The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

@BettySwoll0cks don't! I will download it and end up with thousands of them

@Rose68 I know the feeling, I would love DP to start taking conception supplements but terrified it will be seen as 'pressure'. That's also why I am a bit nervous to admit to him I have Pre-Seed in my bedside drawer. I actually used it the other night but DP didn't seem in the mood so it was wasted and, actually, it turns out I wasn't ovulating anyway so that's 2 reasons not to use it! Lets hope that both of us fall pregnant again before either of them change their minds

@ratherbeshowjumping I would say definitely yes. But I do think that if you don't have PCOS then might be just as good to get cheap basal body thermometer and use free version of FF.
The reason I like Ovusense is because it measures your core temp and records temp overnight so there is no worrying about making sure it's taken at the same time every morning. You even have 2 hours after you take it out to sync it. It's a clever little thing. You also get a free consultation with one of their experts, though I didn't get to use mine as I conceived on the first cycle of using it - another reason I rave about it, given my long history of TTC

Maybe try the cheapy for a couple of cycles (you may not need to wait that long!). If still not preg, or temps all over the place, then give Ovusense a go. I found a discount code and ordered the pay as you go option. You pay for the device, and get first month free. Then £20 per month. Or you can pay for a year which works out a lot cheaper in the long run, but how negative would you have to be to think you'll need it for a year? Man, I hope not!

@TinselBee Oh I deffo got preg symptoms at every cycle. Drove me nuts - The metal mouth was the worst. I had to get checked out as I couldn't work out why I got it in the last two weeks of every cycle.
But nothing could be found wrong. I know it happens when I get low in iron (regularly) but it is always in the TWW. So metal mouth as well as other things like dry mouth, which I also get in pregnancy, appear in every TWW. I swear my body hates me.

@Rose68 I hear you. It is so easy to feel like all hope has gone. Has your DH said anything more about TTC? Or is he just carrying on with not using protection and you just don't talk about it? It's such a horrid time not knowing whether they will pull the plug at any point

@TinselBee I don't think I'll bother paying for FF. I pay £20 a month for the privilege of Ovusense and I also use Flo and now the free version of FF. Maybe I should start paying more attention to signs and symptoms for FF. But then I wonder if it is worth noting these things. For instance, I've had a headache for four days now but I think it is probably down to no caffeine. I guess if I note it down, I can see if the same thing happens next cycle. Right, you've convinced me to write things down - sorry garbled brain dump right there

yup, we've not done Christmas cards for the same reasons regarding announcements. I was going to write from the bump too, but now it just doesn't seem right and I won't be feeling 'in the spirit' enough to write well meaning messages.

@ratherbeshowjumping I also find it hard to motivate myself, we didn't really want to do anything at the weekend, just lounge around on the sofa, but we forced ourselves.

Now I'm nervous about DP's surprise birthday lunch. I have avoiding his family as there has been a few babies born over the three years we've had losses. but the only ones I go to someone bloody announces their pregnancy an I'm terrified someone will do the same this time. I've no reason to believe anyone will, I just worry because this was supposed to be our time for good news.
I'm organising the whole thing and I really feel like saying "If anyone is planning to announce anything, please don't!" - but that would be crazy. His family already think I'm mental for struggling all this time

Anyway, I am so sorry you're all struggling so much. I wasn't meant to be this way and we don't deserve this pain.

I hope so much in a few months time we all get to change this group into an ante natal group, an a super lucky one at that.

@ratherbeshowjumping I'm so pleased you had a lovely time in Prague. I'd love to go. We are off to Berlin in Jan, I bought tickets for DP for his birthday so hell find out on Sunday. Sorry your flight was delayed.
Oh we were so close in due date. I should be 12 weeks on Sunday. Feels so shit doesn't it. Our scan should have been on Thursday and big announcement on Sunday at DP's surprise birthday lunch

@TinselBee Oh that is interesting. My pain was on the right side, I was convinced it must be ov pain especially as Ovusense had predicted my fertile window at that time. But then the window vanished so I guess it was just nothing. I also had a spike after drinking heavily. Mine was on CD11 which, interestingly, was a day before your spike. I knew it was drinking though as that was the day after our big night out in London and I felt rotten.
You're really good at marking down all your signs and symptoms. Do you pay for FF? What is included in the paid for version?

@smerlin Rose suggested I avoid caffeine as it's bad for our older eggs. I just wanna do everything I can to keep my eggs as healthy as possible as they are now approaching 40 like me. I do wonder if the past 3 years of MCs is linked to my age

Is anyone struggling with all xmas stuff?
everything sets me off thinking i should be doing this with my Popsy bump. Like our trip to Bedgebury last night, I became so emotional afterwards as I booked the tickets when I was pregnant and expected to be carrying around my lovely bump. And just listening to xmas music, I just think how happy I would have been. I feel like everything is tainted.
I had about 7 weeks of knowing I was pregnant and, although they were nerve wracking, I was the happiest I have been in a long time. And now I'm back to being miserable and forcing smiles.

My FF chart and Ovusense

Good morning all,

First a catch up as I've been AWOL for the weekend due to all sorts of pre-xmas things going on.

@ProseccoBee I'm so sorry for you. This is such a rough and unfair ride, but you should find this lot helpful.

@TinselBee wow that chart of yours! I understand you still have hormones floating about but why such a random large increase? I don't understand any of this. I'm too scared to take a test. I will be miserable either way so will just leave it for now while my temps seem to be doing 'normal' things. BTW, I wouldn't stop temping, it might be interesting to see what happens to your temps while you're in this limbo?

@smerlin What's with the cramping? And how is it today? I agree with Tinsel to get it checked out if it is that bad. Or call 111?

@Rachyrach83 Not sure about your chart. As I've said, I'm still learning and I've only just installed FF so using both Ovusense and FF now - just to give myself more of a headfuck FWIW, I don't think I've ever had EWCM and have had 5 pregnancies so I'm not sure you need it? The only time I get it is when I'm a bit horny round DP but even then it isn't every time.

This weekend we've been pretty busy. Saturday I treated myself to a full leg and bikini wax and finally feel like a human again, despite already being skint, I am now more skint but I needed some sort of pampering and I couldn't bear looking like a gorilla any longer.

Then I had my friend's 40th birthday party. I am still freaked out that all my close friends are now turning 40 - the ones I've known since I was a child. It's just so weird! Then I remember it will be my 40th next June . I've always said I am not a grown up yet and waiting for that moment to hit where I am just as 'grown up' as everyone else. Then this party made me realise even more how young I feel (despite being the same age).My friend (who is lovely btw and comes from a pretty humble background) married into a wealthy family so her children go to private school and their social circles are all very 'well to do', in a nice way, they're all lovely. But the party just felt very 'grown up' you know? Like it was supposed to be casual but everyone was really well turned out and clearly had expensive 'casual' clothes on and just looked immaculate. DP and I just felt a bit uncomfortable which was entirely our own insecurities. They had a catering company in serving sushi and champagne and, while it was lovely, it just wasn't 'our thing', you know? I felt like we wouldn't have had anything in common with the other guests. Plus with everything going on for us it was hard to socialise with people we don't know and force smiles.

Anyway, we made it through. Sunday we had lunch with DP's Dad and Step-mum which was really nice.
Then we went to Bedgebury to see the Christmas lights in the evening. It's a National Trust park and it had been done up beautifully. We were caught in the rain the whole time but it was still spectacular and really christmassy.

@Rose68 I have listened to what you've said and I am now strictly on de-caff coffee.

For the charting peeps, I will post my chart, it isn't very exciting though. My 'predicted fertile window' had disappeared.