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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

961 replies

Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 09:41

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

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BettySwoll0cks · 04/12/2018 13:39

I have, however, managed to really piss my EPU off today by getting my doctor to phone and ask if they will accept a sample when I pass the pregnancy, for genetic testing. Apparently the EPU went all binary about it still being "viable" but my point is, if I (likely) lose this one in the next few weeks, had I not asked, I could lose the opportunity to find out what is going wrong.

Sorry for banging on about my situation. You all have your own stuff to worry about xx

BettySwoll0cks · 04/12/2018 13:34

@Rose68 I am 8 weeks today by LMP, 7+5 from my O date. Baby is measuring about 6 weeks. Chances that this will end well are so remote (and it's the 3rd time I have had this happen). It's just not .... science. Sad

Rose68 · 04/12/2018 13:18

Betty, are you sure there’s no hope? If last week there was no Fetal pole and this week there’s a 4mm Fetal pole with heart beat... could that be good? How many weeks are you meant to be? xxx

BettySwoll0cks · 04/12/2018 10:59

I know, it's weird isn't it? But I guess the EPU don't want the responsibility of declaring a live pregnancy non viable (although they were happy enough last week when I was just showing a gest. sac and a yolk, albeit they were still growing Hmm) Anyway, I've been through a natural mc before so I know what to expect. I just wanted to have it over with before the Christmas hols as I will mostly be solo parenting DS.

TinselBee · 04/12/2018 10:44

oh i am so so so so sorry, that is so horrible tough BettySwoll0cks Sad I must admit this does confuse though when Hospitals make that choice because you could still get an abortion? Is so odd! I am so sorry you are going through this again Flowers Sending you love xx

BettySwoll0cks · 04/12/2018 10:19

Urgh, what a disaster. I'm back waiting again because the sonographer found a 4mm fetal pole with a heartbeat, and they won't do anything while there is still a live pregnancy. I've been exactly here before - there's no hope for a pregnancy that's 2 weeks behind at this stage so now I just have to wait until my body catches up and rejects it. Sad

TinselBee · 04/12/2018 09:42

Good luck for today Betty I hope it all goes okay for you and isn't too bad. Be kind to yourself for sure over next week or so.

oh Hopefulirishmammy I am sorry you have found yourself here too. Never easy having a pregnancy announcement in these situations. I do keep trying to remember my family motto of "there is no bad time for good news" but it is hard. My DSis gave birth the day before my MMC was confirmed. I havent been able to face meeting my new nephew yet.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 04/12/2018 09:14

Hi hopeful

It's shit isn't it. And you're doing remarkably well with your best friend. I'd have been a wreck and I think I'd refuse to see her for now.

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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 04/12/2018 09:11

tinsel I'm glad the nurse gave you some confidence, still sounds so horribly grim though, as if this wasn't hard enough already 😢

Betty I hope it goes as well as it can today. Please keep us updated and let us know if you're struggling with it all xx

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Hopefulirishmammy · 04/12/2018 09:10

Can I join you guys? (Not a question any of us ever hoped to ask). I was due end of june 2019 and missed last week at 10 weeks. Thought I was doing ok, till my best friend rang me yesterday (we’re due to meet up tomorrow) and as I’d guessed, she’s also due in June. I’m delighted all is going well for her...but also sad for me. And a bit jealous!

I’ve been bleeding now for a week and am now at the stage of oddly hoping everything has cleared so I avoid surgery. Physically it’s been manageable but I’m getting fed up! I hate that my to do list for today involves buying pregnancy tests, to see when they turn negative. Sorry, think I’m having a grumpy morning!

I’d been lurking on the July 19 thread - as I’d held out hope that my dates would turn out to be behind. I’m so sorry so many of you are here. Flowers

Ps. Bettyswollocks hugs and luck. Hope your home and as comfortable as can be soon x

BettySwoll0cks · 04/12/2018 08:50

Morning all, sorry for your rotten night @TinselBee. Similar here, worrying about having The Pills today.

However, the advantage of being the first through the door at the EPU ... they haven't had a chance to get behind yet. Just want to get this done and over with now and get home. A big hug to all x

TinselBee · 04/12/2018 08:44

Horrid how sad it actually is sleeping through for you Frazzle and not having raging thirst. Can imagine it is hard not having DH around at time like this, glad you have your friend with you though again today. I've found having people about whilst DH has been on Nigh Shifts has helped massively.

Hope DH isnt delayed in getting back to you this evening.

Oh that poem made me cry, really hope that you find your solutions soon to this sad ordeal and that you have a beautiful healthy baby soon.

Really hope that this is our lucky thread seems the July 2019 Antenatal thread wasnt for any of us.

I rang up EPU again this morning to check advice was correct, this time I was put through to the Duty Nurse who actually filled me with much more confidence. She said if bleeding and pain get too much then go straight to A&E and they will fit me in for my surgery before Friday. But she reckons I won’t pass my baby before Friday anyway, as usually there are a few days of bleeding before body rejects the sac & baby etc. She said that I do not need to collect everything, only collect my sac and baby and I should put this is a clean zip lock bag or plastic pot and keep in the fridge (!?!). Apparently I will certainly know when I have passed my baby as, despite it only being about the size of a blueberry it will be very distinctive (!?!)

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 04/12/2018 07:16

Sorry you were awake tinsel
I slept through for the first time in a long time. My raging thirst has gone so I guess that's one less thing to keep me awake. Though I'd do anything to get it back.

The cats woke me at 6:30 wanting to be fed. DP has been doing it while I was pregnant as we raw feed them. But he's had to fly to Glasgow for work until today.

It's been hard not having him around the past 24 hours, and he's struggling being away too 😢

I wrote a poem yesterday. I might stick it on my blog but wanted to share it here first....

Three

How can you breath
When three little hearts inside you no longer beat

How can you trust again
When hope has betrayed you

How can you make sense
When the effortlessness all around you seems an impossible dream

How can you see brightness
When darkness has blinded you

How can you be you again
When you’ve been crushed three times

Three hopes
Three births
Three cries
Three kisses
Three snuggles on the sofa
Three unconditional loves
Three distant dreams

My friend who came over yesterday is taking me out this morning, just to get out the house. We're going to look at Xmas decorations. I'm going to break my B&M cherry - I've no idea even what this shop is but I've a feeling it'll be an eye opener. I did ask my friend what the quality of decorations is like there, she didn't convince me it was great! But then last year our cats pulled the tree down and all the baubles smashed so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Bleeding seems to be slowing this morning, it's much more watery now,
I can't stop crying this morning, I think it's because DP isn't here, but he will be back tonight.

I hope everyone else has a good day. Well as good as possible anyway Brew

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TinselBee · 04/12/2018 03:13

Also awake at bloody 3am due to pregnancy insomnia... wish these fucking symptoms would go!!!!!!!! Bleeding has stopped at least.

TinselBee · 04/12/2018 03:12

Love the look of that scheme Frazzle . It isn't too dissimilar to what we had planned already actually. We were going for a forest theme with soft greens and woods. Maybe doing bold colours would be a good alternative. Thank you.

BettySwoll0cks · 03/12/2018 20:41

@Frazzlerock that's a beautiful scheme for the baby's room. I love wall decals - my DS's room has hot air balloons and clouds and he loves them

Rose68 · 03/12/2018 20:37

@Frazzlerock I love your baby’s room, it makes me feel so sad. I don’t think you need a regular cycle for the blood tests, day 3 is easy cause it’s just after af comes, so should be the same for everyone. That one tests your FSH and LH and I think can give an idea if you are perimenopausal. The day 21 is the progesterone test, but I’m pretty sure it should be done a week after ovulation. So if you know when you ovulate it should be possible.

@Bettyswoll0cks, that sounds like a nightmare. I didn’t even know uteruses could be lying in different directions, or what an impact it could have. Shows how much I know!

I think that ovulation pain was a false alarm, it seems to have stopped for now.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 17:52

Baby's room

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten
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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 17:46

I got my referral form from the GP. Apparently it is a self booking service, I just need to wait a week for her to do my letter/send it off, then I can book it. Though she said I could try and book it early and see.

Then I went to buy some tester paint for the baby's room.
Tinsel I'll grab you a pic of what I am doing. Feel free to use the idea if you like it, I'm not precious at all and I'm copying it myself so...

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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 17:40

Betty blimey, your uterus sounds like it needs a good talking to! What a nightmare for you.
Tinsel oh no! This is exactly the reason I plumped for surgery. Just stay at home and let your DH do everything. You must rest now. I don't know the logistics of collecting your baby and everything that comes with.. that is what I worried about. Unless you just lie on your bed with lots of towels?
Rose no he didn't' test me for it. He just sad take it just in case as can't do any harm so I went for it. I didn't know anything about the Day3/21 bloods. Wouldn't that only work with a regular cycle anyway? Mine's far from regular. It does what it pleases.

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TinselBee · 03/12/2018 16:45

So I phoned EPU and they've told me to keep everything I pass in a box because they need it for my genetic testing. They said I have to wait till Friday unless bleeding becomes unmanageable and I run a fever Sad feels so wrong and unfair trying to collect my "baby" on my own.

Rose68 that's early for post MC isn't it? Could be a good sign tjat your body is helaing lovely and well! FX

Rose68 · 03/12/2018 16:41

@Tinselbee oh no I’m so sorry to hear that.... will you go into hospital? I can’t believe your hospital made you wait for so long. Mine was confirmed on the Friday at a private scan, then I got a scan with the epu on the Monday and I had the surgery on the Tuesday (2 weeks ago tomorrow). The weekend in between was horrid, I said those words to DH ‘I had a dead baby inside me’ and he said it’s not a baby 🙄😬

@Frazzlerock Did you have your progesterone checked before taking it? I had my day 3 and day 21 bloods done and my progesterone was okay.

I feel like I’m getting ovulation pains which I wasn’t expecting just yet

BettySwoll0cks · 03/12/2018 16:23

Awwww @TinselBee sorry to hear that, it's so miserable. Don't write off a procedure though, I bled for a couple of weeks in the Spring and they still offered me surgical management xx

TinselBee · 03/12/2018 16:04

I've started bleeding... I guess no surgery for me now then? Looks like I will need time off work Sad already starting to pour out of me

BettySwoll0cks · 03/12/2018 16:02

Fingers crossed for you @Frazzlerock for a speedy referral. I am going to kick that process off too after I've dealt with this mc - I qualify now I've had 3!! Thanks for the info about the progesterone I will ask about that as/when I get my referral.

For the med vs surgical management, I apparently have an awkward anatomy, with a cervix that can be tricky to find and a very retroverted uterus. So much so, that when I had a mirena coil fitted it perforated straight through they uterus because (they think) it wasn't seated correctly. Had it fished out from my spleen in the end by keyhole. I just feel like if anyone is going to end up with scarring/damage it's likely to be me, so I don't feel comfortable about that.