The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

Rose my Af is due Sunday too! Only have luteal Phase of 12dpo! FX for us testing thursday! I've ordered more FRERs at the ready. Hope your foot isnt numb for much longer! Could you have a cuppa whilst you wait it out?

I’m trying to catch up... I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room having just had an injection in the neuroma in my foot. My foot is totally numb so driving home might be interesting 😳

Twittle that sounds discriminatory to me, I’m pretty sure having a mc is not a reason to extend someone’s probationary period. Also I thought you got full employment rights once the probationary period has ended, not after 2 years. Why would they think you want to be a sahm? Surely it’s not their position to assume that? A lot of Mums with young children work. Good news about the big project though! And it also seems that you are another dpo sister, I will be 10dpo on Thursday & I also have that day in my mind as the earliest testing day.

@Kinsters we are going to Serfaus in Austria and staying in a hotel that is excellent for children. If they are happy, we are happy! Skiing in slushy snow is really hard work, you should find proper snow much easier. And Val d’isere is lovely and Feb is an excellent time to ski in Europe. April is right at the end of the season for us so I am praying the snow is ok. Last time we went the snow line was above the resort , but below the slopes, so the skiing was mostly ok. But they had a couple of runs open (maintained with snow machines) down into the resort which were so slushy. I skied my then (just) 5 year old all the way down into the resort between my legs, with my poles across his body. It absolutely destroyed me, it was such hard work without having a child between your legs. I couldn’t even speak until I started drinking that evening. But it makes me smile now thinking about it.

@Frazzle that sounds promising! I have no signs at all apart from the odd spot, so I’m not holding out much hope. Although my acupuncturist said there are no signs during the tww so not to look for any. Interesting your AF isn’t due for a while yet, do you have a long LP? If so your progesterone levels should be good. Mind should be due on Sunday or Monday, but I’m thinking the dhea might make it come early.

God I wish I could move jobs!!
My industry means I don't have a choice of employer, and senior management are arseholes!!
I HATE it!
In a part of the job that I hate but trained up to the eyeballs so can't get out.
Been in the industry for 14 years!!

Do not care about anyone, we are all just pieces on a chess board that they move with ease and sod the implications for you personally.

Tried to move me 1hr away from step sons schools in September... only the threat of legal action under equality act due to MH issues they caused stopped it!! I envy anyone who can just leave a job they are unhappy in and get a similar one with a better employer :(

I am gonna be cautious, ride out the next 3 months being #1 employee and if DH does decide to cotinue our TTC journey then I certainly wont tell them I'm pregnant

Rather there is only 8 of us in the office, its very flat structured. I think the Directors (one of whom is HR) were just trying to be compassionate maybe but came out wrong? I know that they TTC baby #2 for years without any success and eventually gave up. Feeling a lot better now they've given me a project again! Was getting so worried.

Giving you a major project is definitely not a red flag. Perhaps have a chat with your manager to find out if there's anything else that has caused your probation to be extended? Or is there someone higher up you could speak to?
You physically could not come into work whilst miscarrying - also you spent time in hospital.... it's not like someone who had a heavy weekend and has a "cold" on a Monday morning.

Rather I work in town planning consultancy currently. Before I worked for major house builders planning teams. Left my previous employer, Persimmon, because I was being asked to do unethical and illegal stuff and when I refused I was branded "not a team player"

Okay so work have just given me a major project.... this project will last years so I dont think they are planning on me going anywhere after our talk?

@Twittle that sounds discriminatory to me. I would not worry about what your CV looks like and consider looking around. Genuinely. Can I ask what industry you work in? If you find the right employer, they won't mind what your CV looks like if you're the right fit for the role.

@Kinsters that's a bit shit... I can't imagine how it must feel for everyone to speak a different language and for you not to have a clue what's going on.
Val d'isere is much different to that. Lots of runs for the less advanced and the apres ski is great. Can't imagine not being able to walk to bars etc, that's the best bit! Think you'll enjoy it much more than Hakuba... so many people have recommended Japan but think I'd steer clear from Hakuba judging from what you said....

@Frazzle that's so, so, so exciting!! I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you

Honestly @Twittle it works for me. I did my monthly diligent DIL duties of going out for dinner with her and FIL on the weekend. She made a really rude dig about my parents being loaded (they're not, just work really, really hard) - DH did pull her up to be fair - but it genuinely bounced off me. "Stupid is as stupid does...." - if you can prepare yourself for the worst, anything else she says will be a surprise

Frazzle idk, I really like my colleagues here and do feel supported. I think it is just their business outlook maybe? If I am not pregnant now I might consider a move... just it would mean 3 jobs in space of 14 months which will look so shit on my CV.

Oh that does sound so bloomin positive though Frazzle! Keeping my FX this is the one

Kin ah I see, yeah it is surprising how much socially fitting in and mixing plays in whether you like a work place! I dont think it is discriminatory because I was still in the probation period. Basically you have 0 rights whilst on probation and you dont have full employee rights till you work somewhere for 2 years

Cross post but Twittle that's awful and surely discriminatory? Do you have it on email or is this just a conversation? Either way that's dreadful of them.

Twittle the working language is English so meetings and in the lift etc. are fine it's just socially. There are three main racial groups in Malaysia and everyone hangs out in their group so I don't fit in anywhere. I fit in best with the Chinese as my DH is Chinese but I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese so its tough to integrate.

Frazzle they said its because they wanted to give me the chance to decide if I really want to work or if I would prefer to focus on TTC and be a SAHM. It is until 1st April now. Feel like they've done it so they can easily remove me if I get pregnant again.

Good luck at work today, hopefully your back eases up despite being sat at a desk!

ratherbe Hakuba was...disjointed? I'm not sure what most ski resorts are like because that was my first ski holiday but you couldn't walk to restaurants or bars in the evening and you had to pick one mountain and stay there for the day which was OK for people who could do all the runs but I got a bit bored doing the same two greens over and over. Also the snow wasn't great - we went end of Feb beginning of March and by the end of the holiday grass/tarp was starting to show through. I didn't mind this so much though as I found slush quite forgiving to ski on!

I also may be biased because I got very bored as we were in a fairly small group with snowboarders and very competent skiers so I ended up alone most of the time. Val d'isere will be a much larger group and varying abilities.

Thank you everyone, think DH is probably just really unwell atm and I am too etc so with that and DS' 18 month Sleep Regression its all just a bit much for him, especially with the worries over jobs. I've made it to work and feel a lot better for getting here actually, only in till 4pm too as made it in by 8am so I shall swing by hospital after work to check on DH. We did have this before, when we first started TTC and DS went through a sleep regression then too and DH just said he needs sleep more than another baby.

I'll be taking a test Thursday, I'll be 10dpo so should expect a FRER to pick something up. If there is nothing then I'll be finishing off the bottle of Bailey's that evening.

Kin cant imagine how hard it must be not speaking the language where you work. How do you manage in meetings and social spots like the kitchen etc?

princess ah sorry your cramps are horrid! Hopefully they'll ease for you and this will be a swift AF visit

Rachy I am the same with being wrapped up and still cold!! DH laughs at me when I am wearing thick PJs under the duvet with a blanket too!

Rather that is a good way to look at MIL, just assume the worse and then nothing will surprise me

Just catching up....
@rachy I am dying at the scrambled egg/fanny juice... that's absolutely fucking hilarious! I haven't even told my DH about different types of cm let alone studying it, he would be traumatised...!

Twittle god poor you and your poor DH. Your MIL sounds like a bat out of hell. How is your DH today? It does sound like you've had the same thing. I wouldn't worry about drinking until you see a line... you're certainly not going to do any harm at this stage, if you are, and it sounds like you definitely needed it.
One of my friends suggested that I deal with my MIL by understanding that she's a mean, stupid, nasty old cow - once I understand that's who she is, and expect her to say mean, stupid, nasty stuff in 99.9% of situations, she can't upset me anymore. Bit difficult when your DH is in hospital but it's worth trying... has massively helped me.
Work sound awful. I would definitely get some advice on that - is there a union you can contact? I'm sure once he's feeling better he'll come round. It must be stressful for him knowing you're also not well, have DS to take care of, work...
Hope you feel better soon too, look after yourself xx

Lovely new name @Pegase

@princessbala yes I had my first AF on Christmas Eve which was 31 days since the MC. The cramps I had were horrid too.

@Kinsters I'm so jealous. Val d'isere is stunning and just a really lovely resort. Arguably my favourite. Would love to go again. How was Hakuba? I would really love to go there too. My DH hates skiing - probably the only thing I would change about him if I could - so I'm not sure how many times I'll get to go again.

Morning ladies
@twittle don’t read too much into your DH, mine told me a week ago he wants a divorce during a row... he doesn’t, they just don’t deal well with stress and illness. Just shelve the the ttc talk until you are both better and then I’m sure it will pick back up. Get yourself to dr too!!!

You lot with air con.... I’m jealous of the climate! I’m in fleecy pjs in brushed cotton sheets with duvet and I’m cold!! Lol!!

Princess / edidxb I had my ‘period’.... wasn’t painful but boy was heavy on 1 day.... no clots just thin blood (nosebleed type). Hope it’s our bodies sorting out xx

@TwittleBee I think your MIL is comparing notes with my MIL they sound like the same person! Good on him for being a modern man with taking the double barrelled surname... I think my MIL would have a heart attack 🤣

@TwittleBee that sounds horrendous! I'm sorry you're having such an awful time! Hopefully he changes his mind after you're both feeling better, maybe he's just feeling a little overwhelmed... my DH decided two mcs ago that he didn't want to try anymore... but not he's saying we will just keep going until we get our rainbow.... hopefully yours will be the same!

So I've come on my first period since the d&c and it's light atm but bloody hell the cramps are crazy! And getting worse 😩 I've got so much to do today aswell!

Has anyone else had a period since the mc?

Rose where are you off to? We went to Hakuba in Japan last year (quick and easy for us but snow was apparently a bit slushy - I'm a total beginner so had no idea!). This year we're going to Val D'isere.

I've hated my job since I started but don't see the point in changing as my main problems (being the odd one out and not speaking the language) won't change wherever I work.