The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

Morning
@Tinselbee - I highly doubt that there is ANYTHING that you did that led to the miscarriage. All of those happen to women and they have very successful pregnancies. There is NO evidence that stress or anxiety leads to miscarriage anyway.
In my first pregnancy this year which ended in MMC I travelled frm Dubai to Vancouver when I was 5 weeks which was one 8 hour flight, followed by one 91/2 hour flight followed by just 2 nights in Vancouver for a job interview and then the same flights back. I didn't get the job and I beat myself up over it that it might have caused it but it didn't.
This time, I could have gone for a long weekend with my husband to Europe and I didn't as I didn't want to travel. And yet the same thing happened.
I took progesterone both pregnancies and aspirin this time - both of which are meant to help stop miscarriages from happening yet they didn't.
I am afraid that there are just so many "just one of those things". So PLEASE, please do not beat yourself up about what you did/didn't. I know it is natural to do so and easy to do so especially when we have time but don't as none of what your brain is telling you is true!
The chances of having 2 miscarriages back to back is only 1% yet it happened to me and whilst I am 36 I am very healthy, don't smoke, don't drink much and yet.........
But I have been researching this morning since I have been up since 6.30am and there are so many women who have multiple miscarriages who then go on to carry full term.

@Rachyrach83 - welcome. Sounds very similar to a lot of us on here. In terms of HCG mine are not being checked now, but when I had a miscarriage last time I also had the D&C/ERPC and I bled for a good 2 weeks afterwards. It also took me 2-3 months to start ovulating again which was really frustrating.

I just think, that if you are both able and willing, to start trying again as soon as possible - regardless of blood in the uterus or if you think you are not ovulating. Just try.
We took an almost 4 month break last time. Partly as I wasn't ovulating and partly because my husband wanted a break. It was really frustrating but then there are 2 of us in this game.
Not sure what will happen this time, as my DH is currently away so we haven't had a chance to talk about anything but I want to try straight away. We just missed out on the 6month fertility window after my last mmc and I wonder if that didn't help.

I am still in pain this morning, but I don't think it helped by stripping the bed, putting laundry on and making the bed!! But I just really wanted clean sheets for tonight and my husband isn't back until 11pm. Determined to rest for the rest of the day though.

Hey Rachy welcome, sorry you're having to join us under these circumstances. I haven't any experience with hcg levels (mine aren't being monitored) but hope someone can offer some advice in the morning for you. I wouldn't worry about waiting for a 1st period though if you didn't want to, also I think it is the first 6 months so if you did want to wait for a 1st period then you'd have a few more cycles of this apparent super fertile window. Xx

Hi there
I wondered if I was ok to join you ladies
I was due on 4th July and has a MMC at 9.5 weeks
The baby stoppe growing at 5.6 weeks but maintained a heartbeat through weekly scans which saw minimal growth until heartbeat stopped at scan last tues (27/11) and I had ERPC on 29th Nov.

I’m devastated and
I’m scared!!

I’m still spotting 9 days later (brown on wiping) and on ‘just In case’ antibiotics
I’m aware my hcg in 24/11 were 33,000 and stil bfp on home test today.

I’m 35 and desperate to try again as soon as possible. I’m worried about stories of vile clotty AF afterwards and thinking will that make it inhabitable in my uterus to get a sticky baby if I don’t wait for first AF???
But then I hear this is the most fertile time??

Any experiences of how long hcg of 30,000 takes to fall???
All experience of sticky babies straight after ERPC without AF first??

Thank you all xxxxx

Still bloody awake. Tbf DS did wake up just as I was finally dropping off but now I'm stuck on repeat thinking about what I could have done wrong:

1. Car crash
2. Medication
3. Caffeine intake
4. Yoga
5. Push ups
6. Anxiety
7. Unhealthy eating
8. Insomnia

I know it could have just been one of those things out of my control but I feel like so much happened which could have caused the MC.

From now on I'm really going to be so cautious.

Hope everyone else is having good sleep xx

Oh was meant to say edidxb that I also had to keep repeating why I was there, the nurse (who asked me first) did apologise and said they have to check that they've got right patient and we know what's happening. Might have been something similar?

So having slept the day away I'm now wide awake typically. I got sent home in the end. Bleeding died down thankfully!

Frazzle did you get a nice tree? Sorry you've had horrid dreams, unsurprising with everything going on though really. So sweet to have those baubles btw. Hope you enjoyed decorating. Speaking of decorating, how's the nursery progressing?

Oh that is such an odd combo edidxb ! Tea and toast all the way. Hope the pain has died down for you? Do you have good supply of pain relief? I'm still riding on the strong stuff they gave me I think as I've been barely having any pain, luckily.

Glad to hear you're feeling stronger now ratherbe and I hope you and DH had fun this evening. Good luck with the MIL popping over!!

Just catching up - @edidxb and @TinselBee, you are the bravest two souls I know, I'm so glad that today went as well as it could for you both. I'm sorry you have to stay in Tinsel, hopefully you manage to get some sort of rest this evening.

A similar thing happened with my mc - they asked if I wanted to take the embryo home or put in the cremation. I thought that was lovely.

Your dream sounds awful @Frazzlerock - perhaps its your pregnancy hormones still?

I'm feeling stronger and stronger each day - I'm going to pounce on DH tonight, I know he's had a bit of a rubbish day with work so hopefully he will feel up for it, then I know that we've done everything we can to conceive this month. It makes me feel so much better.

MIL is coming over tomorrow so in between conference calls and emails, I'm trying to make the house look like I spend my days cleaning and washing and tidying and ironing like a good wife should do

Ah, tea and toast sounds amazing! I got fish, rice and mushrooms!! Who gives someone that after they come out of an operation. Luckily my friend arrived and got me a chocolate muffin from the cafe which was much better.
Glad you are OK @tinselbee - rubbish you have to stay in but good they are monitoring you. I had to stay for 3 more hours due to a high temperature but it finally came down and they let me home. I was there for 10 hours in total.
@Frazzlerock - I think I cried about 6 times today including in the waiting bay for the surgery. I also had to say a few times what I was there for. Shocking really. The staff were lovely but still.
I also dug out my Chistmas tree (fake) last night and put it up as distraction. It was really nice to come home to about 30 mins ago so really pleased I did.
I am now home and have had a shower and crisps. In pain but manageable.

Thank you everyone today for the kind comments - it has meant a lot.

Thank you everyone. Awake now and eating toast and tea. Bleeding is bad so they want to keep me in as they aren't happy with the clots. Should hopefully die down they said though.

I had to wait till last because theirs a lot of elderly people here, I am youngest by about 50 years, so they can't wait as long as someone young not to eat or drink. I do understand it but just hard when you're wanting it over with.

They gave me a new option of rather sending baby to clinical waste I could have the baby cremated and spread on site. That made me feel a lot better but did set me off crying just as the general anaesthetic was being administered.

edidxb glad you didn't have to wait too much longer and hope youre home now resting up

@TinselBee I’m so sorry this is made even harder. Hope your as ok as can be and that the wait is over sooner than they say!

@edidxb hoping your en route home with your friend. Take care of yourself.

Thinking of both of you x

Hope you start to feel better after today @TinselBee and @edidxb

Thinking of you both - such a horrible thing to have to go through.

@TinselBee what does age have to do with it? Am I missing something? Feeling cross for you xxx

Thanks all. I am out of surgery now with some juice and water. As long as I don't vomit I can have some food.
It was really sad as I remember the journey down the hospital.corridors to the theatre from March and I am.in almost the same room again.
But at least here I get my own private room. Think it will be another hour or two before I can go home. Need some food and then my friend will come.collect me.
Sorry my.phone is giving lots of full stops. Or it's me getting over the general anaesthetic.
Good luck @tinslebee you'll feel better once it is done x

@TinselBee and @edidxb I am thinking of you too.
Lots of love xxx

@edidxb & @TinselBee thinking of you both today. Sending lots of love to both of you xxxxx

Just turned up for my surgery too edidxb good luck for yours!

Can't believe I've had to wait a week for this surgery since confirmed MMC and now I'm being told as I'm the youngest on the ward I'm going to be last to be seen so should expect to not be operated on till this afternoon. I feel like crying. I'm still experiencing morning sickness and not having eaten or drunk anything since last night is so difficult. It's also all so real now. So fricking hard to think how some of you have done this more than once.

Hi all. Just waiting to go to surgery now. Been here for 3 and half hours so far but apparently it should be soon.
Nervous bit just want it done. X

@Bettyswoll0cks could it be pregnancy hormones still? Or an infection maybe?

@edidxb I hope it goes okay for tomorrow, I guess it could be today now where you are. Is this your second mc?

@Tinselbee I hope it goes okay for you as well tomorrow. You should start feeling better after the surgery hopefully.

@Frazlerock I hope you are doing okay, this is such a hard journey. Do your boys know what’s happened? I didn’t tell mine, but I very nearly told my older son. I have started changing my diet again too, mostly trying to reduce sugar and red meat, and eat lots of bean salads, chicken and vegetable broth, avocado, nuts and blueberries. I haven’t cut out gluten or dairy, but I was having hardly any last time as I was mostly living on the above foods (plus cereal and milk for breakfast). I am finding it much harder to cut out sugar this time plus with Christmas coming it’s gonna be tough.

No clue those of you are or have MC naturally do it. In agony today, still being sick and have slept most the day away. Feel so tough. So grateful DH is home to help with DS today as I wouldn't cope at all. Scared for tomorrow but also just want it over with.

DS is completely fine, he has some pinprick marks on him from the burn but doesn't seem bothered by it.

Still feeling so horribly bitter towards my DSis every time she uploads a photo or video of her newborn (she gave birth day before my confirmed MMC)

Frazzle I think considering every thing you're going through your behaviour was pretty normal. I've struggled to contain my anger and frustration. Had a go at someone in the car park the other day, completely out of character and not needed.

edidxb and Rose odds aren't against you yet lovelies. Neither of you are old at all, half my NCT mum's are your ages. I hope you get your snuggly newborns soon.

edidxb is pretty unnerving the whole turn up processes! Hope they do fit you in and it isn't as scary for you as you fear.

Sorry to hear you're feeling rough too Betty ! Hope it passes quickly

@edidxb thinking of you, that sounds rubbish. I would hate to just "stroll in" too, and hate thinking of you alone afterwards. Is there anyone who can stay with you for a bit?

@BettySwoll0cks - there's so much going around at the minute. It could be a bug. Hope you feel better soon.

I've had a much better day today. One of my best friends knocked on my door earlier in tears, she's got so much on her plate at the minute and has been fighting back talking as she's not wanted to put anything else on me, but I'm glad she came round and I was able to make her feel better. It does put things into perspective sometimes when you listen to other people and I think I'm starting to snap out of the "woe is me" mode I've been in for the past 10 days.

I'm really trying hard to be grateful for what I do have as opposed to what I've lost - not particularly into mindfulness but it is making me feel a lot more positive.

No temperature, although I had hot flushes all night and hardly slept. Maybe I do have a bug of some sort 🤷‍♀️ this isn't normal

OMG why am I feeling so ill? I am so nauseous, my head hurts, my whole body feels like it's pulsating. I want to climb out of my own skin. I am sure I never felt like this when I was pg with DS or with either of my mc's