had a panic attack... DH was thrilled instantly though and always spoke about how he wanted tons of kids. Maybe the reality of how hard raising kids can be has hit him now though.

What does putting it to "research" mean Kin? Never heard of that before! I reckon the previous cross hair placement makes more sense though? But then again current crosshairs fit with EWCM?

Buggles hi again! Oh unexpected tears are hard work arent they! FX for you you get a sticky bfp soon

Betty blimey! sounds like you really are on track already this year! Sorry you had a wobble yesterday though, can hit suddenly cant it? Good luck for today at GP and dont worry about your colleague, I am sure he will be understanding and wont view it as undermining at all!

Nice one on the BFN Betty. I've been feeling pretty down the past couple of days as well. I cried in front of my boss and it was awkward and embarrassing. He didn't know what to do or say so just carried on telling me the things he wanted me to get done before I went home! We haven't spoken about it since I got back from the holidays!

I was messing around with FF settings and putting it to "research" rather than advanced moves my crosshairs a few days earlier so I'm 6dpo. I got a line at 6dpo before but actually wonder whether I always ovulate a few days prior to temp rise so was actually later (but then timing of opks and dtd is off so who knows).

Morning all, welcome back @Buggles

I had a really down day yesterday so today I'm going to try and redress the balance! Firstly, I finally got my bfn this morning, on CD21. Hurrah! That's 16 days since I passed my pregnancy sac (Christmas Day - not easily forgotten!) and I usually Ov on CD16. I have heaps of EWCM today so it all feels like it makes a bit of sense.

From my NY resolutions, I have successfully stopped bf'ing DS, stopped alcohol during the week (toned it right down at wknds) and am back on the supplements and eating more healthily (having my Invisalign braces fitted on Monday has helped so far, no more mindless snacking). So that's a lot to be positive about!!

I am seeing the GP this morning. She told me before Christmas that she was going to write to the fertility clinic asap for a recommendation about what we should do next and for a referral. There is nothing showing on my medical notes so I am going in this morning to find out whether she has actually done anything at all. I don't mind about crying in front of this one - it's the Medical Officer I have to see next month for my Med review, who is basically a colleague in all other respects, that I feel really uncomfortable about breaking down in front of. Just because we do a lot of other work together and it feels undermining, if that makes sense. But hey he's a professional (and also a father) so hopefully he can deal with it.

Wish me luck!!

Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been so rubbish posting. Been throwing myself into work to forget everything and move on. It’s partly working but I’ve also had a few unexpected tears in situations I thought I would be ok. Seems like stupid things set me off and then I can’t stop!

Quick recap... also in the aged 39 club. Had one early mc in July 18 at wk 5 and a second mmc in Dec just before 12 wk scan (lost at around 9 wks). Been properly (although not charting etc anywhere like the science you lot seem to be using) ttc since getting married almost 2.5 years ago now.

Oh boy you lot make me chuckle with some of the stories re sex, inlaws, etc!

Fantastic news Twittle on the bfp. Fingers crossed the rest of us all follow suit now. Still no AF for me post surgery. Thought it may have been here by now but it sounds like a lot of you waited a while longer than normal for one.

Right, must get in shower else I’ll be late...

Twittle I think wobbles are totally normal. I hate to say it but when I was pregnant I had moments of wondering whether it was the right decision/right time. My DH would always say (after ovulation) that he wasn't sure it was a good idea but I never took it too seriously and we always carried on TTC the next month.

DH and I spoke a bit about pregnancy, honestly felt like he was suggesting I abort at the start. But I think he may start coming round. Told him we have most of the year to sort out what we need and nothings changed really since last pregnancy. Just seems so odd he suddenly freaked out. I think it is lack of sleep more than anything that he isn't looking foward to, especially as our DS is going through 18 month regression atm.

Kin and it looks like you had that classic 3do fallback then rise too so that's what that dip in temp was all about!

Temp of 36.64 this morning so pretty sure I've ovulated, just not totally sure when (I thind CD18, 20 and 23 are all possibilities!) I'll probably start testing at the weekend because in the last pregnancy I got a squinter at 7dpo (though the brand of ics is different this time so not sure if they'll be as sensitive).

Your MIL sounds like a drama llama Twittle. What a silly thing to get upset about.

Prosecco do you know how long your normal cycle is? I think you're supposed to count the day that bleeding starts as CD1 so bleeding on CD29 could be reasonable. You're right it does seem a bit short though.

@ProseccoBee my AF had lots of false starts before it came on properly after mc. Prob a week of threatening and a bit of spotting on and off

Ahhh loving that so many of you are criers! I literally ball my eyes out at anything! I honestly think a good cry is really good for you!
@twittle sorry your pil are being so awful! Totally raining on your BFP parade and not what you need at all with everything you have had to put up with! Well it will be there loss if they cut contact!
@tigsy and @frazzle so pleased you both got on well with your appointments today!
I am also exhausted after having a month off playing with the children all day has taken it out of me! Early night tonight i think. Although I’m having Af cramping and wondering if this is Af yesterday and today at work I suddenly had a funny “wet” feeling l. Went to the bathroom to check and there was no blood as such just a small amount of spotting. Today when I wiped it was more watery but definately red just wandering if I can count this as af? Seems weird if it is. I’m now 29 days since I first started bleeding with the miscarriage but it’s only been 22 days since I passed the intact sac so wandering if that would be to early for a period? I’m really hoping it is Af as I don’t think I can wait much longer to start to try again.

Evening all.
I am exhausted. Got to work at 7am. Left at 5.30pm. Home, shower, work, eat, work and it's now 9.15pm and I have just finished my work for the evening. Could have continued for hours :-(

Anyway........@Twittlee - I hope the PIL come around. What an amazing day with a BFP and then a comedown with that. You'll surely remember it in the future......obviously we don't know them but I can't believe that anyone would actually do that!

Some very exciting jobs on here. Also loving the fact that people have changed careers. I am getting to the stage where I need a major change but I am towards the top and get paid pretty well so it's really hard.

Glad physio was good @Frazzle. I have now googled TOMM and it sounds like the thing I would love. However, I have to admit that I have a cleaner twice a week for 4 hours at a time which is VERY Dubai but everyone does here and 8 hours a week isn't much compared to others (what I tell myself) and she walks the dog when she is here too. I clean the bathrooms on weekends and do all the laundry etc but she does the sweeping/mopping/bathrooms/ironing.

@tigsy that's brilliant about the reduced hours. I really hope that will help you when you need to be looking after yourself.

Good to see all the criers on here. I can go for weeks not crying and then will have months where I cry at everything. The mcs are weird though. Gets me at weird moments when I am not expecting it.

DH is devastated, never seen him like this before. With the BFP this morning and being ill anyway he as already emotionally unstable!

I'm pretty insulted tbh too. I've tried telling DH that they clearly do love him more than the name and they're just throwing toys out of their pram atm and will soon apologise.

MiL is meant to be looking after DS tomorrow.... So bloody awkward! Not sure what I am meant to do now?

Oh Frazzle SM is painful isn't it? I'm finding it hard not to compare myself to an old high school "enemy" atm, she's due not that long before we were.

Ah glad the physio was good @Frazzle, and glad you haven't slipped a disc. My back is completely and utterly fucked but I find that seating/lying on a heated electric throw on the sofa/when working from home etc really helps. I think I paid about £50 for mine but I couldn't be without it.

Sorry what @Twittle?!
I'd enjoy the NC whilst you can - she sounds horrific.
That's really shit about your cousin too.

The New Year preg announcements are horrendous aren't they? They are endless.

@Rose68 I do worry if I ever have a DS that I will be "the MIL" but I genuinely think if you're a reasonable person who wants your DS to be happy there should be no issue. Most of my friends have wonderful MILs and I'm absolutely sure you'll be a fantastic one when the time comes

Wow.... that's a whole new level of in-laws!!!