TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

I haven't had a line dark enough yet that I believe. I did manage to avoid testing today though. I'll test tomorrow and I guess I'll know for sure.

Sorry for your loss @Frillyfarmer

Strawberrye all my mcs were less than 4wks 4ds. While my RMC aren't a shining beacon of clinical excellence and they have been slightly dissmissive, they have done the investigations and did find a few APS markers. I'm now on treatment and 14wks (I was shocked to get beyond 5wks). I really relate to your feeling of not having quite valid grief, but I know that each one of my losses totally devastated me. I don't see them as 'chemicals', they were precious to me. Good luck and be persistent, 3 early losses are still recurrent losses.

beaglemum93 tenative congratulations Definitely step away from the tests though. I know I've used them to chart 'progression' but it's never had a link with how successful the pregnancy was. They aren't designed for it. 9 weeks ago I convinced myself I would imminently start bleeding and bought 28 pads when my stick wasn't darker after a week. I didn't though, and I got bloods at the GP which showed a healthy rise. On Monday I'd approach the doc for some bloods for your sanity. Fingers crossed for you. X

Laney79 tww is awful. I'd definitely agree to do the wonderful things not pregnant women can do and bloody well enjoy them. If AF arrives repeat as necessary

@RedRobin7 she had a baby boy at the start of December-i wondered aswell and I checked back on the Pregnancy after loss thread.

Hi @Frillyfarmer it's very individual I think, I'm older (39, no kids) and it seems to take my body a while to settle. My first MMC was a nightmare and took ages to actually happen with various rounds of meds (discovered 17th March, eventually stopped bleeding start of June) I fell pregnant again in August, another MMC was discovered 19th September, lost that one naturally, neg test 14th October but it took 50+ days for a period, second cycle was 35 days. This cycle appears to be going back to "normal" as I ov'd around day 14. So it really does depend on the individual. I started opks after my first loss so I had more of an idea of what was happening and to help dtd timing.

Thanks @Yukka @strawberrye @RedRobin7 doing my best to hold out! I've got some diy to do today and I think I'll start Michelle Obama's book to try and distract me, also have a new phone to play with. Looking back I got v faint lines on a sensitive internet cheapie around 12/13dpo and a clear frer on 15dpo with bow so I need to hold out if I can. The poas urge is so strong! Mind you the Cm appears to be much less today so perhaps I'm kidding myself...arghhh!

@strawberrye They absolutely shouldn't turn you away at all, your losses have been documented, and no matter how early they were you still fell pregnant. If they do try and fob you off I'd be quite forceful but polite, explain how you feel and that you are asking for their help as per referral and nice guidance. It also helps I find to be honest about how it's effecting you mentally. I was going out of my mind with my second loss and I needed to do something, get some answers so I begged the Epas nurse, my gp and my consultant to do some tests because of how badly it was hitting my mental state. They couldn't do everything I wanted but they did do some. I think because they recognised I may well have become a much bigger problem to nhs mental health services in the long run if not! If I was you and they do try and fob you off go back to the gp, tell them you were unhappy and want a second opinion and ask for referral to a Tommy's clinic.

@RedRobin7 sorry about AF. Fingers crossed your OH stays on board!

@Lilimum6 how are you doing lovely? Any progress from the spotting? Is it your scan tomorrow? Xx

Hi All,

I've had my first peak OPK after miscarriage so hoping I'm about to ovulate.
19th October my Dad passed away. 18th November I get my BFP. 19th December we found out babies heart wasn't beating. I was worrying about what was going to happen today... but maybe ovulation?!

Also does anyone know what happened to Cake - did she ever come back on with her baby news?

@KnitKitty How's the new job going?

Morning ladies! Sorry busy week so haven't been around.

I LOVE the rainbow blankets ❤️ My friend recently had to quit her job to spend time with her mum who is dying of cancer, so I'm going to ask her at some point if she will make me a rainbow blanket - there will soon come a day when I think she would appreciate a distraction and it's something she can work on at her own pace. I have no idea if I'll ever get my rainbow baby so she kinda has no deadline to make it by!

@lilmousey How are you doing? Have you managed to speak with your OH?
It sure is hard when our dogs have to go to their new owners but we know they have changing lives and are so proud of them!

@Lilimum6 Sounds like the service you went to was just what you needed and so nice that the priest said a special prayer for you.

@Yukka @SerenaOverjoyed Congratulations to you both, so pleased you've reached 12 weeks and hopefully you can start to relax a little now. Do keep us updated on how you're doing 😊

@rdm10 I tested but I knew it would be a BFN. I just stupidly held on to a little hope. My period showed up the next day which was hard because it was a year ago I was pregnant for the first time. Really hoping we can try in two weeks time and my husband doesn't change his mind or can't get home due to travelling a lot!

@InDreamland Sorry to hear things are still so tough for you. My first due date we went to Wales for a long weekend and walked around and it was beautiful. Unfortunately I woke up on the last day with my worst ever migraine so it's like my body knew. I had worried about having a migraine after labour so maybe I was always going to have one that bad! I hope you find a nice way to remember your baby. The day was not as hard as I expected it to be.

@strawberrye I totally understand how you're feeling. My best friend was a week behind me and now she's due 7th March there's so much baby talk. She did say that because she's had 3 miscarriages she would never be as insensitive as some people are but she does message me a lot about how her son is wriggling or her son is the size of a loaf of bread and her son this her son that. She's not had him yet and It's driving me and DH mad! I'm so happy for her but find it so hard that should have been me too.

@Laney79 It's so bloody hard being in the TWW - time goes so slowly. Everything crossed for you xx

@MeghanV07 @Yukka @fnej01 @Laney79 thank you all for your support and words of encouragement. I guess I just feel like a bit of a fraud sometimes because I've never got to the stage in pregnancy where EPAU would see me, or where there was any point doing an ultrasound scan - which I think adds to the feels of my losses not "counting". Its a real fear that the RMC will belittle my losses, because I'll feel totally lost then. I appreciate losses before 6 weeks/chemical pregnancies/subclinical miscarriages/whatever the hell you want to call them are really common but if the RMC won't help me where do I go? I certainly wouldn't be suitable to go down the infertility route at this stage as we have conceived 3 times in 16 months. I even had a dream about the RMC turning me away the other night. I think that fear probably won't fade until I've actually had my appointment, only 2 and a half weeks to go.

@Laney79 the TWW really is shit isn't it? Have you got any hobbies that you find absorbing? For me I really find knitting or exercise helpful.

@Beaglemum93 try to step away from the tests for 2-3 days then you'll have a clearer idea of whats going on when you test again - really hard I know but might be easier than the uncertainty? Certainly cheaper too! Good luck.

@Frillyfarmer welcome and sorry to hear about your loss. It does vary between people. My losses have all been very early, never making it to 6 weeks, and I have found my cycles are back to normal either within a month or 2-3 months at the maximum.

Afternoon ladies. Just spent the last hour or so reading through the thread as I'm currently going through an early miscarriage at about 6wks. It's really nice to read your successes and congratulations on your 12 week scan @Yukka

27
TTC #2
MC #1, ectopic in 2018 with coil.

Had a scan this morning to confirm due to ectopic history. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself today, luckily very snuggly toddler to cheer me up.

I'm not really sure what to expect now, and how long it might take my cycles to return to normal?

@Beaglemum93 I didn't implant till 12dpo and now I'm 11+1 with hopefully a healthy baby growing ❤️ fingers crossed for you 😘

But with my son I implanted 9dpo so it can vary so much xx

@Laney79 That's great news for her, it's nice to hear that she went on to have a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage. The waiting is the worst! You have so much more self control than me if you can wait til 12 dpo! I really wish I could wait til after AF is late...

@Beaglemum93 it could be ok-I was googling this morning and I read you can implant as late as 12dpo! I know one of the ladies on a previous version of this thread didn't get a line until 15dpo and I was curious how she'd got on so I checked the other day-she gave birth to a healthy boy. Keeping fingers crossed for you.
I have 4 frers and desperately trying not to test until at least 12dpo...5 agonising days to go!!!

Yeah, I've been using FRERs @Laney79. I think the line is still too faint for 12 dpo though so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I've had to ask my DH to hide the rest of the tests so I have to wait before testing again haha

Ooh fingers crossed @Beaglemum93 -were you using frers? X

Congratulations on the good scan @Yukka!

I need someone to remind me next cycle not to test early, I'm going insane! On Tuesday (9 dpo) there was a very very faint line, on Wednesday there was a faint line (faint but obviously pink and obviously there). Yesterday it was back to very faint but today's test was darker than Wednesdays! I don't even know what is going on! I guess only time will tell...

Arghhh....I just need to vent.

TWW is rubbish, only 7dpo and already totally obsessed with symptom spotting. The days are going so slowly and I'm reading far too much into every feeling/drop of CM/tiny possibility of nausea.

It's making me even more nuts than I was-and frankly I was already a fair way down that particular track. Any suggestions on distractions or ways to protect my sanity? I know if it's a bfn next week I'll fall apart, despite the logical bit of my brain desperately trying to keep me on a sensible path...this time last year it was all so easy, I didn't even test until I was over a week late! Arghhhhhhhh

Thought you guys might appreciate this...

When I came off the pill my acne increased which I obviously found annoying. I haven't had any for a few weeks since miscarriage and I'm waiting for my first ovulation and AF after... so I've been slightly pleased this week to see a few spots appear... means things must be getting back to normal! Never thought I would be pleased to see them!

@RedRobin7 did you test today?

@strawberrye both of my babies only made it to 6 weeks-both were missed mcs so I didn't find out till 9 weeks but they are both considered miscarriages by the health professionals. Hugs xxx

@strawberrye my 2nd and 3rd losses were both 5-6weeks and they have both been regarded as miscarriages and their legitimacy as losses never questioned x

@strawberrye it's bloody though isn't it. The day I had my miscarriage in September, a friend send us a video of her saying she was having a little boy. You want to be so happy & grateful they're having a healthy pregnancy, but you can't help but be bloody jealous! Sending you lots of love xxxx

Hi ladies I am feeling quite down todày..my friend has had her 12 week scan which has thankfully gone very well, happy for her as she has suffered losses last year. But we were only a week apart with my third pregnancy and it feels like a dagger twisting in my stomach that I'm not also getting my scan picture and finally having a pregnancy which reaches 2nd trimester. I really feel this is never going to happen for me. Even the "miscarriage what every woman needs to know" book seems to discount very early miscarriages/chemical pregnancies and I am petrified of going to my RMC appointment and them saying because my losses were so early it's just one of those things. Why in that case has it happened 3 times in a row to an otherwise fit and healthy 27 year old?