The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

Sorry..... it’s Cd26, not 24

Hey ladies
Early early morning and the DH snoring which is OFF THE SCALE with his cold keeping me awake :(
Dtd last night and the ‘wipeage’ was blood tinged..... just been for a wee and had blood on wiping too..... I think AF is here!! CD24.... that’s really really early. Aren’t cycles generally longer after MC?? Only had bfn a week ago??

@tinsel I wouldn’t mind if he was genuinely ill..... but he had the energy to go out to his friends house last night to watch the boxing and drink and roll in at 3am.... so my sympathy is pretty much lacking this morning!!
He’s just generally being a knob. It’s days like these I enjoy being able to go .... enjoy the day with your kids... I’m off out!! Lol

Ah why does the world end when they're ill ey Rachy ? DH is the same. Tbf, I get not wanting to DTD if you feel like total crap but you gotta at least ask them when it is such a science to catch the right time!

@tinsel that’s wonderful!! Get at it!

Mines still laughably negative.... good job really as DH being an arsehole with his mild cold and refusing to do anything and says I’m unreasonable for wanting to dtd while he is feeling ill.
I just don’t think men get that it’s not as simple as ‘we can just do it when I’m better!’ Xx

Good morning all.

Just a reminder that don't pop to Tescos on the Sunday before Xmas for just some milk! Was bloomin crazy in there. Plus I stupidly forgot my purse so had to use the Emergency Cash Withdrawal from my bank app. Then after that I filled up my car but forgot I didn't have my purse to pay!!!! So had to explain that I needed to withdraw cash back from the bank to pay! Was so fricking awkward.

Now I've got a killer headache that's got me contained to the couch. DH is being miserable, doesn't understand how bad my headaches are or my anxiety in situations like earlier.

Anyway. Positive news. Just got a +OPK!

Well the doctor at the EPU told me the other day it's almost certainly just a factor of my age and there is nothing anyone can do, and I've had 3 losses! And that was without knowing anything at all about my circumstances (except that I'm an ancient 38 years of age). So that really does seem to be the prevailing attitude

It definitely sounds like something to speak to GP / consultant about for those who have suffered more than 1 loss.
This was my first so I know ill be told it’s ‘just bad luck’ this time but I’ll definitely keep it in mind!!

Rachyrach83 that's so interesting. I wonder how it works to prevent miscarriage. The article talks about it helping with foetal lung development but it must do more than that.

TinselBee glad you got your BFN. Hopefully you'll get your BFP soon.

Buggles1 sorry you're here as well. It's shit and there seem to be loads of us from July 2019.

Rose68 100% not true! My DH is one of three boys and they all loved and needed their mum so much (she died last year). I think the relationship between mother / son and mother / daughter can be different as of course a son doesn't go through the same shared experiences that a daughter might (not first hand anyway) but that doesn't mean the relationship is any less special or loving. I always thought I wanted girls as I'd bought into the "a daughter is a daughter for life" myth but seeing my husbands very strong relationship with his mum totally changed my mind and I'd honestly be happy with either a boy or a girl.

Frazzle sorry your chart has gone a bit flat. It could be a good sign that your temperatures have stabilised a bit though, shows your hormones are getting back to normal? The two BFPs I've had were preceded by very flat temperatures. I know what you mean about the "would MC there again". The only positive for us of this experience is its lead to us finding a Dr we really like and trust.

Loving all the tattoo ideas!

I'm in Malaysia and pay for private health care (there is government but its a bit rubbish). Care really varies from Dr to Dr but we seem to have found someone we like who is UK educated and used to work in London. The hospital she works at isn't the fanciest but it's good enough, reminded me a bit of the NHS!

I'm also v excited about the tattoo idea! Keep thinking about it ha ha. Frazzle thanks for the link to the tattooist, she does some beautiful detail work. To be honest for a really good artist I would expect a long waiting list so I'd travel. And would also work on the design with the artist but I love the idea of those little birds flying away to freedom... and also the Bob Marley lyrics ... "every little thing is gonna be alright" 😘

Interesting about that drug Rachy, shame it doesn't really explain how it helps but it does say that the women in the trial had perfectly formed healthy looking babies that just died. Well that's certainly not my case sadly, mine don't seem to develop properly in the first place 😭 God I wish there was a miracle pill though.

I hope everyone is managing to feel at least a bit Christmassy. I've done nearly all my prep, and my sister is coming tonight which is lovely. But I just realised I'm going to run out of the enormous great maxi sanitary towels I'm cheerfully piling through so I'm going to have to brave the shops again with DS this morning, aaaaaarrrrggggjhh!!

I am CD32 according to 1st day of bleeding but not going to test- will try to sit on hands and not test unless I get any symptoms as my cycle length is variable at the best of times let alone after mc. Also not temping so have no idea when I ovulated although DTD on the days I thought were likely.

Thank you ladies, I wish some people would think before opening their big mouths.

@Buggles1 I am so sorry you find yourself here, but welcome to our lovely group and thank you for your words above. I didn’t have any problems with blurred vision.

@Rachyrach83 wow! Should we be getting this drug?

Wow that sounds incredible @Rachyrach83! I wonder how long the larger trial will take.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/thirteen-pound-pill-save-thousands-13770280.amp

Ladies have a read of this!!!!

@Frazzlerock that's really shit. I've heard it can take an AF to kickstart ovulation, as rubbish as it sounds 😢

@smerlin I was told to count from first day of bleeding too. I had a natural mc so sounds the same as yours? I'm on cd 31 now with awful cramps but no af. Usually 24 days spot on. Where are you up to now?

Love your positivity @Rachyrach83 💪🏼

@Rose68 I don't think that's true at all. My cousin (20) is currently doing a year abroad studying in Lyon & FaceTimes his DM daily, they're really close. Dh & bil are also much closer to mil than Sil is. And on the contrary, my Dsis & my dm fight like cat & dog. It's just people & personalities I think x

One more question... have any of you suffered with blurred vision at all? My right eye seems to have become very short sighted over the last few weeks and I’m not sure if it can be put down to pregnancy at all. I did a quick internet search and it said about fluid retention possibly being an issue so I’m hoping it’ll fix itself over the next couple of weeks.

That’s amazing. Thanks for all the info. I’ll have a dig around the links etc now. @frazzlerock you must be rattling!
@rose68 if my brother is anything to go by then I’d have to totally disagree with what they are telling you. Of two girls and one boy he was absolutely Mummy’s little boy and this extended far after he left home! I think it’s more to do with how you bring them up, boy or girl, and letting them know where their home will always be if and when they need it.
@BettySwoll0cks that tattoo is lovely.

I think for a first time mum to be there is a lack of support out there. The gp and EPU staff etc are so close to what they do that they forget you are clueless. Even simple things like where the hell you’re supposed to report to in the various hospitals etc isn’t readily forthcoming.
It’s all made so much harder by all the secracy around not telling anyone until 12 weeks as well. I feel like we have to suffer all the pain alone so we don’t hurt anyone else’s feelings. When selfishly I want everyone to know how upset and disfunctional I feel at the moment. Rather than having to put on the perfect Xmas and entertain everyone.
I guess I should stop moaning, suck it in and get on with wrapping presents... but I just can’t be arsed... oh boy.

Oh Frazzle I think it did seem like it might disappear though basing it on your previous chart? Annoying though! Hope you get a nice clear fertile window soon.

Yeah Rachy I had the ERPC. HCG levels dropping depends on how much you had to start with, how quick your body realises what's happened (and if there is anything retained).

Smerlin AF can return anywhere between 4 to 6 weeks in average. It's why I'm back to charting so I am not caught short!

Rose so not true. My DH is very close to his parents and his 32 year old brother still lives at home! My step-dad still sees his mum all the time too and really values her advice.

Someone said to me yesterday that boys don’t need their Mums when they are grown up, when they leave home they are gone. You can’t have the same relationship with a boy as you can with a girl. Do you guys think this is true? Tbh it has upset me a bit. 😥

Morning Ladies, I seem to be so busy at the moment entertaining my boys and getting ready for Christmas. I am still here even if I’m not posting much.
@Tinsel, I’m so sorry for everything you have been through.
@Betty I hope the mm wasn’t too bad and you are recovering now.

I asked about hcg monitoring at the start of my pregnancy, but was firmly told no. The epu were lovely and I got my erpc the next day. They were lovely at the hospital too. @Frazzle, I could have written something similar re mc again to go back, they were so lovely.

I don’t have much news, AF has pretty much finished. I am trying to do femoral massage on myself, DH was doing it before but I can’t ask him to do it because that would be ‘too much pressure’. I’m counting down the days to ovulation, but I’m still eating bad things and having the occasional few drinks 😨

Right that’s it!
I’m not obsessing now till the new year! I’ll DTD as I fancy it, drink gin, eat pate and generally enjoy Christmas!! Hopefully I’ll get my bfp and a lovely newborn ready to do it all again next year!!
Xx

Sorry can't remember the answer to this but when is AF estimated to arrive after mc? Mine was without 'intervention' so do I count the first day of bleeding as CD1 or 1st day of BFN? As was bleeding for 12 days but still had BFP for that whole time.