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Original poster

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

961 replies

Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 09:41

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

OP posts:
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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 15:52

Betty You're braver than I with the medical management. Any reason you chose that option over surgery?

Re the progesterone. When we lost our second, I bled very heavily for a long time and it didn't seem to be lessening so I used my corporate medical insurance (doesn't cover miscarriage investigation but for consistent bleeding I was covered). When I was in with the consultant he suggested taking progesterone for my next pregnancy as I have PCOS which is known to cause problems with progesterone production, and he wrote me a prescription. I kept it all this time (though 2.5 years later I had to request a new prescription) and 'cashed it in' as soon as I got my BFP this time. He also suggested I take baby aspirin so I did that too. Not that it did any good.

Right, I'll be back after this GP appointment. Last time I saw her, I was panicking and she booked my EPU scan, she was really positive for me Sad.
I hope the referral comes through quickly....

OP posts:
BettySwoll0cks · 03/12/2018 15:43

Btw @Frazzlerock what's the score with taking progesterone? Was that given by your GP for a specific reason or is that part of the recurrent mc process?

BettySwoll0cks · 03/12/2018 15:35

Hello ladies. So sorry we all find ourselves on the thread, but without many people to talk to about it IRL it’s lovely to have a board like this.

I am going in for medical management tomorrow. Not sure if I’m doing the right thing - at my hosp you go in and have the pessaries administered, then you have to sit still for an hour and then they send you home. I don’t have anyone to drive me home so I am going to have to chance it and hope the drugs don’t kick in while I’m driving back (40 min drive 😬) but I’ll take lots of towels and pads and a change of clothes just in case. How fucking miserable is that?!

Last time (March 18) I was booked in for an ERPC but when they did the final confirmatory scan they found a heartbeat and refused to do the op. Needless to say the baby was not developing correctly and so I passed it naturally about a fortnight later. The whole thing was a heartbreaking nightmare. I felt like opting for something else this time...

A big hug to all of you xx

TinselBee · 03/12/2018 15:35

I need help, I've set myself up for a disappointing birthday... worked out that there is a chance I could see a BFP on my birthday if we were lucky to conceive straight after the surgery. FFS

TinselBee · 03/12/2018 15:20

Frazzle lovely you had a friend round, really helps to have company in times like this. I also think it is a good idea to paint the nursery too, it was actually what I have been thinking about today. I do not think I can bare the thought to decorate how I had planned for baby we have just lost though so need new ideas. How are you decorating your nursery totally not stealing ideas ? Hope you get answers and solutions to whats been happening, maybe other hormones could be out of whack? I really have no clue. FX for you though.

I have no clue why they are making me wait till Friday, feels cruel to be dragging it out. I think it is a reasonably busy hospital. Although never was running over in EPU (but did struggle for beds when I was in labour with DS). Maybe its a bit hit n miss?

Tempted to take Wednesday off actually, I work part time so I shall have tomorrow afternoon off and Thursday too anyway. It comes in waves, at times I find myself either so busy I cant think about it or other times I forgot that I have my dead baby still in me and suddenly remember which is when it all comes crashing down. I think I need a day to process without DS around, a day where I can pack up a few f the precious things and the baby memory book that started being filled out all away in a nice box.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 15:03

Hi guys,

Sorry, I started this group then disappeared. My friend came over to keep me company for a few hours.

@hayleyfx my love, I am so so so sorry this has happened to you yet again, I hope with time we can all start to feel a bit better about things. But, for now, it is all so raw for all of us I think. I was like you in that miscarriage hadn't crossed my mind the first time and no, like you say, here we are. It is not something we could ever have imagined, is it.

@ratherbeshowjumping we are over here lovely.

@Rose68 my bleeding almost stopped the night of the op, then was pretty much non existent the next day. I only wore a panty liner over night that following night and then it all started again. Luckily I woke and caught it before I wrecked the bed - god this is glamorous isn't it Sad
Been pretty much the same flow since then, now 3 days after my op.

@TinselBee that is a long time to wait. Is it a very busy hospital?

I'm still so shocked at how many of us have had bad news from that thread. I'm sure that isn't normal, is it? Still, I am pleased we are able to get together for support now.

I didn't keep in contact with any other 'loss mummies' (for want of a better expression) from the Sept 2016 thread but, like I said before, it was a bit fraught on there anyway.

@Gothqueen I'm sorry you have found yourself here too. Did you ever get around to joining our ante natal thread? I've a terrible memory at the best of times but I can't place your name.
I hope we can bring you some comfort here.

Today I have decided to paint the baby's room, regardless of what has happened. It will keep me busy and focused, plus give me a little bit of hope - which I don't have much left of right now Sad

I've just ordered some wall stickers, and will go out tomorrow to buy wall paint.

I've a GP appointment this afternoon to get my referral to the recurrent MC clinic. I've no idea what to expect once I get to meet with the consultant. I was already taking progesterone and baby aspirin so I'm not sure what other options I have left. We have a lot of questions though.

I'm desperate to start trying again ASAP but I am petrified DP will change his mind again like he did before Sad

What is everyone up to today?
Tinsel I know you told me in your message that you have had to go straight back to work Sad. I just don't know how you're coping with that. You really need some down time to process, is there no way you can take some days off sick? Get your GP to sing you off? Or would you prefer to work?

OP posts:
TinselBee · 03/12/2018 14:04

oh yay!! Thank you so much for setting this up Frazzle

Rose68 I confusingly NC to a more festive name for the season Grin

So sorry that we are all here Sad but hopefully we can help each other get through this

I've got my surgery booked for 7am Friday. I am surprised I have to wait so long for it? Terrified of bleeding before I go in, my periods are horridly heavy so got knows how bad it will be if I do start MCing naturally?

Gothqueen · 03/12/2018 13:54

Hi ladies. I'm sorry for all of your losses ❤
Found out we'd mc last week so no July baby for us 😢Still bleeding and cramp and wholeheartedly devastated. So many website say so many things about ttc afterwards. My OH is desperate to as would be his first. I'm feel I'm too scared until had at least 1 cycle xx

Rose68 · 03/12/2018 11:46

@Hayleyfx I’m so so sorry you have been through all of that and that you are here again and joining us on this thread. Although of course it is lovely to have you.
Have you tried asprin and progesterone? How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I really hope they can find some answers for you this time, it’s so horrid they make some women go through this over and over before they start looking into it.
I am sure you will get your baby xxx

hayleyfx · 03/12/2018 11:23

Hi ladies - sadly I’m joining you. Lost my July baby. Looking into recurrent miscarriage testing now.

Been TTC #1 for 14 months.
December 2017 - missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, baby stopped growing at 6 weeks
2 chemical pregnancies - March and September 2018
August 2018 - termination for medical reasons as my son was seriously ill with a neural tube defect. 14 weeks pregnant.
December 2018 - just lost my 5th pregnancy. Should have been 6+3 but only measured 5+3 weeks. Bleeding started yesterday naturally.

Now at the moment I’m a bit at a loss. I think my body needs a break for at least a few months to recover and to get some testing done. I’m hoping that something is found that is fixable so I don’t have to experience another miscarriage. It’s crazy, in my first pregnancy I never even considered miscarriage as a possibility and now here I am! Never thought it would happen to me.

I’m so sorry we’re all here but we can all be here to support each other in the following months 💕

Rose68 · 03/12/2018 11:18

Thank you for the new thread @Frazzlerock! Did you mean @Twittlebee? 😁
I hope you ladies are all holding it together, I think I’m about a week to 10 days ahead of the rest of you and my bleeding seems to have finally stopped, I can’t decide if that makes me sad or not. My bleeding slowed down pretty quickly after the op, but the spotting seemed to carry on for a while.
Anyway sending you all loads of love xxx