The July 19ers - STILL never beaten, and rocking our FJs for a lucky thread

😂 I'm not a particularly neat person myself so I can put up with the mess itself. I refuse to put up with him talking about "when we tidy out the cupboards" though!

@Kinsters that's DH all over it's so tiresome isn't it? A novelty empty photo-frame from a landmark neither of us have ever visited? "KEEP!"

ratherbe my DH is like yours with holding onto stuff. I was trying to clean out a cupboard and kept asking things like "this ancient electronic thing which looks like its from the 90s?"... "Keep!"... "this empty clothes packaging from the 60s"... "Keep!". I gave up tidying the cupboards and refuse to discuss the subject.

Twittle I agree, baby making sex is special, although does get tiresome.

Oh Tigsy I completely feel your pain. He's being a massive arse but agree with Frazzle that he probably needs to talk. It's really shit timing.
It sounds he was in a mood last night, and regardless of what you did or said, there would have been an argument.
Absolutely love your petty "I was too fucking idle" - that's exactly the sort of comment that I would make that would infuriate my DH
Ps. didn't know you had a lab too!
I think Frazzle and I have said before, lying in bed knowing you are O'ing but not dtd and just wanting to cry. It's really shit
He sounds SO similar to my DH in terms of the clutter and we actually had a very similar mini-argument last night... I absolutely cannot deal with clutter and a messy house and working from home 90% of the time, I need the house to be tidy and for all the good in him, he's one of those psychopaths that love clutter/tat. If we ever go anywhere, and there's a souvenir shop, he's like a kid at Christmas.... So I explained Marie Kondo to him - yep all sounds good. Then every fucking bit of tat I passed him apparently bought joy

Oh I must admit I did proper laugh at my desk reading how you let him lay in tigsy ! Good for you! He is being really awkward about all this. It is obviously difficult when DTD becomes about baby making but at the end of the day that is what it's main function is for! Can we not view how special and romantic BD can be?

All I do is listen to his bullst @Frazzlerock!!
He is a dick at times. His 'fuse' is non existent!!
The row last night was started as follows...
we both had 2 big box files full of old paperwork from our previous lives. He was moaning about them constantly for months, so one day around 3 weeks ago I had nothing to do so I cleared mine out and ended up with an Aldi bag (you know the big bag for life ones!) full of paperwork to destroy. I asked him to burn it in our garden burner... which he agreed to do.
He then brought a shredder and I told him categorically I was not wasting my life shredding 2/3 pages at a time and the bag has stayed under the stairs for a week. Last night, despite it being there a week, he noticed it and lost his shit and called me all the idle lazy bitches under the sun.... let me point out... he STILL hasn't even sorted his box out, let alone dealt with the stuff to throw away out of it, it's still sitting cluttering the dining room!! But apparently that's not the point because he works 9 hours a day and I 'sit on my lazy fat arse all day' (I'm a size 8) ... so I pointed out as well as sitting on my lazy fat arse, I deal with his kids 3 days a week, doing all the school runs, all the washing, all the cooking... and squeeze working in too! That doesn't count tho... because it doesn't suit his pathetic argument! Dick!!
Anyway, he has to get up at 6am for work at 8am.... I decided I couldn't hold my pee any longer and started clattering about at 8.05!! He rushes out of the living room going 'why didn't you wake me!' I pointed out I was too fucking idle and took myself back to bed with a cup of tea and the Labrador!! (So I haven't exactly stopped the argument lol!)

@edidxb thank you, you are probably right. It’s just frustrating that he was with me all the way, knowing about every details of my pregnancy and MC.... but now thinks we can turn back time and just see how it goes! He has 2 kids and I know deep down it not happening wouldn’t be as big of a deal to him because he’s already got that role of a parent.
I feel like I want to share my opk results and temping stuff with him.... he bores me senseless talking about his dull job and I have to listen to that and it’s not even any benefit to me!! I’m just angry it’s now. His timing is the worst :(

@tigsyboo how frustrating for you. I have been there myself and we had to have a conversation about whether he would rather know when the "time" is or not know. He decided he would rather know but just be told once not be updated about it the whole time......that way it's not a constant thought in his head but he realises things have to be timed.
We had 3 months after my first mc where we didn't have sex at all as he wasn't interested in times, getting pregnant or anything to do with it and it really upset me.....
I hope you two make it up.and are able to have a chat about what will work best for you in terms of talking about TTC. For us, DH knows just what he needs to know and that's it. But even then it can cause performance issues sometimes etc.....it's so tough!
@pegase thank you. I am actually feeling much better so I think it was just good to get it out there!
Currently at hairdressers with head full of foil.

Far from it pegase! That's why I'm so pissed off! I feel like yeah the start may not be spontaneous... but once your in the swing of things who cares if it was planned or not??
He's just an idiot and currently snoring on the sofa and half an hour late getting up! Ha! Karma! I'm letting him lie there and will find it highly amusing while. Hear him scrambling found being late for work!
And for today DH shall stand for DICKHEAD!!

@tigsyboo that is really annoying. I mean obviously yes you might not be having sex every two days if you weren't TTC but it's not like you're lying back and thinking of England when you're in the act I'm sure!

@edidxb hope you are feeling better today. It is very hard working in a school, surprisingly, with a little one but you'll make it work. My DD is now in primary school and my goodness what a difference that has made compared to the early days (which I am desperately trying to get back to )

Well I am on CD15 and still no LH surge yawn. Glow seems to think Saturday is ov day so we'll see. Just want to get on with the TWW!

That's so annoying tigsy. I don't understand guys who take that attitude. Like yeah, if we want to have a baby we need to have sex at the right time. And of course you're going to be stressed/"obsessed" about TTC after having a miscarriage. I know the topic hasn't left my head since it happened, I just want to "replace" what was lost as much and as soon as I can.

Omg so the DH DID IT AGAIN!
Started an argument right before bedtime out of nowhere. I was desperately trying to smooth it out so that we could get to it, but he was being really nasty to me and I eventually bit and WW3 started.
It inevitably cane back to me 'obsessing' with this and told me 'he could think of nothing worse than having sex tonight'... so I walked off and went to bed and he slept on the sofa.
I tried to explain sex is not just about fun st the moment and he said that's all it's about and he doesn't care if it's 'the right time' if he's not in the mood he won't make himself be!
I feel so angry. I spend weeks trying to maximise our chances, he seems to get on board and then bam - when OPKs EVENTUALLY show something he can't be bothered!! I know sex last night might not have been the most productive as it was only 16 hrs after last BD.... but we haven't done it since Sunday before that.
He says I'm obsessing, but he won't get over the fact that getting pregnant by sheer luck last time was just that, and thinks it's fine to just do it as you feel like it.
He was saying 'if it wasn't for wanting a baby you wouldn't go near me tonight so be honest with yourself it just about baby making' which is 100% true, but he dies t get that I feel like all my hard work tracking my body has been wasted for 6 weeks because he's got one on him!! I'm angry and I'm upset 😢 sorry for ranting

edidxb yeah nannys are common here as well. DH had a nanny so he finds the idea less weird than I do!

@ratherbe it's that weird thing of waiting as you said and putting life on hold. Which I am now trying really hard not to do. But I think if you have a great maternity package it's probably worth staying put for another year or two. I was thinking yesterday that I'm not 40 yet but once I get there in another few years I will still have 20 years minimum of my working life left and I've only properly been working in my current job for 14 years so I still have lots of time left for a career change!

Thanks @Betty - you've made me feel better with what you said. I think I need to hold on, hopefully get pregnant again and stay pregnant and then you never know - maybe I can change roles or do something else once I have a happy and healthy baby.

@Rose68 - you're right. I really need to not worry about it at the moment until I actually have to worry about it. There is always a way.......I just need to try and have a baby now!!

@tigsy, I would say that you're going to ovulate today or tomorrow - good luck!!!

@kinsters - having a nanny is also a possibility here too and it's very much the culture in Dubai but I'm not sure if I could go down that route. But I would reconsider in the future. I hope you can work out what is happening soon - whether you have or haven't ovulated......

I am on CD7 today and I still have some blood this morning. Hopefully it will finish up today. I'm off to the hairdresser this morning which some people like but I find it difficult to sit there for ages!!! But I need to remember that it's OK to just sit and read magazines and drink tea......

Tigsy based on OPKs I think you'll ovulate Thursday or Friday - get bd-ing!

edidxb that sounds like a crazy workload! And teachers really aren't appreciated enough. I was so happy when I got pregnant because I'd be able to miss the busiest most stressful time at work. Now I'll either be pregnant or TTC which, you're right, is really hard when you're working crazy long hours. I'm not sure what your DH does but mine travels a lot for work so unless he's able to cut that back it'll be me whose having to cut down my hours and that's just not really a thing here in Malaysia. If we both keep working we'll probably end up employing a nanny.

My OPK was no more positive this morning so idk. We didn't manage to dtd last night in any case.

Seems the line is getting lighter.... even the control line is lighter in this one tho....

@edidxb it’s so hard trying to balance a career with having babies and raising children, but remember many women do just that. There are childcare options out there, but you won’t know what’s right for you and your family until your baby is here. Both you and DH could share the dropping off / collecting, allowing each of you to have days when you can get in early and leave late. Your school would have to accept that on some days you can’t work the hours you are now, or you might decide you would prefer an easier less stressful job which would give you more time at home. It’s not even worth thinking about now, not even while you are pregnant. Wait until you have your lovely baby, and when you are ready you will know what you want to do. xxx

@edidxb I don't have a huge amount of time to write but just wanted to say I totally relate to your post - re feeling so conflicted about knowing you have a 'good' job that you've worked hard to achieve, and managing the change pre- and post- DC. FWIW I very nearly chucked in my job (career? 12yrs as a military aviator is prob classed as one of those) after 1yr of trying (and not succeeding) to conceive with DS. I was just about to chuck it in - working super hard and v stressed - when I fell pg and then stayed for the amazing maternity support. I don't feel guilty about that, I am back now working hard and repaying their support to me, and it has somehow worked out that I have an 8-5 job that allows me to put DS into childcare with me around consistently (unusual in the military).

I guess all I'll say is that you've earned your role and you can rightfully expect some give & take when you have a child. But if you want to change direction, be bold. My DH nearly has a heart attack every time I mention quitting but that's his problem tbh, there is no way I will work myself to the bone both at work and at home doing something that I no longer love, and a change of direction doesn't frighten me.

Ps we had a v similar year last yr, I was pg Jan-Mar and Oct-Dec, only I tucked in a chem pg in August too 😉

Completely get where you're coming from @tigsy and @edidxb - I was waiting until after mat leave to go fully self-employed as I have an excellent mat package where I am. Now I'm sat here wondering if I should just be bold and take the plunge or stay with a good thing.
I feel like my life is on hold until I have a baby. Which I don't want it to be.

Oh @buggles I'm sorry your feeling shit too. She sounds like a right witch!

Hope you felt better after your walk? I called DH sobbing and did feel a bit better after a cry and a rant.

Boobs are feeling really sore today. They usually start to get sore about 2-3 days before AF. Surely it would be too early if I was pregnant? I'm only 5dpo. Hope the mc hasn't messed up all my usual post-O symptoms.

Ah, thanks @Frazzlerock I appreciate it. @tigsyboo I can really identify with what you say about passing up a promotion. I had the opportunity to be a Head of Secondary last year and I passed it up as I just couldn't have done it.
I don't think I could deal with the uncertainty that you describe. I don't like to lose control which is why I do well in education as I keep control all day!
@buggles1 sometimes a cry and walk is all you need. I hope you feel better now xxx

With you ratherbe re ‘this day can actually fuck off’... don’t know what is wrong with me today but I could cry at anything and everything. Bearly been holding the tears back in important meetings.

I’m on a secondment at the moment and the lady sponsoring our project is a total ocd nightmare. I almost told her to F right off and do things herself if nothing is ever right. I’ve moved the same box on a process map 4 times now and we’re actually back to where it bloody started!!! So had enough. To be fair, one of her reports told me she’s unbearable so I don’t think it is just me.

Went for a walk at lunch to calm down but ended up sat on a bench by the canal balling my eyes out. I’m really hoping this is all hormone related and not just me having a breakdown!

And breathe... I feel a bit better now... !

@edidxb
I can't understand from a 'management' point of view, but I do get it! I was supposed to go through a promotion selection process in November but pulled out because I was pregnant and part of the promotion 'deal' in the police is that a) you go wherever, to do whatever the organisation says. You are basically in a pot to fill holes (that could be 24/7 shifts etc) or b)if you aren't successful you have to go on a development plan and jump through a load of hoops and do meaningless projects and brown nose etc to show you are developing.... both of which mean it's not comparable with being PG or having a young child! So I pulled out thinking the role I'm in despite hating it, is quite child friendly (I never work nights and work 1/3 weekends)... what happens then... bam! MC!!
Now I'm in a role I hate and not PG... back to square 1!
I don't know what to advise you, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone xx

Also.....I just want to add I'm not drunk and it wasn't a drunk post! I've had one gin and tonic, after dinner on a full stomach. I just can't write. And now I am going to stop writing posts.....