The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

@princessbala how many mc have you had? I think most of us on here started trying again straight away. I was among the first to mc, my due date was July 2nd, and I knew by 7.5 weeks that it wasn’t viable. I am 43 so that will be the reason why. My cycle post mc was 28 days exactly, we didn’t really try that month but we didn’t do anything to stop it. This is my first proper cycle now... but I’m not holding out much hope. I can understand why you would wait, but I don’t think you have to, I guess it depends on lots of things. xxx

DH is taking pregnacare conception and vitamin C.

I seem to get.... well you know you can be pregnant! Well that doesn't really help if I can't carry it to term 😒 or people asking what you think you did wrong!?

Completely agree kinsters! My favourite is when people do the faux understanding nod & impart the wise words of, "It will happen when you least expect it...."

😫

Oh if anyone is interested I managed to chop off the bit of my chart in fertility friends that was from whilst I was pregnant. I wanted to keep the pre and post ovulation data but get rid of the six week pregnant stretch. You just have to split the pregnancy chart in two and then delete the second chart which seems like its only possible on the desktop site . Took me ages to figure out!

I guess maybe it would have been good to keep so I could compare if I start spotting in a hopefully future pregnancy. I hated seeing it when I flicked back though plus it made the chart comparison not so easy to look at (especially cause when I ovulate i'll want to compare my successful luteal phase to the current one so can't just exclude the pregnancy chart!)

Maybe everyone else has already figured this out and I'm just slow!

Don't get my started on people who say "stop trying" !! Feel like punching them. Did find taking a break from charting helped though.

ratherbe it's so unhelpful when people say just stop thinking about it and stop obsessing. I think it's basically impossible to do! We're trying to make babies here... I think that deserves some thought /effort!

Re vitamins both DH and I are now taking pregnancare preconception (his/hers). Before that I was only taking folic acid.

princessbala we've started trying again straight away. That must be really hard with your sil.

@Rachyrach83 yes still just high. I am CD9 though. Definitely worked last time I used the CB OPK sticks as in I got a peak eventually. I think it says 1st cycle you are likely to get a lot of highs.

The cycle I got pg then mc, I wasn't tracking but must have ov around CD22 or later as we didn't have much sex that month!

@princessbala we just kept having sex from when the bleeding stopped. Didn't track anything though as knew residual hcg would mess everything up.

@Rose68 I was about 9.5 weeks... but the baby stopped growing at around six weeks... ended up having a d&c because I was still having symptoms and my body wasn't going to let go any time soon.... but I'm with a recurrent miscarriage clinic so they've said they need to do more testing before I can conceive again, my sil has her baby on the 31st so everyone in my family has just forgotten about me now, and I just want to start trying again!

When did all you ladies start thinking about trying again?

@Rachyrach83 I honestly don't know how anyone can "stop obsessing & let it take over" - how can something you want more than anything in the world, that your body actually craves, not be an obsession? Surely if you weren't obsessed, it's not a good sign?! Sorry to here it's been rough lately. You're not impatient. It sounds like he's struggling with it all too.
It's a stressful time for everyone...

Rose & Rachy - I think his struggle is keeping it up for a longish period under pressure, so I, erm, helped... then just as he was about to ejaculate, he got the pot ready. We did it again this morning too. It's not romantic but 🤷🏽‍♀️ it's better than nothing 🙈😂

What vits is everyone getting the men to take? DH isn't a huge coffee drinker - my issue is tea... we don't drink too much except over Christmas so think we're ok there & we do eat really well.

@smerlin
Are you still getting high on CMFM?
I’m Day 14 now and no peak!!

@Rose68 we're the same- no way could I part DH from caffeine in a million years so we'll live with that minute risk! The grumpiness would definitely put paid to any DTD!

@Ratherbeshowjumping, I have the same question as Rachy... re being able to self perform? I have never tried turkey basting.... I think it would be a big fat no from DH. Although I have wondered... if he was going to be away... if we could we pop some of his boys in the freezer... although I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that 😂

Morning Ladies

@Twittlebee I’m so sorry it was a bfn, all the signs were so promising.

@Frazzle, it sounds like your dp is being a bit of an idiot. Has he said he is still up for this? If so why would he say that? I really have to try not to put my DH under pressure, but I still do with some things. Such as taking preconception vitamins. There is a big difference in me around ovulation, I am well up for dtd, the rest of the month I can take it or leave it. But that all means I can’t hide ov time from him, it’s well obvious! DH is well up for sex 99.9% of the time.

@smerlin I am aware that too much caffeine is bad for sperm, but no way can I ask DH to reduce his coffee intake, anyway I’m more struggling with his alcohol consumption.

@princessbala welcome to our thread. How many weeks were you when you mc?

@Rachy it sounds like your GP is lovely, I suffered with anxiety when my boys were little. My goodness it was hard work. I did not want anymore children! Fast forward 4 years and of course now I do and it’s probably too late. Re hcg testing, I asked at 5 weeks and was told a definite no.

I am 5dpo my spots seem to be getting better, no pmt yet, which is strange, but it can vary month to month. I’m trying to to read anything into that because I know the chances are so low.

Sorry messed up links

Both sides of the argument on caffeine

<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/caffeine-link-to-miscarriage/" target="_blank">https://www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/caffeine-link-to-miscarriage/

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/couples-pre-pregnancy-caffeine-consumption-linked-miscarriage-risk

<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/news/poll-reveals-confusion-about-caffeine-consumption-in-pregnancy" target="_blank">https://www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/news/poll-reveals-confusion-about-caffeine-consumption-in-pregnancy

Both sides of the argument on caffeine

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/caffeine-link-to-miscarriage/

www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/couples-pre-pregnancy-caffeine-consumption-linked-miscarriage-risk

www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/news/poll-reveals-confusion-about-caffeine-consumption-in-pregnancy

Thankyou everyone for welcoming me to your group, I definitely think it will help me as I'm still struggling to cope after the mc... I'm unable to ttc just yet as I've got to wait for some tests from the hospital... they think maybe March or April! It's such a long time to wait!

I discounted the stupidly low one... I didn’t like it 😂😂

Wow what a morning to catch up on.
@princessbala welcome! Hope you find some this some help!

@TwittleBee sorry it's not the results you wanted. I'm losing track with who is where in this process... you've had no AF yet right? Maybe your body needs a reset first.

@Frazzlerock my DH is the same. He's gone back to being quite unsupportive again. About time I 'stopped obsessing and letting it take over our lives'.
I'm not in a great place off meds but don't want to start anything if I'm TTC and mess up my body more than it already is. DH is really supposed to be on tablets too but he came off them and kids himself he's fine, he's not! But his cones out in temper and flying off the handle.... but mixed with mine being constant anxiety that's not a good combo. Went mad at me yesterday for getting another blood test saying its ridiculous and I'm just impatient... he doesn't seem to get that it was my 'impatience' that found something was wrong otherwise we would most likely have been at our 12 week scan just befor Xmas and finding out our baby had died 6 weeks earlier!

Those with messed up cycles.... AMEN to that!!
It's driving me (more) nuts!!
Another HIGH on CB monitor (no LH surge)
Another negative internet cheapie OPK

I chucked my old bbt away as my new one arrived... got my Celcius temp this morning and now found FF won't let me change my chart!! Have to set it at start of each cycle and then can't change!!
I've had to download Kindara and manually convert all my temps to C and will go back to FF next cycle. Here's how it looks this morning.

Re CM I swear Its like someone chucked sand on it, I've been dry since my AF/blood loss at Xmas!!

@ratherbeshowjumping the turkey baster made me laugh.... how could he 'self perform' tho?? My DH would not be up for that!! Hope you shot it up with some force to give them a head start!! 😂😂😂

Twittle yeah despite the nice looking rise I'm sure I've not ovulated. My usual temps post o are above 36.5. You're right I have enough that I should be able to see it when it eventually does happen.

Tbh I ignore CM if I'm sure I've ovulated. Could you have a fever that's causing the high temperatures? Cause your temps seem post o high.

smerlin I hadn't heard that about caffeine, interesting. I don't think my DH drinks much but I always leave for work before him so I really have no idea. Maybe I'll switch his weekend tea to decaf 😈

Had Ewcm this morning and marking down yesterday's as that too now. Anyway, here's my chart. FF has now gone back to dotted cross hairs! Urgh!

That's a nightmare rather but glad you made the most of a bad situation!

@princessbala welcome and sorry you are here. I think this group keeps us all sane though!

@TwittleBee so sorry. First cycle is a nightmare. I know it is 'safe' to start trying straight after mc but seems our bodies don't know what they are doing!

Wrt to the article about sperm and mc, has anyone read about risks of caffeine and mc? Seems like male consumption of caffeine is also a risk factor? No way will I convince DH to give up his coffee habit!

Thanks everyone. DH has now said maybe it was a CP and body has rejected it because I'm ill? Guess I'll just have to see, I'll test again when AF is due which would be next weekend (going by FF dates and previous Luteal Phase length)

Not melodramatic at all Frazzle I totally get it. Especially with the whole issue with the utilities on top of it all. Is your DP someone you're able to explain about how youre not even in The Zone or will that set him off?

edidxb can take weeks for ovulation post MC. I didn't ovulate till CD27 (12 days post when I usually Ov). Keep DTD and FX.

Glad you found us princessbala and welcome

Kin your temps are certainly still quite low so they must be pre-ov temps surely? There's enough there now that you'll notice a clear rise.

Haha Rather good luck! Hope that does work out!

Betty just give it a go and see how it works out. I got some pretty good temp patterns when DS was still regularly night waking at start of the year.

Rachy so great you have a GP taking your anxiety seriously and being supportive. I just feel left in the dark by all health professionals

@princessbala I completely missed your post. I'm so sorry for your loss xx

Betty it's worth trying a cycle with temping and seeing if it works for you despite having broken sleep. Some people the lack of sleep will really affect their temperatures whereas others might still see a pattern (even if the chart isn't textbook).

@Rachyrach83 what a story!! How are you feeling now post meds? I suffer with anxiety too & was on antidepressants when I fell pregnant but came off them on drs recommendation as soon as I found out. I'm trying not to go back to them but it's so, so hard.

Thanks for the link @Kinsters that's really interesting. Nice to know the "blame" isn't solely on women....!

Big, big hugs @TwittleBee that's really shit. We are all here for you xxx

Oh @Frazzlerock what a day 😫 completely get lying in bed not wanting to cry, I've been there too. Our DHs sound quite similar - when they're not in the mood, they're not in the mood - and I know exactly how frustrating it feels to lie clock watching knowing you're not going to conceive because you haven't even tried. It doesn't sound melodramatic at all.

@BettySwoll0cks my dh has said exactly the same about feeling like a sperm donor sometimes. It's hard!

Well, hopefully this should cheer you up. So DHs football team won 7-0 last night watching them was probably why he didn't want to go in the hot tub so he was in a good mood... great 👍🏼
Anyway, all going well & we have pressure related performance issues again. He got upset, we had a chat and we decided to try the turkey baster method with some of the syringes we had from the pre-seed.
Cue me in my dressing gown searching for a suitable pot at midnight 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 whether it will work or not, I don't know, but at least we have some sort of chance of conceiving 🙈