The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

@Rachyrach83 she's 66 ffs. It's not like I didn't say "happy anniversary" either - we took them for dinner last night and she told me in great detail all about the MOST beautiful baby her next door neighbors just had.

I didn't like the post because I've unfollowed her as she's does exactly the same 🙈 constant updates "life is just so unfair" cue the "what's wrong?" "Pm me xx" & the obligatory "share if you like the sunshine" posts 😫

Lol fab idea.... "share if your MIL is a bit of a twat..." 🙈

That's really frustrating!! FWIW I think I ov'd on day 17 as opposed to day 12/13. My cycles are usually set your watch 24 days but am currently on 30 with no sign of AF.

Oh god @rather!!
Bloody Facebook! How old is she??!!

My ex MIL was one of these who believed 'liking and sharing' everything would either a) make you win it or b) stop a kitten dying or some other crap!! So I blocked her!! That caused a massive row too!

Post a 'pain in the arse mother-in-law' meme and see if she likes that!!

On a seperate note .... I'm STILL getting negative OPKs..... day 23 surely it should be coming soon?? I've tested everyday since around day 15 and I'm thinking I'm not ovulating at all this cycle. I just hope AF turns up soon to reset me :(

Sending hugs @TinselBee that's really shit. I hope despite everything, you have a nice night tonight.

I've had a really shit afternoon. Test came back as clearer than day BFN. DH thinks we still have "hope" this cycle. It's a FRER so I am very doubtful.

We've just had a massive, massive argument. I'm sat in the kitchen, he's sat in the lounge.
All because MIL said how upset she was that I didn't like her post on FB 😡 & DH asked me if I could just like her stuff to keep the peace.

1. I'll like what I want to like, as & when
2. I get the time to actually sit on FB

Time to get some gin out. Happy fucking Christmas 🤷🏽‍♀️

Oh Buggles I am so so so sorry to read you've had to join us but welcome and glad you've found us for company.

So I'm sitting in a car park trying to find courage to face my sister and her newborn at my grandads birthday meal... this is after having my work Xmas lunch with the lady on mat leave being there and no one warned her I had a MC (last time she saw me I told her I was PG) so that was awkward and yet she continued to talk about how amazing new born baby life is and how she loves that her family of 5 is now complete. Etc etc.

Welcome @Buggles1 and sorry for your loss. Hopefully we will all have sticky babies in 2019! [santa][santa][santa]

Oh and absolutely @frazzlerock you’ve done an amazing job with these threads and I’m amazed by how you manage to keep up with everything. I wish I could be so on the ball!

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the support and comfort we can give each other.
I honestly thought getting to the magic 12 weeks meant I was clear, even though I had nagging feelings about loss of pregnancy symptoms etc.

On a more positive and looking forward note... I read a lot from you all about how to improve egg quality. My brain was trying to fight all sorts of emotions while reading the last 16 pages and so many products were mentioned that I got a bit lost! Can anyone recommend suppliements that could possibly improve viability?
Thanks again for the support X

Oh @buggles I'm so so sorry to see you here. You were due the day after me
@Frazzlerock has done an outstanding job in creating this thread. I think we've all ranted, worried, questioned and even celebrated tiny successes here. As hard as it is, this thread has kept me sane during the darkest 4 weeks (to the day) of my life.

I hope you're OK as you can be, and you're being looked after at home. Sending lots and lots of love to you. We are all here when you're ready to rant/cry/talk xxxx

Hi @buggles.
Being here is completely s**t but very helpful to feel there is somewhere to turn when you have a question, a worry or just a rant.
The ladies welcomed me and have been my salvation in last few weeks. (And are a wealth of knowledge!!)
I had erpc too (but without any natural passage) at 9 weeks. That was 22 days ago now.
I’m 35 and ttc number 1 too, so I can know what you are feeling right now.
Hope you are ok and we can help pick you up a bit when you are ready for that.
Until then wallow, cry, scream and sulk. You deserve it xxxx

@buggles. Welcome, but so sorry you’re here with us! Totally heartbreaking isn’t it? Especially I think getting so close to the aupppsed “safe zone” of 12 week scan. I feel your heartbreak and share it. Totally sucks! Hope you’re being well looked after at home x

Hello everyone,

I was due on 6th July but with much sadness in my heart I’m here to join you all. I started bleeding one day before our 12 wk scan and was immediately sent to the EPU. Sadly our little bump didn’t make it past 9 weeks.

I elected to have surgery but it took two days to admit me. I had about 4 hours of contractions and heavy bleeding the day before going in. I didn’t manage to pass the foetus though so still had to have the surgery.

This is the second MC in a row and I’m 39, almost 40, trying for our first child. I feel like time is running out and I also didn’t realise the sense of emptiness I’d feel post op. I guess after 12 weeks of getting used to being pregnant it makes sense to then feel pretty empty afterwards.

It’s taken me a while to catch up on the last 16 pages but reading all your experiences is incredibly helpful. I feel somewhat calmer knowing I’m not alone. You’re a lovely bunch of ladies and I hope we all have better outcomes next time around. X

You're right he is just probably struggling in his own way. But he always does this when there is a crisis of sorts - goes into stressy useless mode because he doesn't know what to do - which means I have to kick back into action to deal w everything and I never get the chance to rest or recover.

Fwiw I think I'm just going to ignore this current "cycle" and wait until I've had my next AF before I think about trying again. Get this out of my system and try to understand a little bit where my body is at. I think it would do my head in a bit trying to guess what's happening symptoms wise (plus I can't imagine ever wanting to DTD again....)

Aww @Betty hope you're ok. He does sound like he's being a massive arse. No excuses, but hopefully this is just his way of dealing with it. When I first mc'd, my DH had a massive go at me about something of nothing (apologised profusely after....!!!) think it's just their way of coming to terms with what's going on. Again, certainly not right though. Sorry to hear you're bleeding so much too

Thanks Tinsel, I know I need to man up and just go and get a test. I just can't shake the feeling that AF is going to arrive imminently and I can't bear the thought of seeing just one single lonely line.

Frazzle Yeah that is a confusing way FF has shown the dates actually! And yeah I noticed that too, wonder if it where I have a new thermometer ? or maybe we live in new house? or is now winter? Either way, I think it shows that maybe we cant be too reliant to comparing temps from cycle to cycle? That blue line was actually the one where I did fall pregnant and have the CP so maybe that is a good sign actually!! Oh no, now you have me hoping that my body be prime for implanting this time.

Sorry you have also had that horrid time too Frazzle. I think it is so important we all are open about how we feel because I honestly think I might not have tried to end my life if I felt like I could be open about it. Which is why I am rather open about it now, in case anyone else is struggling and feel like they cant talk.

Rather i feel for you! Was hoping you would have AF or a BFP by now so you wouldnt have to deal with AF or the wondering over Xmas day!

Betty he really does sound like he is being such a dick. I am sorry. He really doesnt sound like he knows how to deal with his emotions at all nor understand the exact pain and bleeding you are going through! Is there anyway you can talk to him later about it all? When my DH is being like that I find later on when I open up about how he made me feel by being like that but also understand he is going through a lot too he often realises what an arse he has been.

@betty
Men can be arseholes sometimes
Mine was the same bumping his gums about taking the kids to school 5days after my op as I’d started clotting after I had told him he was ok to leave me (because I was just spotting)- and they aren’t even my kids!!
I gave him a good dose of the f**ks and it it him straight. Maybe yours needs that too! X

Got a couple of little tattoos, I mean

Morning all, I'm loving all the tattoo talk. I've got a couple of little ones but nothing to represent my lost little ones. I'm going to have a think about that!

Thanks for all your messages last night. I've had a terrible night on the couch (too much blood to lie down) with lots of cramping and bleeding but no big clots or anything yet. That's ok - the process has started so I'm confident it will all resolve itself.

DH is being a bit of an a*hole this morning. He's making it very clear what an inconvenience it all is that he needs to look after DS for a morning and is being really horrible and impatient with him. He must've made DS (2.5yrs) cry half a dozen times getting ready to out and do a few jobs together. To the point I said "oh FFS just leave him with me" but DH said that he's being so demanding (?) I'm not up to looking after him, it's a "total nightmare" having to take him but he'll have to. So anyway, I'm steeling myself to go and get in the shower, take some painkillers, fill my handbag with maxi pads and go collect DS to take him for brunch. I literally can't stand hearing him being upset

oh Tinsel I'm so sorry you've had such a rough ride. I think a tattoo about moving on would be lovely. After our first mc almost 2 years ago, DH & I got matching tattoos of a little pair of feet. Mine is on my ankle, his is on his chest. They're really tiny, and usually I hate matching tattoos, but it does remind me of the little bean. Thinking of getting a heart drawn around it to represent the little one we've just lost.

Still no sign of AF, just a cold out in full force. I'm absolutely terrified to do a test. I don't feel pregnant at at all apart from sore boobs and am still feeling a bit crampy, so would be surprised if I am, but where is AF....! I've had AF symptoms for the past week now.

Had to bloody search back on an old thread for it Frazzle as I stopped temping after that month, it is when I had a CP and I really just felt I was getting too obsessed with charting. haha. And thank you btw, did notice your comment, thankfully it was a few years ago now and I am very much out of the situation that got me that low.

Rachy That is a lovely idea actually and I do love rainbows, could also represent the crap I had to go through growing up as Bisexual.

@tinsel maybe you should wait for your rainbow and then cover the scars with something to represent that - a real sign of light out of darkness?

6 months into marriage I can pretty much persuade the DH to dtd everyday for a week or so....
I think I’ve written off this ‘cycle’ as a no go with how all over the place it’s been.
AF would be here on 28th if a 28 day cycle so probably be later but then it’s a go go for new year, my digital opk kit and getting to it properly x