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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

961 replies

Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 09:41

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

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TinselBee · 14/12/2018 10:50

fucking HATE the amount of pregnancy and new born baby related adverts I get now! Anyone know how to help curb that? I did switch off the "parenting" settings on Facebook but I am still getting them on there! too!

TinselBee · 14/12/2018 10:49

Frazzle I didn't want to believe you either tbf, didn't want to think it was going to be bad news for you Sad Think if I had seen that chart though I would have found it hard to see it looking positive but then again plus with hindsight it really does seem if dates are ever behind then it will be bad news. Still tracking the July board and anyone that has been having slow growth / dates ends up with bad news Sad (only positive stories I have seen are when people have no real knowledge of how this whole process works or were not charting / tracking)

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 10:47

@TinselBee I agree with you about @rachy's 30 day cycle and CD12/13 being too early for Ov. So Rachy don't get your hopes up! Just see what happens over the next week or so and keep jumping on DH Smile

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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 10:45

the first sonographer had a look at my chart and said no way would I have ovulated on CD14 as that is too text book for someone with PCOS. He said I would have ovulated later and that was why our baby was measuring so much smaller. He basically suggested that Ovusense was a load of rubbish. But I know it was right, and our last scan proved that baby just was not growing Sad

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TinselBee · 14/12/2018 10:44

Rachy Frazzle could be onto something, rise prior was due to excess pregnancy hormones, then that steep drop is where they have started to drop. But to Ov CD12-13 would be quite early for a 30 day cycle (unless you have an unusually long luteal phase) but then also Ov does tend to happen later post MC too. Tbh temping post MC is new to me, only going from what I have read around it and seen on other threads, does tend to be a totally whacky chart though but will be back to normal post 1st AF.

Frazzle that is great they have your back and know everything. Lovely to work in a team that actually supports you and you can trust with personal life stuff. Maybe try cutting those shots down to 2 haha! I'm sticking to just 1 or ordering hot chocolates now as my usual place, was pretty funny for first few times when I had to quickly say "oh not the usual, hot chocolate today!"

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 10:42

@Rachyrach83 I know we're all different but this was my cycle where we conceived our little one. I think it's a pretty text book cycle so might give you an idea of what happens...

You can see my temps were fairly low and I had a drop just before ovulation, then they elevated with the odd drop (prob implantation) until until BFP (or AF in a non preg cycle).

This chart is what convinced me all my scans were showing bad news, but no one believed me!

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten
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Rachyrach83 · 14/12/2018 10:32

@frazzle

Usually 30 days..... but not a bloody clue about ovulation!
Honestly I was so naive before my MC about all of this!!

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 10:29

@Rachyrach83 (sorry, completely missed your posts) I'm no expert whatsoever (tinsel much better at this than me). But (and don't take my word for this) I am guessing that CD12 was an ovulation dip and you are now in your luteal phase hence the rise again? Pre CD12 was your hormones returning to normal post MC. It's a possibility isn't it? Or maybe, like Tinsel says, your temps are a bit erratic due to MC. What are your cycles usually like, length wise? Do you know which day(s) you usually ovulate?

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Rachyrach83 · 14/12/2018 10:21

@tinsel
Yeah I do stir when he gets up, I always intend to reach over and grab the thermometer but end up snuggling back down in the duvet and nodding back off!

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 10:13

@TinselBee I'm glad you are an expert, I can ask you what is going on Wink You may wish you never told me that!

Yes I am back on the coffee, just one a day though. And no dairy milk, only oat milk - the only alternative I can stomach. I feel a little better since having a coffee but I keep welling up again since my lovely colleague walked in. He asked me how I was and I just shrugged and then asked him how he was. He sent me a private message asking me what's up. So I told him of all my worries today. He responded with the most amazing message, so that has set me off again.
My team at work have supported me so much over the past 2-3 years with each loss, and they know everything. Even the stuff with DP not wanted to TTC and the points we nearly broke up and the severe depression that came with it all. They really have my back, and they were all really excited when I told them we were expecting again at long last. I am very lucky to have them.

Actually, I say one coffee a day, but I have a good 2-3 shots! Confused

I'm so pleased your DH is supportive of you charting despite how he feels about it. It is useful to know when AF is on its way. Mine always comes as a complete surprise and whenever it feels like it, so I do like it for that.

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TinselBee · 14/12/2018 09:57

Rachy When you lay in do you stir at all? If you do wake, even if you keep your eyes closed, when DH gets up then you should take your temp then. Also if you are still getting a BFP on tests (I haven't dared do one actually so night today!) then your body might still be a bit out of whack hence the temps being bit all over the show. Keep at them though, a pattern might be revealed. I know BBT charting isn't that reliable post MC due to hormone levels, same reason OPKs are not that great either before 1st AF

Rachyrach83 · 14/12/2018 09:50

@tinselbee

I’m a complete newbie to bbt ... mine is all over the place!!
What does this chart suggest to you hun??

I try to temp in the same 3hr window but i work shifts I’m up at 6.30 3 days a week as I work and do the stepkids school run and get a lie in till around 8.30/9 on other days when I’m on late shifts as the DH does the school run..... I’m currently CD16 (16 days post ERPC) and still getting bfp on test. (Hcg was 194 on Monday)... been DTD last few nights just in case but I feel like I’m a million miles from ovulation!!

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten
TinselBee · 14/12/2018 09:39

Frazzle that is why i gave up BBT charting after half a year of doing it. DH pointed out I was going crazy every day with over looking at every temp drop and panicking if I didnt sleep in the same way for the same length in similar conditions and I would be so pissed if I didnt get a chance to temp too! He isnt happy I am doing it this cycle but he says he understands wanting a heads up AF is on her way. I did become somewhat a bit of an expert though, was in a thread called the Nutty TTCers at the time and half the group were so clued up and taught me a lot about BBT charting

Have you managed to calm down a bit now you are more settled into the office? You back on the coffee btw? I am really struggling to resist it (as it is my love) but think it is probably better to stay off it anyway?

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 09:34

Thanks @TinselBee . Wow, that is a very low temp. Get on it I say!
My temp keeps dropping and is finally where it was pre-ovulation in my pregnancy cycle - that was the first one I had tracked so I don't know if I have a 'normal' cycle. PCOS could throw anything in. Ovusense is telling me I'm in my fertile window but this is based on one cycle so we are just BDing (I hate that term!) every other day if we can.
36.16 was my lowest temp pre ov in my last cycle. Today I am 36.33. I'm trying very hard to to read into it too much. I went nuts in my last cycle trying to analyse every temp and compare to others online. Especially as my temp increased after ovulation. I wonder if my anxiety around it didn't help with the pregnancy...

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TinselBee · 14/12/2018 09:13

Morning Frazzle So sorry you have had a tough morning already. Not surprised that sitting next to a pregnant woman got you started in a roll ball of emotions. I also totally understand what you mean by the religious stuff. It is hard for me to not find people’s kind words irritating as to me too. Hope your day gets brighter as it goes on.

Enjoy your holiday edidxb ! Sounds like a wonderful treat to enjoy after everything. At least it isn’t genetics I guess and I hope you get lucky soon or at least are given some solutions for TTC successfully.

Welcome awakeatnight I am sory you have had to join us here but glad you have us at least. Totally not wrong way of looking at whats happened btw, probably a rather natural and common response xx

smerlin bloody hope you are lucky again without chance to use it much!

Day has started off okay for me, only a half day and I am going to attempt to get my hair cut with DS in tow! Really hope he lets me get it done as its been about half a year. Hoping to finaly put the xmas decs up this weekend as the living room should hopefully be at least painted with furniture in (floor will have to wait till new year now). We had hoped to get it done by start of Dec but with everything that happened we weren’t motivated.

Btw, temp dropped again this morning… only 36.10! That doesn’t usually happen until day before I Ov but I cant imagine that will be tomorrow as that be far too early! Gonna try and DTD tonight though just in case

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 14/12/2018 08:43

Morning,

Today is proving difficult.
I thought it would be a good day as I managed to get a parking space really close to the station - usually have a good 5-10 minute walk. I was like "today is starting well!"

Then, on the train, I looked to my right at the woman who had just sat down. She was wearing a 'Baby on Board' badge. She undid her coat and her bump was the same size mine was.
It was really hard to hold back the tears and I tried really hard to focus on the series I'm watching on my phone. But I couldn't help but keep looking over at her and wishing so hard that was me.
Then all these worries started, scared that my stupid PCOS will stop me getting pregnant, or my eggs are shit and old. Scared I'll go back to that state I was in for all that time when DP refused to TTC. Scared that they will tell us at the RMC that DP and I are completely incompatible and we have no hope of ever holding our Rainbow.

Then I had flashbacks to the day we found out Popsy had gone, and remembered something DP said when we were trying to discuss the best way forward regarding surgery or not. He said something like "It is your decision". When I said "It's your baby too", he responded with "Not anymore it isn't".
I don't know why this bothers me so much, as it is up to him how he feels, but it really upsets me. I feel like our baby only has me now, not that they are here, but in memory, you know?

Then as I was deep in thought walking to the office from the station , I must have slowed right down as some twat barge passed me and nearly knocked me flying and didn't turn around to apologise. It felt very deliberate. and that was it, I've been in tears ever since, and now sat at my desk writing this and sniveling. The ironic thing is I'm wearing my jolly xmas jumper - I feel and look so pathetic.

Oh and a lovely woman commented on my blog and wrote such a heartfelt message, but I just felt rage as she was banging on about god and angels and stuff which I am categorically against, being atheist, and I am so tired of people shoving their beliefs down my throat everytime we lose a baby. I know they mean well, but it bugs me that people make assumptions in order to find words that they think will help.
I want to scream at them sometimes. Even close friends who were never religious before, tell me our babies are looking over us and are in heaven - these are people who know how much I despise religion. A couple of friends even told me they were shocked that it happened to us again because they prayed for us all the time.

I'm sorry if any of you are religious and this offends you, it just pains me and I've had this for so long now.

I hope you're all having a better day than me and sorry for the rant xx

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awakeatnight · 14/12/2018 08:20

Thanks all for the kind welcome. I wish none of us needed to be here but thank you @Frazzlerock for bringing people together to support each other.

@Frazzlerock my baby will get investigations done too. The EPU nurse called it something other than a post mortem but i guess that's what it is.

They told me yesterday that my 'insides' all appear fine. Apparently they give you a quick once over every time you're scanned but don't really mention it to you. So my notes from my daughter, 2 scans with my first mmc and then today have never shown up any problems there so that's a relief straight off the bat.

@edidxb Sounds like a fab and well timed holiday! Shame you won't make it home though. What's Christmas in Dubai like?

Interested in the vitamins - I'll need to scroll down and read that. I was seeing a fertility reflexologist who put me on iodine and I was also taking pregnacare max. She also recommended N-Acetyl L-Carnitine but i never got any as it was £!

Good luck with the fertility monitor @smerlin ! I was using cheap opk and had been BBT/ temping since August which I think I will continue again now. The monitor/ CB sticks give you slightly more of a heads up though don't they?

smerlin · 13/12/2018 20:50

Hello all quick check in. Sorry to find you here @awakeatnight but hope you'll find it super-supportive as we all are. Hope your holiday goes well @edidxb!

Have just received eBay Clearblue fertility monitor through post which will start using as soon as AF arrives. Last time I was TTC and fell pregnant before I could even use it so here's hoping it is some kind of lucky charm for sticky babies.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 13/12/2018 17:12

*hear not here

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Original poster
Frazzlerock · 13/12/2018 17:07

@Rose68 re aspirin, my consultant back in 2016 prescribed me aspirin with progesterone. I'm pretty sure he said to take aspirin while TTC but I have read lots of things about not taking it until BFP so I waited.
I'm glad things will be slightly easier while your boys are home. I also like the holidays as I get to WFH. What line of work are you thinking of getting into?
I hope the panto was fun! We've not booked one this year which is a first for us, but they can be quite pricey and we've booked to go to a xmas outdoorsy thing this weekend. My mum usually books us all tickets to one of the London ones but she's not mentioned it this year and I don't like to ask!

@TinselBee apparently the Vit D Spray is absorbed better than any other method. Oh poor you having a tear up. I did that today during DS2's KS2 xmas concert. It's just all so emotional when we've been through so much. I'm not a cryer (or never used to be), but anything sets me off. How are you now?

@awakeatnight I'm so sorry for you. I've also just had my third MC so going through the RMC. I wasn't put on a list though. I had to get my GP tpo refer me, then she gave me a print out with a code on. I then went online and booked myself an appointment. But it's not until 20th Feb. I've no idea what to expect. Our baby has been sent off for genetic testing. DP has just reminded me they told us it will take at least 21 days.
Like you, I feel like I've coped better with this one. We also set ourselves up for bad news, despite also trying to be very positive. Our first one was a real car crash moment. I was a mess for a very very long time.

@edidxb I hope you have a wonderful time. Man, you deserve it! I am amazed at the testing. It is good news there is nothing sinister wrong with your babies, but I understand that makes you wonder what on earth is going on.

@Rachyrach83 If it helps, I have bought Bee Propolis which is 500mg and H&B brand

Next door's baby was crying again last night as we were going to sleep. I think I've mentioned before that they seem to leave the poor little thing to 'cry it out' which clearly doesn't work. It breaks my heart and he cries most nights for what seems like ages. I desperately want to give him a cuddle Sad. DP told me this morning that he could here his mum shout at him last night, he is no more than 5 months old and is clearly in pain.
DP said he understands why she did it and that she is probably at her wits end, but I can't help feeling so angry that she has this beautiful baby (her third child, all under 5/6 years old - not one MC as she has told me) and she sounds so ungrateful, when I've been desperate for nearly 3 years and my beautiful babies keep dying. It just seems so fucked up and unfair.
But she is honestly such a nice person, and the family are lovely so I should be kind to her. I just can't bear it though Sad

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Rachyrach83 · 13/12/2018 16:11

Also @rose68
What’s the bee pollen you are taking?
What are the benefits and what’s the dose??

edidxb · 13/12/2018 14:00

Hi all, this is probably my last message for the next two weeks as I am lucky enough to be going on holiday tomorrow. I am off to the Caribbean on a cruise......which is a long old journey from the Middle East starting at 2.30am with my first flight tomorrow. But I'll grit my teeth and get through it until I get there!

I will be back, and hopefully when I am back, everyone will be feeling loads better and have all had a very Merry Christmas. We are having Christmas here in Dubai which is a shame as I miss home but I am back to work on 27th Dec.

I went back to work today for one day and survived. Cried in front of my boss but thankfully she was very nice.

Thanks all for the vitamin and supplement information. I was taking Vit D and pregnacare andCoEQ10 before so have still got those. I will research into the getting some of the others in the new year.

I went to the doctor today for a week checkup and all seems to be OK. The doctor had the results back from the hospital and there was no genetic issues in the tissue so that's good (kind of). I also had the tests done after the first miscarriage and it was also OK. Which is good that there are no issues, but doesn't help understanding why it happened. I am lucky in Dubai that they test each time.

The doctor has asked me to come back in Feb for the blood testing to check for the clotting/stickiness of blood. You have to wait at least 8 weeks for all the hormones to leave the system. And if that comes back with nothing, I will do the genetic testing.

But in the meantime, we will try again..

Sorry for the lack of personal responses, but I wanted to reply before I left for holiday. I still have lots of packing to do upstairs before we leave for the airport in a bit.

Lots of love to you all.
xxxxxxx

awakeatnight · 13/12/2018 12:23

Hi ladies, I was very much a lurker on the July antenatal Board but I hope that it's still ok to join you here. I had a reassurance scan this morning at what should have been 10+5. There was no heartbeat and the baby measured around 17mm so made it to about 8 weeks. This is my third mc (MMC in April baby was 10 weeks, CP around 5 weeks in August and now this) so I'm now on the waiting list for RMC - could be up to three months. Has anyone else been through several Miscarriages and the RMC that could give me the low down on what tests etc to expect there and if there's anything particular i should push for?

Maybe it's not sunk in yet but i don't feel quite so decimated this time round. I think I'd programmed myself to expect bad news rather than good today and never let myself fall in love with this baby. Is that wrong?

xx

TinselBee · 13/12/2018 11:11

Morning all!

Frazzle what if you phone and ask when you can expect the results rather than as a chase as such? Actually I'm taking Vit D too, haven't heard of it as a spray before though?

Rose I think they're considering it as a factor as the stress it caused me and the dates of stopped growth match the date of the car crash. Glad you feel calmer today. What would you consider doing if you worked for yourself?

I cried in middle of the shops today... oops. Aww a million new borns round town and then it was a school choir that hit me with the final blow of emotion. Hopefully people will just think I was crying with pride haha.

Rachyrach83 · 13/12/2018 09:42

@rose68
I understand being cautious
The antidepressant I was on was a massive synthetic dose of melatonin (agmelatone) 25mg and so I thought 3mg isn’t scary to me and reads well when it comes to fertility benefits in low doses xx

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