The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

Thank you everyone. You're right, it's pretty shit and really unfair.
I am 36, 37 in Jan and from everything I have read it is harder but not impossible at all. So many people have babies in late 30s and early 40s. Even if some sort of assistance is required. I don't have any children yet so I don't even have the evidence that I can carry one to full term which is awful but will just have to keep on trying.
@Rose68, you are right. There are lots of stories out there saying that people measured behind and it was all good. However, if it happens to me again or to someone else I would err on the cautious side that it probably won't be OK.
Thanks @Frazzlerock for setting up the new thread. I read your blog too which I thought was very truthful and well written.
I just need to prepare for tomorrow now. It's quite unnerving not having an appointment or a firm arrangement. The whole "turn up and hopefully they'll operate if you say you have bleeding" thing unnerves me as I like a plan. However, the doctor must have been through it before so I believe her it will all be OK. I am just going to take my kindle and phone charger and hopefully it will get me through the day! I hate hospitals so much - they scare me.

@Rose68 you're certainly not too old... My SIL had my DN a few years back, at 42. I don't think that's considered old at all. She did have a mc at 5 weeks before him. Keep faith. Surely if you're DH is happy to have contraception free sex then he should be aware of what could happen, regardless of whether you're "trying" or not?!

I think I’m struggling to keep up a bit here... so sorry if I have missed things.

@Tinsel, I’m so sorry you had to take your DS to hospital, and holding a baby must have been so hard. I feel sure you will hold your own baby in the not too distant future.

@Ratherbe DH and I are getting on a bit, I am by far the oldest here at 43. Hence the reason for my mc I suspect, so if we are to try again it needs to be soon. It took me a year and a half to talk DH into trying this time totally wasted time that we didn’t have. I have a little voice in my head telling me I should be grateful for what I already have, but another that is so desperate for another baby. Maybe I should walk away and find a more constructive use for my time and energy. Trouble is, I don’t look my age, I don’t feel my age, all my blood tests were great. I do feel like it’s still possible. It’s a tricky one.

@Rose68 - that must be really tough. Are you keen to try again ASAP?

Thank you @hopefulirishmammy, sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish. Cold sores are the sign of being rundown, make sure you're looking after yourself.

An ex client of mine has just put a video on Facebook this morning of her riding her horse bareback at 6 months pregnant. I'm not judging yes I am but just think I did everything right, I took no risks, I was so careful... why did it happen to me...? I feel awful saying this as have absolutely no idea what this girl has been through but riding a horse bare back when you ride like a sack of potatoes at the best of times 6 months pregnant... why would you take that risk.

Oh @tinselbee that’s so hard. I can’t imagine being able to hold a little one just now. You’ve some strength (and hubby too). Hope he’s ok?

@edidxb I’m sorry you’ve had to join us.

@rather and @rose sending luck and dust your way. I’ve my fingers and toes crossed all of us fall quickly!

I’m still at the “this is shit phase” as I’m still bleeding, meaning we can’t try just yet. And...I also have a head cold and this mornings new addition of a cold sore - so not exactly feeling good on the attractive stakes either! (Although it’s been strange to see my shape return!).

@Merlin I know how you feel. Two of my close friends have announced their pregnancies, sensitively at least, since I’ve shared my news. Their both due June and July. While I’m delighted for them, we’ve had a rocky road ttc and I can’t help but be a bit green eyed monster too!

@edidxb I am so so sorry, it hurts like hell and there is nothing anyone can say to make it any better. The D&C was definitely the right choice for me, the doctors & nurses were all lovely and very supportive. It was done very quickly and I had very little bleeding after. It’s a shame your husband is away, can your friend stay with you after? I was told someone should be with me for 48 hours after the operation. I think it’s cause of the general anaesthetic.

It really seems that measuring behind is not good.

My DH won’t commit to trying again, but he seems to be quite happy to have contraceptive free sex. I feel like I’m waiting for him to pull the plug.

@smerlin that's really shit it's not too early for this, is it?!

Oh Tinsel 🙈 as if you haven't enough to deal with... what a rubbish start to the day. I hope your little one is ok, poor thing.
That must have been awful for you 😢😢
Sending lots of hugs. Hope you get home soon!

Judging from the day I started bleeding, if I conceived this month, I'd be due on the 28th August... that doesn't even seem too far from my original due date of 5th July. I am desperately trying to remain positive that it will happen quickly.

@TinselBee that's really hard holding a baby.

I had a friend announce her pregnancy the day I suspected the start of miscarriage last week and then last night, watching some action film, there was a whole part where the protagonist's wife finds out she is pregnant and they are going to baby scans together. Wtf- thought I had been punched in the stomach!

Sorry to see you here @edidxb

Hope you can get op sorted quickly. x

Oh I am so so sorry to see you join us edidxb glad you've found your way here though. Certainly seems like going for the D&C option straight away is a good choice this time. Hope all goes smoothly for you xx

Ratherbe I hope you get lucky first time and we can all join you on the Antenatal board. What month would we all be due in if we were all lucky 1st time? I haven't worked that out actually.

So in A&E atm, DS tried drinking a a hot cup of tea and spilt it all over himself.... He's fine but was told to come in just in case. Anyway, I Dad is here with his newborn who is really sick. He asked me to hold his newborn for him whilst he cleared up the sick and I could have cried. DH saw how much pain I was in. Was such an odd sensation to be holding someone else's newborn whilst I've got a dead baby in me

I'm so sorry to see you here @edidxb
That sounds awful, I'm glad you have a friend you can be with. Your poor DH too, it must be awful for him being away from you right now.
You sound like you're being so strong ❤️
Sending lots of love to you xxxx

We're "seeing how things go" this cycle then back to tracking properly next I think. Judging by EWCM, I think now is about right. Typical that I spent months tracking everything then the month I did fall pg, I recorded nothing, so I don't have much to really go on. We dtd Mon & yesterday, I think I'll pounce on DH tomorrow too.
We did try on Tuesday but poor DH put himself under so much pressure & it wouldn't work 🙈

Hi all. I'm here to join the party too from the July ante-natal boards. Had my scan this morning (3rd one) and it was bad news. Another missed miscarriage. I should have been 9+4 but was actually 6+2.
I had my last scan and was 6 weeks even though I thought I was 7. There was a heartbeat so the doctor thought everything was fine but asked me to come back in 2 weeks which I did.
I was reasonably hopeful. Still having some nausea even though I wasn't as tired and boobs not as senstitve. But it wasn't to be.
I had mentally prepared myself but still burst into tears and am devastated.
Last time I went for the natural miscarriage which I found out at 10 weeks but it was 8+3. I ended up in an ambulance and hospital in so much pain having a D&C so this time I am going straight for the operation.
I live in Dubai so it's a bit different here with insurance so my doctor told me to go to A&E tomorrow morning and they should be able to do it tomorrow. If I make an appointment for surgery it has to get preapproval from the insurance company which takes days.
So I'll take my dog to boarding today and head to the hospital tomorrow and hopefully they do it and I don't have to wait too long. Just have to fast after dinner tonight.
Was taking the progesterone and aspirn this time. I am convinced the progesterone just masks a miscarriage and if I get pregnant again (hopefully) then I don't think I'll take it next time.
My husband is away (typical) but I have a friend who can come and pick me up at least. I am signed off work for a week so I'll head to the supermarket in moment, buy a croissant and then maybe come home and have a full caffeine tea!
urgghhhhhhhh, so unfair for us all.
xxxxx

Btw is anyone else finding they are super hot one second then super cold? Been winding me up all yesterday and last night!

Betty have done at start of TTC journey by BBT but ended up just going by CM. But think I'll start BBT again from this weekend

That's good to hear @TinselBee. Do you chart your cycles? Could be useful if you do conceive without having had a period in between

Afternoon everyone, hope you're all as well as you can be xx

Frazzle I am so sorry you've been crying. It's good to get it all out. How does you DH feel about TTC again? Did you get out shopping? Hope you enjoyed yourself. I totally understand how you feel about work and the dress, in the same boat here. Foolishly have had same dress for past 2 christmassy now unworn.

Rather that's how I've been feeling too at work. Taken rest of the week off, didn't go in today. It's tough isn't it? Good on you from managing to work from home and powering through

So sorry to read how poorly you've felt Betty and it's good to have time away from work and rest.

Bleeding is so odd, it's just like brown blood in with CM now. It's so light. But cramping and back pain is awful.

Spoken to DH and I think we will actually TTC straight away

Absolutely do not blame you @BettySwoll0cks
I'm working from home in my pjs and the desire to curl into a ball and not adult today is beyond tempting

Frazzle, I’m so sorry that’s so tough. It sounds like YOU know what you need to do for you. That’s all you can do. But sending hugs your way!
And well done on organizing. It sounds fab!!

I went to part of my work do on Friday, mainly as some colleagues are friends, partly as I had also organized it. And partly as it helped break the news for me before I officially return and am expected to work “like normal” (most people knew as it’s a social environment and I was obviously not drinking and fairly ill, plus frontline healthcare so was risk assessed!). I had a line prepped that I was comfortable saying when people said something (mainly comforting comments but still hard to hear) and for me it worked. I felt more supported after and have even got a few nice texts/emails. BUT you know what you can manage and what you need. I’m sorry it’s not as you had hoped. It’s not a nice reminder

To the others at work...I’ve no idea how your there! I’ve been so emotionally exhausted I’ve slept past ten most mornings and napped most days!! I’m back in tomorrow to organize my timetable for the following week. I spent this morning leaving my house (which I really haven’t done in the last week) and then cleaning and dancing to cheesy songs. Now I’m shattered. I’m kinda in awe of your bravery!

..... For 3 hours. Whoops

A huge hug to you @Frazzlerock I'm so sorry you won't get it enjoy your organisational wizardry tonight it sounds like an amazing Christmas do. Like ratherbe, we had friends round at the weekend and although I definitely didn't feel at my sparkly best, I am glad we did it. Much easier when DP is around to support I think.

I have just given up at work. I feel so ill - like the worst ever hangover, and shaking all over - I don't remember feeling as bad as this with my first but maybe I've forgotten. I have a laptop for work so I can keep on top of things but first I'm going to have a sleep. 😴

Oh Frazzle it sounds like you're being so, so brave. I really wish I could just bring you a cup of tea and give you a huge hug.

Is there no way you can go tonight? It sounds like a fantastic night (kudos to you for organising that!) and may make you feel a little better just to get out and see what you've achieved...?
One of my best friends is 20 weeks, I was so excited to be off on mat leave at the same time as her - on the weekend, we'd arranged for her, her DH & DS to come for Sunday lunch. DH and I were absolutely dreading it and I had even picked up the phone a few times ready to cancel during the week. We ended up having a lovely afternoon and I'm so pleased I didn't cancel the plans.

Hope you have a lovely day, whatever you end up doing.

I'm working but in honesty am finding it tough to concentrate (hence why I'm here...). All I want to do is curl up with my dogs and a good book and just pretend the past 2 weeks have been a horrible nightmare.