The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

Thanks @Rose, I really needed that yesterday. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low. I understand exactly how frustrating it is when they are.... compliant?... I guess?... to ttc. I know I felt really resentful towards DH last year when I was desperate and he wanted to wait.

Skiing sounds fantastic though - lucky you!!! I absolutely love skiing but DH spends most of his time flat on his bum doesn't really enjoy it so always vetoes it

@smerlin I don't think it matters what level you're at, I think it's just a great feeling to be out and about and enjoying yourself!

So I typed at instead of doing @ sorry @smerlin 🙄😁

@Ratherbe I love that photo, I wish I had something I love to do in my life. I do love skiing, but we have only been once in the last 10 years. We are going at Easter, yay! Good news about the bad dream... if you know what I mean... it sounds promising.

@Tinsel I’m sure it will be okay, it’s just following surgery the risks are slightly higher.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who decided not to wait following the op, I am now waiting for pmt to get me, usually 4 days after ovulation, except in October when I had no pmt followed by my bfp.

At smerlin and @Tinsel I’m sorry to hear you have been feeling sad. I am the same, I haven’t been crying recently, but I feel so low. I’m not working at the moment which isn’t great for me as I don’t feel like I have a purpose or a focus. Probably hence the desperate longing for another baby. I have so much regret about not managing to talk DH into this sooner, I am trying not to be resentful towards him, I know I can’t let it affect our relationship, but bloody hell its hard.

@ratherbeshowjumping I ride in S London/Kent. Can only jump about 70cm on a good day though so not quite at competition standard unfortunately!

I am such an overthinker- now pregnancy has become something to massively overthink and stress about (and it's not exactly low stress under normal circumstances!)

@smerlin - that's exciting, where are you riding? Horse cuddles are the best way to take your mind off things - think that is a proven fact

@TinselBee it was really lovely. The dream was awful. I dreamt there were frogs all over the kitchen floor then I attacked this girl who was in our house trying to kiss DH - all very gory and very vivid. It only just occurred to me that vivid dreams were the first symptom I had with the last pregnancy but only 4/5dpo I highly doubt it is - very wishful thinking!!

I genuinely don't know how I will deal with the anxiety next time round.

@TinselBee just get suddenly sad every so often which is not great. Absolutely cannot concentrate on work. Only took one day off as physically am obviously ok but it is more of a struggle than I thought it would be.

Being able to start dtd again has helped though as at least I feel like it is now possible to get pg again. Although how I would cope with the anxiety if it happened is anyone's guess

we ended up DTD last night, idk if that was foolish but still no bleeding this morning so taking that as a good sign.

already spent this morning crying to my colleague at work, she's been through this a few times now too sadly. Is kind of nice to have her as a support though

Ratherbe that looks so poetic, glad that was a lovely time for you. Horrid about the dream though. I understand what you mean about being alone, it is certainly then that it all hits more. Really hope you can stay sane this "cycle"

smerlin enjoy your horse cuddles tomorrow! how are you holding up?

So lucky @ratherbeshowjumping

I rode on the beach for the first time earlier this year (school horse not my own sadly) and it was one of the most exhilarating riding experiences I have had.

Have a riding lesson tomorrow and think some horse cuddles are going to be a good way of taking my mind off things.

@TinselBee @Rose68 my bleeding stopped after 3 days & I had spotting for another day or so after. I genuinely thought it would be for longer too but guess it's completely individual.

How's everyone feeling today?
I had a really lovely weekend - went out on Saturday night with the girls & took my horse to the beach to blow out the cobwebs on Sunday (thought I'd show you all a pic as it really was beautiful!).

Trying to keep myself busy... I'm desperately trying to not to symptom spot & have basically convinced myself it's not going to happen this month, so enjoying wine & Saint Agur while I can.

It seems I only get myself down whilst I'm either alone 😩 or tired. I had the weirdest dream last night - really violent - which really scared me. God knows what that was about!!

Rose I'm not bothering wearing a pad as not even anything when wiping? Maybe I'll put something on tomorrow when I go to work just in case then. And maybe we shouldn't DTD tonight then just in case. I am surprised as thought I was to expect at least a weeks bleeding. Wonder if its because I started bleeding a few days prior the surgery anyway though?

@Tinsel... has it stopped properly? My bleeding stopped 24 hours after surgery, but I had brown spotting for 9 or 10 dats after that. It might be sensible to wait a bit longer, but who wants to be sensible.... I think you know your body best xxx

Rachy I suggest being seen by a perinatal MH consultant if you haven't already, they're great at explaining more in depth about drug options when TTC and PG etc. I was never told to directly come off anything, even with my drugs that have been shown to increase chance of MC. It's always up to the patient but options and outcomes very clearly explained. If you want to stay drug free still, I would still suggest seeing a consultant as theyll then be able to push you towards conselling and other therapies quicker which might hopefully help you stay drug free. FX for you xxx

Rose Sorry you've had a tough time, don't apologise for being low. We are all pretty low atm so we are all hear for you to vent as we understand and are a lil community of support. Hope the party was good though and you don't feel too hungover now xx

Bleeding has stopped.... only had the surgery Friday? Does this mean it's safe to jump on DH tonight? We've not DTD for over a month and we have a date night planned

rose I was told I can’t start on anything when PG or TTC. If I was on it I could stay on SSRI’s, but as these I was on weren’t tested in PG I had to come off. I’ve been off 8 weeks now so reluctant to go back on :(

Morning ladies, shit day yesterday... I had an argument with a good friend. She knows what I have just been through and she has barely mentioned it to me. So I was a bit upset about that anyway & then had an argument about something totally unrelated.

DH is ill and grumpy at the moment, and he won’t commit to trying again. So that’s shit too. I’m pretty sure I ovulated late Friday, or maybe early Sat morning. DH wasn’t up for it Friday cause of being ill, but we had dtd lots all week up to Thurs evening. Now I’m hung over after being at a party last night. I know that was a bit silly.

Sorry for being a bit low, I’m trying not to be, but it’s so hard.

Welcome @Rachyrach83, could you ask your doctor if there is anything more suitable you could take? Going cold turkey probably isn’t best for you. I took citalopram for a while when my boys were little and I had to wean myself off very very slowly.

I hope everyone else is doing okay. xxx

I was on meds called valdoxan, it’s a new antidepressant but not tested at all in pregnancy hence being rushed off them.

Yes I do similar things to ease anxiety routine wise at bed-time.
It is horrible being in this hole but now I’m off them I don’t want to get back on them as convinced either being on/coming off them caused some imbalance that ended my pregnancy. X

Blimey that's a lot longer than I thought it would be

Rachy yeah similar to me, on meds for anxiety and psychosis. So diazapam for panic attacks but daily take Duloxetine and Quetiapine. My GP referred me to the perinatal MH consultant as soon as I got my BFP and it was decided i would stay on my meds as there was felt to be more risk to baby if I got myself into an anxiety hole but would have close monitoring, especially with my pregnancy with DS having PPROM. Consultant still wants to see me in the new year to discuss the meds and to discuss alternatives if I get pregnant again too. He's such a nice guy (actually all the Drs in the MH team here are, that I've met anyway). It's tough with anxiety isn't it! I know how you feel with the constant thoughts bombarding you and at times like this it just feels so much worse. If you do decide to stay off them, could you try some non medicated ways to help with anxiety? I do yoga which does help calm me before bed and I also have little routines at bed time like making chamomile tea, brushing my hair and using night cream on my face. These small things help me practice mindfulness which generally helps calm my anxiety before bed.

tinselbee I saw your post about coming off meds... what were these hun?
I was on stong anti-depressants and diazepamand stressed up to the eyeballs and was off sick from work when I got bfp.... dr encouraged I came off them all straight away. Can’t gelp but think a) did being on them when conceiving cause a problem or b) crashing off them when I got bfp cause a problem!! Either way I stayed off them and try to control things on my own now, but struggling with anxiety (obviously!!) especially when can’t tell myself all my worrying was for nothing when it clearly wasn’t 😥

It says you have to start by cycle day 4.... and if cd1 was ERPC day then I’m cycle day 10 now

I've also got that kit. This month I haven't used, just gone off EWCM, but next month if I'm not pregnant (highly likely) I will start again.

I don't see any reason why you couldn't use before your next period?

Rachy I think it's because you'll probably get multiple positive OPK before your first AF from what I've read on other Threads on miscarriage over here. Have you tried BBT charting? That's what I'm starting tomorrow, worked well for me start of our TTC journey.

Thank you ratherbe xx

Thank you for making me welcome.

I’m so sorry for all your losses, but also comforted to see that I’m not in this alone.

Does anyone know if OPK will work this soon after miscarriage??
I got PG without these last time (beginners luck!) so in my grief last week brought the clear blue digital kit... then read you can’t start it until after AF the month after MC..... do normal kits still work if I start now?? Should I wait for low hcg or bfn before testing???

Sorry for all the questions xx

Hi @Rachyrach83 I'm so sorry to see you here. You were due the day before me... I'm glad you've found us though.
We were given the advice to try again, before my first period, but there does seem to be a lot of different information. My DSis was conceived before my mums first AF after her MC - this was 23 years ago - and it was also the advice she was given at the time.
I think it is true that you are most fertile for the 3 months after.

Tinsel, there is absolutely nothing you've done to cause this. I'm sure every single one of us has those "shoulda, woulda, coulda" thoughts but the truth is, 1/4 don't make it. And we were all unlucky enough to be in that awful 25%.

I hope you are feeling ok today? And you too @edidxb xxx

Btw anyone still having symptoms post surgery / post MC? I still can't stomach mince, whether that's raw or cooked in a spag bol or cottage pie! Turns my stomach. Also I'm still oddly obsessed with milky, sweet cups of tea?! Very odd... Hope these aren't my preferences for life now

Thank you edidxb I needed that. Just feel like there's so much going on with me, doesn't help with I conceived my BMI was underweight either probably. I'm gonna start eating healthy and get back up to a good size 10 I think by new year and focus on my fitness too. Might help with my stress too. Would like to come off my meds this time though once I see those 2 lines, my meds are known to have an increase risk of early MC. Good that your research led to positive stories for you. I actually posted on a Facebook group recently about MCs and was so surprised to have well over 100 different women comment on the post with their stories, only a small handful were still trying after their MC with no luck but the positive stories were overwhelming, especially after multiple MC like you said. Certainly hope there. Hope you have a restful day after changing the sheets and enjoy DH being home. Xx